I bit back a gasp, horrified. My world warped to a twisted slow. For a few breaths, Kheelan glared at me, parts disappointment and parts desperation. What he said was scary, but what frightened me more was that in all the time I’d known him, I never saw Kheelan look like he did then: lost and unknowing what to do. He’d always had a plan, was always ready to go down with guns blazing. Perching his hands on the ice, he hung his head in utter defeat.

Kheelan sighed wearily. “They want torture, pain—they want to hear you scream and beg me for your life. They want to smell the blood on you, and see it on my hands.”

His words cut deep, in the place where I held the memory of her—my mother. The thought of how many times she screamed and begged for her life, hurt. I bit my lip and said nothing.

“I know this is all new to you, and I hate having to degrade you, but I’m trying to keep us alive,” he said, and though his voice was soft, there was fear. “You heard Vurim, war is imminent. Kala’el and Xanthus are going to kill Alistrina. After that, one of them will kill the other. It’s only a matter of time. Regardless of who wins, every kingdom is going to fight to protect against the opposing Court. All of Faerie will be at war, and there will be no safe place for us to hide. Now more than ever, we need to remain in Gri’ah and figure out where this map is before war breaks out.”

Anger flushed my face, though I understood him wholly.  Being his Domis was the only way he could explain travelling with a human girl, and I couldn’t blow our cover. Though I hated being demeaned…and other things I didn’t understand, the greater good was at stake.

 “So then, what now, what can I do to fix this?” I asked, swallowing the wobble in my voice. Coming up beside him, I didn’t dare touch him.

Kheelan scoffed. “You are going to do nothing. I have to figure out a way for us to walk out of here without having to explain why I’m breaking the law by not branding, or torturing you until your half dead and hanging from my arms.”

I nodded dumbly, while my brain pieced together something of a plan. “Would they be satisfied if they saw blood? You have to punish me in some way for them to not come at us with pitch forks right?”

Kheelan chuckled bitterly. “A little glamour isn’t going to fool them.”

“I’m not talking about glamour…”

Kheelan stared blankly for a minute, the smoke from his breaths clouding the confusion in his gaze. I unclasped the cloak, and let it fall to the muddy ground. When I turned around, Kheelan sucked in a breath so hard I thought I heard his ribs crack. He grew quiet, and seemed to disappear behind me. Looking through his eyes, I wanted to disappear too.

Muscle and bones peeked through charred flesh, the fibers from my sweater melted to the twisted black skin that remained hanging from my back.  Kheelan’s hands shot up instinctively, but hovered at my back, hesitant. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to heal me, but the sight was gruesome, he was too afraid to touch, too shocked by my disfigurement, too hurt by my pain.

“Why didn’t…,” his voice cracked, sounding breathless. Through his eyes, everything blurred. “Why didn’t you tell me you were hurt? Why--I could have healed you—I need to heal you—”

“No!” I spun and shot a hand up between us. “They need to believe you punished me. They’ll see the blood, and my skin, and think that you did it.”

Kheelan went white with offense, his eyes blinking black. “You expect me to leave you bleeding and in pain--Damn it, Charlotte, I’ve broken oaths for you, but not this. This is where I draw the line. It is my duty to heal you. Turn around!” he roared, a crack splintering our ice prison from one end to the other. I shifted back a few steps, refusing. Kheelan seized my wrist and whirled me around, but I jerked away. My feet tangled, and my bare back slammed against the cold wall. I screamed so loud, the ice around us vibrated. My sights darkened as the pain throbbed, and my knees gave way beneath me.

Kheelan caught me before I hit the ground. He ushered me down, a wave of cool shooting through me., With what little strength I had, I tore myself from Kheelan’s arms and scurried back to the middle of our shelter.

 “Please—” I begged.

 “You’re in pain!”

“Not more than the pain I’ve caused you!”

Kheelan froze. His eyes glittered through a spectrum of colors as my words haunted us, resonating in our icy prison until they vanished to deathly silence and cold.We looked at each other for a moment, each clouded breath an unspoken word between us. He leaned against the ice, lifted his knees to his elbows and let his head fall into his hands. Defeat.

 I dug my fingers into the wet earth and dragged myself in front of him.  There was the chance he could grab me and heal me by force. But this was Kheelan, and I trusted him with my life. Braving the coldness of his stare, I cupped my hands over his and lowered his hands. He didn’t look at me. His knees lowered at either side of me, and I moved closer.

“This isn’t about duty anymore, remember? We need to do things we don’t want to do—those are your words,” I said, brushing away sweat clung strands of hair from his face.  Kheelan didn’t move, his body cold. I wished my touch would comfort him, ease him, heal him the way his touch always did me. I knew it couldn’t, so I used words instead.

“I screwed up, I know, and I’m always putting you in these positions. But you have to do this. You have to let me hurt.” Not wanting to think of the pain that was coming, I took Kheelan's wrists in my trembling hands. I shut my eyes and led them around me.

Kheelan made to move, but I held him with a strength that came from somewhere deep. I met him eye to eye, breath to breath, and he stopped fighting me. He knew I was right, I could see it in how my words seemed to thaw the iciness around us, droplets of water raining on our heads. He was still unsure, and it stopped raining.

I cupped his cheek in my hand, a weak smile on my lips. “For once, let me save you.”

Kheelan met my stare, and his one slow breath was his white flag. “Were you always this damn stubborn with Ivan?” he whispered against my neck.

“No, but I should have been,” I replied, and before either of us could think anything over, Kheelan pressed his hands against my back and held me against him. Pain stabbed me, and I buried my head in his chest, screaming against the pounding of his heart.

My blood smeared in his hands,and tears cascaded down my cheeks. The ice prison exploded around us, crashing like a chandelier. I was certain the pain would have brought me to the brink of death, but it wasn't until I saw myself through Kheelan's eyes, hanging half dead from his arms that I blacked out. His pain was worse than mine.

                                                                           ***

A piano.

It was the first thing I heard when I came back to myself, out of my pain induced sleep. I remember very little of what happened in the city. There are smoky images of cold eyes watching me, satisfied smirks on the faces of the gathered Fae as Kheelan walked with me draped in his arms. I remember little spurts of coolness washing against my skin, and Kheelan’s voice. I remember his voice most of all, not the words…just that soothing melody.

Looking around, it was clear we weren’t in the city anymore. We were riding along a cobblestone path, leading to a clearing up ahead. There was a white gazebo made of twisted barks in the middle of this lush green field.  Fae stood on the outskirts, their hands flicking in the air as if directing an invisible symphony. Their crystal eyes were lifted toward the clouds, and following their gaze, I saw their symphony wasn’t invisible at all. Snowflakes fell slowly, swaying to the beat of their hands.

“Her Majesty was in the mood for snow,” Vurim said, shaking his head solemnly. Though wounded and weakened, I was aghast. Her people suffered in the cold, and Queen Aeval wished for snow.  I didn’t want to care. It’s that moment you wonder, why the hell am I doing this? Why was I fighting for these Fae? Why… But that was just the pain talking, and the sadness. There was always the sadness.

 Vurim motioned for us to wait, not that we had a choice. There were wraiths stationed at the four points of the field, and the one nearest us purred lowly, no doubt smelling my blood and my humanity. Vurim walked through the veiling snowflakes and stopped beside a white couch in the center of the gazebo. He bowed, spoke a few words to a figure out of sight and after a moment, bowed again and motioned for us to approach. 

Kheelan dismounted, and slid me down into his arms. There was a white wicker bench under an awning of a tree, and Kheelan set me down. He knelt before me, but kept his hands on either side of me, not touching me. Still, I could feel him around me and the coolness at my back. I gave him a look through weary eyes. He just couldn’t keep from trying to heal me.

“Bad habit,” he whispered into my mind, his eyes flicking a pale yellow for a moment.  I tried a half smile, but I was tired, really tired.

“I’m going to make you whole again, and I’m not taking no for an answer.” The intensity in his eyes was like hands wrapped around my lungs, and I lowered my eyes, knowing I needed to breathe to survive, and knowing there was more to those words than I was equipped to understand that moment.

The music stopped. The piano player stood and my heart pounded. He was human. Branding marks stained his colorless skin, matching the raven black hair shielding his downcast eyes. His white shirt was stained, blood seeping from various puncture marks on his neck and at his wrists. My heart hurt and Vurim’s shoulders seemed to slump in an exhale. He motioned for the piano player to leave. The human fleetingly looked up, tired brown eyes blazing with silent fury. He lowered them once more and walked off to a path on the right, away from us until vanishing behind the bushes.

“Stay here with Elena,” Kheelan whispered, demanding my attention. Every breath dissolved the snowflakes between us. Instantly his glamour expanded, a silent apology flashing across his blue eyes.  In a blink the blue was gone and I stared into icy, black pits, almost as if he’d put on a mask. Watching his hands fall from beside me, I realized that’s exactly what he’d done. I didn’t know this Kheelan, this Fae. I’d gotten a glimpse of him when we’d first met: the uberconfident, predatory, icy Faerie that killed with little remorse. But that wasn’t who he was anymore. He was still confident, but not icy…never that. He stood slowly, and my stomach twisted.  I wanted to reach for Kheelan to keep him from going to her but I warped my hands into one another. We had to do things we didn’t like, and that was why I had to let him go to her.

He walked toward the snowy shelter, and a woman sat up slowly. Her glamour shot across the field like shards of glass stabbing my back, my neck, my face. I gripped the seat tighter, digging my nails into the bark until they bled.

I’d felt various types of glamour. There had been the slight waves of glamour used to make a Fae seem more human, like Ivan frequently used in our realm. There was the glamour used to feign loyalty, like Mirad. There was the frightening glamour possessed by my father, glamour of death. Then there was glamour meant to entice, to seduce, like Kala’el…like the type Queen Aeval used as Kheelan approached.

 “She’s relentless. I feel it too. It’s because we’re here,” Elena said sliding down beside me. “She doesn’t like other women…notice all her servants are male.”

I looked around. It was true, from the snow players, to the guards, to the maid that took Kheelan’s cloak, all male.

“Lucky for you, you’re the human supposedly bedding her lover,” Elena said, smirking. Leave it to her to make me feel better.

I shifted my attention back to Kheelan, still connected to his mind. His thoughts were blank, but when Queen Aeval stood and turned to him, his skin burned with desire. He was drawn to her, and I couldn’t blame him. Queen Aeval’s golden tresses hung past her waist in rippling waves, glowing against her pale skin and rosy cheeks. Green eyes sparkled like frozen emeralds, fixed solely on Kheelan, hungrily. She looked young…about my age, though I’m sure that was not the case.

 “They told me you’d come and I simply couldn’t believe it!” Even her voice sounded like harps. “The last time you were here, you left so fast, I wasn’t quite quenched of you. Then I heard about Her Grace and I was sure I would never see you again…” she held out a hand, pouting. “Won’t you come closer so I can properly greet you and offer you my condolences?”

Kheelan stood on the first step, a warm aura radiating from his body. He slid his hand into Queen Aeval’s and every hair on my body stood on end. Placing a kiss on her hand, they stared at each other for a lingering moment—a moment too long. Aeval broke their gaze and flicked her eyes over his shoulder to Elena, threateningly. Suddenly it got harder to breathe, and the ground froze at our feet.

“Seems like I’m not the only one she thinks is bedding her lover,” I told Elena. She simply arched a brow and scoffed, amused. A gust of wind nearly thrust me from my chair, but Elena held a hand in front of me to keep me from tumbling across the field like a dead leaf. What the hell was she doing?

“She’s just a  friend, Aeval. I’m here for you, remember?” Kheelan purred and warded off Queen Aeval. She pursed her lips and looked back to Kheelan with a smirk. The ground beneath us thawed and I let out a breath, Elena a small laugh. She wasn’t scared of Aeval. I was.

“Come,” she led Kheelan by the hand into the gazebo. “A room has been prepared for your lady friend, she may retire. Vurim, be a darling and show her to her rooms. Also deposit of the Domis in the holding chambers along the way. Kheelan won’t have need for her…” she smiled wickedly and pulled Kheelan.

Kheelan didn’t follow. “I would like nothing better than to join you, but we both know how dangerous it is for an unmarked Domis to be left unattended.” Kheelan replied, his voice a low purr.

Queen Aeval’s gaze flicked to me, and the angel suddenly became a demon. A scowl rushed across her face, her seductive glamour slipping. “Tsk, tsk, Kheelan, how careless of you to not have branded her yet,” she chastised him playfully. There was nothing innocent about her stare. Plain and simple, she wanted me dead.

“I had all intentions, but we were then attacked by your Migols—What were they doing unattended and out of the palace walls? You know that is against treaty laws…”

Aeval rolled her eyes and turned away, thankfully. “Spare me the lectures, Kheelan. You sound like Vurim, always reminding me of rules, and treaties, and obligations and stupidities. Sometimes I wonder, with his love for the humans, if he is traitor that aids the Resistance…”

Vurim’s face twisted with anger and offense. He slammed his staff on the ground and it trebled beneath us with a boom.  “My loyalties to Alistrina and the Seelie Kingdom have never been questioned, not even by Alistrina herself, nor by your parents who ruled this kingdom with the grace and honor you lack. Look at the horror you’ve made of it.”

The ground flashed over in black ice, just as Aeval’s eyes. She slithered to Vurim, stroking his staff with one finger. Slowly it dissolved to ice chips. “If you weren’t such a staple in Gri’ah, I would have tossed you to the Migols long ago—”

Kheelan stepped between them. “Vurim, Aeval is young. She will learn to rule with time,” he said over his shoulder, and then turned to Aeval. “And your people are not stupidities. They are suffering and you refuse to help. You’re better than this, Aeval.”

“Am I?” she smiled widely, retracting her hand from Vurim’s staff and wrapped her arms around Kheelan’s neck. “Maybe you will show me how good I am?”

Kheelan scowled and unwound her arms from around him. He stepped back, but she grabbed his arm. Giggling, she fell into his chest, caressing his jaw, followed by sleepy kisses. “I’m sorry, I’m just so happy to see you and you’re no fun when you’re uptight. You’ve become your brother. Goodness, Ivan was such a bore! It’s unsurprising he’ll become the next Grace. Please don’t tell me you plan on leaving me and going to that dreary ceremony. When is it—ah, right, next Blinding Moon. No, you can’t go. That is only two weeks from today. That is hardly enough time for us to finish what we started the last time,” she purred.

“He must go to the assigning ceremony. All of Alistrina’s officials must be present,” Vurim snipped.

“Not until I am satisfied. I will forbid anyone to mention you are here so Alistrina will not know where you are. Afterwards, we’ll say you were helping me defend the palace against the Resistance. There is no way Alistrina can reprimand you then.” Aeval grinned.  “Besides, after the way Ivan betrayed you—”

 “Ivan is his brother!” Vurim argued. “Regardless of what happened between them,  he must go. The Temple of Souls has been reconstructed. Once Ivan becomes Grace and goes to the Temple, Kheelan will never—“

Kheelan cut the connection between us.  I shot back, instincts jolting me to stand in protest.

“Remember your place, Domis,” Elena said warningly, and gripped my hand tightly as if scared I would do something stupid. If cursing and demanding to be told about Ivan was stupid, then it’s a good thing she held me down. Her eyes casually slid to the guard over our shoulder. I took the hint and reluctantly sat back.

“You haven’t figured it out yet, have you?”  She released my hand and shook her head cynically.  “Of course you haven’t. Had you known, you never would have let Ivan go. I sure as hell wouldn’t have,” she said blandly. If there was one thing I’d learned about Elena was that she was anything but bland. Everything about her, and what she said was always passionate and dark, like a wild storm. Her deadened answer scared me.

Before I could ask, I was sucked back into Kheelan’s world.                                 

 “But I do wish for them to keep their petty problems away from here,” Aeval waved her hand dismissively. “I will not let them dampen my mood. I have called for a feast in your honor. We shall dance, we shall sing.”

Aeval swirled between the snowflakes, her hands in the air. She giggled, and I seized my seat tighter, fighting against a wave of nausea. Her laugh rippled in my ears. I heard it everywhere. Elena took hold of my arm, keeping me steady. It was her laugh…the same I heard in my vision. My head wanted to burst with memories that I couldn’t remember.

“Forgive me, Aeval, but I am afraid I can only stay two—three days at most. Then I must go.” Kheelan’s voice eased my insides, and I closed my eyes to keep the world from spinning around me.

“You will not deny me this, Kheelan. You will stay the week and I will keep your presence here a secret.  We will dance, sing…love, and then you can go.”

Kheelan grew rigid, and I broke out into a cold sweat. We couldn’t stay the week. For a fact I knew though I couldn’t feel Maris, it was becoming easier for her to access my mind. I was helpless against it. Nothing I could do would keep the seals from corroding. We were running out of time, and two days in Gri’ah was all we could spare. We had to find the map.

 “A week, and then I must go,” Kheelan sighed. The rest of his words fell on deaf ears as my heart strummed a weird rhythm that left me breathless.

Aeval squealed, and clasped her hands together. “Go, deposit of your Domis, and I will meet you in my rooms. You do remember where they are, don’t you?”

Kheelan smiled, and drew close to her ear. “How could I ever forget?”

Aeval stepped back, her depthless eyes ravenously absorbing every ounce of Kheelan. She whisked off, her surrounding maids scurrying behind her, and the snow stopped falling. I clenched my hands to my sides, they were shaking. He said we would be staying two days, but,

“He lied,” I breathed. He lied. My heart broke, and deep inside, I heard Maris’ voice before she vanished into the thudding of my heartbeats. Her words?

It isn’t the first time...

***

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