I saw how hard he tried to fasten his breathing while he is looking at me with so much love. He kissed me passionately and uttered how much he wants to be with me forever. Watching him devastated because of me hurts like hell.

He was the one who stayed by my side when I was too broken. He picked every shattered piece of my heart without thinking that he might get hurt in the process. He took care of me and did everything to bring back the colors in my life. Kit is deeply in love with me, deep enough to lose himself in the process.

"I am sorry Ma'am, she really is not feeling well since this morning," hinging paumanhin ni Kit para sa akin kay Mrs. Gomez nang masita ako nito dahil sa hindi ako nakasagot sa recitation.

Pangatlong tanong na ito sa akin ng guro ko at kahit isa'y wala akong nasagot. Nakatayo't nayuko ako ngayon habang kinakausap ng ginang. Hindi ko kayang itaas ang aking tingin dahil ramdam ko ang pag-iinit ng gilid ng aking mata. Sigurado akong isang tingin ko lang sa nahahabag na mukha ng aking mga kaklase ay maluluha ako.

I always hate being the center of attention. I don't like the tension it brings me every time I am being talked about. Pero paano ko nga ba ito matatakasan ngayon? Mahigit isang buwan na nang mailibing ang mga magulang ko subalit ito pa rin ako at nagluluksa.

I became abnormally mute. I only speak whenever I feel the need to open my mouth. Maski mga kaibigan ko pa ang sumusubok na makipag-usap sa akin ay hindi ko magawang ibuka ang bibig ko. Palaging tipid na ngiti o hindi kaya'y iling na ang naisasagot ko.

"I know you're lying, Mr. Dela Vega. I am not stupid, and I won't tolerate Ms. Revamonte's behavior towards my class. Kung ang ibang guro ay hinahayaan siyang ganiyan, p'wes ako hindi."

Sumihap ang klase nang marinig ang sinabi ng guro. Ilan sa kanila ay nagawa pang umalma para ipagtanggol ako.

"I'm... I'm sorry, Mrs. Gomez. It will not happen again," usal ko.

Naramdaman ko ang kamay ni Kit sa ibabaw ng aking palad. Tila ba binibigyan niya ako ng lakas para magsalita. His mere touch gives me the courage to straighten my shoulders and lift my face.

"It's just that, I am still mourning for the death of my parents. I promise that this won't happen again."

"I'll hold on to your promise, then. Ilang pagsusulit na ang naibagsak mo. Palagi kang wala sa sarili habang nagtuturo ang guro sa harap, at sa mga recitations ay hindi ka nakikilahok. I know how messed up you are right now. That's why I suggest you undergo medication and consult a doctor that will help you with the anxiety and depression that you are dealing with. Depression shouldn't be taken lightly, hija."

Kalagitnaan pa lang ng sinasabi nito ay umiiling na ako. Maraming nagsasabi sa akin na kailangan ko ng tulong. Pero palagi kong isinasarado ang usaping iyon dahil alam ko sa sarili kong magagawa kong lampasan ang depresyong ito kahit na walang doktor.

Lumipas ang ilang araw ay unti-unti kong pinilit ibalik ang aking sigla. Sinubukan kong lumabas kasama ang mga kaibigan ko tulad ng dati. Hindi ako pumayag na maiwang mag-isa dahil naiisip ko ang aking mga magulang. Sa pagtulog ay kasama ko sa k'warto si Lola. Sa eskwela ay ang mga kaibigan, at bukod pa ro'n ay si Kit na halos hindi na iniwan pa ang aking tabi.

Nahihiya man akong aminin pero ang taong higit kong kinaaayawan ang siya palang tutulong sa akin. Sumasali na ako sa mga k'wentuhan dahil palagi akong isinasama ni Kit sa usapan. Nagagawa ko na ring tumawa dahil sa kakulitan at pagiging kengkoy ni Kit sa akin. Maging sa klase ay naging normal na ulit ako. Hindi na ako muling napagalitan pa dahil nakasasagot na ako sa mga tanong at nakababawi na rin sa mga markang naibagsak ko.

Lahat iyon ay dahil kay Kit Dela Vega. Pinilit niya ang sarili niyang makinig sa boring discussion ng teacher namin para maituro niya ito sa akin. Alam niyang wala pa ako sa sarili ko kaya siya ang nagdusa sa esk'wela para sa akin. He does his best to help me. Lahat ng paghihirap na dapat sa akin mapunta ay sinasalo niya, kaya naman hindi kataka-takang mahulog din ang loob ko sa kan'ya kalaunan.

So many little voices with too many rants, whispering in my ears and running in my head. I felt like I was drowning like a madman in the depth of an ocean. I tried to touch his face to wipe his tears away but life did not let me.

"Stop crying hon, don't waste your tears for me. I don't deserve it," I swiftly said as I closed my eyes to reminisce how smooth our relationship was.

I was busy reading a book under the shade of the mahogany tree at the school. I was taken aback when someone behind me handed me a bunch of sunflowers. I didn't bother to look back because I knew it was him, the guy who was with me through thick and thin.

"For the most wonderful creature on Earth," his baritone voice whispered to my ears. As the wind blew, I smelled his manly scent. I almost closed my eyes when I felt his rough hands gently touched my nape as he tried to braid my hair.

"What's this for?" I asked as I looked at him. I saw how serious he was in braiding my long silky hair, I took the chance to stare at his beauty.

He has mesmerizing dark eyes that are capable of drowning you using his stares. His perfectly narrow nose, longer-than-usual auburn hair, long lashes, and thick brows. I know that nobody's perfect but I can tell that this guy in front of me is close to perfection. He's like a Greek god who came out of nowhere to fill me so much joy whenever I feel like I was an empty broken glass.

"That flower is a reminder of how beautiful you are," he said as he comes closer to kiss me on my forehead.

"What have I done to deserve someone like you?" I felt his rough hands brushed the tears that fell on my cheeks. He slowly shook his head and stared at my eyes lovingly.

"Hindi mo alam kung paano mo binago ang takbo ng mundo ko. Grace, just like your name, you swiftly and gracefully changed my life upside down. Your mere existence is enough to make my heart race every second."

Umiling ako para ipakita ang hindi pagsang-ayon sa sinabi niya. Hindi ko alam kung bakit at kailan siya nahulog sa akin. Basta isang araw nagulat na lang ako na may isang Kit Dela Vega na laging nakasunod sa akin. Wala akong naalalang may ginawa akong kabutihan o kung anuman para makuha ang loob niya, pakiramdam ko ay regalo talaga siyang ipinadala sa akin ng Diyos.

"Sapat na rason ang mga ngiti mo para mabuhay ako, ang makita kang umiiyak ang tanging kahinaan ko."

"K-Kit..." Pumatak ang isang luha galing sa kanang mata ko, naiiba sa luhang iniiyak ko sa t'wing naaalala ko sina mom and dad. Ito yung luhang sobrang gaan sa pakiramdam, I never thought that crying can be this cathartic.

I don't know what to say, sobra-sobra ang pasasalamat ko kay Kit. Kung wala siya sa tabi ko'y baka matagal ko nang tinapos ang buhay ko. From this day on, I promise to devout not just my heart but also my soul and my life to Kit. I will love him more than anything, I will protect him with all my strength.

"I love you Kit, I really do."

"G-Grace, please come back to me... I can't live without you, hon, please..."

My heartache even more. The more I look at him, the harder it is for me to gasp for air. Tila ba may humahawak sa puso ko, sobrang sakit makitang lumuluha siya nang dahil sa akin. I don't deserve his precious tears, gustong-gusto kong pawiin ang sakit na nararamdan niya.

"I only need you to live, nothing more, just please come back to me," mahinang sambit niya.

No Kit, I can never come back. I am sorry.