9. Fun, the year of the Unicorn 

Dear diary,

I talked with Van, but he seemed to need some time to process the information, so I begged him not to say anything until he thought it through. We agreed that he should sleep on it, so I guess tomorrow, I will finally be able to see if we are on the same page or not.

To distract myself and you, I shall tell you a bit more about the fairy culture.

What I chose to talk about today are fairy drinks. The reason for that? Well, let's just say that I have spent a lot of time with them today.

As I mentioned before, there are many drinks fairies like to drink, but that can also depend on the type of fairies we are talking about.

For example, not surprisingly, water fairies prefer to drink water from lakes, streams, and oceans. That is their favorite drink, and they don't care much about other drinks.

Flower fairies, such as myself, usually prefer nectar of flowers because it is simply delicious. As I already mentioned, I like some other drinks as well. The nectar is just a general preference.

I guess I am special because I don't like to keep to the norm, even when it comes to drinking preferences. Who is to say that flower fairies should only drink the nectar, and who is to say that all the water fairies have to prefer water. I love to mix it up a bit.

Some fairies require just a small sip of dew or a drop of nectar which is surprising to me since I need much more than that. There are also many others whose drink preferences are usually obvious from their names, but we all share one, secret love.

All of us like to mix up a new, colorful, and delicious drink, from time to time, I believe humans refer to that as cocktails. Of course, our version is much more potent and delicious. I don't believe any of the humans would be able to bear it.

We mix a lot of different flower nectars, some magical potions, and many other ingredients, some of which I am unable to divulge even here. Many recipes are handed down for generations and are of course top secret.

The finished product looks heavenly if I do say so myself. Like a piece of heavens has been turned into a drink.

My favorite one is something I like to call the Green Fire, although it is not its actual name. It is a drink which is in different shades of green. On the bottom, it is light green, and towards the top, it gradually turns into dark green. Then, a green fire is lighted at the top of it, and it becomes an incredible sight to see.

The taste is difficult to describe since it has a lot of purely fairy ingredients, but I guess I could describe it as in equal measure refreshing and sweet. For me, that is a perfect combination for long summer days.

However, sometimes, I do prefer some fairy shots, since they are so fun to drink. I know that you probably didn't expect us to have something like that, but what can I say, we love finer things in life. As for the fairy shots, they are very colorful and shiny. As you have probably noticed by now, I love sparkly things.

There are usually three basic colors in those shots. At the bottom, there is dark red, then bright yellow, and finally dark green. All of that is complemented by the golden fairy dust-like substance, swirling around the glasses (I am sworn to secrecy never to reveal what it is) which makes it so sparkly, and fun to watch.

Of course, drinking it is even more fun since there is this special fizzy sensation that is like nothing you have ever experienced. It feels like the flavor is simply popping in your mouth reaching all the taste buds at the same time.

Once the drink goes down your throat, it feels so smooth that it is impossible to describe the sensation in a way that would do it justice. The only thing that I do know for sure is that once you drink it, you are buzzing with life and joy.

These drinks, as I mentioned earlier, are not recommended for humans, or even elves. They may have adverse effects on their physique, that is to say, it might turn them into different types of animals or make them puke their hearts out.

Not everyone is blessed with the fairies' immaculate constitution, and this is just another way in which that is reflected. I am not the one to brag, but the truth is quite obvious, only we are strong enough for the adventure these drinks represent.

Even for fairies, it is sometimes not so easy to stand those drinks. Some fairies lose all sense of who they are and go blindly dancing in the woods or something similar, but that is not so far from normal fairy behavior, so it doesn't worry us.

As for me, I love those special fairy drinks because they make me feel like anything is possible like the world is my oyster. It feels like all my dreams could finally come true.

I guess that is the main reason why I started consuming these beverages more often these days. With everything that is happening in my life, I need something to lift me, when everything else fails.

Honestly, some things that trouble me are entirely my fault. I keep forgetting to communicate what I am feeling, and that always comes back to bite me in the face. Especially with Van, I love him so much, but oftentimes, I fail to interact with him properly. I keep giving him hints of what I need, but never come out and say it as I did recently.

The thing I realized is that I can't afford to be subtle. After all, Van is male, and for them to understand what you want, you have to come out and say it in simple words. For so long, I was trying to stop myself from communicating with anyone about my true emotions that I forgot how to let it all go and do what I need to do, be who I am.

It probably sounds strange to you, that I would find it so hard to talk honestly, but in the fairy society, it is difficult to do so. Everyone just assumes that I am happy and playful like we should all be, and I am, but that is not always the case.

Sometimes, dark clouds roll in and I have to pretend. I hate pretending. Although I know I am perfect just the way I am, sometimes the false lives other fairies live, make me doubt myself.

So in the past, I would share some of my thoughts and emotions with my friends, but it wasn't as common as it should have been. Maybe if the fairies did so more often, we wouldn't have been so judgmental and old-fashioned, I don't know.

In my current situation, I feel like I need at least one person with whom I can communicate, and I choose Van. I will probably always choose him, because there is something in the way he sees me, sees us, that makes me want to be a better person, and stay with him forever.

He sees me for who I truly am, not some perfected version of myself that he created in his mind. He sees the truth. And the amazing thing about it is that he accepts, and loves me just the way I am. Van doesn't need me to be a perfect fairy or a perfect girlfriend, he just needs me to be me, and that is such a relief.

The funny thing is that it is the same for me. I, who have searched my entire life for perfection, have chosen an imperfect guy, and I couldn't be happier.

Even after this small hiccup with us being inseparable, I still know that we make each other better. We help each other become better people, and we love each other immensely. What more can a fairy ask for?

Although I have always felt like I have led a joyous life, only now do I truly understand what happiness and freedom are.

Oh, sorry, I got carried away again.

I think it's time to go and make another delicious drink.

Until next time.