I didn't go to the hospital yesterday because Toma had a day off. His schedule was crazy like that; a 48-hour shift then 24 hours off or just basically whenever he was needed. The staff was running a bit low lately, and some of that had to do with the current times. Life was becoming too dangerous to invest years of your life into studying medicine, getting a degree, and joining a practice, especially when a ghoul could kill you any day. So the schools weren't cranking out enough doctors, so Toma was being overworked, so I was basically a permanent, non-diagnosed resident of the hospital.
So I didn't have time to go to clubs or school activities, so I didn't have any close friends, so I was up late and back up again early and always behind on my studies and never really here or there or much of anywhere.
I was a ghost.
I'm not really sure how much Toma understand about that. He had first gotten his current job a few years back.

I opened the car door and got in, sliding my backpack off my shoulder and to the floor of the car while simultaneously buckling my seat belt, but once I was ready, Toma didn't move.
"Toma? Is something wrong?" I asked, looking over at him with concern.
He just kept his hands on the wheel, staring straight ahead. A car behind up started beeping its horn.
"I got the job. I'm officially a doctor now," he said, his voice flat.
"Well...that's great, isn't it?" I replied, still confused about why that was bad. "You've worked really hard for this. You deserve it."
"I'm going to have to work shit hours," he said as though I'd never spoken. "And I don't have time to drop you off at home, not that I feel safe leaving you there alone. So I'm going to have to take you to work with me whenever I have a shift."
"That's fine, Toma. I don't mind, really."
"You'll have to quit your clubs. No more hanging out with kids after school."
I had to pause to think about that for a second before nodding. "Okay. I can do that." I'd never been super involved anyway.
"...I'm sorry, (y/n)."

And that was that. Toma had murmured a quiet apology before shifting the gear into drive and taking us to the hospital for the first of many times.
At first it was fun. Endless hallways to explore, new strangers replacing old strangers every minute of every day. It was like living in an airport terminal but being invisible and waiting for a flight that wasn't ever going to come.
But then I got tired of exploring hallways I had already memorized. I got bored of the new faces that all started to blend together. I was tired of waiting for my flight, and all I wanted to do was go home.
Home.
The bell rang and I woke up. I got out of my chair and headed to my locker. I put away all of my textbooks because I knew I wouldn't be using them to study later tonight. Then, with a lighter backpack, I headed toward the back of the school and out the doors to the parking lot, spotting Toma's car right away. I got in the passenger door, let my backpack slide to the floor, and tapped Toma on the shoulder. "Toma?"
He opened his eyes, took a moment to process, nodded curtly, and put the car into drive. I don't quite know when his car became his second bed, but it worried me. If I weren't in the car, would Toma fall asleep while driving? What would happen if he got in an accident? Not just to him, but to me?
I don't have anyone else.
You're Toma's little sister, right?
Without Toma, I'm nobody.
I looked out the window of the car, at all the people walking slowly. Were they going somewhere? Or were they leaving somewhere?
These days, even when I'm moving, I'm not going anywhere.
We got to the hospital half an hour later. When we got out of the car, Toma said a quick goodbye, told me his shift ended at 10 (which really meant any time after 12), and rushed inside to throw on scrubs and get to work.
I walked more slowly, meandering in.
Sometimes, I played this game where I waited for a family to walk in, and I would slip in behind them and pretend to be their second or third of umpteenth child, unbeknownst to them.
But, like all the other games I used to play, I grew tired of that one rather quickly.
Still, I played it on occasion, mostly when I missed them the most. So today, I waited a few minutes until I saw a woman with a messy bun get out of the car and collect her four children, a baby balancing on the father's hip.
I walked slowly until I was just a few paces behind them. When we got to the doors, however, the father turned and startled, noticing me and indubitably wondering how he hadn't noticed me before. "I'm sorry, are you looking for someone?"
I walked past him, ignoring him, because I'd lost the game today. Just another family I'd been thrown out of.
Are you looking for someone?
Faces rose in my mind. Mom. Dad. Toma. Unbidden, Hide.
I'm looking for my friend. His name is Kaneki Ken. Have you seen him?
I stopped.
Are you looking for someone?
Yes, yes I was.
I went back to the unused wing and put my hand on the door.
Then I pulled.