my heart has been
beaten and battered
for far too long.
pounded and ground up
into fine sand, only to be
dumped into the sea,
lost in the tide.
some nights, i long for someone,
anyone, to hold me.
but the truth is, i do not mind
waiting for someone to come along,
so long as they treat me well.
i do not know how long i'll wait,
or where i'll meet him,
or what his name will be.
i do not know what will make him,
him.
but i can only imagine.
i hope he feels like
friday nights and city lights.
i hope his voice is like
buttercream frosting
and warm summer nights.
i hope he tastes like
the poetry i wish i could write.
i hope he is sweet
like candy store lollipops
and watermelon frozen yogurt.
but above all else,
i hope he is real.
i hope he is completely
and utterly
real.
i hope he is no longer
a picture i draw in my mind,
no longer the words
i whisper to myself.
i hope he is wholly imperfect
and flawed.
i hope he is human.
i hope he has a heart built to be loved.
i do not care
if he is a doctor,
a lawyer, or a cashier.
i do not care
if he has a 2019 ferrari
or a 1999 toyota corolla.
i do not care
if he is 6'5" or 5'3".
because when we are old and gray,
looks no longer matter.
just character
and companionship.
more than anything,
i hope he is my best friend.

-when they ask what i want in a man