Rylie

"WHY'D YOU BAIL ON ME?" Teddy ducks her head into my office Monday morning, holding onto the door handle in one hand and the doorframe with the other.

Before I can answer my best friend, a pair of arms wrap around her waist and yank her back into the hallway. Her screech is followed by giggling and a deep voice speaking softly. Teddy and Jensen appear in the doorway as he's stuffing a hat on over her braid and zipping her big, bulky coat up to her chin.

"It's cold, baby. Stop fighting me," Jensen scolds, winding a thick scarf around her neck.

Teddy allows her boyfriend to fuss over her and then shoves him down the hallway. Once she hears the click of his office door, she rips the scarf off and tosses it onto a chair. "He's ridiculous."

"He's Jensen." The guy is perpetually grumpy and only seems to brighten up for his girl, his weak spot.

"Seriously, though, Ry. Why'd you bail on me this morning?"

We always meet for breakfast Monday mornings at the Cozy Corner Café, one of two restaurants in our small town and the only one that serves breakfast, but after my strange weekend, I wasn't ready to word dump it all out on Teddy. I'm still trying to wrap my own head around it, and I'm not sure whether to come clean with Teddy or see if I can trick her. She'd be the ultimate litmus test: if I can't trick my best friend, I have no hope of tricking my parents.

"Long weekend. I slept too late." I open my laptop and click into my email. The workday technically started a few minutes ago, but everything at the Anderson Farm is chill. Jensen is by far the easiest boss I've ever worked for. He gives me complete autonomy since he'd rather not do any office work himself. It's kind of a humbling—stabilizing—thing to know someone has that much trust in you to not micromanage you.

I'm the single person that makes up the whole HR department at Anderson Farm. There isn't a need for more than me since it's a pretty small operation with roughly 25 employees, even less in the winter, our mostly "off-season," if it can really be described as such. Because of this, my job has a wider net, and I've soaked up other duties outside of my department as well. Since the farm is more of a destination spot than your typical small farm, there's always plenty to do—from seasonal activities, like a big fall festival complete with hay rides, pumpkin patch and a haunted house, to family-centered favorites, like Wood Fired Pizza nights, farmer's markets, apple picking, and even school field trips. There's not a lack of tasks to do here, even in the winter when we're only half-staffed. There's a big hill for snow tubing and sledding that's the most popular thing at the moment.

Look at me go on about a farm. If teenage Rylie could see me now, she'd be stunned and probably partly horrified. She always wanted bigger. A big city. A big job. A big, loud, bold life.

To see the Rylie of today living in a small country town working on a farm, teenage Rylie wouldn't believe it. But sometimes things break—almost my spirit, but not quite—and your life puts you in the same orbit as someone who sees you, really sees you, and a lightbulb moment changes the course of your life.

Teddy was that for me. In college my parents' demands and expectations nearly broke me, but I credit Teddy's friendship as my eye-opening epiphany. Relationships aren't transactional. And appearances are superficial. And loyalty is a real thing. And, most importantly, the real Rylie is pretty fucking badass. Unconditional acceptance is a real bitch, she'll kick some sense right into you, allowing you to sever ties with the toxicity.

Well, at least partially sever the ties. I mean, I am faking an engagement after all. So maybe I wasn't completely accurate in my above description. But that Rylie? She's goals. The current one?

She's a work-in-progress.

After Teddy leaves to tend to the petting zoo animals, the role she fell into on accident and never looked back, I tuck into work, trying to busy my mind and distract myself from the needling thoughts that kept me awake last night. Alone in my cold bed, my mind wandered to sharing the hotel bed with Finn. Finn, a guy who completely crept up on me in the strangest way this weekend. Instead of the goofy man-child I know him to be, he morphed into this charismatic version of himself. Still goofy but in a charming and even sexy way.

There, I said it. Finn Anderson was sexy in the most surprising way.

Sure, I've never denied his attractiveness. Hidden under his terrible clothes and attention-seeking personality, is a handsome face. Those blue eyes accentuated with the longest, darkest lashes and hooded by dark brows. That mouth with those temptingly kissable pink lips that almost make me want to break my own rule—almost, but not going to happen. Ever. And those damn dimples. Come on with those dimples! I swear he flashes them on demand, knowing just how to use them. Probably practices it in the mirror.

Shit, I've lost my train of thought. I need to just stop thinking about the boy. Why is he stuck in my head like this? I shake my head like I need to literally remove the thoughts by force as I refocus on my full inbox.

A knock on my door followed by a deep voice greets me as the door creaks open, "Hey, wifey." I look up to see the flopping hair of Finn himself, the dimples denting his cheeks.

"Shhh!" I whisper-shout as I jump from my chair and run across the office to yank him inside and slam the door shut behind him. With a hand over his mouth, I whisper, "Shut your mouth, Finnegan."

He laughs, his hot breath warming the palm of my hand. I remove it, wiping it on the skirt of my blue dress, catching him glide his eyes over my legs. His blatant ogling should be creepy, but somehow he makes it flattering. I can't lie and pretend I don't kind of like it. He makes me feel desired; who wouldn't eat that up?

"Still can't dress properly for the weather. You learn lessons the hard way, huh?" He sinks into the chair in front of my desk, and when I stay rooted to the spot, he reaches over to snatch my wrist and pulls me between his legs, settling my butt behind me on the desk.

See, it moves like this that rattle me. He's so confusing. He's the opposite of what I go for, yet my heart races when he openly shows his attraction to me. Even when I continually shoot him down, he's tenacious in his pursuit.

I cross my legs knowing damn well he's going to look, if not touch. "I can wear whatever I want."

He leans forward on the chair, resting his chin on my knee. His hands circle my ankles, slowly sliding up my calves and stopping just under my knees. His hair falls across his eye, and I brush it away, causing Finn to abruptly sit up straight and grab my hand tightly in his. "Where's your ring, Rylie?" he demands in a deep voice. All traces of the dimples are gone; and instead I'm greeted with a clenched jaw and narrowed gray eyes. I've come to realize that his eyes turn to a dull gray when he's upset.

I stand, caught between his legs. "It's at home. I didn't know I was supposed to wear it yet. We haven't discussed the plan. Made a timeline or whatever. I mean, it's not official until we announce it so you have time to back out yet."

He rises to his full height, and I lift my head to look at him. He brushes my hair over my shoulder, leaving his hand in my hair. "I'm not backing out, Wyatt. So if you want to, you're going to have to call it yourself."

"I don't want to call it. I just want to have a plan." I sit back down on the edge of the desk and Finn takes his seat again, his hands falling onto my knees. I decidedly ignore the little ruffle of baby butterfly wings fluttering in my tummy when his thumbs rub circles on my bare skin.

"So let's make a plan." He slowly releases the dimples in an appearing and disappearing act until a big smile finally settles on his face.

I palm his face and push it away from me in search of a little even-footing. "Put the dimples away, Finnegan." Then I cross my legs and watch his eyes immediately dart to them.

"Then you have to put your legs away. No, don't," he yells, firmly planting his hands on my calves to keep them in place when I try to uncross them. And I laugh. He's just so damn ridiculous. And easy.

"So this plan? What do you need from me? Do we need to create an extensive backstory? Maybe a lengthy explanation of our epic love story?"

"Maybe less is more," I say, rolling my eyes. Knowing Finn, he'd concoct some over the top story.

"Fine. You're no fun, by the way." He pulls off his stocking hat, revealing the mop of hair atop his head. Without thought, I lean forward and comb my hands through it in a wasted effort to tame it. I laugh when the strands resist containment, falling back into disarray.

"We just need it to be believable enough so that when my parents come to claim their proof—which they will, believe me—there's no evidence this is a big fat sham."

"What kind of proof are we talking, honey?" He bobs his eyebrows at me in a manner he probably thinks is sexy, but it just makes me laugh.

"Not that kind of proof. Just us..." I wave my hand around, trying to conjure the image of a happy couple frolicking about town.

"Doing couple things...?" he supplies, a slow grin overtaking his face in a way that makes me believe he's making fun of me.

I narrow my eyes at him. "Yes, couple things." And he laughs. The man-child laughs at me.

"And for how long exactly do we need to be 'believable enough' out and about doing 'couple things'?" He does air quotes, and now I know he's making fun of me.

I make to stand up, but he prevents me with his large palms on my thighs. "How long, Wy?"

Shrugging, I reply, "However long it takes, I guess."

He considers this for asecond, a rare look of seriousness sharpening the edges of his face, and forthe briefest moment, I almost miss the way his eyes twinkle withmischievousness. But it's short-lived: seconds later he shatters that illusion. "Christmas," he says, resting his chin on my knee again. "You'll go to Christmas with me, and we'll announce it there."

Raking my hands through his hair, I push his head back a bit so I can see him better. "That is the stupidest idea you've ever had."

-

IT REALLY IS THE STUPIDEST PLAN, and I don't know how he talked me into it. But here we are in the Anderson kitchen on Christmas Day with all the siblings assembled. Finn just barged into the room on the tail of Jensen and Teddy's engagement announcement and, without any lead up or context, he holds up my left hand, presenting the ring to the family.

There's a pregnant pause as the group tries to unravel the unexpected news. Teddy is the first to break.

"Ummm....start explaining," she says, yanking me away from Finn. "What the hell is that thing doing on your hand? Tell me it isn't from him."

"Awwww, Teddy," Finn says with mock hurt, not relinquishing his old on me. "Is that any way to talk to your soon-to-be best-friend-in-law."

One glance at my fake fiancé tells me he's enjoying the show, and I resist the urge to kick him in the shin. Why must he be the way he is?

"That is not a thing," Teddy says, shoving Finn away and stealing me back away from him. They each have one of my arms and seem to be playing some weird version of tug-of-war.

"Ry," Teddy hisses. "What the fuck?"

"Surprise!" I screech, having no choice but to play along. "We're getting married!"

With that announcement, Teddy relinquishes her hold on me, and Finn tugs me back into his side. I go up on my tiptoes to whisper in his ear, "Do not under any circumstances leave me alone with Teddy."

He glances down at me, surprise written across his face, and he dips his head like he's going to nuzzle my neck. "You think she's onto us?"

That's an understatement. I knew fooling my best friend would be next to impossible, but I was hoping she'd buy it at least a little bit. Judging by the way she's eyeing me with equal parts confusion and irritation, it's safe to assume she most definitely is onto us.

"Don't worry about her," Finn whispers, his breath skimming across the skin of my neck. "Teddy's good people. She'll keep our secret."

I sigh, allowing Finn to support my weight, as I avoid eye contact with the one and only person I truly care about. Of course, Finn is right. Teddy has proven over the years to be the most trustworthy, loyal friend. I'd just rather not put her in the position where she needs to keep such a big secret.

The noise level in the kitchen ratchets up as everyone returns to their individual conversations, and I survey the scene as the quasi-outsider that I am. There's Jensen, the oldest sibling, with his new fiancé tucked in at his side. Sutton, the youngest sister, is examining Teddy's ring, my best friend's face lit up as she explains the proposal. I feel a twinge of emotions when I realize I haven't heard the story yet. Typically, we tell each other everything the minute it happens. But here we are, both engaged and neither of us knows anything about either scenario. Whereas mine is a farce, hers is a true love story. The sickening kind that we all dream about as kids.

Kelly sidles up next to his girlfriend, Sutton. That was a whole thing with Kelly being Jensen's childhood best friend and having been issued a very specific rule to stay away from his sisters. Sutton is Jensen's only biological sibling. The remaining three Andersons are stepsiblings: the twins, Finn and Charlie, and their sister, Vivi.

Then there are the two extras, as I like to refer to them: JJ and Sully. JJ is a cousin on Jensen's deceased mother's side, who lived with the Andersons on and off throughout her whole life when her mom would drop her off and then not bother picking her up again for days, weeks, even months at a time. Sully is the foster brother that came to live with them much later in life, long after the scars of his childhood floating from one bad situation to another affected his outlook on life. He's a complete enigma I've never been able to unravel.

The parents, Ike and Maxine, remarried a few years after Ike's first wife passed away, blending the two families into this loud, dysfunctional unit. With me growing up as an only child in a very strict, unloving family, the Andersons home always feels like a foreign concept you grow up seeing on tv—completely fictional and unattainable. I find myself observing every little detail, filing it away to puzzle over later.

Although my life has been inadvertently woven with the Anderson's because of being friends with Teddy and working on their family farm, this is my first holiday with them. It's impossible not to notice the differences. My family treats every holiday like another excuse to show off, inviting the important people of the moment, and sparing no expense to present ourselves in a certain way—prominent, important, wealthy, successful...you get it. They're snobby and pretentious and everything I absolutely detest.

The Andersons, though? They don't hire caterers and decorators and pick out the most expensive clothes to maintain a certain appearance. Instead, they each bring food to share and wear comfortable or festive clothing. I snicker at Sutton's hideous ugly sweater that boasts "Meowy Christmas" in glittery red letters atop a cat wearing a Santa hat. She wouldn't be allowed at the Foss Christmas, not even as hired help, wearing that thing.

Sutton catches my eye from across the room and shimmies her way out of Kelly's arms, making a detour at the island covered in a random display of food. After pouring champagne and a splash of orange juice into a flute, she brings it to me, offering it with a coy smile.

"Thought you could use this," she says in a lowered voice.

I take the glass, downing half the contents in a single go. "Thanks," I say, wiping the moisture off my upper lip.

"Finn, huh?"

My fake fiancé has wandered over to the fridge, rooting around for something. "Why not Finn?"

She levels me with a knowing look. "You've always said he couldn't handle you."

I laugh despite myself because it's true. "Yeah, well, maybe I still think he can't."

She leans in closer to me and whispers, "You knew about me and Kelly and kept it a secret, so I can repay the favor if you ever want to spill."

I try to hide my surprise from her statement because if we can't even fool Sutton, do we have any luck at all convincing my parents?

"Nothing to spill," I say before taking another drink, emptying the glass.

Sutton laughs, taking the glass from me. "I'll try to keep these coming." And true to her word, Sutton never allows me to go too long with an empty champagne flute, my little mimosa elf.

Later, as the day is winding down, I'm sitting alone on a couch in the living room, a football game muted on the tv and wrapping paper spilling out of garbage bags from the spectacle that was gift-opening at the Anderson's. Finn wandered off a few minutes ago, and I feel a bit awkward in his absence. I finger the ring I slipped on this morning to play the ruse of his fiancé, and now I find myself studying it. It definitely won't meet my parents' snooty standards, and that little rebellion feels oh-so-good.

When I finally returned home Sunday afternoon after being snowed in in Maybury, I immediately stashed the ring away in my jewelry box. I'd like to pretend I hadn't seen it again until this morning when I pulled it back out, but I've sneaked a peek a few times over the week. I even tried it on once, reluctantly admiring it. It's just so pretty. I can't help but be drawn to it a little bit.

When Finn pulled up to the pawn shop, I wasn't expecting to walk out with a ring I actually liked. I was envisioning something much more traditional, but somehow he seemed to know that wasn't what I'd want and he was able to find the only one there I would have picked out for myself.

Wearing it now is confusing. It represents something fake; and I didn't expect to feel so awful about lying to the people that welcomed me into their tight circle all those years ago when I moved here with Teddy. Also, I suspect I might like seeing it on my finger a bit too much. For some inexplicable reason, it gives me these warm, gooey feelings. It's irritating me, though, because it feels much too close to a loss of control, and that's something I've never, ever allowed. I don't want to lose myself in someone, not after struggling to take control back from my parents, especially not when the someone is Finn.

He has barely left my side today after I whisper-pleaded that he not leave me alone with Teddy. Now he's standing in the wide doorway that separates the kitchen and living room with JJ and Sutton, and judging by their body language, he just said something mildly offensive that they're trying not to laugh about. He's good for that: toeing the line between humorous and offensive.

I continue to finger the ring while I watch the scene, not noticing Teddy sneak her way in, settling herself next to me on the couch, until she whispers, "I know this isn't real, but I just can't figure out the scheme. Obviously, you conned him into it, so I'm guessing it's something to do with your lovely parents. Am I getting warm?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I deny, refusing to look her in the eye. Just then, Finn looks over, his eyes widening when he sees who's sitting next to me. He leaves the girls mid-conversation and crosses the room, shimmying his body until he's wedged his way between me and Teddy.

"Teddy, Teddy, Teddy," he tsks. "I hope you're not harassing my fiancé." He slings his arm around my shoulders, bringing my body in close to his in a protective shield I try not to dwell on since the warm, foreign buzzing feels a little bit too good.