"Alexander. Please. Don't leave me." 

~~~~~~~~~~~ 

*Poor Tommy boy* 

The door bursts open and they take him away. They take Alex away from me. I chase after him to the ambulance. But they don't let me in. 

I crumble in the spot on the road where the ambulance once was. 

I should have been there for him. 

If he dies it's because I couldn't be there enough for him. 

James runs to my side and attempts to pick me up. I can barley stand, crying my eyes out. 

"Thomas come one get up, we can get to him at the hospital." 

I manage to pick myself up and stagger to James' car. 

The car ride is silent except for my whimpers from the passenger side. 

"Thomas, we're here come on." 

"W-what if  he d-dies James?" 

"He's strong. He'll make it." James doesn't even sound confident. I slowly get out of the car and stumble into the hospital. 

"Alexander Hamilton! Please! Is he here is he okay?!" I run in screaming for Alex. 

"Sir please calm down. Who is it your here for?"  I was about to yell again but James stepped in. 

"We're here for Alexander Hamilton." He said calmly. 

"He's in surgery right now. You'll be able to see him once he's out. Only family though." My heart shatters . 

"Please! I need to see him!" 

"How do you know Mr.Hamilton?" 

"I'm his friend! Please! I need to see him." The tears streamed faster down my face. 

"I'm sorry sir, only family." I look down and back ups little bit mumbling-

 " please.... I need to see him."

James dragged me over to a seat and sat me down. He started calling people. It was still in the middle of the night.what could he be doing? 

*James* ( unusual) 

I started to call all of Alex's friends. Even if it wakes them up, they need to know. I start with John. 

" James why are calling me now of all-" 

"Alex is in the hospital." 

"WHAT!? WHY?! I told y'all to take care of him!" 

"H-he stabbed himself." I choke out, tears pricking sr my eyes. 

"W-what..." John sounded devastated. 

"We're at the hospital closest to campus. I can't remsmber the name. Cont quickly I'll explain more later." 

" okay...." 

I call the rest of the group an their reactions were all different 

"Herc?" 

" I SWEAR IM GONNA KILL THOMAS!" He hung up after that. 

Everyone else except Angelica we're all full of tears. 

" ALEXANDER I SWEAR IM GONNA KILL YOU IF YOU SURVIVE!"

We waited in silence. Not aware if Alex was okay or out if surgery.  

Thomas seemed most broken up about it. He sat, head in his hands sobbing as quietly as he could. He mumbled a few things every now and then. 

"This is my fault." 

"What if he dies?" 

"I need to see him." 

Everyone came in all at once. Herc running straight for Thomas. Thomas head down and crying didn't see him. 

"Thomas! I told you to take care of him! Why was that so hard?!" Thomas was broken enough. I felt bad for him. 

"I-I t-tried! I t-tried t-to s-stop him! I-it's all my-fault!" He barley choked out. 

"It is your fault!" 

"Herc stop cant you see he's hurt?! He blames himself even though it's not his fault!" Eliza shouts. 

It was quiet and people were giving us weird looks for all the noise. 

"Alexander Hamilton." The front desk person spoke. All of us jumped up at once. 

"Yes?" We said. 

" He is out of surgery and alive. Who here if his family?" It was silent. "Does he not have Family?" 

"Washington!" John shouted. "Hold On!" He walked outside tears still streaming down his face quickly. 

*John*

I walked outside dialing a number and waiting for a response. 

"John? Why are you calling me so late?" I sniffed and wiped my tears away as more cane down.

"He's in the hospital sir." 

"What?! Who?!" I could hear that he was hoping it wasn't lex. 

"Alex. H-he tried to s-stab himself." I say my crying getting in the way of my words. 

"I'm on my way there." 

The call ended but I stayed where I was until someone tapped me on the shoulder. 

"John? Did Washington answer?" I nod. 

"Are you okay?" 

"Peg my best friend who is like a brother to me is in the hospital because he tried to stab himself and I can't see him!" 

It was quiet before I broke down. 

"Come here. It's okay John. It'll be okay." I walked to Peggy and hugged her tightly. 

We walked inside together. Our group was still swarmed around the front desk.

"His dad is coming. There he is now!" 

Washington rushedninnwith Martha following behind him. 

"I'm his dad, and this is his mother. Alexander Hamilton is he okay?!" Washington's voice boomed as he spoke of his son. 

"Ah, yes right this way sir." Martha and George followed behind the nurse. Poor Martha. Alex was he only kid and he meant a lot to her. 

The rest of us waited. 

And waited 

And waited 

Y'all get the point. We waited a long time. 

*Thomas*

"Alexander Hamilton?" The nurse called we all rushed up. He was caught of guard at the amount of people here for him. 

"Well I see that he is loved. Um, 1 at a time." 

We talk amongst ourselves deciding that John would go first. 

Laf 

Herc

Eliza

Angelica

Peggy

Thomas 

Then James. 

I couldn't stop moving. I was nervous and scared to see Alexander looking so broken and helpless. 

Peggy walked out of the room, tears flooding her face slowly walking to me.  She patted me on the shoulder and gave me a small smile before continuing to her sisters. 

I walked quickly to Alexander's room. 

He laid there looking pale,broken and weak. My knees go weak as I stumble to a chair and pull it towards his bed. 

I took his hand in mind and stared at his face. He didn't look peaceful. His brows were scrunched  and his mouth in a straight line. 

"I know you won't know that I'm saying anything to you but, I'm gonna talk anyway." I took in a deep breath. 

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you and protect your from this. It isn't much use now cause here we are. I know your in pain and that you wanted to end it, but I need you. It's selfish of me to want you to stay because I need you even though you have pain but others are here for you too. George, Martha, The Schuyler's, Laf, Herc,John even James. We need you. You brighten the room with your smile." 

I smile a little thinking fondly on the smile on his face as we stood by the lake.?

"Please stay. At least for your family." 

I feel my tears begin clogging my words. I have to take a deep breath. 

"John is so hurt. He thinks this is because of him. Laf has never cried more. Herc is trying to stay strong but he sheds a few tears. Eliza is on the verge of passing out from crying for you. Angelica is trying to be strong for her sisters but she is crying as much as Eliza too. Peggy. Your prankster in crime. She's barley able to breath. She keeps mumbling the times you two were scheming new pranks." 

I can barley speak anymore. 

"James, h-he doesn't know what to do. He's trying to be there for everyone else. But he cries and  barley leaves his seat in the corner. Even George is crying. You know him. He never cries. And Martha. I think she is hurt the most out of everyone. You are her only kid. She can't loose you too." 

I hear sniffles. But not from me. I look to the door and see the group standing there. I smile a small smile and turn back to Alexander. 

" I was afraid to come in here and see you. See you so broken and weak looking. Because that's not you. You work too much but always make time for everyone. Your always so strong. There for anyone. Pull through please. We can't loose our sunshine on rainy days, our seatbelts in a car crash. We can't loose our family." 

It's silent except for a few sniffles. Suddenly a wave washes over me and I crash.  I loose all sense of feeling. 

Martha comes in and helps me stand. But I don't want to leave. I can't leave him. Martha can't control me so Washington comes and picks me up. I kick and shout for me to stay. He just holds me tighter. 

"I know Thomas. I know." I push my face to his chest and cry more. Gripping his shirt tightly. 

I felt like I already lost him. 

I don't stop crying for who knows how long. 

I cried while George drove me to his home. 

I cried while he set me on a bed. 

I cried while Martha came in and sat with me. 

It just wouldn't stop. 

The entire group stayed over at the Washington's because nobody wanted to be by themselves. 

They all came in and laid down with me. 

It was silent except whimpers and sniffles every now and then. 

I was tired from crying and screaming, but I couldn't sleep. I kept telling myself that this was my fault. I should have been in the same room with him. I should have made him feel more loved. Herc was right. 

I laid awake being snuggled by many people. The only person awake besides me was Eliza. 

"Eliza? Why are you up?" 

"Couldn't sleep. What's out you?" 

"Couldn't sleep." 

"It's not your fault ya know." 

"But it is! I could've done so much more for him." 

"It's not your fault Thomas!" I'm wide eyes surprised by Eliza's tone. 

"You did all you could. You made him feel loved. The day you took him to the lake was the happiest I've seen him in a while. Why y'all stopped talking I don't know but you made him happy." She yelled quietly. 

There was silence before I spoke, wiping tears away as I did so. 

"I kissed him." 

"What?" 

"That's why we stopped talking. I guess he doesn't like me that way." My heart broke a little at those words. 

"How do you know? He didn't want to be with anyone else that night. He screamed and begged to stay with you." 

"Cause I intimidated Burr so he wouldn't come to my dorm. It's logical." 

"That's why he says but do you think that's really why? Burr could easily be intimidated by Herc." 

I thought on this but had no answer. 

"His panic attacks, he doesn't let anyone touch him ever." 

"He lets me touch him." I say confused. 

"Mhm. Exactly. He trusts you. And in my opinion loves you." 

I cried a bit more at the thought of being able to tell him that I love him. 

Would I get that chance?

Eliza walked off and fell asleep by her sisters. 

I stayed awake. Waiting to go back to the gloomy hospital. 

A/N- HHHEEEEYYYY THHHEEERRREEE! SADNESS! Anyway hope y'all enjoyed the sadness thanks for reading, commenting and voting. And 

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Words-1877