4. Joy, the year of the Unicorn  

Dear diary,

I know, I know, I am already a bad diary keeper, but I am doing my best. It's just that I had a few busy days and my mind was buzzing, so much so, that it was difficult to focus on writing. Okay, from now on, I will give you no more excuses and you shall forgive my irregular writing, deal?

So I told you a little about myself and my precious house but these days I have been thinking a lot about fairy rules and I have some thoughts that I would love to share with you.

Being a fairy is mostly fun and relaxing, but as you can see from the example of my housewarming party it is not always fun. There are also certain rules that are not so interesting to follow. I mean when were the rules ever described as fun! But in my world, there are some rules that have to be followed the same as in any other society.

When it comes to fairy rules, there aren't many of them, but they are always strictly followed. Some rules are just mere suggestions but others are very strict and sometimes even unfair.

One of those unfair rules is the 'must marry age' rule. According to fairy laws, you have the freedom to marry when you want, but there are some limitations. There is a strict law that a female fairy has to be wed until her 800th birthday or else she would be shunned by the fairy society. No one knows when or why this rule was made but for some reason, it has always been followed. Probably because no one knew for sure if the shunning was just an empty threat or the harsh reality.

The reason why nobody knows this is the fact that this rule has never been broken before. It didn't matter that they didn't find the loves of their lives, the fairy girls got married just to avoid breaking the rule.

I personally think that it is barbaric to force someone to settle for something that doesn't make them happy. It is so... so human. I thought that we fairies were better than that, but once again I have been proven wrong by my own society.

It is said that 800 years is enough time for maturation, settlement, and engagement, but I wonder if it is really enough time. We fairies are all different, but we all live very long lives so why not give us more time? Couldn't they give us the freedom to organize our lives the way we see fit?

There are many fairy races and although we don't mingle a lot I do know that they also have some very strange rules. Hasn't our longevity taught us anything? Didn't wisdom come with age?

As for myself, maybe I lack the wisdom to see the purpose of their rules since I am so young. From my strong opposition to these ridiculous rules, you might have guessed that I will soon turn 800 years.

I have not yet found my fairy soulmate, and I am on the verge of panic. I refuse to marry without love, but do I really want to break a rule that has never been broken before? Am I brave enough? Do I have the necessary strength to stand in the middle of the storm alone? I am not sure.

I stood up for myself and my home, but that is totally different. Choosing a generic house was always just a strong suggestion, not a rule. This suggestion has been broken many times before but do I dare break the rule that has never been broken?

Punishment for having a unique home is just reproach and gossip, but refusing to marry in the allotted time, would have as a consequence a much more serious punishment.

Am I willing to face the possibility of being shunned by my family? I don't truly believe that it is possible for us fairies to do such a dreadful thing, but am I willing to risk it? I don't know. If there is even the slightest chance for me to be thrown out, never to see my family again should I even contemplate that notion? But I also have to stay true to myself, to the fairy heart that binds us all. If I stop being me and settle for something that doesn't make me happy, will my spark slowly wither and die?

Mind you, I have seen this happening to many a fairy who wedded just for the sake of the rules. They lost their spark, their life joy and for a fairy that is the cruelest fate of them all. Maybe shunning would have been better because at least they would still have themselves. This way they lost themselves and in consequence, others who loved them, they lost everything.

If you don't love and appreciate yourself how can others? Not only did they lose their spark, but also the wonderful magic they once possessed. Every fairy has a different kind of magic but all of it is twinkling and beautiful. However, for these poor unfortunate fairies, it was never the same after they gave up their search for The One. Somehow their magic became ordinary, and they started using it for the same purpose people use technology, to get something done.

For me, that is blasphemy because magic is not just a tool to use, magic is a beauty in itself. Magic is fun and freedom and all the possibilities that ever were and ever will be. Magic is around you, but you are also being shaped by it. It is as much a part of you as you are part of it. It is the power and the possibility, the joy and the sadness. Magic is all there is in the universe and you can channel it through yourself and give joy to the world. But if you lose your true self you lose the understanding of this mesmerizing beauty.

No matter how difficult my life might become, I refuse to lose myself and the precious jewel that is my magic! Come what may I have made my decision! I shall not marry if I do not find my own true love!

On the one hand, I am terrified of this ironclad decision I have just made, on the other hand, I am morbidly curious. Will they really shun me from the fairy society? What does that really mean?

The only thing I do know is that I do not break this law lightly but for a just reason. What I still cannot fathom is why they made such a rigid and narrow-minded rule in the first place. Fairies were not born to follow the fairy rules but to help others and have fun. Fairies were born to be the amazing creatures they are and as for me, I will try to do that instead of following senseless rules imposed by my society.