I apologize to the entire world for this monstrosity ahead of time...

Max's POV:

It was a normal day in the guild. Natsu and Gray were fighting, Erza was beating them for smashing her cake, and she was leaned up against the wall. Oh, she was gorgeous. I took a deep breath. Today would be the day I told her my feelings.

(A/N Oh please just kill me now...)

Walking over to her, I felt my knees weaken. Why did she have to be so perfect? Her pole was long, smooth and slender. Her bristles more amazing than any other.

I tapped her shoulder. "Broom," I said. "may I have a word with you outside?"

I sensed she wanted to hear me. She never talked. I found it adorable how shy she was.

We went outside, and all eyes were on us. They were probably jealous they didn't have someone special like I did. (A/N No, they think you've lost your ever-loveing-mind!!!)

We were behind the guild, and Broom was starring at me with wonderful anticipation. I couldn't seem to form the words to tell her how deeply I loved her.

I breathed in, calming my nerves.  "Broom, I love you so much.  I can't stand keeping my feelings secret any longer!"

She smiled at me with her sweet smile, with tender admiration in her eyes.  I didn't need another word, I could tell she wanted to be with me just as much as I wanted to be with her.

"What do you say we tell the guild of our new relationship?" I asked

She agreed with me and we entered the guild

"Me and Broom are dating!" I called through the guild. 

The news was so great it caused Natsu and Gray to cease their fighting.  (A/N They also mumbled "what the hell Max has lost it" but lets ignore that.)

Mira walked up to me.  "Th-that's great Max..." Mira said.

"We just thought we'd announce it!" I cried.  "Hmmm lets go home darling...lets have some fun tonight.." I whispered seductively to Broo-

*screech of film tapes stopping*

WHAT THE HELL!!!!  FORGET IT THAT'S IT!!!! *throws script* I F****** QUIT!!!!!  IF I EVER WRITE A LEMON IT WILL NOT BE BETWEEN MAX AND A F****** BROOM!!!!!

Word count 382

I'm sorry.