Maggie
I almost cry with joy when I hear the words I have been waiting to hear for the six hours I have been at work;

"Last drinks darlins." Gina scrapes in her baritone voice, tapping on the bar with a shot glass, effectively startling one of our regulars, Sid, who has fallen asleep on the stalls yet again.

It's a nightly ritual. He can be found asleep at the bar or in the toilets, passed out drunk religiously, though I'm not entirely sure which is more sanitary. Either way, he is a staple for my nights at work. It's always the same. Each one plays their part, each pivotal in the epic failure of my daily existence.

As I glance around I note all of the different pieces. Gina and I at the bar. The girls are on the pole or doing things in private rooms I pretend to not know about. Able is by the door keeping watch and Sax is in his office. Sid is asleep by the time we want to close. The other regular customers are in their respective constant positions . It's the raw comfort I'm sadly accustomed to by now.

"Yeah yeah." Sid manages in response to the second bang, this one closer to his head which has him dragging his sorry ass off the worse for wear wooden stalls and hauling his good leg towards the exit.

"See y'all tomorrow ladies." He is able to drawl out as he all but pours out the doors.

"Get home safe Sid." Able says dryly, no emotion visible but I know he means well, as he shuts the door and bolts it before hitting main breaker for the lights.

If the place looks average in the dark, there is no mistaking the regular shit hole it actually is when the lights come on.

The walls still bare some of the original silver glitter from when Diamanté opened twenty plus years ago but that is the only glamour still standing. The first adult content bar in San Theresa, it caused quite the stir.
It's not a huge space but what it lacks in dimension it packs a punch for in entertainment.
For this one horse town anyway. Three lack lustre girls spinning around poles or rubbing up on someone's knees isn't exactly the highlights of the adult entertainment industry but for Spitfire San Theresa, it's the best that it gets.

The staff are kind, its regular pay check and the tips are good. That's all that matters to me.

On a night when the basketball is on in San Antonio, just a short hour drive away on the new stretch of highway,the tips are even better. And now that local golden boy turned pro , Ace McLaren has returned home and landed a spot on the team, the place is busier than ever with equally eager and horny stopovers on the way back from the games.

And without any part of this dive I call work,  I would be screwed. We all would. So I turn in, push my meagre assets up and get to work. I don't think. I don't fraternise with patrons. I just do my jib and leave.

It's become my motto of sorts. Four years and nothing has changed since my first night here.

"Close up your register Mags and I'll start checking the booths." Gina says but I'm already three steps ahead of her. Til counted and register balanced. I want to get out of the smoked filled haze and back to my guy as fast as I can.

Six nights a week of this shit is six too many in my opinion. But it's a means to some sort of end. I just haven't figured out what that is yet.

Any day now.

I make my way to the back office, knocking before I enter. Habit has me being careful now, since the one and only time I just barged in and found the owner and one of the new dancers in a compromising position.

Or two.

It wasn't so bad until Sax found out her ID was fake and the twenty one year old he was banging against his desk became the eighteen year old he was banging against his desk.

Didn't stop him the next time though. He just locked his door, slipped me an extra few hundred in tips and didn't say anything further about it.
My conscience however wavered, but Gina said Jessie initiated it all so I just let it be.

They don't pay me to get involved in the inner politics of this place. I expect I get paid more for that very reason.

Still, once you have experienced the sight of your fifty- plus and cordially robust bosses ass cheeks slap dang naked, you knock. You knock every damn time.

For my own sanity and the safety of my eyeballs.

As I hear Sax murmur a low "Come in" I still squint my eyes for safety before making my way over the small, cramped square room towards his mahogany desk.

"Would you look at that? Seems old Acey boy has himself some hoity toity new arm candy." He says, more to the tv on the wall than me. Still, I can't help but freeze up and surreptitiously glance at the screen when he mentions Ace.

How nice for him. Leading such a wonderful, dreams fulfilled, carefree life. Swanning about with a new actress or model every time his giant head graces the tv screen.
The very sound of his name sends chills racing down my spine. My soul even. On my worst nights, the ones where I can't sleep because it's all too much for me, I plan all of the ways that I will make him pay.

For all of it. For them. For me.

For him.

But the reality of me ever having a chance to face him head on is as likely as me making the NBA team alongside him. Zero to none.

He hasn't set foot in this town since he and his parents high tailed it out after the accident.
Cowards. Must be nice to be able to run from your problems, throwing cash over your shoulder like grains of salt, preying that it might change your luck.

There isn't enough salt in the world to change mine.

I don't think there is for him either. Leopards can't change their spots and assholes can't change their ways.

Sax brings his hands down heavy on his desk, shouting out obscenities about the game score, effectively waking me from my internal death plotting.

"Bloody useless bunch of posers." He screams, grabbing the til tray I'm still holding in my frozen outstretched hands and punching the balancing ticket numbers into his lap top.

"Great work tonight Mags, as always." He smiles kindly, unlocking the safe under his desk and counting out some notes before handing them to me, secured with an elastic band.

"Thanks boss. Same time tomorrow." I say over my shoulder as I make my way out of his office and down the thin dark corridor, making my way hastily to the staff slash change room.

"Ladies." I greet as I enter and squeeze past the two half dressed dancers, Gina and Sophie the private room attendant and head straight for my locker. I check my phone first, always, making sure that Lizzie has sent me all is well text. As long as I know my guy is ok, I can breathe and do what I need to do to get home to him safely.

I send a quick text to let her know I'm on my way home and throw the cheap battered phone into my back pack and slam the locker door shut.

"See you in a few hours girls." I offer as a quick goodbye to the still undressed women as they unwind from another riveting night on the poles and bars.

"See ya honey, take care of that guy of yours." Gina calls after me as I exit into the hallway again, this time heading for the exit and the comfort of the promise of home.

Able waits for me at his car, as he always does at the end of shift, come rain or shine. After seeing me catch the bus on my first night here he has officially become my personal chauffeur to and from work. No matter how many times I decline his offer.

He wouldn't take no for an answer then. And now, four years and many miles of friendship later, I'm glad he didn't.

As I approach the car, a simple older black Honda CR-V, he opens the door, ever the gentlemen and slams it shut behind me before rounding the back and getting into the drivers seat.

"Another night in paradise hey girlie." He says, jabbing me on the shoulder with a wicked grin adorning his soft wrinkled face as he kicks the car to life.

"Oh hell yeah. Aren't we the luckiest bitches this side of hell to be working here night after night? I know I personally could not imagine not slinging beers again and you, well, I know you just adore throwing ass hats out of the door for groping on the girls all the time. Who wouldn't be envious of us huh?" I play, wide eyes and a stupid overly large smile on my face.

"Exactly." He replies, shaking his head and fiddling with the radio.I let my smile drop, the effort it took almost exhausts me. Smiling for real is hard these days. For me anyway.

I stop his hand before he gets a chance to turn anything up, preferring the silence after a night of too -loud music.

"Head hurting again honey?" He asks, his eyes crinkling a little as he squints in my direction. Where are his glasses? He hates to wear them, says it shows his age but damned if he isn't half blind without them.

"Why haven't you got your glasses on?" I demand, changing the subject away from what's causing my headaches this time.

It's Jeb. Always Jeb. Able knows more than anyone, well, perhaps just as much as Lizzie how much I am
always worrying about Jeb.

"What aren't you telling me?" He counters as we make the last bend before I'm home. A few more minutes and I can cast my eyes on Jeb.
Then I can finally relax. For tonight.

I sigh, realising he isn't going to drop it until I spit it out. This man is more of a substitute father to Lizzie, Jeb, Courtney and I than anyone else in our lives. I swear that's why he still works security at the club. He could have retired years ago but I know he won't leave while Lizzie and I still work there. Its an unspoken agreement between the three of us. One goes, we all go.

"What's happening darlin. You tell me or I'm comin in to ask Lizzie, what's it going to be?" He says as we pull to a stop out side the crumbling apartment building I call home.

"Abe, I promise, I'ts nothing more than the usual. Right now, I just want to get inside and hug Jeb." I breathe out, my eyes pleading with him to let it go.

He lets out a huff but wears a small grin, letting me know that he will let this pass. For now.

"Alright darlin. Anything for you." He says with a warm smile and I lean in quickly to give his stubbly cheek a kiss.

"Thanks Abe. Love you." I say, throwing my bag on my shoulder and giving him a wink as I slam the door.

I knock on the bonnet as I head inside, pressing the buzzer for our apartment twice fast and once slow, our safe code, before Lizzie buzzes me up.

The main doors to the dirty foyer click open and I push hard on the jammed single door to make my way in, pausing to make sure the door locks again behind me before heading to the stairs.

No elevator here. We aren't that lucky.

Taking the steps two at a time, my breath remains steady as I count down the seconds until I can scan my eyes over Jeb's face. He makes everything worth it.

All the pain. All the bad and sad memories. All the drama.

It's all for him. I would do anything for him.

And I do. I do it all.

As I finally scale the last step and push through the door marked with half a scratched off numeral three, my heart is singing. A few more steps and I'm back with my other half. The better half of my soul. The only half of my soul.

Being with him is the only time I can truly breathe.

By the time I get to our door, Lizzie is standing with the door cracked open, warm cocoa in her hand and a lazy tired smile on her face.

She shoves the drink into my waiting hands as i tuck in past her, dumping my bag and heading immediately down the dim short hallway for the last door on the right. I sip on the like warm drink as I slonk silently into the room.

As I tip toe in, kicking off my shoes and placing the much on the bedside, I slide into bed with the warm body of Jeb curled up on one side of the double bed.

I take in his sleeping form. His dirty blonde curls sticking up in all directions. His impossibly long lashes that I know cover the most striking grey, very familiar eyes. 

As I snuggle in closer, his fingers seek me out in his sleep and I allow mine to interlock with his. I close my eyes and breathe in his scent.

Home. Jeb is my home. Everything I do is for him and he is worth it all.

I let my eyes take him in one more time before I finally allow them to close. I let his even breath sounds wash over me as I pray for sleep.

Laying here with Jeb in my arms is as close to heaven as I'll ever be.

He is the only good thing in my life.

He is my very reason to go on.