You checked your phone once more - yup, this was the right address.

The restaurant you were about to meet at was one your father chose. Not too expensive, but not cheap either; just right for your dad.

You nervously adjusted the hem of your turtleneck pullover before taking a deep breath and pushing the doors of the old fashioned brick building open.

He was always making such a big deal out of meeting up with you.

"Hello, dear!" He sounded friendly as your dad made you notice him, sitting at one of the tables in the back of the room.

"Hi, dad." You greeted back, smiling slightly.

You two hadn't met in a long time, yet the familiar picture of this man had imprinted itself into your brain ever since you were a kid.

Back then - till today, even - he always reminded you of a rock; Hard, rough face traits that never seemed to really change, no matter what.

His voice sounded warm and friendly? His face looked stern and blank.

He was shouting at you like a mad man? Well, his face looked blank.

"So, daughter." He began, "How've you been doing?"

"Good..." You smiled, because for once it wasn't a lie, "...yeah, pretty good."

He grunted approving, averting his attention away for a moment to take his order, just to turn back to you right after, "You never visit. It's almost like you cease to exist as soon as we part."

You looked away ashamed, knowing that you tended to push the thought of your dad away when he wasn't around, "Well-"

"I'm sure you were busy with your lovely Taemin." He cut you off, actually grinning for once.

Ah, right.

Your dad loved Taemin.

"Well, about that..." You started hesitant, but got cut off by him again.

"He sure is a fine young man! I'll be proud to call him my son-in-law one day."

He's a wet loser. A fucking disease.

"Dad, we broke up." You said quickly, before your father got to hype up this unsettling imagination of his.

"You-" His face fell immediately, back to his blank look, "What?"

"I broke up with him." You said again, more decidedly this time, "He was taking advantage of me,  and was a mean cunt in general. So I ended things."

The man flinched at your choice of words, but didn't say anything. He just huffed. The huff you heard so often before. The kind of sound that told you that 'you're being a dumb child and I know better than you'.

It was awfully quiet after that, no one attempting to start a conversation until the food got served.

"Dad, look, you wouldn't want a man like-"

"Leave it." He sighed, "You always know better than me anyways, right?"

You clenched your fist on your lap, feeling like leaving already at his arrogant tone.

This isn't going the way I planned.

Seeing how things went, chances were low that he'd react well to your plans.

"D-Dad..." You began when you'd almost eaten up.

"Hm?" He sounded grumpy.

"I... you know I've never really been interested in my economy studies."

He looked up from his food, one brow cocked, "So what?"

"Well, I don't think that it's a good thing for me to... that I force myself to do something I don't like to do."

Your dad snickered, "Well, if you want to live a good life you can't just do whatever you want. Welcome in the real world."

"That's not true." You denied decidedly, "If you want to become a dancer then you can become one and still live a good life."

He laughed, "No, you don't. People like that are delusional, honey. They'll never get to settle down and rest their entire lives."

"Maybe that's their definition of a 'good life'."

The man stared at you for a while before turning more serious, "What is it that you want to say?"

You stared back, nervous, before finally saying: "I want to drop out of uni."

He laughed again, this time in a rather bitter way, "No, you don't."

"I do."

"Oh, really?" He scowled, "What will you do then, huh? Work as a waitress in some shabby café for the rest of your sad life?" He shook is head disappointedly, "Who was it that put this idea into your head anyways? Was it another boy? Is that the reason for why you broke up with Taemin?

You opened your mouth, wanting to retort something smart, but his next words left you dumb founded: "What would your poor mother think about you if she heard this, huh?"

"This isn't about mom!"

"Oh, it is! She couldn't live happily, so at least you should do so!" He raised his voice, making the other guests look at him unsure.

You snorted, "Don't act like you care about what mom would think. This is about you and your ideals that you want to fucking force onto your daughter-"

"Don't use that language on me." He cut you off sternly, "I don't know what you think you're doing, but you will stop it right now. Whoever you're seeing, leave him."

He stood up abruptly, almost pushing over a wine glass, "You will attend uni, like usual and you will do as I say, got it? Get out of your fucking imagination, you're not a child anymore."

Not a child anymore?

You, too, stood up and grabbed your jacket, hurrying out of the place while strictly ignoring your father's shouts.

I stopped being a child when you stopped being a father.

I left my fucking imagination behind when mom died.

You felt angry tears running down your cheeks, making you even angrier at the fact that he made you cry again.

Your fingers were covered in salty tears when you dialed Jimin's number, sniffing aggressively while you waited for him to pick up.

Why do you think you can rule over my life?

How do you manage to get a grasp of another part of my poor excuse of a life every time me meet?

He was your dad after all. All the family you had left. You had to listen.

"Yes?" Jimin picked up after the second ring.

"I- I can't do this anymore..."

"Huh? What- Are you crying? Babe, should I come over I-"

"No." You cut his adorable rambling off, "I'm-m so-rry Jimin." Why were you crying so hard? "Dad's right, I have to get out of my imagination. This is stupid after all."

"Your Dad said that? What the fuck, Y/N that's-"

You hung up.

It's always been like that. Your dad demanding and demanding and you just giving, because you're his daughter and he was the only one left for you.

✝︎❦❇︎

sorry for updating so late but I'm back to school so homework, late classes and anxiety attacks were preventing me from writing

xx