PART 8.. fanficparker

The noise of the clinging cutlery was annoying for everyone, except you. Because you were the one making it. Just like one can't always smell their own perfume.

Since the second you sat on the dining table, your head was low, concentrated on the plate while your forks and spoons battled with the food. You could feel the intense gaze of your mom and Harrison on you as if you were wearing a garland made of fairy lights.

"What?!" You quipped looking at your mom, almost sounding like you were ready to break a bone. Your mom looked at you and nodded.

"You aren't eating..."

That's when you noticed you were just playing with your food instead of really eating it. But was it entirely your fault? How would you stop your brain playing events of the past and predicting a terrible future based on your past shitty life? It all started with Harrison inviting you as a date to his friend's party. And then the kissing prank and now kissing. Real kissing. Maybe not that real... But at least kissing.

"Are you okay?" Your mom asked again when you failed to produce a response to the earlier question. Your mind lost in nothing but intermingling thoughts.

"Umm... Yeah. Just wasn't hungry..."

Lie.

You didn't eat for the past nine hours and now you were telling that you weren't hungry and were already giving her a fake smile.

"Is something happened between you both?" Another question. And you noticed Harrison's concerned eyes on you. Then you noticed he merely had eaten a bite.

"No. We are fine." You were surprised because of the question.

"But you took the farthest seat from him? I mean you guys were just... having a moment and now?"

Oh god.

"No, nothing happened between---" Before you could complete your statement, Harrison had interrupted you.

"Yeah."

What. The. Actual. Fuck. Did he just say yes? You were re-thinking about your decision of trusting him once again. Your hand rested on your forehead as your gaze fell on the plate again.

"Actually, I left Y/n's laptop charger on our flight, so she's a little pissed at me."

Wow. Your head shot up, your eyes meeting Harrison's and his eyebrows did a weird dance. Yeah, Harrison Osterfield chose to do this weird eyebrow dance instead of normal human winking. Especially when he couldn't make a single eyebrow lift at once. Weirdo. But it was cute. And smart. And you couldn't ignore the little crumbling in your stomach.

"Oh god Y/n. Come on. You can't be mad at Harrison for such a little thing. He's such a sweetheart, darling." Your mom said smiling at you and then at Harrison as if he was her long-lost son.

Wow. What magic had he done on my mom?

Nevertheless, he was good at story making or lying for that matter. And from his weird eyebrow dance, you felt the need to play along. You cleared your throat in an attempt to grab everyone's attention, well basically your mum's.

"I just bought it this week." You tried to get into the character and accordingly rolled your eyes.

"I said sorry." Harrison looked at you, a little smirk playing on his face and then at your mom switching the smirk with a baby pout. That signature Harrison Osterfield pout.

"Y/n come on. Don't be childish. You can take my laptop charger." Your mom formed a pout too. You wanted to laugh at this point but tried hard not to give in. Dramatically you sighed.

"Okay, okay. Fine."

And your mom and Harrison gave each other a high five. For some reason, there was a little smile on your face while you ate the rest of your dinner. You end up talking to Harrison and your mom more than you expected. Not for a single minute on the dining table, it felt your mom and Harrison had just met. You never thought he could be this friendly. Never in a million years. After dinner, your jet lag started to kick in really hard and when you were about to go to your bedroom your dad made his way home.

"Look who's finally here!" He said engulfing you in a big teddy hug. After some banter and telling him about Harrison your dad proposed to talk to him in private. Your jet lag was already long forgotten now. You were sitting on the edge on your bed as your stomach crumbled. It was a different kind of crumbling than you felt at the dining table with Harrison. That was... Were you blushing there? Because of him? Oh god.

I shouldn't overthink. You reminded yourself. Right now you were terrified. But why were you terrified? Even if something goes wrong, Harrison will be the only one subjected to your dad's anger... The sound of your bedroom door opening and closing slowly pulled you out of the trance of anxious thoughts you were battling with. You looked at Harrison, his lips formed a thin line.

"You didn't ruin anything, right?" You asked trying your best to be optimistic. He shoved his hand in his pocket and leaned to the side on his heels.

"Yeah. Everything is fine." He let out a shaky breath. You still stared at him.

"Chill! Everything is cool!" He repeated, now with a confident expression. This time you let out the breath you were holding. But it was the breath of relief.

"I actually... hmm..." He said looking at you and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah?"

"I know my words don't mean a lot to you especially apologies but still... I am sorry Y/n. I know you are fed up---" He was speaking like a toddler, trying to confess he broke his mom's favourite vase. Anyways, he was speaking too slow for your curiosity, making you cut him again.

"Sorry for what?" Anxiety started to reappear in your gut. Your thoughts wandered back to the idea of him ruining something in the private conversation with your dad.

"I shouldn't have caught you off guard. You know the kiss. I didn't even ask for your consent. My mind was really blurred out but please I am sorry. I swear I won't do anything like this ever again..." He kept mumbling apologies.

"Thank you."

He was the one caught off guard by your words this time. He stopped mumbling apologies and looked at you as if you were an alien.

"Stop looking at me like that. But really, I was expecting you to ruin things but you actually helped me. I even didn't ask for your consent before assigning you the character of my fake boyfriend. So, we are even." You shrugged your shoulders and he quirked his eyebrows at your words.

"Stop being sceptical. I am just trying to do what I promised." You said making his lips twist in a much more sceptical manner.

"Oh god. First, take a seat. It looks like you'll faint." You shifted a little, giving him space to sit beside you. He nodded taking a seat, eyes on you, waiting for you to explain.

"Remember I told we will keep it professional and not personal."

He nodded remembering.

"So, I think... I mean I will try not to be aggressive or passive-aggressive with you taking into account our past issues." You said fidgeting with your hands and giving him side glances occasionally ensuring he was listening.

"So, what do we do?" He asked looking at you like you were his professor.

"I have read it in books and seen in movies. They make rules and get to know each other and things get super smooth and no one gets to know if anything's fake... So..." You said releasing a breath you held to get your embarrassing idea out as fast as you could. The looks he was giving you were definitely not making anything better. You were sure your face was as hot as the hellfire. After all, you just blurted out you nerdiness and trope preferences in a breath.

Congrats Y/n.

"It's a good idea." You were sure you heard that but still for confirmation and double confirmation, you had to ask this.

"What?" You asked pretending to be dumbfounded.

"I said it's a good idea." He repeated but this time with a small smile.

"Yea-yeah tha-thanks," You said tucking a stray hair strand behind your ear and looking at your thighs.

"Like we won't break any rule. And there's no way we'll ever catch feelings. At least from my side," You clenched your eyes shut as soon as this ridiculous sentence popped out of your lips. First it was rude and second embarrassing. You wished you could sink into the ground at this moment.

Come on Earth, swallow me!!

"Yeah but..." Harrison said gulping making you look up at him. It seemed like he was thinking really deep and there were chances he didn't care for what you said accidentally. Thinking what you hoped, you straightened your posture and cleared your throat quietly.

"What?" This time you tried your best not to make anything awkward.

"I mean if everything goes well you will forgive me completely. Like no past grudges, no prejudices, you won't be judgemental about me, right?" He was the one fidgeting with his hands now while he looked at you like a puppy dog, eyes shiny, filled with hope. But definitely, you were confused.

Why was he so desperate of you to forgive him? It wasn't a big issue, right? At least for you...

"I don't understand?" You asked calmly. The calmness in your voice made him feel you were ready to listen this time without arguing. At least he hopes so.

"Let me explain," He turned more towards you so that you both were face to face with each other. With a small sigh and hands clasped together as he started, "As per our previous conversation, it's clear that you have an image in your head about me. You think I am an arrogant, snob, fuckboy who doesn't care about anyone except himself. I mean I don't blame you, I definitely deserve it... But..." He paused for a bit to ensure you were still listening and to his surprise you were.

"But I-I am not like this. It was a bad time. It's not an excuse. I am a changed person. Believe me!"

"Are you okay?" You asked concerned.

"Ha--Huh?"

You placed your hand over his hand, stroking his cold-clammy skin softly with your fingers.

"You are shivering and sweating. Is everything alright?"

"Huh," He blinked at least three times before saying, "Yes." After which he pulled away his hand from underneath yours.

"I-I need to use the washroom," He said, instantly getting up and getting inside the washroom. The door closed before you could ask anything else from him. You sat by the headboard, resting your back.

The Harrison Osterfield you met today was different from the one you knew. He was much more complicated than you ever thought he was. Just before this day, your complete idea of his image was a snob who liked to make people around him feel they were nothing in front of him. And a fuckboy. You have had heard gossips from your colleagues taking about how casual he goes out with a different girl almost every week. Or how he doesn't care about their feelings. And personally, you knew he didn't care about what he made you feel once & broke everything in a moment for a stupid prank. For him it was just a prank but you know for you it was him telling how you weren't worthy to be with him. A boy who spends nights with a different girl regularly couldn't even kiss you. How low you felt at that moment.

No, you weren't a girl into one night stands not at all. But still, it made you question your own skin. And then him being a condescending pain in the ass?! What explained this behaviour of him? And really for your spectacles? How many people in your workplace wore them? And to be honest you found them cool... His behaviour made you feel as if you looked like a cartoon in them. And now he was wearing specs too. Does he think you were the only one looking like an idiot? Was he trying to tell you that you were ugly? Were you ugly? Intentionally or unintentionally he made you feel ugly in some way. Made you feel like you weren't good enough. And deleting Simon's messages for you? It's true Simon didn't turn out to be a great guy but was Harrison jealous? No, you never felt he was jealous that you were going to date someone else. For you, it seemed like a kind of jealousy where he thought you weren't worthy of finding love or even getting a date. Maybe it was just your thought but still, he was the one making you feel this way.

But then... That date... Yeah, it was supposed to be with Simon. But ultimately you ended up spending the evening with him. And it was a good evening. You never felt you could feel so comfortable in a conversation with someone than him. But then the next day the disaster of the messages being revealed. You even slapped him across the face. And now...

Who could have thought you'll find him on a random vacation far away from England? Was it fate? Who could have thought Harrison Osterfield can get nervous? He can be nice, sweet and supportive? Who could have thought he can be so... Vulnerable? Why were you replaying every single moment you had with him? Why were you thinking so much about him? That was the actual problem. Harrison Osterfield always made you feel. Feel so much. So much more than anyone else ever had or can ever... No matter a lot of times the feelings were sad or bad but still... No one should be able to make you feel this way... He was different. He was definitely different and much more complicated than anyone you knew. For what you understood till now was that he was a closed book. But were you willing to open & read this book?

Here he was coming out from the bathroom, wiping his face with a towel. He was faking this dating thing for you. He helped you reach home safely. What will he gain in this after all? He just wanted you to forgive him, forget his past actions. How hard can it be? He was really putting efforts. You never considered anyone putting efforts to prove things like this to anyone.

"You alright now?" You asked as he walked in your direction, dropping the towel on the stool.

"Yeah," He breathed out, much more naturally.

"Good," You said as he took a seat near your feet. You decided whether you should give him a proper chance or not. Not the external fake dating chance but an internal much deeper chance. A chance where you could provide him with the opportunity to restructure his image in your mind.

"So what rules should we set?" You asked, smiling.

Yes, you were going to give him that chance.

(Plz, tell me what you'll feel about this chapter?)

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Words count: 2.6k words
Published on: 20 Nov'19