Chapter Two: Why Do You Think I'm Weak?

"Stock."

"Currency."

"Value."

"Time."

"The public."

Nonsense, every word being spoken was slurring together and becoming absolute nonsense. I hated meetings, I hated them so much. Especially, when they were full of old, fat, and drying men. All they did was sit and talk about money and how much they would be getting or losing, it was boring. To be honest I would rather be sleeping, or even completing some files, than be here. But, as Mr. Ezana's Secretary / Assistant / whatever it said in my portfolio- I had to be here.

I looked down at the tape recorder in front of me with great interest. It was the only interesting thing in this room. The way the buttons were arranged and the way the red light pulsed was just...beautiful. The only beautiful thing here other than me. Not one of these males were attractive. Normally I would have at least one piece of eye candy to goggle at for a couple of hours. But, this time it was just middle aged men and higher. And don't get me wrong, I liked my DILFS, but these men were definitely not that.

Zoning out the business people talk I started to think about the "surprise" Alam had for me. The fact that the surprise was another meeting took away almost all the excitement. Maybe the meeting was a negation over a sex toy company? That would be exciting, several years of abstinence was boring and tiring. Alam knew of my struggles, although not in detail, so it would make sense for that to be the surprise. And it wouldn't be the first time something ludicrous was brought up as a meeting. The nonsense I constantly had to sit through didn't even need to be mentioned. But, realistically, Alam would never surprise me with that. That's not professional, that's inappropriate.

I knew the meeting was over once a hand was gently placed on my shoulder followed by a firm squeeze. Alam always did that because he knew I was most likely in a trance or daydreaming so if my name were to be called or if the atmosphere of the room had changed I wouldn't notice. It had happened before with me being left by myself in an empty room for almost twenty minutes without me noticing.

"It' time to go, Alonza." His deep voice rumbled while collecting hi papers and instruments he had used for his presentation.

"Yeah, I got that," I chuckled out after pressing stop on the recorder. On days where we had meetings we would normally spend the rest or our working hours in our office with some takeout and our computers. Alam and I would finish up files until the clock hit 7. But, our usual walk to the office was taking quite sometime and we seemed to be making a lot of unnecessary and foreign turns. "Um, Mister, I believe we missed a turn at some point. Normally I'm all for the follow the leader thing but the leader is starting to look a little suspicious." I commented, stopping abruptly and grabbing Alam's arm. Such a strong forearm...

"We're going to my car; the rest of our day is cleared." Okay, a car, interesting.

"I have my own car though."

"I know this, Alonza." Alam laughed with that statement. I didn't really know what was that funny. I was actually quite confused.

"So why are we both going to your car?"

"Because we are both going to the same location." I stared at Alam blankly and he stared back. I was trying to look intimidating and annoyed but that vibe didn't seem to be coming out because he seemed to be amused with me. I didn't understand why he was making me drag out every single word out of him. The surprise wasn't until a certain amount of days that I forgot so this suspense was unnecessary.

"Alam, where are we going? And if you don't give me a straight answer right now I am going to tell Mrs. Fron that you agreed to finally go on a date with her. I'll do it, I swear." Alam's dark brown eyes widened and his lips parted slightly, almost as if he was going to gasp. But he didn't, Alam never shows that much emotion. The thought of going on a date with Fron was enticing to some but for some reason Alam found it quite terrifying and disgusting. I really didn't understand the reason why. Fron was sexy, she was a bitch, but she was a sexy bitch.

"You won't."

"I will though." A silence followed along with a staring match. This type of behavior was usual. Even though Alam seemed like a hard-ass he was quite playful. Not with everyone though, just certain people. And since I could hardly be serious he had to be playful with me often, he did it while maintaining a naturally professional persona though.

I pierced my eyes even more just so he knew I wasn't playing games then Alam finally sighed which meant he had broken. "We're going to a party." A party? Yeah, no. I didn't do parties. I did school, work, and sleep. Parties were not something that I spent my time on. I hadn't been to a party in years. They were just not my style anymore, and Alam knew that.

"Oh, wow, I'm so tired. I don't even think I can walk to my care if I'm being honest. I don't even think I can sta-" I dramatically tripped over air and into Alam's arms to add effect to my sudden fatigue. I could literally feel Alam's eyes rolling to the back of his head and fought the urge to laugh. I was in character.

"I'll pay you for your time." I suddenly sprang up, fixing my shirt and straightening pants before beginning to walk again.

"That's really all you had to say. So where is this party? Uptown or down?" A small smile crept to Alam's face while he shook his head and began to follow me to his car.

"Iv'e heard that it gets quite wild, that's why I invited you."

"But, I'm not wild." I was wild.

"But you know what it's like to be wild. There is going to be a person there that I am trying to meet. He's a very low-key guy in the business world and likes to waste his time at local parties and anywhere where liquor is free. I got a tip that he would be at this party tonight and if this is my once chance to find him and get him to talk about partnering on a new launch with me I'm going to use it." I stopped listening after he said the word business so I didn't really know what we were going to this party for but it didn't sound fun and the money wasn't looking like it was worth it.

"So, this is for business...not just to party?" Alam looked at me with a confused expression.

"Why would I ever go somewhere just to party?" Why would you not? Because this is a sophisticated business world. I almost forgot that these types of people only went to parties to talk about new ways to make money. I suddenly felt tired again.

I had never been around an environment so focused on currency until I moved to Seattle. Back home money was a thing but it was never a thong. I had an abundance of it actually, but it wasn't something i constantly thought about. The amount of calculations and thinking that went on around here on just money alone had perplexed me to the core. I knew I was helping a business be run but I never truly processed that business just met cash. It was quite sad to me.

"If we're not going to have fun I'm not going, I will walk straight to my car and go home and still get paid." I stated, immediately changing directions and walking towards the lower exit. Alam liked to park high up, closer to the sky than to the floor. I felt that parking on the top level of the building was very unsafe in the case of an emergency. So, I made sure Alam had a spot reserved for me on the ground floor, which was exactly where I was heading.

"I will not pay you for sleeping." Alam stated firmly and I stopped mid stride, turning towards him with confusion.

"Then what have you been doing this whole time?" I asked with mock sincerity and he glared at me. It didn't scare me, his glares were a lot like a puppy trying to growl. You could tell they were serious and were really trying to look scary but it just wasn't happening for them and they instead just looked extremely adorable. Or, in Alam's case, extremely sexy. "Alam, no sane person goes to a party voluntarily and doesn't have fun at some point. You can take care of business, sure, but you have to have a little bit of fun." I insisted. This was more for my benefit than his. I had rejected so many party invites solely due to the fact that i had been determined ot become a new person. And now, the person who was supposed to be guiding me into a better life was trying to bring me back to one of my old ways. So, if I was going to take a little trip to the past I might as well make the trip worthwhile.

"If I promise to spend at least an hour of having fun will you go?" Alam knew his question didn't need an answer. Our night of adventure was sealed and I was beyond excited- and a little scared. I knew I wasn't going to act as I did in past years. That girl was reckless and irresponsible. Tonight, I was going to have fun, but in a more sophisticated way. One where I didn't end up trashed or with the feel of someone else's sweat mixed with mine on my skin. Alam didn't know it but he had just designated me with the responsibly of making me have a new type of fun and him to just have fun in general. That responsibility was one I was taking great pride in. "You look like you're plotting something so I'm revoking my invite."Alam said after a while of my cheery silence and I rolled my eyes at his sly remark and quickly made my way to Alam's car. It was 3 p.m which was a little early to be getting ready for a party. Why was he making us leave so early? A lot of work could be done before the party and Alam was ever one to waste time.

"Where else are we going?"

"Didn't I already say we were going to my house?" Um, no.

"Alam if I have to force something else out of you I'm going to actually punch you in your face." I wasn't but he was making me mad. I was getting tired of this constant back and forth over simple things. I never did this to him; I was always straight to the point, so I didn't know why he was being so extra today. I didn't know why i was acting so feisty either. Ever since that call from my father I had begun to acgt slightly different form my usual behavior. My short but thought out remarks had transformed into automatic spurts of whatever had first come to my head. It was how I sued to act, or speak, i could slowly feel the old me coming back and that feeling greatly troubled me. I had fought so hard ti surpress that mess of a person and just one reminder of the past was bringing back some of my old ways. Alam hadn't seemed to notice though. That was good.

"You've been asking too much questions. Just relax and enjoy the ride." So extra.

~

"This is the last time I'm making this for you so you better savor it." I warned Alam before cooping him some of the sorbet out of the ice cream maker. He had forced me into his home against my will to make him a frozen dessert. To say I felt used would be an understatement. You would think Alam would invite me over to imply hang with a friend but no- I was here to make food.

"You know you love making food for me." Alam spoke lowly, suddenly standing behind me. My breath hitched for a quick moment and my heart began to race just a little bit. I quickly consumed myself before handing Alam his cup of sorbet and putting space between us. His proximity wouldn't have been that serious to others but for me it was enough to spark a type of heat that I didn't need. The good thing about abstinence was... nothing. There was nothing good about it. The fact that I actually tried to think of a pro and came up with nothing was slightly depressing. It was just something I was doing because my therapist recommended it for me when our sessions first started. My attachment to sex was one that was unhealthy and I either needed to fix it with growth which would involve emotional breakthroughs and me having to actually do it. Or, I could fix the problem by simply not having sex. I chose the latter. The bad thing about choosing the latter was the fact that I was almost always horny. So Alam, with his height, those perfectly sculpted and full lips, those beautiful waves that rested atop of his head the muscle that graced his whole entire body, that manly scent that just followed him everywhere, th- everything. Just everything about Alam was a threat to my "long term" commitment.

Alam didn't know of this, he didn't need to either. He wasn't a touchy person, he hardly ever voluntarily placed a finger on me, but he liked to get in peoples personal space. I didn't know if it was a power thing for him, something to make him seem more secure and higher than you, but he did it. There would be times where he would be showing me how to do something on the computer and he would lean over me, placing his arm around me, and his head right next to mine- and each time I would almost die. Or, there be times where he would help me carry something to my car that might have been too heavy for me and instead of keeping a normal distance from as he followed me, he would make sure he walked right next to me, matching my stride, with his arms constantly brushing mine throughout the whole time. Little things like that drove me crazy, but, once again he didn't need to know that.

"Your father told me that he was sending you to come visit him soon. How do you feel about that Alonza?" Like absolute shit.

"I feel indifferent." I lied and Alam gave me one of knowing looks. I got those a lot from him. "I don't want to see them." I admitted. Alam led me from the kitchen to his living room where we settled on the couch. He sat on the right side with a pillow covering his lap and I sat on the left with a blanket draped over my thigh, the usual position.

"It's been three years Alonza, you can't just leave your family behind. They deserve to ser you and your soul needs to be back in touch with them." I gagged in my head at Alam's choice of words. The man was the most spiritual person I had ever met. Along with him having his professional persona he had his spiritual 'in touch with the earth' one too. He often sounded like a stereotypical Native American, or maybe that was part of the culture of many Ethiopians- I wouldn't know.

"I will not be myself when I come back, I can feel it." I responded with a tint of warning. When I first got to Seattle I was a nuisance, Alam knew this. I knew if i was around my family for an extended period of time, two weeks was enough, some of my old ways would come back. Those ways weren't some of my best.

"Alonza, I promise you, whatever way you come back as is the way you are supposed to be. Bringing around blood will not bring back your negative traits but it will shine light on your natural ones. The traits engraved into your soul."

"You know what's about to be engraved into your soul," I smirked, the excitement almost bubbling out of me.

"What?"

"Fun! Because we are about to party!" Alam didn't look interested in the adventure he was about to partake in but it didn't matter. Tonight I was going to let myself a little loose because God knew i needed it. Tonight was going to be the sun before the storm and it was going to be extra hot. Maybe just a little warm. Yeah, tonight was going to be warm. Extra warm.