Chapter 9 : Fall again

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"You know it won't have ended up that way if we weren't that stupid," I told blowing on my scraped elbow.

"Say for yourself, I enjoyed every bit of it" Sahil gave a cheshire grin sitting back coolly against the chair.

We happened to fell not far away from the ice cream parlour.

I scraped my elbow and knees and as for Sahil. He had lost his mind since he fell. Cause, he couldn't just stop laughing obnoxiously!

He broke into laughter when I shot him a pointed look

Oh, come on already.

I rolled my eyes exhaling
"Sahil this isn't funny you can't do that when I am bicycling-

"So does that mean I can do that when you are sitting?" He cocked his eyebrow dropping his elbows on the table the small round table separating us.

Eyes piercing into mine telling me he was dead serious

Lips tilted into a crooked smile annoyingly making fun of me.

"I- I- " I refrained myself from continuing further flustered I muttered, "Shut up, eat your ice cream!"

I stuffed my mouth with a spoonful of ice cream, then grimaced brain freeze.
I hit the table repeatedly with my fist wincing.

"Oh boy let me see that" he came out and stood before me bending to get to my level he held my head turning it left and right while I watched through my blanch expression.

"nice, I can't see clearly your brain freeze expression from there"

I gazed up at him put my hands on where his were cupping my cheeks and pinched them hard.

His smile wavered, "you can pinch hard"

"And punch too" I added warmly.

"Noted," he said, getting back and obediently taking his place back.

Good boy

I lifted the spoon staring at him sternly and ate the ice cream this time in a small amount and let it melt in my mouth.

Eating ice cream at 2 am with my enemy checked on the bucket list I never prepared. The situation was bizarre but can't blame and waste the ice cream. That would be a shame.

"Let's exchange our icecream" Sahil suggested suddenly he was already on the second cup of his butterscotch icecream, now was eyeing mine interestedly

"No" I narrowed my eyes at him with a spoon hanging at the side of my mouth. I covered my ice cream out of his gaze. I didn't like the way he was looking at my ice cream.

"I want to taste yours"

"Oh I thought you want to wear mine, Still no," I said.

"Come on you know this place was my mother's favorite place it was this unfortunate place where she met my father for the first time and then her real son. They often used to come here together with of course excluding me. " He waved his arms gesturing to himself.
"And now can we exchange since you heard my another sad tale?"

"Look I am sorry for what happened with you but you can't expect everything to go your way since you have a bad life," I told, honestly.

"Really?" He asked in a small voice

"Yeah..." I glanced at my ice cream then at him.
Truth hurts but that's what it is.
He can't just go around telling people his sad stories and sad and emotional and heartbreaking stories making them wonder whether they were also being mean and bad like others...

I pursed my lips, uncertain now

He shrugged, "one more incident added to Sad Sahil's Saga"

"Ughh why don't you go get yourself blackcurrant too!" my sensible side prompted

"Did I say I want blackcurrant? I said I wanted to try yours"

"Mine is blackcurrant, Sahil" I pointed at my icecream

"Yep yours" he nodded agreeing

I frowned confused, "Should I get one for you too?"

He and someone groaned from the back table.

We turned.

A girl was sitting back from us she and probably her friend were the people aside from us in the parlour.

"Sister he wants to kiss you indirectly he wants your icecream the one you are licking get the gist he doesn't want the ice cream he wants-

"Mansha I swear they got your point let's leave it now" the other girl with a bob haircut shushed her friend making her turn back to their business. They whispered to themselves after shouting at me to get the gist of the situation.

Oooo

I turned too slowly keeping my gaze fixed on the ice cream then stole a glance at Sahil he also look at me hesitantly and immediately we stuffed our mouths with ice cream.

Brain freeze!

I hit the table he coughed hitting his head with a fist.
I laughed 'cause he looked cute ..he glanced at me. I blushed and pushed my ice cream in his way. His eyebrows shot up he bit his lip suppressing his grin and slid his cup my way too. I took it quickly gulped down a bite and put my head down on the table hiding my face and my smile

God, what was that?

What was this feeling?

••

"Okay, shall we go now?" I asked once the ice cream was over and we managed to overcome our sudden shyness and whatever mood that was created.

"I don't want to go if possible I want to build a house over here not a big one just with a bedroom-

I narrowed my eyes at him

He smiled,
"And also a kitchen or maybe a library where you can shut yourself while I lounge around distracting you. You scold me and I behave the way I am. You be hard-headed and I be crack headed-

"I am not hard-headed"

"We can be in the best way imperfect for each other?" He said suddenly looking vulnerable and making me uncomfortable with that proposal?

I looked away at my mobile screen
"I will ignore what you just said... Sahil can we go now?"

"Maybe it's time to pull out another tale from Sad Sahil's Saga"

"I wonder how far you gonna take that"

"Me too" he smiled devilishly

"You are such a bad boy" I commented slightly attracted and slightly disgusted.

"I never said I wasn't one"

"What are we doing even?" I wondered aloud sliding my mobile back in.

"Exactly you were supposed to be in love with me"

"Sahil you can't force anyone to love you it's not a few hours process it takes time to bloom it takes time to know each other better outside from the surface view it, takes time to understand each other it takes time to trust each other" I whispered the last part out a little emotionally.

"So should I kidnap you then?"

Then the same girl low whistled from the back table.

"Mansha" her friend hissed at her

"Aliza stop being a dead audience!"

"They are having serious discussion Mansha"

"Are they?"

"Yes"

They whispered again

I forgot they were still there.

I blinked back the tears, it hurt that he thought this was all a game for him.

He suddenly took my hand in his making me look at him through tears
"Serra you see I am desperate to fall in love I am desperate for you to fall for me you been there out like just all the things all the people in my life who can never be mine I am scared to see you there on that list and hate you immensely like them" he urged.

"I tried Sahil I tried to forget the past just for the moment but I can't forget the pain the emptiness for the best friend that you took..... you-r yo-ur friends took away from me they couldn't care less you couldn't hate less. So please don't expect me to accept you all overnight. Don't expect me to sympathize with you all, to consider for you all because you all never did that for me not even once,"

My voice cracked a lone tear fell I sniffed untangling my hand from his and wiping it, "Sahil I can't love the way you want me to. Not now not today not tomorrow. With your presence, I feel the absence of him. Both feelings are contradicting both feelings are draining me out. I can't live like this forever. I can't face you without the guilt weighing me down. I care for you Sahil I feel for you...I even love you to a certain point" I straightened my shoulder and said it clearly, "but just not the way you want me to"

He leaned back letting it sink in, staring at nothing with an unreadable expression,
"I don't know whether it's you or it's this constant rejection that made me drawn to you. Anyway, I will take whatever you are offering better than nothing. I am going far away Serra" his eyes met mine
" I don't have any idea where but it's far away from my father from my wrecked friends. I have no happy memories to take me there just wanted something from you. You are the only person aside from my sister that made me wish I was different and better. And it hurts the most because I can't do that. I have been away from her for this reason now to do the same with you. Goodbye Serra, Goodbye, I wish you meet someone better someone who understands you, someone you can trust, someone you can love without hate pulling you back... just someone for whom you can fall again" he got up looking in my eyes showing me his filled with sadness, desperate to ooze out.

I stayed back and watched him go my heart felt ripped apart. I saw flashbacks from everything from meeting him to loving him now to leaving him.

I stayed numb just breathing in and out which felt tedious task. I leaned back holding my head felt like everything stopped for the moment just leaving me alone with this pain of separation from another person that left their mark in my life

His last words rang softly then loudly when I tried to turn it off

Someone for whom you can fall again

Fall again

What could be the chances?

They were Aarav's last words too.

I got up immediately Oh my god. I snapped out oh my God. My heart started pounding with dread.
Dread that nearly turned me blackout

I blinked trying to stand upright my limbs moved confusedly and anxiously with fear I stepped out haphazardly.
I collided with the chair I lost every sense of the direction.

I stumbled yet rushed to get out

Sahil Don't just Don't...

Black dots covered my vision I felt fear tugging me back I grasped something to fight it back my hands fisted I couldn't breath properly slowly fear was engulfing me and turning me paralyzed again.

"Hey, are you alright?" Someone helped me up. I shook my head to focus, saw I was out on the street it was turning light. I focused I tried to focus on who was holding me she was the same girl and her friend they looked at me with concern she said in a soft voice, "he went the left way" I looked at the direction trying to calm my breathing. In this state I can't move I held my knees bending then looked straight.

I don't have time. I don't have time, I felt myself suppressing my sob I moved again.

"Hey, you dropped this!" They called from behind.

"Hey! Hey Miss Miss Jacket..."

"Miss..Red Jacket!!"

The tall girl reached me running, "oh man you are running fast, faster than me bravo!" She shot me thumbs up and then held out the red card. I stopped.

Sahil's father's card.

I snatched it instantly my hands shook so badly I fisted it tightly I dashed out making my way to that bridge again to the bridge that I avoided for the past two years.

•••

I couldn't reach there just by running, running when my entire system fought to pull me back. So I called. I called his father and told him where Sahil was. I thought, I guessed where he could be and I wanted it to be so wrong.

I reached the site hailing a cab.

I got out closing the door, the sun was rising from the water behind the bridge. I walked slowly cold sweat rolling down the nape of my neck. Sahil was there not on the railing of the bridge. My entire body sagged spotting him alive with his back facing me he was looking in the river.

After watching him properly seeing him unhurt still there not just my figment of imagination I turned and noticed his father standing against his black car with folded arms.

"You were gonna jump into that, boy? only proving my point what a useless thing you were" his father said.

Sahil turned he had a murderous expression on, "or I could jump right back into while you watch only to prove what an inhuman you are"

"Sahil," I said, worriedly getting near him.

"That girl tipped me about your whereabouts since you have decided to never listen to me and to never grow up. Now quit playing around I have other things to do" Sahil's father glanced at his watch sighing.

Sahil'd head snapped to me, "you told him where I was?" He laughed shaking his head, "you followed me and called him"

"Sahil I was trying to help," I told trying to reach him he was shutting me off by that nonchalant act.

He folded his arm listening to me intently and nodding, "you were trying to help me by throwing me right into the hell. I got it. You saved me, Serra. You just saved me congratulations. I was deciding to leave this all behind and move away one last time looking at the bridge where his real son jumped from. Wanted to make amends by not promising but hoping one day I would stop hating him. But Serra looks like you don't want me to. You just want me to rot. Thank you you just saved me " he moved away from the bridge heading towards his father's car

I hurried to make him listen to me I grasped his sleeve
"Sahil no...Sahil I thought you will jump I didn't want you do that, that's not the answer-

"It was for me Serra" he cut me off harshly whispering, "I didn't mind you running for me to save me I hate the fact you called my father the last person I wished to see when I leave. He will ruin my dying just like my living" he jerked my hold off his sleeve stamping towards the car.

He was leaving

He was leaving hating me for real this time

I tailed after him begging,
"Please don't be mad Sahil don't hate me"

He turned and watched me crying, he took a step and pulled me to him by the nape of my neck and kissed me hard. I held the collars of his shirt tightly kissing him back. He rested his forehead against mine moving away, "I don't hate you Serra I will never hate you I just hate the fact you didn't do anything to stop me from leaving you"

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