"Honey, you didn't come down for dinner last night. What happened?" Aunty asked.

  
   "I-uhm fell asleep. Yeah, I fell asleep." I replied.

    "I heard you downstairs around 2am, did you sleep at all?" She asked with a concerned look as she settled on the bed.
      It's even better. I know you care but which one is the probing and interrogation early in the morning.
  

       "I did sleep around 2, woke up by 6 then you came around." I replied.

   "Oh. How about I take today off, for you and I, you know you can talk to me." She sighed.

   
     "Okay it's good. Thanks." I said slowly. Maybe it's time to actually talk to someone, to share my thoughts.

    "Get dressed and for breakfast." She kissed my forehead and went downstairs. I tried not to think about anything else as I started playing NF's change from my phone as I sang along.
  
 

Yeah, look
I don't do drugs, I'm addicted to the pain though
Yeah, I been on it for a while, dunno how to put it down
Gotta have it, it's a habit I'ma break though
I just wanna take a hit, keep sayin' I'ma quit
Keep sayin' I'ma leave, but I stay though
I just want a little fix, I don't wanna take a risk
I don't like it when I drift from the safe zone...
   

      I settled for a black crop top and white joggers as I slipped into my palm slippers. I switched to my earphones as I went downstairs. I'm famished.

  "Good morning Teni." He nodded as he finished his breakfast of bread, eggs and tea. He was all dressed up as if he was going out. "You going out?"

   "Isn't it obvious, Faithe?" He asked rhetorically.

     I sat back humming to "leave me alone" by NF of course.
    Painic-stricken, handle business, not a joke, yeah
Manners missing, travel different, no control, yeah
Time to listen, time to zip it, keep it closed
My description, highly gifted, take some notes, yeah
Lack of interest, why'd you visit? Hit the road, yeah ...

                  *  *   *
    Fine face😍: Hey babe, how are you?
   Me: I'm good. You?
  Fine face: I'm fantastic.

     "Faithe, it's time." Aunty Yemi called.

    Me: Lemme get back to you later.
    Fine face: okay😘😘

      "Uhm, I'm here. I sat on the couch.

   "Oh okay, can we listen to the song together?" She asks.
        Uhn

   "Okayyy." I put the phone on speaker.
      Hold up my balloons and cover up my face
I can feel them weighing on me every day
I should let 'em go and watch 'em float away
But I'm scared if I do, then I'll be more afraid
Tell them how I feel, but they don't want to change
Tell them how I feel, but they remain the same
Loosen up my grip, they say that's not okay
Quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet, ay, leave me alone! ....

     "Exactly. Let them go and watch them float away, but you're scared right?"

    "You read my thoughts aunty." I replied.

   
   "Sometimes, someone has to die before you know how much you did love the person. You know her kidney failed right?" She asked.

    "I know. I wish I could have done something about it. I
blaming myself for all that has happened. I mean, how could I not have seen it coming?  She was practically my best friend  and close to me. If only I had opened my eyes wide enough and looked closer, I would have known and probably done something. We had a fight, we didn't settle it. Before I knew it, she was gone. It upsets me more." I broke down at this point.

   "It's okay." She hugged me. "Go through this paper. She handed me an a4 sheet. "Lemme get a response soon."

    "Okay ma." I wiped my face.

  "Let's get some ice-cream." She said.
     I might be having a bad moment but hearing ice-cream will make it better.

                 *   *   *
  1. Intense feeling of distress when reminded of a tragic event, check
2. Extreme physical reactions to trauma, check.
3. Flashbacks and nightmares, check.
4. Loss of interest in life, check.
5. Feeling emotionally numb and detached, check
           She's good :)

     Clusters
1. Intrusion -flashbacks ✔️
                     - Triggers

-Intense memories✔️
2. Unpleasant changes- blaming self or others ✔️
-Feeling if isolation
-Unpleasant mood changes ✔️
3. Changes I reactivity- difficulty sleeping ✔️

  Hi hi hi. Phew. Longest chapter so far with 700+ words. I've never had a formal therapy session before, I hope I did well for the second part of therapy.
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