Don't even ask me why the heck I did this. . .
(In case you're new: Sky is me {the author} lol)

Makarov: yO cAnA

Cana: Hey, Gramps, are you okay. . .?

Makarov: y83UP!

Cana: Gramps, what day is it?

Makarov: p[]\epteMber\][-098

Cana: You're drunk, aren't you?

Makarov: nO[]\98765wAy57823hOney piE 

Cana: Ew, did you just call me 'honey pie'?

Makarov: DUH boi ,./;'[]\

Cana: You're a creep.

Makarov: i Thi[]\\[]\[\][\,./NK I SEe nAstU oN tHE []\\[45678904 rOoOOOOOooooOOf

Cana: How much did you drink?!

Makarov: 3456789096543456789 dOG tREAtsS

Cana: WHAT?! Who else is with you?

Makarov: nAuSt aND MIRAAAAAAAAAA

Cana: Are they drunk too. . .?

Makarov: yEaHHhhhHHhHHHHhHHHHHhHHH

Cana: Oh god what are they doing?

Makarov: iCEeEeE IcEEeEEE BAbayyyyyYyyy

Cana: What the hell?

Makarov: StAHp []\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ colgate and LItsEN

Cana: . . .

Cana: What is Natsu doing?

Makarov: haging out with ONE OF HIS GRILS

Cana: WHICH GIRL?!

Makarov: sUkaI1393e5935

Cana: Sukai. . . SKY?!

Makarov: ate NiHgti Thnik of YOU

Cana: ???

Makarov: I WNATTO EB YUOR LADAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Cana: I'm clearly not getting anywhere with you. I'll come to the guild hall as soon as I can to help.

Makarov: BAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

1 Day later. . .

Natsu and Sky

Sky: Natsu, you were so drunk yesterday. I'm ashamed to even be your "buddy"

Natsu: I never called you my buddy!

Sky: Go through the videos on your phone.

. . .

Natsu: You've gotta be kidding me.

Sky: "You're not my best buddy anymore if you don't pick my bagel up off the floor"

Natsu: Oh my Mavis. . . did I really?!

Sky: That's not even the worst of it. . .

Natsu: Really?! Alright, go ahead. Tell me.  -_-'

Sky: You asked me to give birth to your dragon potatoes.

Natsu: Oh god >~<

Natsu: I'm sorry. . .

Sky: You're really serious when you become sober, hm?

Natsu: Yeah. . .

Natsu: Did I do anything else stupid?

Sky: Other than shoving Happy in a pillow case and shouting,"It's a pillow, it's a pet, it's a pillow pet!", nothing too bad. Besides almost falling off the roof and almost setting Mira on fire.

Natsu: I might as well just jump into a hole now. . .

Sky: It's alright, we all get drunk sometimes.

Natsu: I'm so sorry, I really had no clue what I was being so dumb.

Sky: That's a start, now you just have to apologize to Jellal for calling him a blueberry and throwing blueberries at him.

Natsu: WHAT?!

~ The End ~

Okay, the creepiest thing just happened while I was writing this. I have an Amazon Echo Dot in my kitchen (Alexa) and I was singing the song Migraine by Twenty One Pilots while getting a bagel. You know what she said? "You should go to your nearest pharmacy and get some medication if your illness does not commence. I recommend that you seek medical attention if it worsens." Or, something like that. I didn't even say 'Alexa'! I think the government is spying on me through that thing or something. Anyways, I hope I don't die!! xD

It's really hard to write a chapter about a drunk old man when you've honestly never been drunk, except for on memes. Or Natsu. (That sounded bad, forget I said it xD) Both got me walking around the neighborhood to calm down my ADHD and "Drunkness".