CHAPTER FIFTEEN.
the one with the day after.
warnings: thoughts glorifying death
oop 😳 it's lich rally a mess here

ASH WAS GROUNDED. Two weeks. It wasn't gonna stop her from sneaking out later, though.

The day after after you kill a child eating monster seems more intense than the day you did.

Ash feels kinda empty. Kinda numb. Like- like, what's the point? She might as well be invincible.

It was weird. But she supposed that the whole situation was.

When she'd gotten home, it had been 8 in the morning, and she was beaten and bruised but at least the bugs were gone. Her dad hasn't even questioned it, just grounded her and sent her to take a shower. She supposed that was fair.

Now she was lying in bed, a half eaten bowl of cereal on her side table and staring at the ceiling.

She was trying to wrap her head around all of this. Trying to wrap her head around the fact that she wasn't dead.

But maybe being dead would hurt less than this.

She had been staring at the ceiling for a while when she heard a knocking at her window. She blinked slowly and turned her head to face with he direction.

She smiled at the sight of a redhead waving at her.

She sat up slowly, realized she was only wearing pajamas, and then shrugged. It's Bev, she won't care.

She walked over to the window, unlocked it and opened it.

"Hey, Ash. Can I come in?" Bev asked, her voice a gentle hush that made Ashley's heart ache.

"A'course." Ashley said, moving back and giving Beverly room to crawl inside through the window, before Ash shut it.

"Nice place you got here." Bev said, whistling slowly.

"Mhm. How'd you find out where I live?"

"Bill told me." Bev said dismissively, and Ashley felt the familar spike of jealousy.

She ignored it.

"Right. What's up, Just Bev? Something wrong?" Ashley asked, sitting on her bed.

"No." Bev said immediately, "I just wanted to...check on you. Yesterday was..."

"I don't wanna talk about it." Ash interrupted, "I already can't stop thinking about it." She added carefully.

"Oh, I get that." Bev nodded, "It's all a lot."

They looked at eachother in silence for a few minutes, before Beverly was the first to speak up.

"The police are at my house." Bev said, sitting down next to Ashley.

"What? Why?" Ashley asked, panicking momentarily- like they'd been caught. Like they were gonna be in trouble for killing the demon clown.

"They're investigating my dad. They're gonna wanna talk to me." Beverly replied, "They've been there since last night. I didn't go home because I didn't feel like talking to them. Didn't feel like explaining."

"Where'd you go?" Ashley asked, swingiest her legs back and forth.

"Bill's. He let me stay the night-" Bev kept talking, but Ash could barely understand it over the jealousy, jealousy, jealousy.

"Ash?" Bev said, and Ashley blinked slowly and put on a smile.

"What was that?" Ashley asked bad Bev raised and eyebrow.

"I asked if I could stay for a bit." Beverly repeated, kicking her legs back and forth.

"Oh. Sure. But- Bev." Ashley said, moving her hand to rest on Beverly's leg, "You can't just run from the police for forever. They're gonna find you eventually. It's a small town."

"I know. I know." Bev said, setting her hand on Ash's, "But...God, I'm scared Ashley. More scared than I was with the clown." Beverly explained, closing her eyes tightly, "My dad- he just-"

"You don't have to explain anything, Bev." Ash interrupted.

"I want to, Ashley." Beverly said, opening her eyes. So Ash kept quiet and let Beverly do the explaining. "He's always been like this. He's always touched me. He's always manipulated me. And the other day I guess I snapped." Bev paused, wiped at her eyes with her palms. "I hurt him." Bev said slowly, "It felt wrong. I hurt him. How am I any better than he is?"

Ash immediately shook her head, "No, no, Bev, don't say that."

"It's true."

"It's not." Ash said, "Your dad's a monster, okay? He's no better than It was." She insisted, "I- dad's are supposed to love you. They're supposed to be there for you and he wasn't. He hurt you." She took a deep breath for before continuing, "You retaliated. Okay? You're not the same as him, you're brave. You're the bravest girl I know."

Bev closed her eyes, resting her head on Ashley's shoulders. Ash took her hand and squeezed it.

They sat like that for a while. Ashley didn't mind.

But good things come to an end.

"You're sure you don't want me to come with you?" Ashley asked for the millionth time, and Bev shook her head again.

"Ash, I'll be okay. Like you said, I've got to talk to them sometime." Beverly reassured, opening Ash's window. "I don't want to get you in trouble."

"If you're sure..." Ashley said, chewing on her bottom lip.

"I'm sure." Bev replied with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. She stepped outside the window and Ashley went over to close it. "Hey, Ash?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." Beverly said, her voice soft, "For everything."

Ashley smiled at the girl, "Of course, Beverly." I love you.

"I'll see you later." I love you.

"See you later."

I love you.

•••

She should've said it. It maybe would've ruined their friendship, but she should've said it. She should've just got it off her chest.

That's what she told Richie, at least.

Ashley wasn't dumb and neither was Rich. Richie saw the way Ash looked at Bev and Ash saw the way Richie looked at Eddie.

That's why when Ash showed up to Richie's house uninvited with tear stained cheeks and rambling about her, Richie didn't particularly question it. He let her inside and comforted her as well as a trash mouth could.

"You never dated him, did you?" Richie asked.

"No." Ash said immediately. "I wish, because then I'd be normal. Should've fallen for him instead of her."

"It's fine. You're gonna be fine, Ashley." Richie spoke, and Ashley wanted to believe him but she couldn't.

"I wish." She sighed from her place sprawled across Richie's bed. "It's stupid. I care more about her than the fact that I killed something yesterday."

"It's not stupid." Richie assured.

"Surprised you can be so serious for so long, Trashmouth." Ashley said instead of responding because Richie may be right and she didn't wanna face it.

Richie rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, I'm more than an annoying asshole."

"Hey." Ash said, frowning as she sat up on her elbows, resting her chin on her hands, "You're not annoying. I mean, you're an asshole, but'cha aren't annoying."

Richie raised an eyebrow as he looked at her.

"I'm serious, Richie." Ashley huffed. "You're not."

"Ash, I'm not dumb." Richie said, "They keep me around for comedic relief. Soon as I get serious, they ditch."

"Richie, babe, you don't actually believe that, do you?" Ashley asked and when Rich didn't respond, she continued. "C'mon. Rich. None of them hate you. They all love you."

"Really?" Richie snorted. "They'd all leave me given the chance."

"Richie. They wouldn't do that. Baby, we love you for you, not just your jokes. You could be as serious as Stanley is and it wouldn't matter because we love you."

"You don't love me the way you love her, though." Richie said, and Ashley knew he was using it as a way to change the topic. So she dropped it.

"I love her in a different but equal way." Ash said. "In a way that makes me hate her, too."

"You don't hate her." Rich said, shaking his head, "You love her. You've loved her since day one." He proclaimed, "The only one who doesn't know is her."

"I know. I know. But I don't want to." Ashley said, rubbing at her eyes. "I wanna be normal, Rich."

"Yeah." Richie said, and his voice sounded distant in a way that was out of character for him, "Me too, Ash."