i never thought i'd be the one to do the damage. nothing feels right anymore. i'm trying to explain but i can't find the words. i'm stuck in a loop of wanting to be free and wanting to run into your arms and beg for forgiveness. i don't deserve foriveness. i feel like i've started something and there's only one way to finish it. the guilt eats away at me. you deserve better than this. you deserve better than me. i can't control myself. the littlest thing sets me off and i'm trying to escape. the truth is, i just want you to find someone who fits with the things you do. who doesn't see your tendencies as mistakes and asks you to change. i don't want you to change. i don't want me to change either. we'd be better off without each other but i don't know what to say. i'm so sorry baby. i love you more than anything. i wish it wasn't this way. remember when we used to be so wholly and utterly obsessed with each other. how fights weren't filled with so much tension because back then, we didn't fear the conversation would end with i'm breaking up with you. remember how nothing could drive us apart. i miss that. i miss all of that. i miss what we had. i miss what we were. i miss you. i'm sorry for causing you this pain. i just want us both to be free of this. i'm sorry that i wasn't enough. i'm sorry i failed.