He's Hurt

I was running.
My heart was beating to the point of nearly ripping it's way free from my heaving chest. My ears rang with the sounds of the erratic beating.
However, the loud ba-dum's of my heart did nothing to block out the other sounds that still rang in my ears.
The shouting.
The screaming.
The cries of agony.
The thump of a body hitting the ground...
I ran faster.
Up the stairs.
Almost there.
A sharp right.
Almost...

I busted through the doors to the Guild's infirmary. The bang of the doors hitting the walls made several heads whip in my direction. But, one stayed perfectly still.
The one laying in the white bed.
The one who needed to be in the infirmary.
The one who should never be in here.

"How is he?" The words were croaked out, they were  barely above a whisper. To my left, I saw Porlyusica, Fairy Tail's medic, mixing up an abundant of strange looking chemicals together. The chemicals hissed and fizzed when they collided with each other. The pink haired woman scoffed at me, never taking her cold eyes off the potion she held in her withered hands.

"What do you think, girl?" Her words were sharp, clipped, and full of dripping acid. "Do you think he is doing alright?" I swallowed hard. My limbs had begun to quake, my bones rattled like skeletons in the wind.
I didn't want to look.
I really didn't.
Because, that person laying motionless on that plain bed could not be him. It couldn't be. It was impossible.

Oh, but it is possible.
An insidious voice hissed in my ear. You should know...
Stop it...
I could feel it smiling.
It was loving how much it's hideous words were affecting me.
You were the one that put him there, Lucy.
No...it's not true!
Lies~ it hissed, enjoying itself.
I slammed my hands over my ringing ears.
Make it go away.
Who's gonna make me leave?
Please, someone.
The only one who can...
No! Please, no! Don't say it!
Is the one who's DYING!

I screamed. Falling onto my knees with a thud. Pain flashed through my knees from the painfully hard floor. The pain was nothing compared to what my heart was going through.

My knees were bruised.
My heart was breaking.
And soon, it would be gone.
Leaving a black hole in its wake.
Faintly, I heard voices near me, hands being put on my shoulders, the soft whispers of my name being called.
But, all I could hear was his screaming.

All my fault...
All
My
Fault.
Yasssss, little Lucy Heartfilia, allllll your fault...

I let go. Fading into the darkness that beckoned to me with a killer's smile.

****

"How long has she been like that?" A voice broke through my shattered conscious.
"A while, the little brat."
"Can't you try any-"
"Look! I've been exhausting all my skills just to keep that boy over there alive. I don't have any time to waste over a girl that is blaming herself!"
Blaming...that sounds correct.
"But, she's suffering."
"And so is he! But worse!"
Worse...?
...Silence...
"Is there really nothing else you can do for him?"
Of course there is...
"...no."
There is...I don't understand why you are lying.
There's always something.
"I've done everything I can."
Liar.
"It may be enough. Or it may not be."
Liar.
"Only time will tell."
LIAR.
He'll be alright.
He has to be.
Natsu will always be alright.

****

He's been in a coma for 6 days now. That was all Porlyusica could do to keep his heart beating.
"He has internal injuries." She had told us all.
My fault.
"He might not last much longer."
Do something.
"Wendy and I have done our best to heal him."
Not good enough.
"We will know if our treatment has worked in a couple of days."
No, not days, now. 
"All we can do now, is wait."
Now.

Now...now I just sit.
Sit and wait. Lost in my own thoughts as my hand gently combs through the soft hair of the silent boy at my side. His skin is growing cold. There is a sheen of grey creeping its way into his tanned skin. I want to wipe it away.
His features are starting to become gaunt. Already his cheeks have sunken in, leaving his cheek bones to push against his skin unnaturally.

"It will be alright." I repeated again. "You will be alright." The words were on a continuous loop.
"It will be alright.
You will be alright."
All your fault.
Yes, I know.

****

Beep...beep...beep...
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep beep beep beepbeepbeepbeep........
My eyes shot open. My ears taking in the sound of a flatline.

What a horrific sound.

"Natsu!" I cried out, horror crashing into me. I frantically leaped away, running, and bursting through the doors of the infirmary. Yelling and crying words that even I didn't understand. Porlyusica was staying at the Guild now. She needed to be close if a change or something happened to him.
Like now.
My screaming turned into chokes and my chokes turned into sobs.
My throat turned raw from my wails.
Someone...someone needs to help him!
Then, it was all just a blur of colors, voices, and curses.
And all the while, that flatline kept floating in the air.

****

Ten days have passed.
Ten days since I had awoken to the sound of the lack of a heartbeat.
Ten days since Porlyusica brought him back.
Ten more days without him waking up.
I missed him.
More than missed him.
I yearned for him.
I hadn't left the Guild since he had been placed on that bed. Where was I going to go anyways? Back to my apartment?
No.
He had been there.
To the park?
No.
That's where we had taken Asuka.
How about to the cherry blossom tree who's petals glowed?
No.
He had given me that tree.
So, here I sat, in the Guild Hall, staring down at my strawberry milkshake like it somehow held all the answers.
Which, of course, it didn't.
This was first time not being in the infirmary.
Not being by his bedside.
Not holding his limp hand.
Not being near him.
I hated it.
I loathed it.
However, I had been kicked out. Or more liked dragged out by Gajeel by the command of Levy. So, here I sat, alone, staring at the condensation that slowly dripped down the slowly warming glass.
"Go."

The sweet voice caused my eyes to turn away from the little droplets of water that were racing one another.
"Go?" I muttered, a questioning air directed at the beautiful bar maid, Mirajane. She nodded once, her white hair flying softly with the movement.
"It's alright, Lucy." A sweet smile decorated her face, her delicate hands making swift circular motions as she dried a cup with a rag.
"Go see him."

Before you can't anymore.
I nodded wordlessly.

Mira was trying to hide it, like everyone else was, but all their eyes couldn't fool me.
They knew what I didn't have the courage to admit.
He was leaving us.
Day by day.
Hour by hour.
Second by second.
His heart was slowly getting duller.
Until it would stop its fiery beat completely.

I picked up my milkshake, slid off the wooden stool, and shuffled my way up the stairs. How many times had I done this?
Walked up these stairs?
Hope would always find its way into my heart as I climbed the stairs.
Hope that when I opened the door, he would be there, waiting, smiling, alive.
When the door came into sight, I stopped.
Hope?
What silliness you still have, little Lucy.
I know, insidious voice, I know.

I raised my hand, it was already shaking, and placed it on the door. I bent forward and rested my forehead on the cool door. Like so many times before, a question whipped through my numb mind.
Why? Why did you have to save me?

I could have handled it.
No you couldn't.

I could have dodged.
Lies.

I could have blocked it, stopped it from happening.
So many lies, for such a small girl.

My hand formed a fist against the door.

I could have taken the blow.
Yasssss, you could have.

I could be the one on that bed.
But you aren't.

I could be the one dying.
Yassss, too late though.

It was all meant for me...
Oh, yasssss, all for you.

"So, why did you have to take it all?"
I squeezed my eyes shut, my hand curling into my cup, causing the plastic to crinkle in my grip. I took a breath, letting it whoosh out of me.
You need to be calm.
Collective.
Perfect.
For him.
Cause he needs you.
Yes, that he does.
He wouldn't if it weren't for you.
Yes...I know.

I gripped the door handle, turned it, and the door swung open. Immediately I was smacked in the face by the force of the medical smell that hung in the air like smoke. You would think that I would get used to the smell by now, but I never would. Not even if I came here for years.
And I would.

I swiveled my head to the left. To where his bed was. It was at the end of the room, next to a window that showed dark clouds full of rain.
It always seemed to rain now. There was no reason for the sun to shine anymore. Not when the light itself was slowly fading away.

I let out a breath and began to make my way over. Porlyusica must have recently been in here because someone had pushed the tissue like curtains together. My hand was clammy from where I had been holding my drink. I switched my now warm drink to my other hand, reaching for the curtain with the other. My fingers had just brushed the curtain when it was suddenly jerked violently back. Then, my vision was being filled with a fanged tooth grin and a full head of spiky, cherry blossom hair.

"Yo, Luce!"

Yo, Luce...

Yo,
Luce...

I blinked.
Then I blinked again.
Just waiting for the smiling boy to disappear in a shower of light. Except, he didn't.
And now he was looking at me weirdly. His brows were scrunched together and a confused frown tugged at his lips. "Oi, you feeling alright, Lucy?"
Was I feeling alright?
He's asking me if I'm alright?
He shouldn't be. He should be worrying about himself. Not the one who put him in here.
Then, it hit me like a bolt of Laxus' lightning.
And oh my Mavis!
Natsu was awake!

My fingers could no longer hold my milkshake. My cup slipped from my limp fingers and clattered onto the ground. A big mess of icky, strawberry milkshake slime flew all over the once brown floors. I barley noticed. I had already leaped at him with my arms outstretched.
He caught me with an oof.

I wrapped my shaking limbs around him.
I was breathing sharply.
I was choking on my sobs.
My bones, my very being, was rattling.

I wanted to scream.
Punch.
Kick.
Strangle.
Laugh.
Cry.
Hug.
Hold.
Yes, I just wanted to hold him.
Just...just let me hold him.
There was no hissing voice to tell me no.

"Whoa, Lucy!" Natsu laughed out. "Didn't think you woulda missed me this much."
Idiot, don't say such lies.
My fingers dug into his shirt, pulling at the bandages that I knew were still wrapped around the whole of his torso.
I should know. I witnessed and dressed the wound.

I wanted to curse.
I wanted to yell.
I wanted to murmur sweet nothings.
I wanted to sigh as the shadows that had wound its black tendrils around my heart were quickly vanquished by the light.

"I'll always miss you." I muttered instead. I squeezed my eyes shut tight and buried my face into the crook of his neck. His strong arms came around me as he hugged me back just as tightly.
"I missed you too, Luce."
Yay, just let me hold you, Natsu.
Just let me hold you.

~The End~