H A R R Y

I AM RELIEVED when lunch break comes around at the office; not because I was hungry, but also because I wanted the shared stuffy office all to myself. I order a smoked turkey sandwich from the café nearby and I eat it in the office. Instead of gutted, I feel relieved that almost nobody is around the stuffy office. I'm nearly tempted to take off my shoes and socks and stretch out on the desk. I don't do that, of course, because there are security cameras everywhere and nobody knows if they're even working, but they're scary nonetheless.

So, instead, I eat my sandwich in peace, filling the silence with music playl, a cup of apple juice in my other hand. As I'm listening, I can't help but notice my change of taste in music. I used to like people screaming and nearly damaging my eardrums and loud bass and drums beating relentlessly in the background. I used to like only Alternative and Rock, until I softened for a less hectic tone. And just then, I'm aware it started when I met her.

Overwhelmed by my discovery, I quickly shuffle my playlist again, but it changes to Better Together by Jack Johnson. It's ironic how it keeps going back to that bloody song, like the universe is laughing in my face, but I know it technically rounds back to it because it's the most played song in my music library. I rip the device from my ears, probably irritating them, but not caring enough to stop. I'm ready to rage out at myself, have yet another dramatic breakdown once again, but a movement catches my eye outside the glass doors of my shared office.

A group of serious men in suits were walking together in a cluster. Their expressions stoic, almost like they're robots-which I wouldn't doubt at this point. But what really grabs my attention is the middle man that stands out from the group, wearing a pair of saggy ripped jeans and a worn-out shirt. His attire-and frowning expression-was too easily different from all the people in the building that it made him clearly stand out.

I put down my sandwich and the half-empty glass of juice as I curiously watch them closer. The cluster of people were moving past my door to the other phase of the building. In the split second I got to take a look at the guy in the middle, that seemed to be escorted or protected, I almost stopped breathing. Same dark eyes, same complexion, same greasy fucking hair.

The guy was too goddamn familiar for me not to notice that he's the one Luella had run to his arms the last time I saw her.

He's the guy that she chose after me-I'm guessing he's the first one after me. He's the guy that changed her. His street-thug look irritates me just by looking at him, my blood gaining a ridiculous rise in temperature.

That's not what peaked my interest, though. The fact that he's here, at AOT Enterprises, with a bunch of guards surrounding him, doesn't really sit well with me. So, after I watched him leave our floor, I snapped out of my thoughts and strolled out over to the secretary that never left her seat. She had bright blonde hair that was straightened along her back, her expression blank as the guards that had just passed by, so I tossed her a friendly smile as I made my way over to her.

"Hello, Renata," I greeted her warmly, to which she only glanced up at me and nodded in acknowledgment before she went back to her computer screen, her glasses positioned on her nose a little lower than normal. I coughed and tried again. "How are you doing today?"

"Harry Styles, right? The latest edition to the IT bunch?" She blinked up at me, and I nodded, trying to seem unfazed by the fact that she immediately recognized me by full name. "I thought you weren't a chatterbox."

"Listen," I sighed. "I'm just getting to know everybody, you know? Like, the man who just passed you right now? Who's he?"

Renata looked up at me with a strange, quizzical expression as she nodded once, seeming to read my question as mere curiosity. "That was Alex Clover."

Luella is with Alex Clover.

I nodded, not satisfied with only the mere knowledge of his name, though it does ring a bell, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I rest my forearm on the high circular build around her desk, pretending to make small conversation. "So, he's important, huh?"

The blonde secretary looks at me funny. "You really don't know anyone here, do you?"

I shrugged with a raise of my eyebrows, waiting for more. Renata sighed and nudged her head towards the direction Alex Clover just walked through.

"That was the young Clover from one of the most important allies we currently have in the market, Clover Co.," Renata pauses, making sure I'm following up. "You know, son and righthand man of his father, James Clover? Nearly the largest investor in the state in the last few years? You must have heard of him."

Of course I have heard of him. James Clover, Clover Co.'s CEO. Renata takes in my expression and laughs in amusement. I join her with a weakly crafted and detached smile, the best I could offer as my mind reels in the information.

Luella is with that Alex Clover.

What a small fucking world.

L U E L L A

"I'm just gonna ignore his ass for all eternity," Cindy announces. For the hundredth time since I knew her.

Apparently Chandler has apologized, through text, and she's choosing to give him the silent treatment. It gets amusing when she peeks every two minutes to see if he sent a new message.

"Right, okay," I shake my head with a chuckle.

"I'm serious!" She argues. "I'm done."

"I'm sure," I nod unconvinced and it makes her grit her teeth in annoyance, erupting a laugh from me. "Love, I know you're upset and he can be an asshole sometimes, but you need to talk this out."

Cindy gives me a look. "So what do I say? Hey, Chan, so...I have a crush on you!"

I shrug. "You could."

"You're joking."

"I'm really not," I defend as she rolls her eyes. "If you want this whole manifesto over, just tell him you like him."

"And get my heart broken by being rejected by a guy I'm forced to work with everyday?" She scoffs. "No, thanks."

"If you know his heart's not in it, then," I lift a shoulder, "why put your heart on the line?"

Cindy pouts her lips in thought, glaring at a point on the wall and I almost feel like hugging her. She finally lands back on planet Earth and sighs sadly. "I have to go. Supposed to pick up my little bro from his swimming training."

"Okay," I chuckle as we hug and I walk her out to the door. "How is he doing?"

"Caleb?" Cindy laughs. "He loves it. He's just a kid, you know? He's having the time of his life getting to have two allowances instead of one."

I laugh lightly as she starts walking down the stairs. "Well, have fun!"

The apartment feels barren and too quiet once I close the door. I make myself a bowl of popcorn and put on a DVD. The movie is romantic and cheesy as hell but I watch through it and-Goddammit, why do I have to remember things he used to say or used to do? Why do I have to remember him at all? Why can't I just watch a fucking romantic movie and not feel like I'm about to cry? Why can't I trust Alex, that has let me into his life? Why can't I love him? Why can't I just be satisfied for once in my fucking life? God, I hate myself. I really do.

Feeling like I was completely over my time in Lancaster and Harry and everything wasn't that difficult when I was filled with hate and despair for a new life. I can't help but think I'm thinking more of Harry now than I was before I woke up in his bed. I can't help but feel my stomach drop every time I think of him or think back to the little thing we had at the grocery store.

How could he say that everything was real? How does someone move on from that? After realizing that, oh, your relationship was just based on a lie! Wanting to befriend me, inviting me to his stupid Halloween frat party, creating this massive chaos of a bet, deliberately showing up in places I was. Knowing little things like where I've been, what I've been doing, and it flew by me! I was so blinded by my...ridiculousness of falling for a guy that is finally giving me something I haven't known before. Love, affection, care....

And it was all a lie.

How can I believe that what I thought we had was real?

"Faith!"

Breaking my train of thoughts, I jump at the sound and appearance of Alex in front of me, causing the bowl of popcorn I was holding to land on the floor, spilling its contents over in a mess. I hold my temples and groan loudly.

"Woah," Alex steps back then tilts his head as if to see my face. "You on Earth right now?"

"Sorry, you just...scared me." I bent down and started to gather all the scattered popcorn before I felt Alex sit down next to me.

"Are you okay?" His concerned approach flusters me. Irritated, I nod as I clench on my teeth.

"I'm fine,"

"Faith-,"

"I'm fine, Alex." My abrupt reply comes off too sharp and I sigh, dropping the bowl from my hand before slowly turning to peek at the confused frown Alex has on. "I'm sorry... I'm fine, okay?"

"No, you're not," Alex's frown deepens and we lock eyes, my failure attempt of a smile falling along with my shoulders and my miserable act.

"Alex," I sigh again and rest my back on the couch, still sitting on the floor.

"What's going on with you, Faith?" He seriously asks, his voice chilling like ice. I try to avoid his gaze as his accusing tone taunts my scattered thoughts. "You haven't been yourself at all lately. What's wrong?"

"What are you talking about?" I shake my head again in nonrecognition, trying to brush this ordeal off. "I guess I'm a bit dazed, surprised and tired, okay? I-"

Alex cuts me off and holds my gaze sternly. "Don't lie to me."

An air of exasperation fills me and I hold my temples, my pulse quickening as I realize he can see right through me. Of course he can, how could he not? I can't deny the fact that I've been walking around like a lifeless zombie lately. Lately being since I've had my encounter with Harry a while ago. Has it been a month? It feels like a few days ago.

"Are you okay?" Alex's frown flattens and he softens his gaze. I stare at him for a while before I tear our gazes apart, nodding in dismissal and standing up. But seeming determined, Alex follows my movements and grabs my wrist before I could walk away.

"What-"

"That's it, Faith," he says. "We're done pretending there isn't something going on for the past-what-few weeks now?" When I don't reply and hold his gaze in stubbornness, he lets go of my wrist and shakes his head. "This is fucking stupid."

"What is?" I snap.

"I'm trying to talk to you," he says, eyes blazing in impatience.

"You are," I coolly say, folding my arms over my chest.

"No, this isn't how a conversation works, Faith. I can't be the only one talking while you give me half-arsed answers or none at all!" His voice raises and he's frowning in a crease between his eyebrows. "It fucking sucks to have you shut me down and push me away whenever you feel like it, Faith! It's Hell for me, and you know that!"

Alex's slightly ragged breaths are the only thing to be heard in the silence that follows for a moment or two, then I watch his brow crease disappear again and his eyes search my face in desperation.

"I'm not pushing you away, Alex," I quietly speak, taking a step towards his frigid figure, which makes his muscles visibly relax a little. "I'm really not trying to hurt you, let alone on purpose. I'm sorry, okay? I'm just..."

He watches me warily. "Don't say you're tired or fine, I swear to God..."

"I-," I sigh then shift my gaze away from his beautiful grey eyes. "I think I feel a bit...lost, I guess? Like I'm not inside my skin anymore and I'm watching myself. I hate it. How clueless my life is and how I feel about myself... If I can still feel anything at all."

"What are you saying?" Alex's voice snaps me back to reality and I remind myself I'm talking out loud. "Does that mean you're not happy? I don't get it. Are-Are you leaving?"

"What?" I frown and study the sharp clench of his jaw and his pinkish neck. "No. No, where did that come from?"

I asked the question, but I knew the answer. Alex was only gentle and patient with me because he knows I have no tied ropes, he knows I can up and leave whenever I want. After all, that is how we met. And even though it's been over a year ago, Alex is-somehow-afraid of losing me that way, and at all. Then, here I come with another obvious reminder of mine that Alex might be feeling for me.

And it terrifies me.

"Then what is it?" The fear is crystal clear in his tone of voice and the touch of his fingertips as he traces the inside of my wrist gently and I could bet he doesn't even realize he's doing that.

And it breaks me.

Because Alex is sweet and lovely and honest, but I'm dark and broken and lost. I keep telling myself not to let my darkness seep into his light, but his light eyes tug at my torn and damaged heartstrings and I coil.

"Alex," I try to taste his name, test my heart, punish my lips. "Let's go out. Just you and me?"

He raises his eyebrows, surprised from the sudden change in mood. "You wanna go out?" He asks and I nod. "And not leave?"

"Alex," His name spills from my lips like soft silk as I take the last step closer to him and slide my hands around his neck, taking advantage of his stoic stance to press my lips against his in a light peck. "I'm not leaving."

His grey eyes glitter in response, sigh falling from his lips in appreciation before he wraps one arm around me and uses the other to play with my hair before he says, "Yeah?"

"Yeah," I promise him heavily, leaning in to kiss him again before I try to self-analyze to decide whether that was a promise made to Alex...

Or myself.