We were escorted back to the rooms where I was allowed to stay with Kheelan. His apartment was on the same wing as Queen Aeval's (not a surprise) and Elena's was down the hall. I wasn't too thrilled about us splitting up. For one, I didn't trust anyone, but Elena had proven more than once that she could handle herself. Elena was also equally pissed that we'd be staying a week, instead of the two days Kheelan promised. As soon as she was shown her room, she walked in and slammed the door without a word.

Since it was clear Elena wasn't going to divulge any more information regarding Ivan becoming Grace, I didn't mind staying with Kheelan. Unfortunately, in reaching our room, there was an entire wait staff...waiting, which meant I'd have to wait longer for my answers.

As Kheelan passed out orders for new garments, food and other things that blurred in my ears, I struggled through the rooms, needing a shower and a bed, in that order. I found the bathroom at the end of a tunneled hallway of closed doors. The circular room was inviting. Sheer white curtains hung from the cieling, draping onto the marble floor. A circular tub of crystal blue waters sparkled in the middle of the room, and from the ceiling, water cascaded into the pool indefinitely. Floating above the sparkling blue waters were the red flowers from my vision. Making mental note to ask Kheelan about the flowers, I shooed the thoughts from my mind. I couldn't think any more about it, not there, with the promise of cleanliness a few feet away.

Closing the door, I met my reflection, the pale remnants of the girl I once was staring back at me in the mirror. Barely blond, my unruly hair hung lifeless against my face, the red making me look paler...unfamiliar. Once blue irises were darker, cradled by black circles under my eyes. Twisting my hair into a knot, I turned away from my ghostly image and dropped the cloak from my shoulders.

I bit my lip to the point it bled as I peeled off the sweater, having to tug at a few places where it was encrusted onto my skin. By the time I was done, the warmth of my blood trickled down my back, absorbed by my already drenched jeans. Sliding off the stained pants, I took a robe from behind the door and put it on. It was wrong of me to ruin it, but I had nothing else to wear, and I didn't want to stay in those clothes any longer while waiting for Kheelan to heal me.

Trancelike, I walked toward the tub and sat on the wide edge. The flowers floated peacefully, barely disturbed by the waterfall. I twirled one of them with my fingertips, remembering my vision clearly. I tried to look past the shadows that I saw, to the faces of silhouettes laughing in the distance, but it was impossible. Maris had something to do with these memories, and obviously Kheelan...did Ivan? And why was Maris showing me them all of the sudden? Ivan told me not to trust her, but I wanted to know. Bombarded by questions, I closed my eyes and tried to reach her for Maris. There was only black.

Frustrated by the lack of answers at every turn, I pushed the flower away. It gently knocked into the surrounding flowers, setting off a chain reaction, much like what my life had become. Outside, the front door closed and my stomach flipped a little. Finally I would get to ask Kheelan about Ivan. I was tired of all the cryptic talk and lack of answers. It was clear I wasn't going to get any from Elena, and Maris was too busy playing peek-a-boo for me to get a straight transmission.

The door creaked open behind me. Turning, I opened my mouth-

"Turn around," Kheelan cut me off. His voice was a whisper, but in the quiet bathroom, it echoed all around me, inside of me. Though not in glamoured state, I could still smell it on his skin, the residual effects of desire adding a golden hue to his skin.

I cleared my throat and gripped the edge of the tub tighter. "N-No. We n-n-need to t-talk," I forced out, his glamour affecting me strangely. Kheelan ignored me and hitched up his sleeves.

"Turn around," he said again. His eyes remained fixed on me and his breathing grew eerily steady, each cloud of warm air wrapping itself around me, around my lungs. My own breathing lacked conviction. It was constricted, and forced, and grew tighter the longer I stared at him. I lowered my eyes to my crumpled jeans in the corner of the room, at the blood staining the fabric.

I shook my head. "What is it that you're not telling me about Ivan? You said--"

"I said I was going to make you whole again. That's what I intend to do. Now turn around." His voice was a little sharper that time and I knew arguing would have been pointless, especially when I was going to be demanding answers.

I stood up slowly and turned my back to him. The silence between us hung heavy, growing with every pound of my heart. Kheelan's footfalls chipped at my insides and I clenched my fists, wanting to keep from collapsing. Something was different about him, about him and I. We'd been alone before, but somewhere along the way, we'd changed, we'd evolved into wells of secrets, and our simple relationship wasn't so simple anymore. I could have gone blue in the face dissecting it all, but I couldn't fight it. I was too tired to try.

His hands came around me and slid the robe down off my shoulders. His fingertips were cold, and I flinched, holding the silken fabric tighter in front of me. I exhaled and bit my lip to keep it from shuddering as goosebumps rose on my skin at the feel of him. His hands moved toward my lower back in one, even slow stroke that felt more like a breeze than a touch. I trembled in anticipation-partly because I expected pain, and parts expecting...more.

"This won't hurt," he whispered. Kheelan let out breath that fanned the back of my neck as a finger settled at the small of my back. I wasn't sure if his sigh was one from being overwhelmed at my condition...or at our situation.

Something cold stroked my back and I curled the robe tighter to my chest. It wasn't Kheelan's touch. It was colder, softer and crept over my bare shoulder lightly, like a trail of whispering kisses. Looking down, a small vine of water slithered its way down my arms, branching out into smaller veins until my back and arms were covered in the cool liquid. It smoothed over my skin, cooling and healing, and I could smell him everywhere, as if it were him, all over me. I tried to focus, but slowly everything grew hazy to my eyes.

Before a breath, the water floated from my back, and into the running waters of the tub. It was over. Looking to the mirror, I saw my back was healed. Still, I clutched the fabric of the robe, breathless, chills strumming down my spine. I didn't move, though I should have. I didn't want to want more, but I did. Seeing Kheelan's hands linger at my back in the reflection, I knew then I wasn't the only one with some internal warfare.

I took in a deep, slow breath and turned to face him. I needed to look at him. I needed to see those blue pools that could never hide emotion, especially not from me. I needed to know I wasn't the only one lost in this world of misread signals and intentions. I didn't feel like myself, yet at the same time I did, and I needed to know that I wasn't the only one confused. I looked at him simply because I needed him to stop us if we got to a point where I couldn't....

"You're shaking," he said emotionlessly, though his eyes were softer, darker.

"I'm cold...."

My voice was hoarse, different. Kheelan didn't seem to notice. On the heel of my words, fog rolled over the tub, swirling against the cold air in the room as he warmed the water. Our gazes met through the smoke, knowing the unstable ground we stood on, yet neither of us making any attempt to leave.

One step and I closed the space between us. I don't know why I did it, just at that moment it felt right, like we were stranded on an icy plain and body warmth was the only thing that would keep us from dying. Something was dying within me, and whatever it was needed Kheelan near. To heal, to feel...I don't know. But he made it better. He always made everything better.

Kheelan grew tense, releasing one slow exhale. Our chests met with each breath, yet he was still too far. I curled into him, my arms gathered at his chest. Still, he didn't move, and it felt more like I lay against an iceberg in subzero temperatures. It hurt. Didn't he want what I wanted...

What did I want?

Before I could doubt anymore, Kheelan's arms slowly slid around my waist. His open palms rested on my back, holding me against him. Meeting my eyes, he didn't smile. Neither did I.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"For what?"

He was quiet for a moment. "For everything," he answered finally, each word meaning more than I knew what to do with.

Eyes fixed on one another, I nodded. My hands fell away from the robe and I snaked my arms around his neck, scared, desperately holding onto sanity, and reason...to loyalty as our lips met once. And again.Fire rushed within me as he delicately claimed my mouth, and my heart pounded against his ribs as he gathered me up against him.

I dug my fingers into his skin, wanting to move away, yet bringing him closer. I desperately sought Ivan in each stroke of Kheelan's kiss, something that would bring me back to myself, but the feel of my body flush against his, it was more than I could fight. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to.

I held onto my loyalty to Ivan, but the tighter I held on, the closer I fell into Kheelan's arms. There was no life outside of that moment, outside of his lips gliding against mine in a constant give and take as he absorbed my every sigh and moan. Each stroke cut to the core of me, and I felt him in places so deep, I never thought I'd surface.

Like a waking dream, I watched tears stream down my cheeks, tears of pain as I fell from grace, tears of guilt for wanting him, tears of joy because I needed him, and he was there. Part of me rejoiced. Part of me broke apart in agony. Problem was, I didn't know what part I was anymore, and what belonged to Maris. That hurt most.

Caged in his arms, I surrendered and closed my eyes, falling into a secret place where memories lived...

Hanging vines created a tunnel whose end I couldn't see. Underneath the ground was damp, and I could hear rains tap against the hollow vines that shielded me. I ran through them, unafraid...expectant. The anticipation twisted my stomach, and looking behind me, my face grew hot, a smile spread on my lips.

 Someone followed in the shadows. They whispered words just out of hearing, and the sound of their voice sent fire through my body, butterflies fluttering at the sound of his invisible words. I giggled, and then gasped when my foot suddenly slipped beneath me. A scream lodged in my throat as I fell forward off of a cliff. Strong hands clamped down on my shoulders and pulled me back to safety. They spun me around, and together, we stood on the edge of a cliff, the sky above us breaking. His hands slid around my waist firmly, belonging in synch with a bolt of lightning splitting the sky above. Having him so close, my heart pounded with equal intensity.

 "Is this real?" asked the shadow man, pressing me closer.

 "All of it," I replied, winded. I smiled and ran my foot along the edge behind me. I should have been scared feeling the edge of the cliff beneath my feet. Looking down, blue waters sparkled. It was exhilarating.

 "Is this right?" he asked, hovering a breath away from my lips.

 I stepped closer, still unable to see his face. "Who do you love?" I asked against his mouth.

 A gentle glide brushed past my lips. He broke our kiss. "You."

 Movement over his shoulder startled me, yet I wasn't surprised. Meeting the eyes of another smoky figure, I smiled at the shadow man. "Then its right," I replied and pulled him into a kiss. Together we fell back into the air and into each other.

 I gasped, crashing back to reality and back into myself, just as Kheelan gripped my shoulders and pulled me away from him. Wide-eyed, I stared at him-what the hell had I done...

 "You don't want to do this, Charlotte. We can't do this, not now. You're not ready," he said breathless, not making any sense. Glancing over my shoulder as to not look at my exposed body, he closed the robe around me, his hands resting at my waist to keep it closed until I lifted my hands to tie it.

 Pale, he stepped away, but as composed as Kheelan wanted to appear, I knew he'd felt whatever had just happened between us. I wasn't the only one that wanted to keep falling. Suddenly, I not only felt embarrassed, but anger cut deep, and in a heartbeat Maris swelled to an uncontrollable fury.

 "You mean you don't want to do this. Why would you when you have Aeval waiting, right?"

 Kheelan's eyes widened and I gasped at my boldness and shifted against the wall, cupping my mouth as I curled into the mirror. I shut my eyes tightly, focusing on my breathing and on my heartbeats, on my own human strength until Maris fell back into her pit. Opening my eyes, I met my reflection, just as my green eyes faded back to their normal, whitish blue.

 "Charlotte-"

 "You have to go-Y-y-you have to go," I panted, panic and guilt in my voice. I tried swallowing to make it them all go away, but my next words were barely comprehensible by how violent I trembled. "You need to go to her, to Aeval."

 He approached me from behind-

 "Go! Please, just go to her. I'm tired-the pain from the scratches had me a confused, and we've had a long trip and I'm worn out. I just want to take a bath and go to sleep...please--"

 Tears blurred my eyes, and my throat swelled. It pained me to say those words, to hurt him, and the ache reverberated deeply. I tied the damp robe tighter around me body, yet still felt so exposed, impure. I moved away from the mirror toward the arched window, unable to stand the sight of myself.

Kheelan was quiet. That terrified me. Would he stay? Would I have enough strength to stop us, to stop Maris if she surfaced again? He had to leave.

His footsteps retreated, and let out a breath, but choked it back when he stopped.

"You asked me something back at the forest-"

I straightened my spine and turned to him. I didn't meet his eyes. "No, forget I asked. It was a mistake and....we'll pretend it never happened."

"It happened, just like our kiss, just like what you just saw-." He cut himself off and walked half way to me, but I held a hand between us-

"Tell me what's happening to me? Ever since reaching this place, I'm losing it! What is it that I'm seeing? Why are her memories haunting me? Who are the people I'm seeing-"

He reached me in two steps and cradled my shoulders firmly, with a restraint I could feel hung on a single, splintered thread. "You're not ready, Charlotte. I will tell you everything, please, but you just have to trust me and give me a little more time."

"Time?! What-no! We don't have time-I don't have time! She's slowly possessing me, Kheelan! I don't know when I'm dreaming or when I'm awake- I need to know I'm not going crazy-"

"I've never asked you for anything. Give me this. I will protect you till the end, you know that. I will help you get through this. Just give me this week, and after, I will tell you everything you want to know-about what you just saw, about Ivan, about us...."

My heart pounded. Part of me wanted to argue, and fight, and claw at his chest until he told me. The other half was shocked, stuck on the reality of his words. We were an 'us', and it was my fault.

He released me and turned to walk away.

"I love him, Kheelan," I called after him, my voice breaking. "I love Ivan."

Kheelan stopped but didn't turn as his hand gripped the doorknob. "I know," he said, and without another word, walked out.

The slight click of the door sliced through me, and alone, with my sobs and the memory of Kheelan's lips, I slid down onto the floor healed, but wholly broken.

What had I done?

**

....This was the hardest chapter to write, so vote and comment because I wrestled with this chapter for TWO WEEKS! :( I tried keeping Kheelan and Charlotte apart, but every rewrite they just worked themselves back together.

Anyway, the action, and map searching kicks off next chapter so look out for Charlotte using her powers. I know I can't wait. She needs to blow off some steam :D

Also, a lot of you have been asking about my update schedule, and I actually don't have one. I have been trying to post every 7-10 days, depending on how many rewrites it takes. November will be a little different as NaNoWriMo kicks off so I'll keep you guys posted on that.

Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALICE!!!!!! xx

<3Thanks for reading!