The heart of darkness will bestow either holiness or madness.
A voice from the depths of the gloomy loneliness of the soul will bestow an amazing observer philosophy.

Anger
Like venom, intoxicating gradually eating into its victim.
It had grow, like lightning and thunder
Like acid, had done more harm to the vessel in which it was stored, than to the things on which it was poured.
I was angry, I had every right to be
I was not sorry, why should I be
And no one can blame me.

I had done it, I killed the beast
I had become a monster, a girl consumed by hate and anger.

Staring into the mirror, I could see the devil in me.

It took that night to unleash the monster, the beast in me.

*****

Later I was calm, I began to reflect on what I had done.

Oh my god! What had I done?!

How could I have done something so wrong.
Was I really happy with what I had done, with what I had become?
I was now a murder, no better than my stepfather, that molester.
I had gone mad, I had gone crazy
How could I have let things get to me?

Walking slowly to the living room, my heart beat began to race faster.
My eyes scanned the crime scene, remembering how it all happened.
Fear had taken over again, I was trembling in my own two feet.
The fear of what I had done, the fear of what I had become.

Walking slowly to his lifeless body, I felt nauseated seeing every where so bloody, it sent shivers through my whole body. The TV was still on and the loud music still going on, it was freaking noisy.

Kneeling not too close to his body, I stared at it in terror. '' How could I have done this, how could i have murdered him in cold blood? '' I asked my self. ''Had I let the pain and anger eat me up so much? '' I began to wonder. I buried my face in the palm of my hands, crying again and as the seconds ran I cried even more than how I began.

I really wanted to scream, let it all out. My head was pounding, my chest was aching, all this was chocking, I felt like I was suffocating.

I raised my head up, slowly tilting my head backward a little, I let it out, screaming for as long as I wanted.

Moving my hand across my face, taking the hair in its way back, to reveal my swollen red eyes. Scanning through the room, my eyes fell on the blood flowing towards me. I got up quickly to avoid it touching me, then my eyes caught the life less body on the ground and I stared at his mashed head which blood was flowing from slowly. It didn't take long for me to feel nauseated.

I rushed to the bathroom with one hand over my mouth and the other on my stomach. I held my hair back and threw up in the WC and flushed it. After splashing water on my face several times, I still leave the tap running. Staring into the mirror, as I recalled whole scene and I began to wonder, how I did that? , where the strength came from? , what came over me? , why I had smiled at my self at first? ,it wasn't my fault right? , no one would blame me, they'd understand I did it in self defense and anger? , if its not my fault why do i feel scared? why did my life get to this point?

I made my way to my room i was loosing it, I paced back and forth in the room, my heart pounding fast with fear as different things crossed my mind and my breathing became faster . I looked around the room, 'fuck this place' I taught as i recalled the nights I was molested there. " Fuck this place, fuck this house, fuck this family, fuck my life and FUCK YOU TOO DAMIAN!!!" I said out loud ( Damian's my stepfather's name ).

Out of range I tore the room apart, screaming and crying my eyes out. By the time I was calm I weak. I sluggishly walked to the kitchen and the water I hadn't finished was still there. I drank it and took more. When i was done i put the glass down and buried my face in my hands again. I was in that position for about a few seconds I guess. Later gradually raising my head and taking my hair back with my hands at the same time I looked around. " What am i going to do now " I asked my self. I tried looking for the knife i had picked up to defend my self at first but I couldn't find it so I walked over to the Living room and picked up a broken glass trying my best to avoid looking at the body close to it.

I sat on the floor away from the body, at least far enough for me not to clear view of the body. I tried to slit my wrist but i couldn't. I should have been able to do this seeing that i killed my stepfather, but i couldn't. I hugged my knee and placed my forehead on my knee hiding my face as I cried again, unconsciously squeezing the glass and it cut my palm. I didn't mind it i just stared at nothing in particular as my mind went through different things.

" Just run away and leave it all behind " I thought and I decided I'd do just that. I walked over to the couch where his wallet was which was right beside his body. Even though I tried to avoid looking at the body, I still caught sight of it and it made my stomach roll.

I just ran a little water over the cut I accidentally gave myself and quickly wore my black hoodie over what I had on. I went back to the bathroom to properly clean my injury because it was still bleeding. I was done attending to my cut and was splashing water on my face 'cause I felt light headed, when I looked up in the mirror i saw him behind me with a grin on his face, I turned around and he wasn't there I looked at the mirror again and screamed in fear at the image I saw. It was him but with a smashed head and his cloths socked with blood the way he was on the living room floor. I turned around again and sill say nothing and when i looked back at the mirror i saw nothing.

" I'm going crazy, I've definitely gone crazy " I told my self while I looked into the mirror with my hands on my head holding my hair back. There was no way I was going to stay any longer. I shut the tap and made my way out of the house with out looking back.

I was sure it was about past 1:00am, if not minutes to 2. I didn't care there was no way I would go back. My tummy began to grumble, I was far away from our apartment building now and I could see a vending machine not too far from where I was. I was dark but the street lights and the lights coming from the gas station where the vending machine was were what lit the way and it was a little quiet. I noticed a car parked by the gas station, it didn't look like anyone was in it so I didn't pay attention to it. Using the money i had taken from my stepfather's wallet, I tried to get a snack. I was still concentrating on what i was doing when a muscular hand covered my nose and mouth with a piece of cloth. I tried to fight and free my self while s struggling to breath through the oddly smelling cloth my sight began to blur and I gradually grew weak soon after every thing went black.

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