Why am I such a screw-up?
I push people away because I think its better for them, even if they fight to stay. I feel so selfish even if I think I'm helping them.

I hate it.   
~~~~~~~~~~~ 

*Alex* 


That day was pretty crappy from that morning. The day dragged on, and it couldn't seem to go any slower. 

I sat down in my first class and slammed my head down on the desk. 

"Whats up Alex?" I hear a sweet voice. I look up and am met with the one and only Eliza. 
"Uhg, nothing," I say. I can hear myself sounding beaten and miserable. Why should I be, I got what I wanted.

"Well, I'm not going to state the obvious, so I'll just ask- What happened?" She sits down next to and leans her head on her elbow.

"I push people away, don't I?" She seemed caught off guard with that question. 
"Uh, well, um... sometimes?" It came out more of a question than an answer. I just nod and slam my head on the dek once again. 

"Well, I mean, you only mean the best for it!" I heard Eliza quickly add. 
"But it would hurt more to push them away than for them to endure with me. I know that. But I do it anyway 'Liza. Ugh!" 

"Look, Alex, you only mean the best for those you care about. If you push them away, then you either really care about them or you hate them. So who was it this time?" This was no longer Eliza but it was now her older sister. 

"Thomas," I mumble. 
"Alex... speak up." She says sternly. 
"Fine! It was Thomas! Okay, Angie?" Eliza and Angelica both looked stunned. 
"Alex!" They exclaim at the same time. 
"I know!" I throw my hand up in the air, frustrated with myself. 
"Why would you do that?!" 
"Because of me, he had an anxiety attack yesterday! He even said it was because of me!" Their faces soften. 
"So you care about him." 
"What?" 
"Like I said, when you push someone away, you either hate them or care about them. Judging on your reason for doing it, you care about him." 
I look down then back up at them. 
"I guess so. That doesn't make it better." 
"I know Lex," Eliza says, placing a hand on my shoulder. 


From then the day went on the same. Just slower. Then free period came. 

"I'll be back guys, I''m going to go get some coffee." I had explained to my friends the whole situation. They made it seem like it was all fine. It wasn't, to be clear. But they made me forget about for a while. 

So I went to get coffee. 

I walked in and searched the menu. Maybe I'll try a new coffee today? 

As I was scanning the menu I heard a small gasp and a groan from behind the counter. 

I looked down to begin ordering my usual, deciding against something new and saw Thoams standing there looking annoyed but hurt.

My words got jumbled up in my throat. 
"I'll have an um, an um..." 
"Black it is," He said annoyed. 
I nod and sit down.  

Waiting, I looked out of the windows. 
It was a cool autumn this year, and the orange, yellow and red leaves were scattered across the ground and sky. 

"Here." 
I turn and see a steaming coffee sitting on the counter. I reach for my wallet and pay for the coffee, fumbling with the cents.

"Here you go 4.25 aaannnndddd... here." I put a 10 dollar tip. 

I begin to walk out. 

"Ale-err, um Hamilton!!" I turn and look at him. 
"We're not friends! Remember?" He's waving the 10 dollar bill in the air dramatically. 
"I know, I always leave tips."

I turn and walk out, hearing a small chuckle behind me as I close the door.

I smile slightly. 


*Thomas* 

I spend the rest of my day with my head down and not paying attention to whatever it was that was being taught. At free period I headed towards the cafe. I get my paycheck today! Yes! One upside to today. I start rushing for the cafe. I waltz in and see the manager writing out numbers and signing checks. I smile. I begin to get ready for my shift and begin working. 

He hands me a rectangular slip of paper. I get excited and then look at the amount I'm paid.

20 bucks!?? 

"Um, sir?" 
"What?" He grumbles. 
"I'm here more than any other employee, and I only get 20 bucks for 2 weeks worth of work?!" 
"Yeah." 
"I need more!" 
"Look, kid, you are the newest hire, don't expect a high amount of pay. You'll have more next paycheck." 
"I'm living paycheck to paycheck, and I paid every two weeks, I cant live on this!" 
"I'm just doing my job, I would take what you can get before you don't have anything to take." 

I sigh and get back to work. I see a familiar head of hair and turn around, not thinking much of it. 

It's probably no him, he wouldn't come here. 

I turn back and see him, staring at the menu. I gasp slightly and groan. He looks down. Once he sees who it is he seems frozen and dumbfounded. 

You knew I work here you imbecile. <900 words>

"I'll have an um, an um..." He jumbles out. I ring up his usual. 
"Black it is," He nods and goes to sit down. 

I make his coffee and turn around. He's staring out of the window looking like a little kid. His eyes big and his brow furrowed in thought. I sit staring for a bit. He looks so calm and still. I never see Alex like this. He is always moving, talking... working. 

"Here," I grumble out.. 

He turns and looks at me before coming up to pay. 

  "Here you go 4.25 aaannnndddd... here." 
He begins to walk out, I'm stunned by the tip. that is over double what he paid. 

"Ale-err, um Hamilton!!" He turns and looks at me. 
"We're not friends! Remember?" I'm waving the 10 dollar bill in the air dramatically.
"I know, I always leave tips."He smirks before walking out. 

I chuckle a bit. I made 30 dollars today! Thanks, Alex. 

Still hate you though!
But do I?

*Alex* 

Ever since that day, Thomas and have been distant. I don't go to the cafe anymore, and he doesn't look at me in any classes we have together. 

We've both been giving each other the cold shoulder. My life seemed a little bit emptier, but I got over it. 

Tomorrow is a squad day and everyone is coming. I invited Madison just cause we became friends, although he had joined Thomas in giving me the cold shoulder. He didnt like what I did to Thomas. 




A/N WOW! look updates 2 days in a row! Well, yall know what next chapter means! MOre of the Revolutionaries! And angst and drama! I've gots a plan! Well thank you for reading and if you read this far double thank you, hope you enjoyed and 
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEE!

-1186 words