More winners are here!

This was very hard to judge. Everyone had great blurbs. I planned on releasing winners for this category yesterday but I had to take more time to think.

I copy and pasted usernames right from your forms, so if I tagged anyone wrong, please let me know so I can fix it asap! Copy and paste errors happen, so if you don't see yourself in the reviews, please let me know.

Please do not argue with me. Remember this is for fun and all personal opinion. I don't give harsh feedback, just honest feedback. You're of course entitled to your own opinion and you can disagree with everything I say if you want. Ask questions and discuss, but please no hate or arguments!

The reviews are specific but not as detailed as my main reviews will be because best blurb is one of the mini categories.

Even though this is a mini category, the reviews are still over 3k words long in total, so just imagine what the reviews will look like when I do the main/huge categories!

If you have any questions, please let me know! Prizes will be distributed soon!

3rd Place

Forbidden Yet Destined by Hells07dealer

The Blurb:

In an enchanting tale of star-crossed love, Jeon Jungkook, the wealthy and enigmatic bachelor, embarks on a search for the missing piece of his heart. 

Little does he know that destiny has a mysterious plan in store. Meet Yn, a captivating orphan with secrets that could change their fates forever. 

Forbidden by society, but fueled by an unwavering love, she's willing to defy all odds to protect their bond. As their worlds collide and their hearts entwine, will they conquer the forces that threaten to tear them apart? Brace yourself for a journey of passion, sacrifice, and the ultimate test of love. 

Will they find solace in each other's arms or face their destiny, even if it means risking it all? Unveil the captivating tale that unfolds in "Arms of Destiny: Bound by Love."

Thoughts:

This blurb feels like a Disney story come to life (one of the good ones from the Renaissance era, not whatever they're doing now). The language is vivid and paints a clear picture of what the story is going to have in it and who the characters are. You even give us some character traits for us to attach ourselves to before we start the story. It's very clear and the lack of major grammar/spelling errors makes it easy to read.

The only criticism I have is the last part feels unnecessary. The sentence "Will they find solace in each other's arms..." feels like it was already done with the "As their worlds collide..." sentence. You also use "captivating" again in that last part when you used it in the beginning while introducing Y/n, which is another reason that last part felt a little unnecessary to me. In the blurb, when you're using "larger" (for lack of a better term) words like captivating, it's noticeable if you're using them more than once.

2nd Place

A Con from the Sweetest Lips || Katniss Everdeen by ElizaJayBird1

The Blurb:

Conway O'dair and her brother contrasted each other like the day diverged from the night. Their charm was a conjoining feature in their arsenals, as well as their mirrored eyes and affinity for the sea. Perhaps most importantly, they were tethered by the rampant guilt which bloomed from surviving the Hunger Games. 

She could sing a requiem for the withered girl she was once, now replaced by a liar who could fool even the wisest. Which just so happened to be how she won her first games. Conway acted a mastermind in a game created by maggots, and lived by virtue of her intellect and tricks. Weren't the mutilating nightmares, debilitating regret, and sorrow penance enough?

It should have been. 

But the Capitol was fragile. Their power was akin to the frail wings of a paper bird, and Katniss Everdeen's flame was enough to incinerate them. She unraveled all that was set in stone, and incited a spark of rebellion that Snow needed to snuff. And so... the 75th Hunger Games declared that the tributes for the Quarter Quell would be reaped from the existing pool of victors.

The only eulogy left to for the birds to hum would be that of Conway's funeral lament.

Thoughts:

I really like the last paragraph of the blurb. It's like an explosion of all the setup you did with the previous three paragraphs. None of the paragraphs are long or overstay their welcome. You give the audience what they need to know then move on. I have a clear grasp on what the story is going to be about, and I know who the main characters are. I also know how it ties in with the Hunger Games franchise, which is a nice touch.

I have a nitpick, but since it's a nitpick, it's not a huge deal. The sentence "She could sing a requiem for the withered girl she was once...". The first part is absolutely beautiful and descriptive without being over-the-top. However, the "she was once" is throwing me off a little. I feel it could sound more natural/flow better if it was, "She could sing a requiem for the withered girl she once was...". But that's just a really tiny nitpick.

The only core criticism I have is this: "The only eulogy left to for the birds to hum would be that of Conway's funeral lament." The problem is the "to" in that sentence. It isn't needed, so it can be shortened to, "The only eulogy left for the birds to hum would be that of Conway's funeral lament."

1st Place

Akarshika by KanhaiyakiSakhi9112

The Blurb:

There lived a princess whose mere presence captivated all who beheld her. Akarshika, with her black eyes shining bright and her lips always adorned with a proud smile, seemed to radiate an otherworldly beauty. Her long, flowing black hair cascaded down her back like a majestic waterfall, and her eyelashes were perfectly adorned with the mascara of darkness. With every confident step and proud face, she exuded an aura of power and majesty.

Whispers and rumors of her divine ancestry spread throughout the kingdom, some even proclaiming her to be a goddess. Yet, it was her intelligence that truly set her apart. Akarshika was the only one capable of matching wits with Shakuni, the renowned mastermind of strategy. Her every move and decision were scrutinized by her subjects, for the pampered princess had a reputation to uphold.

But destiny had other plans for Akarshika. Life suddenly thrust her into the complex web of the epic Mahabharat, with an important role to play. As she navigates the treacherous waters of politics and power, her arrogance is shattered to its core by the events that unfold. Mistakes are made, and she is left grappling with the consequences, desperately trying to right the wrongs she has caused.

Will Akarshika rise above her flaws and find redemption, or will she be forever condemned by her past actions?

Thoughts:

Typically I am not someone who is attracted to a lot of flowery language, but for this blurb, it works. It works for the genre of the story, the character of Akarshika, and the overall vibe you were going for. Many writers tend to use flowery language for the sake of it (which is why I typically don't like it), but you made it work. You made it tie in with Akarshika's character and it's almost like we're one of the people viewing Akarshika. It's like the blurb convinces us of her princess nature. It's like you transported us to her world and made us one of the ones who beheld her.

There were some very interesting lines in this blurb that were specific and descriptive without going too over-the-top in any way. For example, "...and her eyelashes were perfectly adorned with the mascara of darkness." The "mascara of darkness" was pleasant imagery that painted a clear picture of Akarshika. Considering her name is the title of the book, you did a great job bringing her to life in the first paragraph of the blurb.

The blurb starts more character focused then, in the last paragraph, reveals details about the plot and pays off that character set up by tying it into how it relates to the plot. It makes me feel more invested in the story now that I know who the main character is and even get little hints about how she's going to develop.

For a blurb, word choice is more noticeable, especially if you use "larger" words (for lack of a better term). I only bring that up because "adorned" is used twice in the first paragraph, which is noticeable not just because the blurb is short but also because it was used in the same paragraph, so in very close proximity to one another. That's my only criticism, though.

P.S. Congratulations on 300 followers!

Honorable Mentions

Unmasked Heroes by dragonhunterthirteen

The Blurb:

*Heroes aren't born, they're made*

Like everyone else her age, Kourtney Woods struggles to balance: maintaining decent grades, having a social life, and getting enough sleep.

With one particular exception - Kourtney doesn't have a social life - she has superpowers.

_'_

Five months ago, Kourtney Woods discovered she had unnatural abilities. A destructive combination of telepathy and teleportation, making her Skylight City's newest Lighter member and the leader of her very own team of supers.

Unbeknown to the rest of her squad, Kourtney is her school's infamous outcast.

This social standard inevitably creates unforeseen conflict amongst the team members - rivalries soon bloom within, and discord threatens to erupt.

However, when high-profiled villains start raining down on Skylight City like wildfire, Kourtney's team of high school supers are forced to put aside their differences and work together.

To save their home from a villain they never saw coming, they'll need every bit of superpower they have.

Thoughts:

For starters, I love the last line. It's a great hook. "To save their home from a villain they never saw coming, they'll need every bit of superpower they have." That's really nice and I enjoyed reading that.

I can also see the creativity immediately with the names like Skylight City. The blurb hints at a story that runs far deeper than the average superhero book. Instead, you introduce social class and how that impacts how others are seen. I think having a literal superhero be looked down on because she's a social outcast is an interesting idea.

Overall, I have a solid idea of who Kourtney is and what the story is going to be about. I didn't have any confusion after reading the blurb. It enticed me to read, teased the creativity in the story, and showed off the most important bits without being too spoiler-y.

The first sentence has a colon when I don't believe it should. The sentence is: "Like everyone else her age, Kourtney Woods struggles to balance: maintaining decent grades, having a social life, and getting enough sleep." The colon isn't needed. You don't need any punctuation there. The sentence is otherwise good, but the colon isn't needed.

This is a nitpick and I'm not going to worry too much about it, but the sentence, "With one particular exception - Kourtney doesn't have a social life - she has superpowers" could flow a liiiittle better as "With one particular exception: Kourtney doesn't have a social life; she has superpowers."

I was a little stuck on suggestions for that sentence and after talking to my dad about it (he's a writer), we agreed that that sounds like a natural alternative, but there are many ways to write it to make it sound a lil more natural, so I encourage you to play around with it! Again, that's a nitpick so it really isn't a big deal but still something I thought I'd bring to your attention.

KAYLA ROSE by Abigailk8

The Blurb:

In the eye opening pages of 'KAYLA ROSE' meet Kayla, a teen whose world has been over shadowed by the relentless grip of anxiety. Each step she takes feels like an unsteady tightrope walk, her mind consumed by constant fear and worry. But amidst the dark clouds that surround her, a ray of light emerges in the form of Fiona, the new student in her class.

Fiona's arrival is not just a mere coincidence, it's a turning point in Kayla's life. With an empathetic smile and a gentle demeanor, she unknowingly unravels the knots of anxiety that have twisted themselves in Kayla's heart. Fueled by curiosity and a genuine desire to understand, Fiona slowly peels back the layers of her struggles, revealing a shared language that transcends words.

As Kayla opens up to Fiona, the power of their connection become evident. With each passing day, the tendrils of her anxiety loosen their grip, replaced by a newfound sense of ease and confidence. Her steady presence provides a safe harbour in the tempestuous sea of her mind, encouraging her to confront her fears head-on. 

But as their friendship blossoms, Kayla discovers she's not the only grappling with demons. Beneath Fiona's smile lies her own hidden battles, stretching the boundaries of understanding and forging a bond rooted in empathy and vulnerability.

This tale explores the transformative power and intricate thread that unites us all. Amidst the backdrop of Kayla's struggle with anxiety, it shows us that sometimes, solace and strength can be found where we least expect them, and that our vulnerabilities can pave the way for profound connections that bring healing and hope.

Thoughts:

After reading the blurb, I feel like I know a lot about Kayla and a bit about Fiona, which is a good thing. You're setting up mystery around what Fiona's demons could be, and the blurb is written almost like it's from Kayla's perspective, which was super interesting. You very clearly establish what's at stake, who these characters are (without giving too too much away), and set up what themes the book is going to have. Anyone who reads it will have a clear understanding of what the book is going to be about, which is imperative for a blurb.

The third usage of "anxiety" feels a little unnecessary. I mean this sentence, "With each passing day, the tendrils of her anxiety loosen their grip...". The reason is because there are two sentences in the previous paragraph that already say that. These two sentences: "With an empathetic smile and a gentle demeanor, she unknowingly unravels the knots of anxiety that have twisted themselves in Kayla's heart. Fueled by curiosity and a genuine desire to understand, Fiona slowly peels back the layers of her struggles, revealing a shared language that transcends words."

See how you already established how anxiety is losing its grip on Kayla? I feel like the third paragraph isn't needed since the second paragraph already establishes almost everything said in the third paragraph, if that makes sense.

The first sentence could benefit from some spelling and punctuation fixes. This is the first sentence: "In the eye opening pages of 'KAYLA ROSE' meet Kayla, a teen whose world has been over shadowed by the relentless grip of anxiety." Here are some fixes to the spelling and punctuation: "In the eye-opening pages of 'KAYLA ROSE,' meet Kayla, a teen whose world has been overshadowed by the relentless grip of anxiety." 

I added a hyphen between eye and opening, a comma before "meet," and deleted the space between "over" and "shadowed."

REVIEWS:

The Cold Heart by MiaKurenai_2009

Thoughts:

The names are colorful and stand out (I personally love the name Kai!). I like how you kept the focus on those two and gave them their own paragraphs to develop. You described who they were without overdoing it or making it feel over-the-top. You give two short paragraphs to introduce them, then the last paragraph to get into the nitty gritty details about the plot. Along with that, I have a clear idea of what the story is going to be about thanks to the blurb, which is the most important part!

There are some grammar errors in the blurb, mostly with punctuation. For example, "Ahana Sidorov a seemingly normal girl takes the responsibility...". It should be: "Ahana Sidorov, a seemingly normal girl, takes the responsibility...".

There is a moment of redundancy in the line, "There's something about her that feels familiar to him, although he can't quite place where he's seen her before-he feels he knew her from somewhere...". The "he feels he knew her from somewhere" is unnecessary since the first part of the sentence already implies that, so it's repeating what you already said.

This is a nitpick since it's the excerpt and not the core part of the blurb, but the line, "And I will make sure you will never!" could sound more natural if it were, "And I will make sure you never will!" But that's a nitpick since it's not even the core of the blurb.

Romantic Story by aurora_2604

Thoughts:

The beginning part of the blurb does a good job introducing us to the premise of the story without feeling too long or drawn out. The short but packed sentences allow readers to get a clear image on what the story is going to be about. You balance this out by mentioning who the "Two people" are by the end, revealing the character names and giving brief and natural descriptions to them.

So it's like the first part is the quick bite-sized chunks to get the reader invested, then the second part gives solid answers and brings the concept forward. I like how that's formatted and it does a great job convincing the reader to continue reading. You create intrigue that doesn't feel forced or awkward, which is exactly what I personally look for in a blurb.

There are just some small things I'd like to mention. Let's start with the nitpicks then get into the core stuff. "Two people who should never have crossed paths...". This is a nitpick and not anything I would take off points for, but still something I thought worth mentioning. I would recommend having it be, "Two people who should have never crossed paths...". It just sounds a bit more natural that way. It's not necessarily wrong, but I naturally read it as the second way and didn't realize it was the first until I did looked closer.

Another nitpick but it's a little more prominent is "They entered into a relationship...". The "into" isn't needed since "entered" already implies that.

The core stuff I mentioned before has to do with the last sentence. The last sentence is, "The story of Jungkook, a rich handsome bachelor but a ruffian who has a deep passion for Taehyung who is only a supervisor, a kind-hearted innocent carrier boy."

I feel like this sentence is a little too packed with information and you could have benefitted from slowing down and either A) focusing on punctuation or B) splitting up the sentence. Here's an example: "This is the story of Jeon Jungkook, a handsome bachelor but a ruffian with a deep passion for Kim Taehyung, a kind-hearted carrier boy." That's one example of a way to narrow the focus of the sentence, but there are many ways to write, so I encourage you to play around with it!

As Real as You and Me by Kmytho

Thoughts:

The blurb does a good job feeling cinematic and including descriptive, emotional words to help the audience understand what is going on. The blurb tells a story in itself, and I thought that was really nice. It feels like a broken fairytale, which entices me to want to read the book. After reading it, I know what the story is going to be about and who the characters are. The only critiques I have have to do with grammar and clarity.

There are some grammar errors and the last sentence is a little unclear. As for grammar errors, there are errors with the dialogue. For example: "I will always be with you." he promised. It should be: "I will always be with you," he promised. Dialogue tags are part of the sentence (AKA a continuation of the dialogue), therefore a period/full stop is incorrect there.

You also do this thing where you use two full stops instead of one. You do this twice. With this sentence: "Her heart was shattered into millions of splintered peices..". Do you see the two dots at the end? If you were going for an ellipse, they are three dots, not two. So it would be: "Her heart was shattered into millions of splintered pieces...". "Pieces" is also spelled wrong so I corrected it there.

The last sentence is: "After receiving a message from Kwan that they were back in town, the last thing Taeyeon knew that she was on her knees proposing Baekhyun."

The second part of that sentence is the part that's unclear. I'm also a little confused about how the second part connects to the first part. It almost feels like the sentence was meant to be, "The next thing Taeyeon knew, she was on her knees proposing to Baekhyun" or "After receiving a message from Kwan that they were back in town, the next thing Taeyeon knew she was on her knees proposing to Baekhyun."

Their Parallel by _reichii

The blurb is catchy and fun to read, and the first sentence is nice and to the point. It sets up the basic premise in a way that doesn't feel forced. As for the creativity, the names stand out as unique and eye-catching. There are many emotional buzzwords in there like "fate" that encourage the audience to read more and figure out what you wrote. In general, the blurb does a good job catching the audience's attention by using the "interesting first sentence, then an explanation paragraph below" tactic.

While I have no problem with short blurbs, I would recommend adding another one or two sentences, or maybe another short paragraph just to give the audience a little more detail. The blurb is six very short sentences. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. Short blurbs can work just as well as longer ones. It's more the content in the short sentences.

For example, we don't know anything about who the characters are, only that the two characters are enemies. We don't know where the story takes place or what time period it is, we don't know anything about their relationship as enemies or as online friends, we don't know if they go to school or if they're out of school, etc. I'm not saying all those questions need to be answered, but learning a little more could be beneficial. As is, all we know about the plot is there are two characters who are enemies in real life but friends online. That does a good job establishing the basic premise and generates interest, but outside that, we don't know anything, if that makes sense.

Rekindling Love by sweetandhotcreator

Normally I'm not a huge fan of blurbs that use a lot of dialogue/excerpts from the text, but I really liked the part where Dian and her producer are talking and it says "the movie producer was just as serious." It was a small moment that I liked and it set the stakes for Dian's character in a natural way.

In general, the stakes and tension are at an all-time high in this blurb. You make it clear right off the bat why Dian is going to struggle and what the core conflict is. We learn a little bit about Dian but you purposefully keep Andre in the dark. Despite being the core conflict, he's only mentioned by name three times. I love that detail since it piques the readers' curiosity about what happened between the two. You do a good job incorporating mystery in a way that doesn't feel forced or vague. You still give us information but leave just enough out that we're left wanting more. It's a great balance.

I'm a film major, so I'm a bit biased when I say the story idea here is interesting and feels like it will have a lot of drama and interesting moments. AKA: The blurb makes me want to read the book, which is fantastic and always the goal of any blurb. Like I said, I'm a film major, so I'll probably end up reading this story at some point in the near future haha.

The first sentence, "Happiness knocks on Dian's door again when she gets the role of her dreams except that dream comes with another nightmare, Andre Blaq." I feel some of the punctuation can be rearranged. I plugged a bunch of different punctuation possibilities into grammar checking software and there were many ways that worked, so I encourage you to play around with it. However, I will give one example: "Happiness knocks on Dian's door again when she gets the role of her dreams, except that dream comes with another nightmare: Andre Blaq." That's one example, but there are a couple ways to punctuate that sentence!

The second part also has punctuation errors. The second part is, "After Dian's five years marriage ended in Tragedy, she swore never to let History repeat itself. Three years later, she gets the lead role in a big movie. She finally felt like this could be her chance to be happy again but that hope came crashing down when her role involved acting with her ex-husband, Andre."

The errors are with "Dian's five years marriage" and the "...be happy again but." They should be: "Dian's five-year marriage" and "She finally felt like this could be her chance to be happy again, but that hope came crashing down when her role involved acting with her ex-husband, Andre."