"Got your coat on?" Alec peered around the corner and saw little Max struggling to pull on his winter jacket, chasing the sleeve around in circles. Alec rolled his eyes and smiled. "Need some help, bud?"

"No daddy. I got it," Max said. He finally caught his sleeve and slipped his arm into it, zipping up the jacket. "I did it, daddy!"

"Good job, Max! High five!" Alec laughed when Max's tiny, chubby blue hand hit his own. "Ready to go to Taki's and get uncle Jace's food?"

Max threw his arms in the air and cheered. "Yay! Taki's! Carry me, dad!" He reached up for Alec, wiggling his tiny fingers. Alec couldn't say no to his adorable child. It was impossible.

Scooping up Max in his arms, Alec carried him out to the car airplane style, making jet noises and swirling him around. Max thought this was hilarious. He giggled and held his arms out on either side of him, quite enjoying the fact that his dad is pretending that he's a plane.

When Alec tried to get Max into his car seat, Max began to cry and struggle. "Remember what uncle Jace said what happens if you fuss when you don't get into your car seat?"

Max determinedly point at the front window. "I'll fly out the window!"

Alec's mouth dropped open. "Is that what he-I'm having a talk with your uncle when we get back. He might get a time out." This made Max giggle and cover his mouth. "Alright. All strapped in. If you're good today, you might get a treat later. How does that sound?"

Max clapped his hands. "Treat!"

Alec smiled. Max was one of the very few people that could make him genuinely smile (aside from Magnus and Rafe. Jace just got on his nerves).

They pulled out of the institute parking garage (which had been a recent upgrade; Shadowhunters couldn't run everywhere they went) and wove in and out of traffic. Unfortunately, the car couldn't be glamored so Alec had to abide by mundane traffic laws. He hated it. Brooklyn traffic was terrible.

After only driving for a few minutes, Alec found himself caught behind a string of vehicles lined up on the road. Car horns honked. People yelled at one another. It was chaos. Brooklyn was always chaos.

"Daddy, where's papa?" Max asked from the backseat.

"Papa's in Idris with Rafe. They're visiting grandma for a little bit. Do you miss papa?" Alec looked in the rear view mirror and smiled. Max was sucking his thumb as he nodded. "Papa and Rafe will be home soon, blueberry."

Max smiled and began to tap his foot against Alec's seat. "Daddy, I want to be a Shadowhunter like you and uncle Jace."

Alec frowned. "We'll see, Max. We'll see."

"Okay," Max tapped his feet again and moved his thumb around his mouth. "Are we trapped, daddy?"

Alec smirked. Max pronounced trapped like "twapped" and he sounded adorable. "No. There's just a lot of cars here today. Everyone's busy."

"Okay," Max said, not bothering to question Alec further. "I want noodles from Taki's."

Alec nodded. "If I have some money leftover then I'll get you some noodles."

Max continued to suck his thumb. "Okay," was all he said. "I want juice with my noodles."

"Whatever you want, Max. We're at Taki's!" Alec laughed when Max clapped his hands and cheered. "Remember the rules?"

Max nodded. "Don't leave daddy's sight and hold his hand at all times."

Alec kissed his forehead. "That's my boy. Now let's go get you some food."

Max giggled. "Don't forget uncle Jace's food, dad!"

Alec smiled as he scooped Max up in his arms. "That wouldn't be good, would it?" He walked into Taki's with Max gazing at everything in the room, pointing and trying to make a grab for it. "Don't touch, Max. It's breakable."

A blue skinned girl looked up as he approached the counter. Alec immediately recognized her as Kaelie, the fey who had given Clary a gift from the Seelie queen years ago. She smiled, revealing pearl white teeth which contrasted with her skin.

"Well hello there. I didn't realize the Blue Men Group had offspring?" She leaned against the counter and played with Max's curls. Max cuddled into Alec's neck and smiled shyly, giving Kaelie a small wave.

Alec scowled. "He's a warlock, Kaelie. Don't be so rude."

"I wasn't being rude. I was being.....blunt. There's a difference. Order for Herondale, right?" She grabbed a notepad and scribbled something down. "Sign here. Don't ask why. It's a new policy."

Alec sighed as he set Max down. "Daddy has to sign something real quick okay, bud? Stay here where I can see you."

Max nodded. "Okay, daddy."

Alec turned back to the counter and signed the paper. "So when was this 'new policy' put in place?"

Kaelie shrugged. "I don't know. I just work here. Do you expect me to know everything?"

Alec rolled his eyes as Kaelie picked up a brown paper bag and handed it to him. "How much do I owe you?"

"Your total is....$23.45. But Jace said you'd give me a tip as well."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Of course he did...." He handed her $30 and put his wallet back in his pocket. "Hope that satisfies your greediness."

"Oh it does. It does in-"

A screech of car tires echoed in from outside, and for whatever reason, the hair on Alec's neck stood up. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. He glanced down to make sure Max was still beside him, but the boy was no longer in the room.

Dread filled Alec's heart. "No. No no no no-" He rushed outside and looked around the road in a panic. A crowd had formed not too far from where he parked, and the dread that was building in his heart was now full blown panic.

He raced over, pushing past the crowd of people. He was glamored (no runes were visible to mundanes) as was Max (his skin was pale and his hair was dark brown) so they both looked normal to the mundane world.

Alec crumpled to his knees at the sight in front of him. "Oh god. Oh by the angel.....no......"

Max lay on the ground, sprawled out, left leg at an odd angle, and with blood coming from a deep gash in his head and out of his nose. His chest wasn't moving. His eyes were closed. There was no sign of life coming from him.

"Max.....oh Raziel...." Alec gently lift his son up in his arms and cradled him back and forth. The mundanes around him were calling 911 to report the accident. Mundanes were useless at times like this. As was Alec. He couldn't take out his stele and draw a rune like he could with Jace or Clary or Isabelle. They would burn Max.

"Is the boy okay? Is he breathing?" Someone asked.

"Sir, are you okay?" Someone else asked.

Alec shook his head, not really hearing what they were saying. "He's dead. My son.....he's dead." He stroked Max's hair from his eyes. "Hush, little blueberry.....hush....."

There was an awkward silence as Alec picked up Max's lifeless body and brought him ack to the institute, ignoring the mundanes that were calling out to him to wait for the ambulance. Mundanes. Useless.

The walk back to the institute seemed to take less than a second. Jace and Clary were reading over a report when he walked in, blood staining his shirt and Max dangling lifeless in his arms. Jace saw him first, and he rushed over, yelling at Clary to get Magnus.

Alec was on the floor when Magnus rushed out of a portal, with Rafe close behind. Time seemed to go in slow motion as Magnus saw Max's limp body on the floor and cried out in anguish. His yell was so powerful that the lights of the institute (and within ten blocks) exploded and went out. Even Rafe was screaming, shaking Max and screaming for him to get up.

They tried everything. Magnus cast the most powerful spells he knew. They tried contacting the Silent Brothers. They even contacted Tessa Gray, but with no avail. She wouldn't give them anything except her heartfelt condolences.

"I'm so sorry for your loss.....but we can't tinker with the circle of life. Everything happens for a-"

Alec covered his ears and screamed. He refused to believe that this was it. That Max was gone. Both of his Max's were gone and it was all his fault. If he had been keeping a better eye on Max, this wouldn't have happened. Max would still be alive. Both of them.

Magnus had locked himself away in their room at their apartment, refusing to eat, speak or drink. Rafe was in the living room, crying and wiping his tears as he rocked back and forth. Chairman Meow was curled up beside him, putting in an attempt to cheer him up.

"Rafe? Has your father left the room yet?" Alec whispered.

Rafe shook his head. "No. He's been pacing all day. I could hear him. Dad? Is Max really gone?"

Alec looked down at his oldest son. Rafe was always brave. Ever since Alec brought him home from South America, he always put on a brave face, especially for his brother. "Yes. Max is really gone. I'm sorry, Rafe. I'm so sorry."

Rafe shook his head. "Don't be. It wasn't your fault," he hugged Alec before heading to his own room. Alec heard the door close and soft sobbing was soon wafting from his room.

Alec decided to talk to Magnus, whether Magnus wanted to or not. This pacing and ignoring the rest of his family wasn't healthy and it was probably scaring Rafe. Alec knocked on the bedroom door.

"Magnus? I'm coming in...." Alec cracked open the door. Peering in, he saw the room was a mess and Magnus matched it. His usually styled hair was flat against his head and his face was makeup free, making him look younger.

"Alexander. I don't want to talk right now. I'm on the verge of discovering a spell that could bring back Blueberry. I'm so close!"

Alec watched him pace the room again, mumbling something in another language. "Magnus, we really need to talk. About Max. About what....how we need to handle this."

Magnus paused. "Handle what? I'm bringing him back, Alec. Don't worry. Little Blueberry will be back in no time."

Alec frowned. Magnus had clearly lost his mind. His way of grieving was trying to find a spell to bring back their son, and it wasn't healthy.

Alec slipped out of the room. Rafe's room was only next door so he went inside and gathered his son up in his arms.

"Dad? What's wrong? Where are we going?" Rafe asked as Alec packed a small bag with some clothes and toys.

"We can't be here right now, Raphael. Not while your father's....grieving. It's not safe. We need to give him space."

Raphael didn't question him any further. He just nodded and helped Alec pack the bag. He didn't cry anymore or ask questions which in Alec's mind was fine. Maybe he knew that Magnus wasn't himself and that it wasn't safe to be here in the apartment with him.

Alec and Rafe arrived at the institute, with Rafe asleep in his arms when Jace came downstairs with Clary by his side.

"Alec? What's wrong?" Jace took Alec's bags and set them down in a chair.

"I.....can't be with Magnus right now. He's not himself. He's trying to find a spell to bring back Max and I think it's scaring Rafe...." Alec looked down at his son, who was still sound asleep in his arms.

Clary frowned. "Let me bring him upstairs. He looks exhausted."

Alec handed Rafe to Clary and watched as she brought him upstairs, stroking his hair and whispering softly. "She's going to make a great mom one day."

Jace half smiled. "Yeah. I know. She's great with kids...." He looked at his parabatai, a frown on his face. "Are you sure you're okay? You and Magnus?"

Alec shrugged. "Right now, I'm not so sure. I'm just going to give him space and room to grieve. Hopefully he'll abandon this whole idea of raising the dead. Nothing good can come from it. Nothing ever does."

Jace hugged Alec tightly. "You're always welcome here, brother. Stay as long as you like. As for Magnus....do you ever think you'll ever go back?"

Alec sighed heavily. "I have no idea, Jace. I might never go back. He probably blames me for Max's death."

"Nobody blames you but yourself, Alec. It wasn't your fault-"

"It was, Jace. It was my fault. I wasn't watching him and he wandered off and I-" His voice broke as he choked on a sob. "I killed him, Jace. I killed my son. I let him die!"

Jace grabbed his parabatai and held him tight. He didn't speak; he just held Alec in his arms and let him cry, which was something Alec never did. He was always the one to hide his true feelings, even when they were children.

"Jace....I'm so tired...." Alec took a deep breath and sighed. "So tired....."

"I know, parabatai. I know. Let's get you up in your old room. You need to get some sleep. Tomorrow is a new day filled with possibilities-"

Alec chuckled. "That's cheesy. Even for you."

"Yeah well I try," Jace smirked and pulled Alec to his feet. "Need anything? Water? Sandwich? Cosmopolitan magazine?"

"I'm fine. I just need to sleep it off. I'll figure things out in the morning."

Jace nodded. "Sure thing. If you need anything, just give me a shout. We're still family. Regardless of what happens."

Alec nodded, giving Jace a final hug before slipping into his room. Rafe was curled up into a ball, a quilt spread out over him. Crawling into the bed beside him, Alec wrapped an arm around his oldest son and held him close. Rafe yawned but didn't wake up. He was too tired to open his eyes and ask any questions.

Alec sighed and kissed his son's head before closing his own eyes, and prayed to Raziel that tomorrow would be easier on them both.