Raising Alexander
This is a spin off of Four Seasons. Someone requested I write about when Magnus adopted and raised little warlock child Alexander after Alec died, so here it is.
It was a few years after Alec died that my life spun out of control. Nothing was the same. I didn't enjoy my morning cup of tea anymore. The songs of the birds didn't relax me like they normally do. Books didn't catch my interest. It was as if life had stopped at a standstill and I was expected to make a tough decision. The tough decision. I couldn't go on like this. The sadness was too crippling for me to handle. Even my boys noticed a change in my demeanor but they were too afraid to bring it up around me as if the mere mention of it would break me altogether. I'm not made of glass but I will shatter.
I was on my way out one night when I noticed something perched in the trees above my loft. A small boy, no older than 7, with black stripes on his skin like a tiger. At first I thought it was just dirt on him but as I shone the light from my cellphone up at him, I could easily see that he had tiger stripes.
A warlock child. Abandoned, no doubt. Tossed aside because of his unique differences. It still baffles me even to this day how cruel mundanes can be. As evolved as they were, they still managed to show me how low they can stoop when they want to. I've seen a lot of lows in my life but abandoning children because of what they looked like was the lowest of low for me.
"Hey there. What are you doing up in the tree? Aren't you cold?" I raised my hand to help him down but he cringed away, only climbing higher. "Don't be scared. I'm like you. See?"
I allowed my hand to be enveloped in my magical blue flame and this seemed to grab his attention. He cocked his head and watched as the flames danced across my fingertips. I also showed him my cat eyes. He seemed to want to try it too. Raising his small hand, he tried to do the same magic as I did. But something different happened entirely.
The boy shapeshifted into a small bird with stripes.
My hand immediately dropped and stood flabbergasted at what I just witnessed. I've seen a shapeshifting warlock before, but not an animal shifting one and believe me, I've seen my share of really unique warlock abilities. I once knew one with stag antlers but that's another story for another time.
The small bird chirped once before changing back into the boy. He was still perched on his branch when he changed back, only this time he didn't seem as scared. My guess was that he felt like he could trust me after seeing what I could do and after showing me what he could do.
"That's a neat trick you did. You should come inside with me and show me some more tricks. How does that sound?" He started to move away but I shook my head and raised my hand again, blue flames crackling gently. "It's okay. I won't hurt you. You can trust me. I have food and water and clothes that you can wear. You'll be safe with me."
He seemed convinced enough. He jumped down from his perch but still eyed me warily as I lead him inside. I smiled as he sniffed the doorway and felt the hardwood floor with a hand. Had he ever been in a house before? His actions strongly reminded me of a dog being brought home for the first time and it wasn't used to its surroundings.
Then it clicked in my head. The boy had been abandoned at a very young age and he discovered his powers at that young age, living as an animal just to get by. He was more animal than boy from the looks of it. I doubt he even knew how to speak.
"Let's get you some clean clothes. I think my youngest son Max has old clothes from when he was your age around here somewhere. He doesn't throw out anything. I think he hoards," I laughed, pausing when the boy cocked his head like a confused dog. "Hoarding means you keep everything. Never throw anything out-ah here we go. But first....we should give you a bath."
Oh my. Getting this small child into the tub was quite something. I've never heard such screams rip from a small throat before in my life. He shifted into a dog and tried to squirm out of my grasp. Then a lion. Then finally to a squirrel and made me chase him around the house.
Eventually I managed to get him in the tub by casting a spell on the bubbles from the bath and made them change into different shapes. This seemed to captivate him completely and allowed me to scrub him down until he was nice and clean. He didn't even mind when I poured water down over his head.
"Having fun?" I smiled as he reached up for a bubble shaped like a train. "You look much nicer with all that dirt gone off you. I can see the color of your eyes."
The boy looked at me with bright hazel eyes, making my breath catch for a moment. He looked so much like Alec that it physically hurt my heart to look at him. Same eyes, same hair, same smile. Maybe I was finally losing my mind after all.
A splash brought me out of my reverie. The boy was splashing around in the tub as an otter and looked like he was having the time of his life. When he changed back, he reached up and put a hand on my face, his palm very warm from the water in the tub.
"Hi," I smiled. "What should I call you? Do you have a name?"
The boy pat my face and whined. Probably meant no.
"Hmm. You need a name. Something strong to represent a strong kid for surviving on the streets for this long." I spun a rubber duck around in my hand in thought.
Then it hit me. What better name suited this boy than the name of my one true love? The one that left me much too early? He died of heartbreak, which I didn't really think was possible but clearly it was. His parabatai died and then he died soon after because of the anguish he was in. "Where thou diest, I will die". Shadowhunters take their vows very seriously, it would seem.
"Alexander," I whispered. This grabbed the boy's attention immediately as if that were his name all along. He watched me, waiting for me to say something else. "That's what I'll call you. Alexander Gideon. You're named after a beautiful man I once knew and loved. He was a natural leader and had a presence about him. You look a lot like him."
I booped Alexander's nose. This made him laugh and do the same back to me.
I dried him off and helped him change into his new clothes. At first he didn't seem too impressed with them but that quickly changed once I lift him into my arms and brought him into the kitchen and sat him down at the table. He looked perpetually confused as to what was happening.
I smiled down at him. "I'm gonna make you something special. Prepare to be mind blown.....by a peanut butter and jelly sandwich."
Without doing any magic, I prepared the best pb&j sandwich I've ever made in my life. One side or peanut butter, the other side jelly (honestly who puts them both on the same slice of bread? Barbarians. That's who) and voila. A masterpiece that my Alec would've been proud of. He also would've been proud of the fact that I didn't use magic to make it.
"One delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for the little guy," I said as I set the plate down in front of Alexander. "All yours. Eat up."
Alexander looked at it in confusion. Then he sniffed it, taking a long whiff before touching it with a finger. After deciding it felt nice (I guess) he picked it up and licked the edge where a bit of jelly was on the crust. His eyes widened and he finally took the plunge.
"Mmmmm," he moaned quietly. In any language around the world, when someone is eating that usually meant that the food was delicious.
"You like it. I can tell," I laughed as he shoved as much as he could into his mouth. "Hey. Slow down. Chew."
He watched me as I mimed eating a sandwich slowly and chewing. To my surprise, he copied me and he was soon eating slowly.
I took his plate when he was finished and poured him up some water, which he gulped down in a few swallows. Then he jumped down from the table and explored the living room with wide eyes. He seemed very interested in the artwork on the walls, cocking his head in confusion.
I literally turned my back for a second to make sure I closed the balcony doors and turned around to see him on the mantel above the fireplace, holding a frame in his hands.
"You shouldn't sitting up here, Alexander. You could fall and...." My voice faltered. The photo that Alexander was holding was of me and Alec on our wedding day. I had jumped on Alec's back and was smiling broadly while he was trying very hard not to smile. He was always like that. But I was the only person who ever managed to make him break and smile.
Alexander purred and hugged the photo close to his chest. I'm not even sure if he knew what it was that he was holding but he seemed to really like it, so I tried an experiment. I took the photo from the frame and handed him just the frame. He didn't want that. He grunted and made grabby hands for the photo instead.
"You like the picture?" I picked him up off the mantel and carried him over to the couch. He sat happily and quite content with the photo in his hands. "That's my husband. It was our wedding day when this was taken. I still remember how happy we were....it's not very often you hear of a Shadowhunter marrying a Downworlder let alone a gay Shadowhunter marrying a bisexual warlock."
Alexander swung his legs back and forth as he listened and stroked the photo with a hand.
"I don't know if you really understand me but that's okay. I'm going to adopt you and raise you as my son. I have two older sons as well. They'll be your brothers. You'll love them-Max is a warlock like us. Rafael is a Shadowhunter like his papa. But we're all a big happy family."
Alexander smiled widely and pat my face. "Mm?"
"Yeah. You have a family now. One that loves you to the moon and back. You won't ever have to live another day out on those streets ever again." I leaned forward and kissed his forehead, making him purr.
A few weeks after I'd taken him in, I decided it was time for the in-laws to meet him. I was a little unsure about how they'd feel about me taking in another child and naming him after my dead husband, but honestly, screw them and their opinions. I loved this child more than anything. He'd brightened my life the past few weeks and made it worth living.
He still wasn't talking but I was teaching him how and he was slowly learning. So far he could identify simple pictures like an apple or a ball or a dog. Sure, I mean it was baby steps but that's how everyone started off. One step at a time.
The Institute doors opened and I stepped inside with Alexander in my arms. The narrow corridor that led to the main control room was crowded with Shadowhunters as they moved about with the usual tablet in their hands as they scanned the city for any demonic activity. Alec used to be the same way. As former head of the Insititute, it was his job to keep the city safe and he was damn good at his job too.
Isabelle looked up from her computer screen and raised an eyebrow as she saw the boy in my arms. "Magnus. I didn't know you were coming....who's this?"
I smiled at my sister in-law. "Isabelle. This is Alexander. I adopted him a few weeks ago."
Alexander nuzzled into my neck, clinging to my shirt for dear life. He still wasn't used to being around other people, especially strangers.
"Alexander?" Isabelle asked. She breathed out a laugh when the boy responded to his name. "You're kidding, right? You named him after my brother?"
"Your brother also happened to be my husband, Isabelle. I loved him just as much as you did. If not a little more."
She grew quiet after I said this. Her and Alexander seemed to be having some sort of silent conversation that I wasn't a part of. Her eyes had watered over the longer she stared at him and her bottom lip began to tremble.
"Come here, you beautiful boy," she outstretched her arms and took Alexander from me. He happily cuddled into her once she had him and played with her long black hair that was tickling his face when he nuzzled in. "He looks so much like Alec. It's a little unnerving."
"Believe me. I know. Every time I look at him he's all I see. But he's not Alec, Izzy. Alec's gone."
Isabelle frowned. "I know. I've known for a while now. It's just still hard to accept the fact that he is."
We both went quiet. Alexander had focused his attention on the moving objects on the computer screen, which were the security cameras outside the Insititute. He didn't seem to mind the awkward silence very much. Alec hated awkward silences; he used to stutter when he tried to find something to say to fill that silence.
"Did your boys already meet him?" Isabelle asked.
"No," I shook my head. "I'm calling them home today to meet their new brother. Max is going to be ecstatic."
"But Rafe...."
I shrugged. "Not so much. He already feels out of place with Max and I as it is. At least with Alec he knew he had some sort of lifespan worth living...."
"Magnus...." Isabelle took my hand and held it tight. "I'm sure Rafael is going to love Alex. He shouldn't worry about immortality if he's with the ones he loves. Right?"
She had a point. I had once thought about the whole immortality issue myself. How could I have a life with Alec when he will grow old and I would stay young forever? Would I still love him when he's old and gray?
Yes. I would. But he wouldn't be old and gray. He died way before his time, with not a trace of gray on his head or anywhere else. Alec was always worried that he'll have gray hair when he passed away. I guess he got his wish after all.
"You should go home and get ready for Max and Rafael's return." Isabelle handed Alex back to me and smiled. "Thank you for letting me meet him. He's a beautiful boy."
Alex smiled at this. He knew the word beautiful because I constantly say it to him. "He is, isn't he? He's my special little man," I said, kissing him on the cheek. Alex laughed and hid his face into my neck. "Thanks for being so calm and collected about this, Isabelle. I didn't know what to expect from you when I thought about bringing Alex here."
"Of course. It's your life, Magnus. I can't tell you what to do with it. And honestly, if there's anyone in this world who can give this child everything he wants and more, it's definitely you. I'm glad he found you when he did."
We hugged before we parted ways. I knew that deep down Isabelle was a good person. Despite her tough exterior, she had a soft spot for kids. Always did. She spoiled Max and Rafe to the point where I almost banned her from their birthday parties when they were kids. But I knew that she genuinely was happy about the fact that I found Alex and Alex found me.
Sending Max a fire message, I asked him to tell his brother that I needed them both home because I had something to tell them. He replied within seconds. Who needs a cell phone when there's magical fire messages you can send instead.
Moments later, a Portal opened up in the living room. Max and Rafe stepped through. Max still looked pretty much the same. His hair was shorter and still wore the same baggy clothes. Rafael, now 27, had a buzzcut with the slight onset of stubble on his face. My boys were handsome. I couldn't be a more proud father.
"Papa? What's wrong?" Max asked, a face filled with concern.
"We came as soon as we got your message. Is there anything wrong?" Rafael echoed his little brother, his face also a mirror of concern.
"Nothing's wrong. I just have some news for you. Sit down." I indicated the couch behind them. Once they sat down, I took a deep breath. "So something amazing happened a few weeks ago. I've been wanting to tell you all this time but I wanted to wait."
Max glanced at his brother before speaking. "Did you....meet someone?"
I snorted. "I guess you can say that."
"Are you dating someone?" Rafael asked. "If you are, then congrats. Dad is probably happy that you're moving on."
"What? No I'm not-I'm not dating anyone. Just...wait here. I'll be right back."
I jumped up a little too eagerly and went into my bedroom. Alex was atop of the covers as a small cat, licking himself. He paused with one leg up in the air as I entered and meowed.
"Alex....can you turn back for a few minutes? Your new brothers are here for a visit," I said. When he didn't listen, I scooped him up into my arms anyway and brought him with me back into the living room. "Boys. Meet Alexander. Your new brother."
The boys looked at the cat in my arms like I was crazy. "Have you finally lost your mind, old man?" Rafael snorted.
"I didn't lose my mind, Rafael. And mind your tone when you're talking to me. This is the real deal. Alex is a warlock. He's just....a shapeshifting one."
Max beamed. "Cool. I've never met a shapeshifter before. Well I mean I met Tessa but she doesn't change into animals. Does he do just animals or can he do people too?"
Alex purred as I scratched under his chin. "Animals, as far as I can tell. Maybe with a bit of training he can shift into people but for now he just turns into all kinds of animals."
Rafael scoffed. "Lovely. My entire family is going to outlive me. You seem to really like immortal kids, dad. I must be a disgrace to you."
"Rafe, I never said you were-"
"Whatever. It's okay. I can see why papa was always concerned about the whole immortality thing. It nearly ate him alive anyway. Max. We're leaving."
Max glanced at Alex then back to Rafael. "But we just got here. And we didn't get to see Alex's true form."
Rafael shrugged. "Not my problem. At least if we never come back, you three are immortal and have all the time in the world to see each other. I don't."
I sighed through my nose as Max got to his feet and opened a Portal back to Idris. He looked over his shoulder back at me and mouthed "Sorry" but I just shook my head and waved a dismissive hand. Rafe would get over it eventually. Alec did so he will too.
The following five months consisted of me raising a 7 year old warlock boy and teaching him to talk. It was a bit of a process; I'd forgotten what it was like to teach a little one to talk. It's been so long since Max was a baby. Plus Rafael was already 5 when Alec and I adopted him so he was already further along than Max was.
Alex's vocabulary flourished like a flower. He picked up speech very quickly and was soon having conversations with me about anything and everything. He also picked up an interest in children's books, and that probably meant I was going to have to teach him how to read soon.
"Daddy? Can I ask you a question?" Alex asked me one day while we were outside in my herb garden.
"Sure, buddy. Ask away."
He turned the page of his book and made a face. "Do I have a mommy?"
I froze in place. This question was inevitable. He's seen kids at the park (with a glamor on his stripes, of course) with their parents and not many of them were same sex parents either. So naturally he assumed that he had a mommy and a daddy like the typical all American family.
"Um...." I honestly had no idea how to respond to this but I always did believe that the truth was always the right path to follow. "Listen, Alex. There's something I need to tell you."
He nodded. "Okay. What is it?"
I sat beside him on the bench that overlooked the garden. He was still much too small for his feet to touch the ground. His knees just barely hung over the edge and he swung his legs back and forth. "Daddy isn't married and he doesn't have a girlfriend. But he was married. A long time ago to a wonderful man. You're named after him, remember?"
Alex scratched his head. "So where's my mommy?"
Oh boy. "Alex....I'm not sure where she is. You were alone when I found you. You remember that day," I smiled as he nodded. "I honestly don't know where your mommy is, little guy. But I can tell you that I will give you just as much love as two parents would give you. Okay?"
"Okay," Alex closed his book on his lap. "So that man in that photo in the house. The one with the black hair. He's my other daddy?"
I bit my lip to keep from laughing at how cute he looked when he spoke of Alec. "Yes. He's your other daddy. But he passed away before you were born."
"He's in heaven?"
"He's in heaven. But I'm sure he's looking down on you and loves you just as much as I do."
With the grace of a cat, Alex jumped off the bench and knelt down, putting his hands together in prayer. "If I pray to him, will he hear me? Will he hear me talking to him, daddy?"
I could almost feel Alec's stern gaze on me as he waited for me to tell the boy what he wanted to hear. "Yes. He'll hear you, Alex. You can talk to him whenever you want, okay? He's always listening."
Alex smiled as I went back to the garden. He soon had his eyes closed and I thought I caught a few words of his prayers as I moved away from the bench.
"Hi, other daddy? I'm Alex. You don't know me and we never met before but I just wanted to say I love you and I hope you're having fun in heaven...."
I had to swallow the lump that was forming in my throat in order to keep myself from crying that day.
Another six months passed and Alex's birthday was quickly approaching. By his birthday, I mean the day that I adopted him. There aren't any known spells that determine when someone was born. Amazing, right? There's a spell for everything else but none for guessing birthdays. Unbelievable.
Alec didn't even know what a birthday was until I told him. He seemed pretty enthralled with all this talk of a party, especially when he learned there was cake involved.
"There's cake?!" He covered his mouth a hand, shocked out of his little mind.
I nodded. "Oh yes. Cake is the best part-wait. No. The best part is opening presents!"
He was in the bath at the time I was telling him about all this, playing with his boats and sharks in the water. Excited, he splashed me by accident and I laughed at his expression.
"But daddy. Where do the presents come from? Does Santa bring them?" He learned about Santa a few months ago just before Christmas rolled around. He had an absolute ball during the holidays when Isabelle invited everyone to Idris for dinner (it was also Alex's first time in Idris. He was mind blown then too). This was also the time when he met Clary and her kid as well as Simon for the first time. He loved them all.
"No. Santa doesn't bring them. The people who come to your party bring them to you. And the best part is.....it's all yours."
Alex's eyes widened. "Every one of them?"
I nodded, smiling. "Every one of them."
He cheered and splashed around again, shifting into a seal and clapping his flippers in excitement. I couldn't help but laugh at his contagious excitement. It's been a while since I laughed like this and it felt good to smile for a reason again.
A day later, while Alex was in Idris with his uncle Simon, I took this opportunity to sit down with Isabelle and Clary to plan the birthday party. It wasn't very often that Isabelle or Clary could sit down like this and do something mundane for a change, but the decreased demonic activity these days gave me the golden opportunity to have some girl time with my lady friends.
"So I was thinking that I could get a zoo for the kids to enjoy. Something simple," I said. "How does that sound?"
Clary glanced at Isabelle and smirked. "First of all, nobody just 'gets a zoo'. You can go to one but you can't get one."
I mocked a surprised expression. "Clarissa. You wound me. Of course I can get a zoo. I'm a warlock. Remember?"
She shrugged in agreement when Isabelle said "My boys would love that. Gabe's really into animals. Same with Thomas. You should definitely go with the zoo idea."
I scribbled down some notes. "What about decorations? Nothing less than spectacular."
"Knowing you, you'll go all out. You always do," Clary sipped her tea. "How about make it a carnival theme? Popcorn. Cotton candy. Games for the kids. It'll be fun."
"Carnival...for...kids," I quickly wrote down. "I think I'll go with that idea. Alex would love interacting with the animals. He might even turn into one just for kicks," I chuckled as Clary and Isabelle smiled at me. "What? What's so funny?"
"Nothing," said Isabelle. "It's just been so long since we've seen you smile like this. It's nice."
I blushed. They weren't wrong. I hadn't felt this happy since before Alec passed away, which in reality wasn't that long ago when I thought about. My heart had felt like it stopped beating for the longest time. My breath always caught in my chest whenever I thought about his death. I wanted to die, in all honesty. But that all changed the moment I met Alex.
I can suddenly breathe again.
"This party is going to epic! I'm getting excited just thinking about it. I'm sure the kids will love it too-wait. What am I going to wear? I have nothing to wear," Isabelle sighed dramatically. "I'll have to go out and buy a new dress."
"It's a children's party, Isabelle. At a carnival. I don't think dresses are carnival wear." I knew there was no point in trying to tell her otherwise. Isabelle Lightwood did what Isabelle Lightwood wanted to do.
She shrugged. "Whatever. I'll wear a pair of my good jeans and a sweater I've been dying to wear but never had a reason to wear it. Might as well wear it now."
After an hour or so of planning, I got up and stretched out my back. "Well, ladies. This was fun. Thank you so much for your help and I hope Alex and I will see you at the party."
"We didn't do anything. We just sat here and drank tea. You came up with everything," Clary smiled as she hugged me. "I can't wait to be there. Alex is going to have the time of his life."
"I hope so. This will be his first ever birthday party and I want everything to be perfect," I said as I hugged her back. "I don't want to disappoint him."
Isabelle took my hand. "You won't, Magnus. Nothing you do for this boy will disappoint him. You gave him a better life. Took him off the streets and gave him the world. Alec would be so proud. I know he would."
I fought against the tears that threatened to roll down my face as Isabelle held me tight. She loved Alec just as much as I did. He was her older brother. Her protector. Her best friend. We both had lost him that day. Not just one of us.
Time flew and the next thing I know, it's the day of Alex's party. I was in the living room, casting a few extra spells on some stuffed animals before Portalling them to Idris when I heard talking coming Alex's room. Curious, I tiptoed towards his bedroom door, which was open an inch, just enough for me to hear what was being said.
"Yeah? My brother's name is Max too. He's a warlock like me. But he can't turn into animals though. He tried with a spell but it didn't work. It gave him whiskers."
Alex giggled. Who on earth was he talking to? It was just the two of us home. Unless Max Portalled home and he was in the room with Alex. That had to be the only logical explanation and this was coming from someone who defied the rules of logic. I was a warlock, for the love of god. I was far from being logical. But I was a logical person.
"Oh yeah! I'm really excited! Daddy says I'm eight today and my party is in Idris. It's a surprise though so don't tell him I know about it. I can't help overhear him sometimes. My animal senses kick in when I don't want them to."
I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to know who on earth he was talking to so I opened the door and stepped into the room. Alex was on his floor playing with toys and looked up at me when I entered, and I kid you not, a toy dinosaur was floating in the air for no more than a second before falling to the floor.
"Daddy! Are we going to Idris now?" He asked me in an excited voice.
I stared at the dinosaur on the floor. I know what I saw. That toy was floating in the air and it fell to the floor when I came into the room. It couldn't have been Alex making it float because he can't cast spells yet. I didn't teach him any. The most he could do was shapeshift.
"Daddy? Are you okay?" Alex tugged on my sleeve. "You don't look so good."
"I...I'm fine, buddy. Just came in to see if you were ready to go. We're going to see aunt Clary soon," I pat him on the head with a forced smile. "Come on. Wait for me in the living room. I'll be out in a second."
He raced off, giving me a chance to bend down and pick up the mystical floating dinosaur. Just when I was looking it over, I had a strange feeling that someone was watching me from behind. Whipping around, I turned to see that I was alone in the bedroom, all traces of that weird feeling of being watched gone. Odd.
Alex's party couldn't have gone better. He and all the other kids had a fantastic time running around and playing games and watching the animals play. Even Clary looked like he was having a good time. Her own son, a small 10 year old named Dante, was sitting on top of her shoulders and watching the fireworks with childlike wonder.
I felt a tug on my sleeve and looked down to see Alex trying to get my attention. "Hey, birthday boy. Anything wrong?"
He shook his head. "No. I just wanted to say thank you. The tall man told me to use my manners and thank you for having a party for me."
"The tall man? Which tall man? Is he here right now?"
Another shake of the head. "No. But he was in my room earlier playing toys with me."
That simple sentence sent chills up and down my spine. So I did see something after all. That toy was floating. "Alex, can you describe what he looks like for daddy?"
Alex was about to say something when everyone started singing "Happy Birthday" and he got distracted by the sight of a huge cake coming towards him. He laughed and clapped his hands in excitement.
"Make a wish, little man! You're a big boy now. All grown up," Isabelle kissed his cheek as he blew out his candles. She cheered along with everyone else when the flames went out. "Alright! Who wants some cake?"
I blinked and suddenly Alex was 16. How time flew so fast, I had no idea. He was so tall now, towering over me by a good four inches, and he was all arms and legs. Scrawny as hell. Hair wild and curly. His voice was even deep and rich like Alec's was. He was growing into a handsome young man.
"Dad? Your meat is burning," he said to me one day when I was frying hamburger meat.
"What-oh. Dammit...." I flicked off the stovetop and moved the frying pan. "I wasn't paying attention. My mind isn't what it used to be."
"Old age will do that to you," he smirked as I threw a wet towel at his face. "I'm joking! Geez. You don't have to throw in the towel."
"Har har. Funny guy. You should consider a career in comedy. You're a hoot," I laughed as he shifted into an owl and then shifted back. "See? Comedy gold. Although I'd refrain from shapeshifting in front of the audience. Mundanes don't really do that kind of comedy."
He shrugged and went back to his studying. I'd been homeschooling him for years now and he was doing really well academically. He learned fast, especially with spells. He was like a sponge; absorbed everything I taught him. Even Max was impressed. Rafael? Well let's just say he and Alex are on mutual grounds now. It's an improvement from their first engagement from when Alex was a boy.
"Did you finish your homework like I asked you earlier?"
Alex rolled his eyes. He's been doing a lot of that lately. "Yes. I even did the next assignment because I was bored. Pretty sad when your son gets that bored he does extra assignments to keep him from dying of boredom."
I ruffled his hair playfully. "That's my boy. I'm very proud of you, you know. You're becoming a handsome young warlock. Even Max is proud."
Alex wasn't listening. He seemed to be staring at something over his shoulder, his mouth moving but no sound coming out. "Dad. Can we visit papa today in Idris?"
I glanced over his shoulder as I fried the hamburger meat. "Sure. May I ask why you want to go all of a sudden?"
Alex shrugged. "Just feel like it. I want to tell papa about a girl I met today."
"Oh," I winked. "I knew there was a girl involved. What's she like? Is she pretty?"
"Dad!" Alec groaned as I laughed. "Come on. You're so embarrassing."
I snorted. "It's just the two of us in the house, Alex. Who am I going to embarrass you around?"
"Three."
I looked at him. "What did you say?"
"I said three. Can we go now? And have it over with?"
Turning the stove off, I put a lid on over his meat. "Fine, fine. Open a Portal. You know the drill."
Alex opened a Portal into Idris, close to the City of Bones where Alec was buried with the rest of the Lightwood family before him. This place always did creep me out, but Alex seemed to enjoy it.
We stopped in front of Alec's engraved name in marble. Behind the marble was Alec's bones. I knew this because I watched the Silent Brothers bury him behind the wall. Plus all Shadowhunter bones made up the entire city. The walls were lined with skulls alone.
"So why are we here exactly? It's not even the anniversary of his death. That was months ago."
Alex brushed a cobweb off his shoulder. "He wanted to talk to you."
I raised an eyebrow. "And you spoke to him and he told you this?" Alex nodded. "How often do you speak to papa, Alex? Or a better question would be how long have you been speaking to him?"
"For a while now. Since I was a kid. He'd come and go every now and then, talking to me and asking about you. Little things like that."
"Why couldn't he just talk to me himself?"
"He couldn't. He said you weren't ready. You weren't completely over his death and you needed to forgive yourself before he can talk to you."
I snorted. "Lovely. Even in death, he's stubborn as hell. Is he here right now? So I can punch him in his stupid ghost face?"
"Seriously? That's how you're going to greet me after all these years?"
Goosebumps rose on my arms at the sound of the all too familiar voice behind me. I almost didn't want to turn around for the fear that I might flee in panic or faint at the sight of him. But I turned anyway, and was glad that I did.
Alec stood in the doorway, hands crossed over his chest in a typical Alec Lightwood stance, a soft smile on his beautiful face. He looked younger now than he did when he died, all signs of aging now gone and replaced with the youth that I fell hard in love with when we first met. His hazel eyes shone under the flickering light of the torch on the wall, making his body transparent.
"Alec...." I croaked. Tears were threatening to escape down my face but I fought against it. "My beautiful Alexander...."
"Magnus....." Alec sighed. As he took a step forward, I reached out to stroke his cheek but only got air between my fingers. "I'm not really here, Magnus. I'm just talking to you through the veil."
"Shut up. You're ruining the moment," I laughed through a sob. "How....why? Why now after all this time?"
Alec smiled. "You've forgiven yourself. I couldn't let you talk to me or see me until you fully forgave yourself and moved on. You've clearly moved on, judging by how well you've raised Alex here."
I chuckled. "I still miss you, though. That will never change."
"And I miss you too. More than you'll ever know. I miss the boys and the way they used to get into trouble. I also miss raising a child." Alec looked over at Alex. "You're growing into a fine young man, Alex. I couldn't be more proud of you and I'm sorry I wasn't alive to watch you grow up."
"It's okay," said Alex. "You've been watching over me since Magnus took me in."
"You have?!" I looked to Alec for confirmation. Alec nodded. "Why didn't Alex tell me when you weren't around?"
"Because the boy had enough common sense to keep quiet when asked. Plus it would spoil you if you learned that you had a ghost in your house," Alec shook his head. "But I almost gave myself away on his 8th birthday. You probably remember it."
The dinosaur. "That was you that was making the dinosaur float? And I felt your presence....you were watching me."
Alec smiled. "I was playing with Alex. I had a lot of extra strength that day so I was able to move stuff around. Then you came in and interrupted our playtime. Almost got caught in the process."
I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to laugh or burst into tears. This all felt so surreal; seeing Alec in front of me, realizing that he was there all these years watching over us. It was too much for me to handle.
Alex caught me as I slid to the floor and began to cry. Alec knelt down too, placing a ghostly hand on both of our shoulders. "Dad. Are you going to be okay?"
I nodded. "I will be eventually. I'm just so overwhelmed with emotion right now. I also feel very drained."
"That's probably my fault," Alec half smiled. "I'm using a lot of energy to be here to talk to you guys. I'm sort of borrowing some of your energy....sorry."
"Don't you dare apologize, Alec. Use up whatever energy is in me. As long as it lets me be with you for a little while longer," I reached up again for Alec's face, caressing his transparent cheek. "I wish I could hold you in my arms again one last time."
"I know," Alec whispered. "Believe me, I want nothing more than to hold you in my arms again as well. To feel your warmth against my bare chest. But this is the only time I'm allowed to see you."
"You're joking."
Alec shook his head. "I've spent too much time here in the world of the living. It's time I pass over, Magnus. You need to fully let me go."
"No," I tried to hold onto Alec but his hands passed through the air. "I'm not letting you go again. I'm not ready."
"You are ready. You have Alex and Max and Rafe. Let them be the reminders of our time spent together. Don't let the good memories die, Magnus. Then I'll be gone forever."
He leaned in, placing his cold forehead against mine and closed his eyes to kiss me. I didn't care if I couldn't feel his mouth against mine. I really didn't. All I had to do was imagine the real thing and that was enough for me. As he deepens the kiss, I can feel that he's slipping away, leaving me again for the second time. A low moan escaped my mouth as his form began to fade away.
"I'll always be around, Magnus. Just because you won't see me doesn't mean I'm not there," he smiled his beautiful thousand watt smile. "I love you. Always did."
"I love you too," I managed to whisper before the light coming from his transparent body finally faded, making the flames of the torch the only source of light in the mausoleum.
Alex helped me to my feet. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you he was with us this entire time, dad. He made me promise not to tell."
I looked at my youngest son and held him tight in a bear hug. "Don't worry about it. You did the right thing. Plus this was a really nice surprise. I'm sort of glad you kept it from me."
He smiled at me, looking so much like his father. "And you're right about one thing you told me when I was younger."
We headed out of the City of Bones, the entrance sealing behind us as we exited. "About what?"
"He heard my prayers. Every single one of them. Yours too. And his answer is no."
I blinked in confusion. "No? To what question?"
Alex, being taller than me, draped a skinny arm over my shoulders as we walked. "He doesn't regret ever falling in love with you, even if you were immortal. His mortality with you was time well-spent and there's not a single thing he'd change about his life."
I felt myself burst into tears again. Damn you, Alexander Lightwood. Even in death you still have me feeling feelings.
"When we get home, you lie down and rest for a bit. I'll fry up the meat and make the tacos. You look like you need some sleep anyway," Alex said as he opened a Portal.
"Why thank you. I do feel really tired...." We both stepped through and found ourselves home again. "I did a wonderful job raising you, didn't I, Alexander?"
Alex hugged me tight. "You sure did, dad. You sure did."
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