Revelation: a surprising and previously unknown fact that has been disclosed to others.

~~~

Fifteen minutes had passed since the clock struck exactly one o'clock.

I paused the episode of a cliché-driven drama about a dramatic teenager who had emphasised every tiny twist in her romantic life, as if that was what true tragedies consisted of.

Blinking against the darkness, I focused on the disturbed stillness of sound, then placed my phone onto my stomach as the pacing steps drove to the kitchen.

The clicking of the light assured me to slip out of the sheets, stumbling in the dark and treading down the cold steps of the stairs.

The chance of me scaring my mother were eliminated, the oscillations in my throat guaranteed that. They fumbled around my chest before stifling my breathing, erupting into explosive noise. It was a good thing that I wasn't particularly fond of pranks.

She whipped around, and to my surprise her face wasn't exactly the semblance of what I'd assumed. Rather than having sparkly eyelids with slick black flicks, the only brightness around her dark circles were inside the shock of her orbs. Her mouth wasn't a comfortable mauve, but naturally soft pink and tinged with a light red. Instead of having a stylish hairdo, the lashes of brown were strung together in a messy ponytail.

Mum looked like a wreck, not back from a date.

"Ava?" she almost hissed, "Why are you still up?"

I shrugged as she gulped through a glass of cold water, "It feels like I haven't seen you in a long time."

"I feel the same, it's almost like I only see your shadow."

"I always have the same routine." I pointed out to Mum.

My mother gestured for me to follow her steps to the living room, as she collapsed onto the sofa. I joined her, crossing my legs together and wiping my forehead, the heat of early May was building.

"What's going on?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"The truth is, for the last few weeks I've been working for more hours, I want to be able to support you financially."

I was mortified.

At that specific moment, I had never hated myself so much. All those built scars were nothing to embarrass me, but the guilt drenched in my face was explicitly cunning.

I felt like scum.

My cheap thoughts had been so confident in interacting with the concept that my mother was on meaningless dates. That she had ditched me. That she didn't care.

The parallel had struck me right where it hurt, I felt unstable and touched, the fusion making my gut churn.

My body reacted to her initiating words, leaning forward before collapsing into her surprised arms. I was sure she was taken aback by my display of affection, but nonetheless, she still hugged me tightly.

"You don't need to do that for me." I honestly proclaimed, my voice muffled in the material of her waterfall cardigan, "I don't deserve it."

"What are you talking about idiot?" She ran a hand through my hair comfortingly, "I want to make the ride more comfortable, I want to make up for my negligence."

"You already have." I raised my heavy head, "Just by being here, right now."

"I feel like I'm missing out on watching you grow, I can't count all the important moments I've missed."

I leaned back of the sofa, then wearily smiled at her curious face, "Today, I got threatened by my boyfriends' twin sister. She was protecting me, with good intentions, but it honestly just made me feel undermined."

"What did she warn you of?" My mum held an expression that danced between defence and offence.

"His tendency of taking vulnerable girls and making them more vulnerable." I summarised, then yawned.

"How do you feel around him?"

"It feels as though there's a physical obligation to dating."

"Which there isn't." She shook her head, firmly stating the point. "Don't forget to make sure he asks for consent, and doesn't demand things."

"I got it," I saluted, then pondered, "I would never go as far as calling it love."

Mum laughed, "Then why are you with him?"

My mind froze, before admitting, "He's attractive and makes me laugh. Jesse made a move, then swooped me up right as I fell for him."

"Ah, but the question with having a partner is," she held her breath, building suspense before releasing, "Are they in it for the long-term?"

"My problem is, I don't have a long-term."

~

The slushy served an alternate purpose as I pressed it against my face, feeling the ice condense the heat on my face.

Both Sasha and Jesse had a knack for pretending events hadn't occured, and I wondered why they didn't just act together.

Maybe they were.

A conspiracy burrowed into my thoughts as I shipped on the flavoured drink, zoning out of the conversation that Sadia had struck. Imagine if they'd somehow been affiliated in a plot that derived my mind into a state of mess.

"Hey!" Dina struck her elbow into my arm, and I yelled at the impact.

I glared at her, rubbing the spot, "What?"

"You haven't heard a word we've said, right?" Davis snickered and then looked towards Jesse, "I guess she isn't a fan of you."

I met his blue irises uncomfortably and then murmured, "I'm sorry, what did I miss?"

Sasha sighed, "Your birthday is next Friday, have you got any plans?"

"I don't think so...well not for the day anyway. My mum's going back to her original work schedule, so we'll probably spend the night together."

"What do you normally do then?" Justin asked, glaring at the sun before closing his eyes.

Dina and I exchanged glances before we stated, "Movie marathon."

I bit down a giggle, remembering last year, when we had watched all six of Tolkeins'' fantastic Middle Earths' fantasies. She had arrived at five in the morning, and we binged through the journeys of Bilbo Baggins and his nephew for the following days.

It was hard for any movies to succeed those spectacular scenes, and Orlando Bloom as an elf was what caused my dwarf best friend to squeal during the entire night.

"Well," Sasha raised her eyebrows, "How about a barbaceue at our place?"

My own arched hairs raised at the suggestion of her inviting me to be closer to Jesse, what went through her mind?

"Oh my God, Ken" Sadia grinned at the boy, "Your mum has to do those spicy tofu burgers for me!"

He laughed, "No promises, you get too hyperactive."

"As if she isn't already?" Davis mocked lightheartedly.

Everybody else seemed to appeal to the idea, and I wasn't about to dampen their spirits because of mere paranoia, "Sure, that sounds good."

"Great," Sasha enthusiastically leaned forward, her smile completely convincing, "We'll discuss plans on the group chat."

"What were you saying about Ava not being my fan?" Jesse arrogantly smirked to Davis.

The rest of us exchanged extremelly patronised glances; these two took every opportunity to compete and argue.

"Exactly that," Our eyes watched Davis as he taunted the bomb.

"Don't be a retard."

"I think you'll find that it's the other way round."

"There's not much of a competition though, is there?" Now, the attention was back to the other.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning," Jesse bit his lip and then smiled, "So much for your crush on her."

Me?

The only sound that emerged between us was a clattering collision of my slushy meeting the rustic, concrete ground. Thousands of thoughts were trembling through my catastrophic mind as I adhered to the situation, imagining the liquid pour through all the broken cracks etched into the ground.

Had it not been for the instantaneous blow, my drink would have been drowning the cockiness of my boyfriend. I couldn't acknowledge how he dared to have the audacity of exposing someones' personal secret so casually.

The swift "Fuck you" was a parting as Davis stormed away from our table, dragging a breeze away as he walked into the grass.

My state of mind collapsed as I stood up, my legs grazing through the blur of students who were sitting on the grass.

Oblivious of my stalking footprints, Davis cursed a stream of profound words, making his way towards the large Elm tree that was planted beside the south side of the school. The side were everyone kept to themselves. Be it making out, taking drugs, or just thinking.

We broke the sequence.

"Stop!" Panting out, I leaned on the tree and regained my breath, not knowing what the hell to even say after the revelation.

All this time he had acted this way, painting black and white over what should have been colourful emotions. My presence was a shithole. I basically dragged him into a reminder of feelings.

He was furious.

Anger lit his face like a flash of lightening, ready to pounce as soon as the thunder rumbled. It didn't have to be me, anyone who came to him during this spur would be the target of unleashment.

"This," anything I said would trigger his bullets, "Isn't how it should have been."

He lunged forward, index finger and thumb on either side of the flesh surrounding the corners of my lips, tinged with red artificial flavour. My reactions didn't want to urge a surrender. I didn't flinch.

"How was it meant to be? Ever since that time in our first English class when you handed me a tissue rather than laughing at my nose bleed, I have wanted to kiss these lips."

What exactly was I doing?

My body didn't initiate a response to move away, and yet I didn't have the courage to meet his eyes.

"It's wistful to think you feel the same, but I sure as hell know that you do not have a genuine ounce of sincerity in dating Jesse. And did you know Ava? That only makes me feel like crap, because you settled for him, when I've reeled my entire self out for you."

Like a wimp, I felt his fingers move away. I watched him turn his back. I smelt the bitter air. I tasted the blood from a suppressed cough. Then, I heard the silence.

It was only after an outstretched hand presented me with a crisp white tissue that I realised there were solid tears running away from my eyes.

"Don't you dare feel bad." Dina wrapped me in her arms, "There was nothing to soften the blow."

"How can I not feel bad?" I spluttered,  "All I've done is screw this entire friendship group up. Why do I keep ruining everything?"

"How can you have stopped him from having feelings?"

I shook my head, "All this time I've been so narrow minded. I can't begin to think of how he's felt."

"He chose to be around you." Dina shook me, trying to dissipate my angst, "Even when he ignores his feelings, you've both had good memories together."

"I can't see this in a positive light at all." Memories were flooding through me, and each one only highlighted how inexplicitely caring he had been to my attrocious self.

"He probably feels humiliated, and I can guarantee you that it won't feel like that forever. Give him some time."

"I'm not even worth it," meeting my best friends' eyes I brushed away the drops, "I'm so toxic."

"What the hell are you on about?" She threw her fierce arms on her hips, "Stop exaggerating."

"It's not just being ignorant to him. For the last few weeks I literally abandoned being hopeful about my mums' motives, I thought she was with men."

"But she wasn't." Dina inferred, whispering.

"She was working overtime," looking back at her, my eyes had brimmed with new tears, "For me."

"Oh Av," Her sigh dragged me into a hug as I wrestled to overcome my guilty conscience, "How were you to know better? You're adjusting to all these new things, and still taking care of yourself."

"Why did Jesse even say that? He knew, and used Davis's feelings to boost his ego. Is that what I am? I never saw him in such a bad light until I surrendered to my supposed feelings. Am I just another couple rows of his Instagram before he decides on a new theme?"

My change of topics transferred in a blur, stimulating the perception of how I couldn't decide which problem was worse. Endorsed in all these personal issues, they overlapped each other and demanded attention.

"You know what, there is absolutely no point in pondering about all of this." Dina grabbed my sweaty palm and dragged me to walk.

I resurrected to a thin smile at what came next in her familiar speech, "You're better off thinking about what to do next."

A/N: I wish I could follow that advice, but even someone ignoring my text annoys me. Am I the only one?

Wooooh, hello turn of events, poor Davis! He's a good fellow...or is he??  I'm updating quite frequently, (which is why I'm writing all night and have a dead phone when I wake up) in order to complete this during my longass holiday. (Plot twist, I'm not finished)

My literal dream is to publish a book. Also, artsy photography account on Instagram is Her.Scavenges if you wanna check out my random-ass posts.

This weirdo is out, x.