The horse beneath us whiffed contently as Kheelan pulled the reins and we slowed to a steady trot. After riding hard for about two days without stopping, I was shocked the poor mare didn't just rear and toss us to the ground for having driven her so hard. If only there had been another choice. I wasn't fond of having to flee so soon after arriving in Gri'ah, but the chance of Xanthus tracking my powers was enough to keep us all awake and alert. I'm sure we weren't the only ones that sensed the danger.

After finding Kheelan... after our kiss, we set off instantly for Coleck--the Resistance base camps. By that morning we'd crossed over dozens of uninhabited plains, avoiding all towns along the way. We stuck to the untraveled, uneven grounds of the forest. Everything looked the same, and by that night, it started to feel as if we were going around in circles. It had the same dizzying effect in my head.

 What times we did stop had been for water or debate over the alternate routes leading to Coleck. Vurim insisted we not travel directly there as to dilute my output of lingering powers. That took two days. We left trails of power, weaving loops around places that led to dead ends and cliff ends. On the third sunrise, it was announced that Coleck was our next destination. That's where nervousness swept in on the back of the thick mist we rode through.

 In front of us, Aeval stopped with Vurim close behind. A cool breeze rustled through the thick brambles and trees, sending crimson leaves brushing through the air like red paint strokes. In the midst of it all, Aeval lowered her hood and and tilted back her head, shaking out a flurry of whitish blond hair that whisked in the gentle waves of the breeze. Her cheeks were flushed from the ride, and it made her look more human... approachable even. I admit to a hint of jealousy. I'd been through hell and back and probably looked like it.

 She let out a satisfied sigh and climbed lithely off her horse. She turned to us with a slight giggle. "That was the most excitement I've had in a while-worthwhile excitement at least. You always bring me exactly what I need," she told Kheelan, her blue eyes narrowing playfully. She looked at me then with a beaming smile. "Had it not been at your expense, I would have thanked you."

 From beside her, Vurim scoffed. "I hardly think excitement is the word, Aeval, really," he chastised her, to where she rolled her eyes to the heavens. From behind me, Kheelan chuckled lightly at her expression. I shifted uncomfortably, feeling the rumble of his laugh against my back.

 Vurim continued his diatribe. "She nearly lost her life to that brute, Loch. I told you he should've been dealt with ages ago, but you chose to keep him for whatever maddening reason."

 She wrinkled her nose mockingly at Vurim's anger. "My maddening reason was keeping us safe. Loch was so preoccupied keeping the Resistance out, he didn't even realize they were right under his nose."

 I looked at each of them, my expression asking the question louder than my words ever could. With what information I was given during our journey, I pieced together the pieces of the puzzle. They'd explained Aeval's role in the Resistance, and why she and Vurim were helping us, but the pieces didn't fit into a proper picture by a long shot.

 "So run this by me again," I said to Aeval. "You're not the cold hearted witch I met back at Gri'ah... and you work for the Resistance..."

 Aeval nodded, slipping off her cloak and draping it over her saddle. "That is correct, though I'm certain some still consider me a witch, don't they love?" she said more to her horse, while uttering simple words and stroking it adoringly.

 I thought over what she said and what I'd learned over the past few days. Kheelan took our small reprieve as a chance to dismount. He had little trouble. My legs on the other hand were wobbly, and my thighs felt like I'd been straddling a furnace, instead of a horse.

 With my feet on the ground, I couldn't help but dig into her a little more. "Yes, I'm sure your own people-you know, the same ones without a proper flame to keep them warm still consider you a witch. And I'm having a little trouble seeing you as otherwise considering you support the Resistance yet you have a Domis of your own?" My tone was sharp as it was harsh, but she hadn't exactly been very approachable when we first met. Kheelan put a warning hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off. I didn't want him protecting her. She was his lover. What was I supposed to do with that? Bile rose into my throat at the thought.

 She shrugged. "Fair enough. Everything is much better when all secrets are out in the open. I suppose I'll go first seeing as I am Queen," she said in feigned haughtiness. It was disturbing seeing her this way, so laxed and... normal.

 "I was appointed Councilor of Human Relations of the South by Kheelan's father," she said. "I spearhead the freedom of Domis' in Gri'ah, and the surrounding regions. The main goal of the Resistance, aside from freeing all the Domis of this world, is to protect the veil, which is why we are helping you."

 "This is the main reason I brought us to Gri'ah," Kheelan said from behind me. "I knew of all places you'd be safe, it would be Gri'ah."

 I wanted to laugh at how wrong that had turned out. My mind though stuck onto various other issues like a stubborn child wanting to cling onto a displaced anger. "But, your people were suffering. How does starving people that factor into anything?"

 "My people are heartless, in case you haven't noticed," she said fisting the horse's mane and letting the strands flow fluidly through her fingers. Her smile was gone. "They're the ones that wanted you dead, remember?"

 Vurim stepped in, noting the snip in her voice and the glare I shot her. "There are plenty of other kingdoms who are against the Domis trade, and have enacted laws against it," he told me. "If any Fae in the land of Gri'ah was against it, they would move to those lands, thus abandoning Gri'ah. But they remain because they support human enslavement. Sadly, if given the chance, all of those Fae who watched as Kheelan reprimanded you would have done it themselves, and gone as far as branding you to make you their Domis. The only reason there was not a bigger outcry when Kheelan failed to brand you was because I was there. Otherwise..." He nodded once, glumly. My heart swelled in that instant realizing the risk Kheelan took in not branding me. I rubbed my arms and met his eyes for a brief moment. Any longer and I would have dissolved.

 Aeval cut in. "Fae have been imprisoning and torturing humans since The Shattering. Now not only do we deal with Domis born of this world, but they still smuggle them across from the human realm. I'm out of sympathy. I've been fighting my own people for too long to let them go unpunished. I'm just as heartless as they are, only I do it for the humans I swore to protect."

 I wasn't ready to let her off the hook just yet and with Ivan's warning in my head, I couldn't help the skepticism in my voice. "Then why is the Resistance constantly trying to get to you? Vurim said attacks had intensified in Gri'ah, but they'd never managed to break into the inner kingdom, to you."

 "And that's exactly what I want everyone to think," she replied. "In their last two raids of the kingdom, the Resistance has freed over 200 Domis. While Loch was occupied keeping the inner castle safe, the outer quarters were more penetrable. Look Charlotte, I know my conduct when we first met was less than favorable, but it is a mask I must wear every day for the rest of my life if I want to continue helping the Resistance, until every human in our realm is free. Sure it would be easier to free all the Domis in my kingdom, but that would do our cause more harm than good. Once I enforce laws to stop the trade of Domis, then the slave trade will stop coming in my direction, and it would be harder to free them. But if they are in my kingdom, every few months, I organize a raid and have the captured Domis freed. Then I call for more to be delivered. It's a sick cycle, but eventually the Domis get their freedom. We are all doing our part. Just as Ivan will sacrifice your love in becoming Grace, I have sacrificed my beliefs for the greater good of the Resistance. And just like you, Charlotte, it is all about appearances. Not everything is what it seems, but I don't need to tell you that, do I?"

 I felt the blood drain from my face. The bit about Ivan stood out, but so did the part about secrets. How much did she know? Suddenly I found myself with no words with which to ask.

 "Don't worry, I told them everything," Kheelan said coming up beside me. He handed me a flask of water, but I could only stare straight ahead. I felt as if cold water had been dumped on my head. It was dizzying. He came around me and I flicked my eyes to him. If my look was a dagger, Kheelan would've been speared straight through.

 He sighed weightily. "I never intended to, but once you were taken, I needed their help. It worked out in our favor because it appears the Resistance base camp was our next stop. Elena told me what you'd discovered before you were taken-"

 "Elena? She's..."

 Kheelan nodded with a small smile. My heart did a little flip of joy, but I didn't smile back. I was glad Elena was alive, but my anger at Kheelan hammered in my veins.

 Kheelan stepped closer. "I didn't tell you all of this before because I didn't want to burden you with talk of the Resistance, and all the political dangers in our world. You had enough to deal with and I needed you to feel safe."

 I scoffed. "And how much more are you keeping from me?" I asked, suddenly feeling a fist in my throat.

 "I should have told you," Kheelan said. "I realize that now. It would have made it easier to trust Aeval, and I'm sorry I kept that from you. But my father trusted Aeval, Charlotte, and I do as well. She has always been on our side, and she has my full confidence. As does Vurim."

 With Ivan's warning strumming in the back of my mind, I couldn't accept Kheelan's words. We'd run into enough trouble to let our circle get any bigger. I couldn't trust her.

 Noting the sudden tension, Aeval and Vurim excused themselves and led their horses to a small pasture where they spoke amongst themselves. Somehow, my legs felt weak, though all I wanted to do was walk away. I managed a slight distance, needing space and more air than I could get by Kheelan.

 Pushing through a dense brush, I took to an aimless walk back and forth in a small clearing. The weeds got the brunt of my anger as I plucked them and tore them to shreds. Looking over to Kheelan, he was handing Aeval the rein to our horse, saying a few words to her and Vurim. I plucked a handful of dandelions this time, fighting the urge to set them all on fire. She unsettled me, badly. I didn't get the prickling feeling from Vurim, and very much believed he was out to help us. But Aeval... I couldn't get past her. And seeing Kheelan with her, it just confounded things. Ivan told me not to trust anyone, but Kheelan had just taken that and sparked a flame to it.

 Moments later, Kheelan's shadow darkened the ground as the torn and ripped flowers flowed to their resting place. He went to cradle my shoulders, but I moved away vehemently. "We have an endless string of both Seelie and Unseelie after us, and you decide to dump all our information on this one girl who could be leading us straight into a trap. After everything we've been through, Mirad included-who may I remind you was like a brother to you-you go and tell her all of our business. How do you know this isn't all a ploy? Oh, but leave it to you to fall for a pretty face and toss everything to hell for it? Just go away. I want to be alone."

 His shoulders slumped with a sigh, but he didn't leave. "My father and Vurim were very close friends," Kheelan rumbled from behind me. "Vurim in turn instructed Aeval in the way of the Resistance after she displayed some favorable qualities."

 I snorted. "Favorable qualities, I'm sure." Pins and needles pricked my skin from the inside in a quiet anger.

 "She interfered when a Domis was being punished. It takes a lot of bravery to do something like that in our world, especially when it was against her own brother that she stood up against."

 Hearing the slight offense in his voice, I gathered my fists at my sides. "If she works for the Resistance, then what about the Domis she keeps... the one playing the piano?" I rebuffed. I plucked another vine and fought the urge to fling it back at Kheelan.

 He chuckled lightly. "He is as much her Domis as she is his, Charlotte."

 "Do you really think I need a riddle right now?" I said, tossing the splintered vines at his feet.

 He clarified, "In human terms, I suppose you can say he's her husband-but in secret, of course. He only pretends to be her Domis, but they are very much together. He works for the Resistance-- his whole family in fact. They can be trusted, Charlotte."

 I stumbled on the beginning of words for a few long moments. "But I thought you and her..."

 Kheelan smiled. "Aeval just told you appearances are everything. When I was younger I would deliver messages from my father to all the Resistance accomplices. Normally they were nominal members of society and so it was easy to say that they were in need of some healing. Aeval however had her own healers, appointed by her father who was still King at the time. It would have looked suspicious for her to have called upon me. She never would have needed me. So the next best reason for us being alone was to pretend we were lovers. No one would question that, and my reputation certainly didn't dissuade it. We had to keep up pretenses, at least until she was Queen."

 His words echoed in my ears, all the way to the darkest parts of me. I gripped the nearest tree feeling utterly breathless and bereft. It was here that the clouds parted in my mind. The memory I had had back when we first arrived in Gri'ah replayed in my head. Only now, I could see faces. Kheelan was the one giving the girl the flower. And that girl was Aeval. Apparently it was Maris that had been watching them, but why it bothered her still evaded me. There were answers there, but the relief I felt overcame the faint memories, and it all vanished. My legs gave out a little, when Kheelan appeared behind me.

 "What's wrong?" he asked, blue eyes brimming with worry. He settled me back against a tree while I caught my breath.

 I shook my head groggily. "I... I just feel lightheaded," I lied, wiping my tears that were now falling freely. I couldn't explain to Kheelan that it felt like the knot that was in my stomach had suddenly untangled having heard him say that he and Aeval weren't lovers. My chest clenched, and I lowered my head into my hands. "I'm okay now," I said, gathering slow breaths. Looking up at Kheelan, he nodded, still confused.

 "You were saying," I prompted him again after I came back to myself a little. "About Aeval..."

 "Right," he paused for a moment, clearly ascertaining I was okay before starting again. "Well, when her father passed, we handled a few things to assure that she would reign. I suppose we grew closer then--because of what I had to do, but we were never lovers."

 I chuckled. "Handle... I don't think I'll ever tire of hearing that word..."

 Kheelan didn't share in my laugh. He actually looked away, very solemn. His hands slipped down my arms until falling away completely. He sat back on a downed log, and in meeting his eyes again and seeing the mix of emotions chasing each other in his stare, my own smile withered.

 "I've never been one to be able to do things and chalk them off to duty," he said. "Honor, yes--but not duty. After Aeval's father, King Alozek passed, her brother Riodan was crowned King. I in turn was ordered to handle matters and clear the way for her reign. I did," he revealed quietly, the shame palpable. "There are few healers that can isolate a life strain within the makeup of a life, and drain it quickly. No one can trace the power back to the healer. When that ability is discovered, the healer is called to be an assassin for Her Majesty, Alistrina. My father kept my ability a secret, and I became very instrumental for the Resistance." He shrugged absently. "With Aeval as my alibi, and no proof of my power to drain a life force, no one suspected anything. She became Queen... for the greater good..." Kheelan leaned forward onto his knees and clasped his hands. He didn't say anything further.

 I could tell he'd never shared this with anyone, and it only made me feel that much closer to him. I walked the short distance and sat beside him. I slipped one of my hands between his and squeezed gently. The other, I ran down his back. I could feel the tense muscle beneath his shirt. "Thank you for telling me," I said against his shoulder. "I'm sorry you had to do it. It wasn't fair of them to ask you to carry that burden. It does suck-the killing part. I don't mind the powers as much, but the killing feels new every time, and I don't think it will ever get old. At least I don't want it to. I never want to kill and not feel anything."

 Kheelan looked down to our joined hands, as his thumb grazed mine. "It depends. Something like Riodan I carry with me all the time. But the way I handled Sam, I'll never regret that.... I'd handle anyone that dared touch you without a thought or regret...."

 I looked to him, and just like that everything changed. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. Against my best wishes, I grew tense and stood up, shifting away a little. I rubbed my arms for warmth, though I had a fire tangling knots in my stomach from his touch.

 Kheelan reached out and grabbed at my cloak, staying my retreat. "Hey," he said softly and reeled me in with little effort, drawing me in front of him. My heart fluttered madly, as if suddenly it had sprouted legs and wished to run away...or run to him. I willed myself to stop shaking, but will withered when his hand cradled my arms, smoothing then down evenly, slowly. Through my dress, I felt the warmth of the feel of him, and if it weren't for my physically seeing the fabric there, I would have thought his touch burned right through to my skin.

 I didn't meet his eyes. I knew where this was going, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I'd been avoiding it for days. After my kiss with Kheelan, we hadn't spoken about it. I was glad we hadn't stopped in our escape. I still hadn't sorted anything out yet, and had nothing to offer except that I was overcome and confused. It was an awkward paradox. I wanted him by me. He was the only thing that made me feel better. Yet, I wanted to be alone. There was still so much to think about.

 But there was no thinking involved then and there, wrapped up in something neither of us understood. I didn't struggle much against it... against us. He looked up at me, his chin resting lightly on my stomach. Looking down at him, all else seemed to fade away.

I opened my mouth to speak, but instead sighed to silence. Reaching down, I weaved my hand into his hair. Despite the long ride, it still flowed through my fingers, leaving much to be desired from my tangled mess. Kheelan stood and gathered me further into his arms. He just held me there-we held each other.

 He nodded in quiet understanding against my hair. "You're unsure about us, and feel guilty about Ivan."

 "No, please. What we have--whatever it is we have, it isn't about that... well not all of it," I sighed, trying to make sense of it all. I stared out the woods, to where we were headed, to where our journey was either going to get ten times better, or a million times worse. "Everything I have been going through, it's all in Coleck, and it's terrifying," I admitted. "Nothing about this journey has been easy, and it's all been leading to this, to Coleck. Now that I'm almost there, it's like I can't get myself to actually be happy about it. It's almost over, and all I feel is this bottomless terror. It's stupid, I know, and I only made them more ridiculously difficult by kissing you..." I trailed off, humiliated.

 A minute passed and Kheelan had yet to say anything. It got that much harder to breathe. I closed my eyes to tame my heartbeats that wracked against my chest. His warmth engulfed me, sending waves of need coursing through my body to the point I shivered.

 "It's not stupid," he spoke against my ear. "And you have all the right to be scared. The past months have been a whirlwind, but we're almost there. Once we find out where the veil is, then all of this is almost over."

 I shook my head unconvinced, unable to stifle a bitter chuckle. "I envy your optimism. You seem to be forgetting that there's still Maris. There's Ivan..." I extended a blink, taming the savage guilt I felt somewhere inside. "It seems like every day, finding this veil becomes the least complicated of everything."

 He held me a little tighter against the cool breeze that rustled the leaves all around us into one quiet hush. "You have me," he said, his words fading to the quiet brushing through the forest. It brought his scent further into my lungs, a scent that was so male, and so inherently his, that I couldn't help but turn to face him.

 I cradled his face in my hands. "You're the most complicated of all."

 Kheelan turned his head and kissed my palm. His stubble ticked my palm, drawing a smile from my mouth. "We'll get through this," he said softly. "We've gotten through everything so far. When the time comes, we will figure out what will happen with Ivan and Maris...with us."

 I curled into him, finding little comfort in his words. "You said we would talk..." I said against his heart, calling to his promise back in Gri'ah. "I know I said I'd give you a week, but circumstances have changed, and I just don't want any more secrets between us. What did Aeval mean that Ivan will sacrifice our love in becoming Grace?"

 Kheelan stiffened and just let out a wordless breath.

 "I know you think you're protecting me," I pressed, "but you're not. It will only be worse if I find out on my own. What are you keeping away from me about Ivan?"

 "It's not that I'm keeping it away... I-"

 "You don't want me to know, but I need to. I'm confused about a lot of things, and I feel I can't make a sound decision until I know the facts. Please. I'm tired of being left in the dark."

 Kheelan nodded and with a hefty sigh, dropped his hands at his sides. "When we were younger-Ivan and I--our mother was appointed Grace. I think we were too young to understand the demands of the title, which was why we were estranged for some time. Ivan always understood her, but I think I took more to my father's way of thinking. Ivan has always been duty bound, as was my mother. My father always believed some feeling should go into our decisions..." Kheelan was quiet for a moment. "In becoming Grace, my mother had to give us up," he said quietly.

 "What do you mean give you up?" I asked carefully, pretty sure I didn't want to know the answer.

 Kheelan turned slowly. "When you become Grace, your duty becomes your life. You watch over the Temple, helping the elders in the balance of our worlds. It is grand work, but it is demanding, and leaves no room for anything else-no family..."

 "And no common," I realized aloud.

 Everything went quiet between us.

 "I'm sure Ivan would have resigned to his duty before being appointed Grace-"

 I held up a staying hand. In my head, it all made perfect sense. I sat down very slowly as the world pieced together before my eyes in a painful type of reality. I nodded, slowly working my way to a log... or the ground... I wasn't sure. I was sitting, and that was what mattered. "Don't make excuses for him. He knew once her Grace was killed, that he would be the next Grace. He used the excuse of me having to find myself to free himself of me, so he could walk right back to duty. Maybe he thought he wasn't hurting me this way, you know, not a concrete goodbye," I shrugged, not knowing how to feel. I wasn't surprised though. "Ivan does nothing, if it isn't required of him as duty. He remained by my side, and died for me, because as his common, it was his duty to honor me, to protect me. Once we were free of our fusion marks... he chose to leave. It all makes sense."

 Kheelan raked a hand through his hair and knelt before me. "I know you're angry, but I know he wouldn't have given you up-"

 I lowered my head. "I'm not angry. Disappointed, yes, but not angry..." I revealed. I bit my lip, embarrassed to admit that with each passing day, my memories of Ivan faded to a quiet place. It was the place where my memories of the first eighteen years of my life seemed to go. On our ride, for the sake of my sanity, I tried to recall simple things like conversations with Casey, my favorite food, my old room... I came up drawing blanks. And my feelings for Ivan warped into this same hole. I was losing myself somewhere into this darkness, but it was such an effortless fall. I'd already lost my appearance, looking more like Maris every day. And now my memories were falling prey. Yet strangely, it felt like I was losing myself to this darkness, yet finding myself in it all at the same time.

 I met Kheelan's eyes, and let my thoughts cross my mind, free for him to see. I felt ashamed. I was supposed to love this brother, yet couldn't get past him and our kiss. Ivan had hurt me over and again, but looking at Kheelan, I realized he could hurt me far worse than Ivan ever could. That was the most frightening thing of all.

 Kheelan scrutinized every inch of my face before our gazes locked. With a quiet nod, he lifted a hand to my chin. "Do you trust me?" he asked, his eyes focused solely on mine, his lips a mere whisper away.

 I nodded without the least bit hesitation. "With my life," I replied, but the last of my words died to the meeting of our lips. His hands dug deeper into my back, bringing me closer as if wanting to make me a part of his soul. A moan of protest left me as he broke our kiss.

 "Then let me figure some things out," he said against my mouth. "I don't want to tell you now because I know you'll hate me, and you'll have all the right in the world."

 "I can't ever hate you." My words were less than a whisper.

 Kheelan's eyes waved over in a light fuscia. "Just like you thought you could never love anyone other than Ivan?"

 His words hurt, and I flinched back at the pain. "That's not fair."

 Kheelan held me, keeping me close. "I'm not saying it to hurt you. I'm saying it because we can tell ourselves things a million times over, but when it comes down to it-to the choice, we can't ever predict what we'll really do. I want to believe that you won't hate me, I want nothing more. But my truth stretches beyond us both, and it's dangerous. I made some decisions in the past that can effect us both now, and I need to be certain of one thing before I reveal any of it. If I do now, I could ruin everything we're working so hard to protect."

 I narrowed my eyes. "The veil? But what does that have to do with us?"

 "More than I think we know." Kheelan brushed his lips against mine again softly, briefly. "Please. Until we get to Coleck and I know for sure whether my suspicion is right, I don't dare say anything. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you, not again." 

The fear in his words sent a shiver down my spine. Without a doubt, I knew Maris was the reason he couldn't say what he wanted to. But curiosity was close to killing me.

 Someone cleared their throat, startling us both. We turned to find Vurim a distance away.

 "Coleck waits," he said with a knowing smile and walked away.

 Kheelan squeezed my hand tightly, pulling me back to his words. "I've waited forever to have you, I'm only asking for a little more time. Can you give me that?"

 "Just until Coleck, then I want the truth," I said, leaving no room for discussion.

 "In Coleck, I will give you my truth, and every single part of me." The intensity of his words, and of his stare left me breathless. Not just because of what was said, but what lay in between the lines.

There was a world of secrets in his words, a world I would discover upon reaching Coleck. And so I nodded and let him guide us out of the brambles, back onto our journey. There was still a chance Aeval could not be trusted, or Vurim. But I did trust Kheelan, and so above all I followed him to Coleck, where the truth waited, and with it, the promise of something more frightening: his love. 

***

 Thoughts? This chapter bugs me to no end. There is something I can't put my finger on and it's driving me nuts. If up to me I'd delete it, but then you'd have to wait another two weeks for a chapter lol so this is better than nothing, right? Hope you enjoy!

<3Thanks for reading!