I would say it was a normal day in the guild, but I feel like I've used that too much and since when is Fairy Tail normal? Instead, I'll just say World War III was going on inside the guild because, as usual, chairs were flying, magic was being used, explosion......well exploded. The few mages not causing mass destruction and chaos (and making the master cry) were at the bar eating or drinking (or in Cana's case, drowning in) booze. And of course, Mira Jane suddenly came up with a brilliant idea to make her OTP's finally come true. She would have a lottery thingy!
   "You so sure that's a good idea, Mira?" I asked from my throne of awesomeness. "What if instead of your OTP's getting together, they get paired up with another one? Like Gajeel and Carla instead of Happy and Carla?" I shiver in horror.
   "That's why I'm going to rig them so that both parts in my OTP's will be paired together! And you shouldn't even be here! Go back home!" Mira scolds me as I pout and leave.
   "Mira? Who are you talking to?" Lucy looked up from her book and looked quizzically at Mira.
   "Oh uh........ no one. No one at all." Mira smiles innocently and continued to clean the already sparkling glass that was blinding everyone's eyes.
   "MY EYES! MY EYES!" A random guild member screamed as he(or she. I can't tell since I haven't taken the time to actually make their character) ran outside the guild.
   "Ok then................" Lucy shivers at Mira's creepy smile.
   "Ne, Lucy, want to play a game?" Once again, Lucy shivered at Mira's words, suddenly very terrified.
   "Ummmmm....................... yes?" Mira suddenly clapped her hands scaring the beejeebies out of Lucy and a random mouse who was stealing some cheese.
    "Oh good! Let me just get the others and we can start." Another creepy smile.

~~~~~~~A time skip brought to you by le awesome Author of this story, Mwah!~~~~~~
    Mira had gathered all the mages and they were now sitting at tables while Mira was up on stage and explained the game.     "We are going to have a lottery! I will put golf balls, with the symbol of each male mage's magic on it, inside a giant glass and a female will have to come up and stick there hand in with a blindfold on and whoever's ball they pick, they have to go on a date with them! And, just in case anyone refuses, there will be 5000 million jewel reward to the couple that I find the cutest!" Mira explained happily.
   "Juvia will have Grey-sama's ball! Juvia will not let any love rival take one of Grey-sama's precious balls!" Juvia then proceeded to glare at all 'love rivals'.
  "Of course." Mira smiles mischievously and she walks away to put the balls in glass.
   "Oooooooh! This is going to be so fun!" I say, stuffing popcorn in my mouth and eating it like the fat lazy seal I am.
   "Author-chan, you shouldn't think so badly of yourself." Wendy says as if she can read my mind. "I'm not reading your mind, your talking out loud." Wendy sweat drops as I realize that I am actually talking out loud.
   "Oh well whatever. I'm a lazy fat seal, and nothing is going to change that. Now that we have successfully distracted the reader from the process in which Mira went through to make the golf balls and place them in the glass, let's get back to the story!" I say as I switch the focus back to Mira who is on onstage with the giant glass that has the golf balls inside of it.
   "FIRST UP! LUCY HEARTFILLIA!!" Mira yells and Lucy walks up on the stage, practically shaking. Mira ties a blindfold over her eyes and turn her around and around until she's about to barf. "Now, place your hand in the glass and grab a ball and pull it out."
   Lucy does as she is told, the best she can considering the fact she's about to toss her Girls scouts Peanut butter cookies. She reaches in and pulls out a..................
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AN ICE BLUE GOLF BALL WITH A SNOW CANNON ON IT!
   Naw, just kidding. She pulls out a pink golf ball with a fire dragon on it.
   "Natsu! Lucy and Natsu are our first couple." Mira then proceeds to shove the two outside and throws some money at them. "There's your date money, now go! I'll be watching!" She then slams the door shut. Lucy and Natsu look at each other and shrug.
  "Let's go eat!" Natsu grabs Lucy and drags her to the nearest restaurant.
~~~~~~~time skip brought to you by le awesomest author in ze world!~~~~~~~
   Lucy and Natsu had already ordered their food and are now waiting for it. Awkward silence.
   "So Luce....................................how's your book coming along?" Natsu asked looking at his hand.
   Lucy's head shot up in surprise. "My book? It's coming along great actually! I'm writing about my experiences I've had so far since joining the guild. It helps a lot to actually have lived through them. I know exactly how to write it and what emotions to write about and the details and descriptive details." Lucy then begins to talk about her book and they talk about that and their adventures for the rest of the time at the restaurant because the author is too lazy to come up with the dialog. Soon, the duo finished eating, read: Natsu devoured the entire restaurant's food supply as Lucy wept because the date money they were given wasn't enough and she had to pay for the rest of it then they were chased out because Natsu somehow got in a fight with Gray (who was also there for some reason) and destroyed the place.
   ~~~♪somewhere over the rainbow!♪~~~
   Master Makarov wept as he looked at the damage bill Jalepeno Bush (HA! YOU CAN'T SUE ME! *random lawyer appears with a serving papers* OH COME ON!!!!!) sent him.
~~~♪back over the rainbow♪~~~and let time skip, again!~~~
   Lucy and Natsu managed to escape the mob of angry chefs as they screamed French curse words and toast and fries, which Natsu then proceeded to eat, and came upon a quiet pasture on a hill top. The lights of the city seemed to fade away and only the stars of the night were left for light. Lucy then proceeded to show Natsu all of the constellations. The drifted closer and Lucy seemed to sparkle and glow with this heavenly, celestial well, uh glow. Natsu stared at her, entranced by her beauty.
    'Luigi is so beautiful. How have I never noticed?' Natsu asked himself. 'Ow!' He said as I whacked him upside the head with a brick. 'HER NAME ISN'T LUIGI! IT'S LUCY YOU FISHSTICK!' I yelled at him.
    "Lucy..............." Natsu said as he stared at her. Lucy turned her head and looked at Natsu.
     "Hmm? Natsu?" She said and blushed as she saw him leaning forward, his breath on hers. She leaned in as well and found her eyes slowly closing. Their lips touched and fireworks seemed to explode around them. AND THEN A GIANT GORILLA APPEARED AND ATE THEM BOTH!!!!! Naw, just kidding. But I did throw some condoms at them.
     "DON'T FORGET PROTECTION!!!!!!" But, of course they didn't pay attention to me since I'm not supposed to be part of this story. I pout.
      "EEEEEEEE!!!!!!! NALU!!!!!" Mira screamed and Natsu and Lucy suddenly jerk apart completely red. "BRKFOOAOEBOSKEBRURKOEEBHEIRKFNJROWORINEURUFJ9E83H8R83884838488474747477474774738😥😟😭😟😣🍑🤓😙🛥🐆😒🤔🐶🐕🐺🐑🐮🐅🌈🔴⚫🔵⭕♒⚯☙⚀⚁⚂⚃⚄⚅" At this point, Mira wasn't even speaking english. Or Japanese. She was basically screaming colors and talking colors. It was quite frightening. Eventually, Lucy and Natsu ran away together, scared for their lives. And no priest would even step foot in 3900000 mile radius from Mira ever since.  The end!!!!

AN: OHIYO! WHOOOOO! I'm back fairies! I want to send a special shout out to @Mystical_AC for asking for nalu, and reminding me that I do have a fanfiction that I need to update, thanks for giving me (essentially) a slap in the head! Even though you didn't actually do anything like that, just asked for some nalu, and I thank you for that! I hope you enjoyed this and I hope it made you both fangirl and laugh! I'd be more than happy to do any other requests you, or anyone else has. I do all ships, except for CarlaxGajeel. If you ask me to do one, I will blatantly refuse. IT AIN'T NATURAL! XD Any other requests, I will do though. *bows* Once again, thank you!