Chapter 2: Gestalt

He was stunned by the only words I had for him. It was clear that it wasn't obvious what he should make of them, but I knew. The directions were unambiguous.

I caught him surveying more than my face after I removed my hands from my coat pockets. My peacoat stopped well above my knees, and my legs were exposed but covered in backseam nylons. Black platform booties adorned my feet, and I took the first step in them.

Our journey began the moment I stepped outside of the apartment. However, third-party eyes wouldn't be able to tell that I wasn't embarking on my adventure alone. Once I moved, I didn't stop. The door to my apartment had to be locked by him. Seconds passed, and the elevator doors were closing with a passenger of one. Though, the quick-footed man swiftly interrupted the rickety panels with his arm.

I didn't see his face, though I could hear him breathing while I texted Faith to let her know I was officially on my way out of the Business District. The doors parted, and I was off. His pace behind me was enough, if not the definition of "follow".

How smart of you, but let's see if you can keep up.

My fingers dug into the thin wrist clutch around my left hand, pulling out a metro card. I waved it beside my head before it returned to the security of my slim purse. The sound of his feet halting let me know he had to think fast. There was the sound of him dashing back to a black car that I had ignored the moments ago.

The only quick solution was Ezra's only probable solution: Kyle having a metro card.

The luxury of fine leather in the backseat of a car wasn't to be his tonight. He wanted to know where I have been and what I've been doing.

You'll see.

My leveled eyes pored over the dirty wall across the tracks, standing along the platform with the rest of the late night travelers. Two times did I ignore the sly remarks of men that were fond of my legs, and when the third gave his attempt, I expected the vicious response that followed as he passed me by.

I looked to my left to see the scraggly middle-aged harasser be on his way to verbally accost someone else. I casually turned to my right to find Ezra. He looked displeased. To say that he appeared infuriated described it better. At first, his scowl was directed at the a gregarious assailant who continued to echo in the underground. Then, Ezra's attention was mine once more, and I blankly held his unpleasant stare before the screeching of the train's brakes against the tracks broke our tension.

Hmm.

Several cars swept by, the doors parted, and I squeezed into a packed train. I didn't keep track of Ezra's whereabouts. I didn't need to when, from my peripheral, a familiar large hand clung to the pole above my grip.

This was the closest we had come to one another in over a month. It was taxing to try to conclude how it made me feel to know he was so close. Luckily, the ten minute ride flew by, and I could escape the back-warming heat that loomed behind me.

If he was displeased by the last man that had choice words for my disregard of his compliments, Ezra had to be in a rage as he shadowed my struts down the brightly lit blocks. Most of the men congregating outside of the shop, beckoned for the attention of all the women that passed them by. As it happened before the train ride, I– along with the other women– were then called out of our names without hesitation.

"Ada," I heard his frustrated voice call from behind.

My lips tightened, and my hands balled inside of my pockets. A stop at a crosswalk made him think that he would have a chance to speak to me. But as the glowing man beamed from the signal, I went about my way– continuing to do my best to imagine that he was a figment of my imagination.

With his silence, I carried my anger alone as I saw the dark brick building that occupied a corner of a block not too far in the distance. The name "Lemonade" was swirled in brightly lit coils that shined off of the bricks of the club. With haste, I approached and smiled at the large line that hugged the wall of the popular nightlife haunt.

"Hi, Davey," I sweetly greeted with a cherubic smile.

At the sound of my voice, Davey turned his head from the annoyed line. Even in a flannel jacket, his large biceps were intimidating. The one who manned the door uncrossed his arms and wiped away the frown underneath the aviators that aided the cold nature of his doorman aesthetic for those who planned to finagle their way in.

"Ada, how you doin' sweetie?" he asked with a toothy grin.

"It's Friday," I beamed with a smile.

Davey lifted his hand to the next patron, but lifted the rope for me. I passed through and mouthed my thanks, before I heard an abrupt question.

"Ada, you know this–" Davey began, but I didn't look back and rushed into the dark entrance.

With haste, I said my hello to another face that I had become acquainted with over the last month and gave her my coat. My skin was burning up underneath all of that fabric despite the weather being below the fifties. As much as I didn't want to think that I actually ran into Ezra on this night, my shaking hands and sweat covered skin had said otherwise.

Now, I was free to move my shoulders to the blaring beat. I sent another message to Faith to let her know that I had made it to the club. Though, the odds that she would receive my text were slim when I saw that she was high up in the booth, spinning the current beat.

"Ada!" I heard a in the tone of a well-known screech.

Through the bright, blinking lights I swayed my head around before I saw the auburn-haired dancer gyrating toward me in her tight crop top and skirt. The second she was near, she slung an arm around me, and I knew she had at least a few drinks in her already.

"Sophie, are you already drunk?" I laughed. "I thought you said you weren't going to get fucked up this weekend."

"I know, but it's just so hard!" she confessed, before looking down at my dress and gawking. "Finally, you're wearing a dress you shouldn't bend over in!"

I smirked with a lifted brow, unable to deny her observation about my bubble gum bodycon.

Sophie brought her lips closer to my ear and confessed, "Listen, I'm glad you're finally ready to move on from that asshole. Guys really ain't shit."

Well... even in this condition, she's not wrong.

"You still believe that when you're dating the bartender?" I smirked, similarly curling my arm around her shoulder.

"It's an exception when he gives you free shit. He may not be a sugar daddy nor great in bed, but I'm smiling ain't I? Now, about those free drinks..." she ended with an evil grin that led to her yanking me over to the bar.

Ten minutes passed, and I was four shots in of a candied drink I didn't know the name of. My vision waved in and out of a haze when I witnessed Faith running to the bar. She was smiling when she swiped the next shot from between my fingers and grabbed the sides of my face with her hands.

"Are you okay, Ada?" Faith questioned, but my vacant smile was answer enough for her.

"No more drinking, unless it's water."

I tilted my head forward and reassured her, "Don't worry. I'm fine."

However, I took the risk and told her, "We have to celebrate at least one more time because I got my shit moved out of that storage."

Faith examined my face closely, when I turned back to Sophie's current squeeze and ordered two more shots. My lips were in a thin line when I dangled the small glass in front of my friend's face, and with caution, she took her drink. Our eyes were locked when I downed my last heavily dyed drink.

I'm lying and you know it.

She didn't throw back anything, peering at my grave expression.

"Ada, what happened?" she demanded.

My lips parted to tell the truth, but of course as timing would have it, her shoulder was tapped by another DJ. He signalled back up to the booth where a flashlight was flashing at her.

Of course.

To Faith's surprise, I took her drink from her and swatted with my hand for her go back to work.

"Ada, don't–" she started, but it was too late. I already downed the liquid celebration and returned to the bar to grab Sophie's hand.

I didn't turn back to see how mad Faith had to be, but my obscured decisions concluded that I could explain to her later. Sophie was the wild child that I needed to be around, and the more I tore up the dance floor with her, the more I realized that I didn't want to talk about what I was feeling.

My wrists rested on my dance partner's shoulders, my eyes were closed, and my head hung low while we jerked around and tried to keep our balance.

"Oh you're so sweet," I suddenly heard Sophie slur, before I lifted my head to see that her guy was fisting to glasses of what was obviously not water.

His girl was a machine, years of partying in her system. And then there was me, just weeks into drinking heavily like I used to. I knew I had already crossed the line with the last drink that was still punching at me like a bop bag.

"I shouldn't," I smiled to him.

"You sure?" He asked putting his hand on my shoulder.

I raised my hand to wave it his request down. That was... until I saw an out of place character surveilling the room.

Still looking for me, huh?

It didn't take long for my shadow to spot me in the drunken sea of bodies. Once he did, I took the bartender's free gift and took a swig.

Why are you surprised, Ada?

The dancing ensued, but I made sure to drag Sophie and her man further into the depths of the sweaty dance floor. I let the couple press their bodies together in peace by closing my eyes and dancing by myself. Though I was solo, it wasn't long before I felt a hand slip around my waist and pull me close.

My eyelids tore apart, and I jumped out of the grasp to see that it was some grinning fool reaching out for my arm. I gave him an inebriated grin and shook my head. Though, my smile promptly faded at the sight of a dream turned nightmare pushing his way through the crowd.

Too close.

Still enjoying the way the bass rattled my chest, I took a few more swigs of my potent drink and swam farther out into the waves of club. It only took me a few more seconds to catch the eye of a satisfactory man near the blasting speakers. I approached, he didn't question my presence, and his hands were already acquaintanced with my hips.

"What's your name?" The carefully preened man wondered against my ear, but I didn't care about his questions.

I turned my eyes to see exactly who I was looking for storming to us. Infuriated, Ezra tugged me away by the hand.

"Don't touch me," I slurred.

"You need to go home," Ezra hissed.

I reassured him, "I'm just having fun."

"Who the fuck are you?" My frisky new friend asked.

In a heat, Ezra cranked his head to his objector and glared. The opponent took a step forward, forcing Ezra to square his shoulders with him.

"Leave her alone," Ezra growled.

"Fuck this, I didn't come here for this bullshit," the guy spat before storming off.

Well, that was quick.

I was in the middle of raising my cup to my mouth, but it was snatched from me.

Whatever.

I could see the dark tint of red on his face, when he shouted, "Ada, you need to leave now!"

"Why don't you just relax and have a beer?" I taunted with a fading smile.

With disgust, he looked at the amount left in my cup before he returned his observation to my inebriation. I slapped away his hand that dared to reach for my mine.

"Go away," I commanded.

"No," he spat back.

My eyes rolled, and I took concentrated steps back through the crowd– using the bodies around as crutches on my path back to the other side of the club. I felt the cool air hit me the moment I left the swarm of drunken dancers, but, in my state, I didn't know what to do except stand still and stare at the floor. He clutched my upper arm, and unnecessarily assisted me to coat check. I took my coat, but instead of putting it on, I aimed for the door.

Of course.

He stopped me in my tracks and guided me over to the nearest wall. Refusing to look at him, I slumped against the concrete wall and crossed my arms.

"Put it on," he growled.

I rebuffed, "Go away."

"No," he hissed again.

"Still only the giver of directions, never the follower, huh?" I garbled.

I clutched my coat close to me and wobbled to the exit anyways. The weather had dropped significantly, and it felt necessary, against my sweat-stained skin, for only a few seconds. My inhibited state kept my stubbornness in full swing, but before I could shiver, he cloaked me in the jacket he had slung around my shoulder on a night I used to love to remember.

There was no removing it from my body when Ezra's arm locked around my shoulders. As much as I wanted to resist, his actions of leading me down the street were much quicker than my reactions. The cold winds were daring to bring me back to sobriety, but I was too drunk to catch up.

As any highly-rated club would have it, there was a nearby greasy-food joint a block away. The delicious waft of cheese fries hit me in the face, once Ezra yanked open the glass door. He assisted me to a booth, and committed my first action of shaking his jacket from my shoulders to sling it at him.

"Why did you drag me here? I don't think they serve salads at midnight," I jabbed.

He ignored my teasing, continuing to carefully fold what I threw at him, before placing it beside him on his seat.

"Welcome to Candy Boys. My name is Floyd. What can I get for you two tonight?" The young man asked with an exhausted, but charitable smile.

Our waiter was preemptively armed with two cold glasses of water he placed down for us. I rested my elbows on the speckled table top and turned my glassy eyes up to the anticipating face, "Do you serve any beers?"

I didn't wait to hear the answer, immediately turning my attention and grin to the man across from me.

Aww, angry?

"Please, bring her some fries," Ezra kindly requested through his teeth.

Floyd's expression said he had seen it all before, and he left us with two straws before disappearing. I unraveled the white wrapper and dipped the clear straw in the water.

However, I didn't drink the water. Instead, I used the straw to suction it with my finger and drop it over the wrinkled wrapper on the table.

"Drink the water, Ada," Ezra insisted with irritation.

Ignoring him, I continued to dip my straw in the sweaty glass to destroy the wet paper even more. My fries were on the table within the minute, and I returned a large smile to our nice late night waiter.

The thick-cut fries were much too hot to bite into, upon arrival, but I still nibbled on the tough end of one.

Ezra pushed for an answer, "Why did you do any of this, Ada?"

I pulled my teeth from the fried goody and asked, "What do you think would have happened if you weren't there?"

Ezra didn't answer, and I chuckled, "Aww, that red face."

I successfully chomped down the fat fry and laughed, "I swear I would have been fine. I just would have gone home with someone like I did last week. And it's been a long time since I've seen you, but I know who you've been fucking."

"Be quiet, Ada," Ezra huffed.

"Ooo, hot." I returned, coyly lifting my bare shoulder. "Does she like when you command her around like that? Dom, Ezra! Dom, dom, dom, dom!"

His eyes were suddenly weary and set on the food when he insisted, "Eat."

I yanked out my phone and struggled to slide up the shortcut menu to grab the camera. Five upward swipes later with a tap on the selfie cam, I was finally able to check my smeared makeup.

"God, I bet she never looks like this in public," I snickered, while grabbing a napkin and dipping it in my water to wipe my face. "Where is your fiancée, by the way?"

He still wouldn't look me in the eye, and he refused to open his mouth to answer.

"Maybe I want to know about her now," I loudly sighed.

He rebuffed, "You're drunk."

I'm much more sober than you think. Too sober.

Suddenly, I called, "Ezra."

Though I doubted much of who was in front of me, I knew that his name falling from my lips would draw him to me.

After taking a deep breath, I smiled at him, and confessed, "I want to go home."

*

He took me home. He traveled underground with me once more and retraced the trail back to the home he and I knew.

It felt strange to walk through the door with him again. So much happened in the small studio space I had impulsively contracted myself into just to escape all the drama in my life before him.

I watched Ezra close the door behind, and as he turned back to me, he suggested, "You should go to bed."

I didn't say a word, I simply stared at him. My onlooking was soft this time around, and it drew him to me. The warmth in his face was indicative of how safe he felt with my invisible walls knocked down. And It was so quiet, I could hear him breathing. Looking up to Ezra, I curled my mouth into a smile when the tips of his fingers traced the outside of my hand.

Hmm.

"Please tell me what you're thinking, Ada," he murmured, staring at my lips.

I waited for his green eyes to attract to my glazed over stare and confessed, "I'm thinking I still have a bottle of cheap wine stashed somewhere in the cabinets."

His appearance instantly hardened, "Ada, you are doing this to hurt me. I know it."

"No, I'd never want to hurt you Ezra" I quickly returned, touching his cheek.

He was instantly swayed by a touch he missed, looking for sincerity and hope in my lazy eyes.

Tracing my fingers along his chin, I quizzed, "Remember what I said the last time I saw you, Ezra? Remember how I said I felt about you?"

He did. His parted lips and his hopeful eyes said so for him. I took his hand and led him to the bed we hadn't seen in so long.

"Ada," he gasped, after I tossed my coat on the bed and nudged off my heels.

"Ezra," I quietly called back.

His breaths deepened. He examined my frame hugged in bubblegum pink and struggled to insist, "You should really go to bed."

"Alone?" I asked with sincerity.

Ezra's eyes fluttered, and I traced my fingers along his shoulders. Without resistance, I pulled his jacket from his body and tossed it on the bed with mine. Not another second went by before Ezra's hands captured my hips and rushed around the soft fabric clinging to my ribcage.

We fell back on the bed, and the exploration of his hands never ceased. My eyes shut tight, I bit my lip, but I soon opened my eyes again. Bringing his face close, I turned my head and allowed him to taste my neck. My eyes flickered from the instant memories of his touch. I felt weak, but I quickly caught myself and used my trembling fingers to unbuckle his pants.

I bit back a stifled cry, but I couldn't control the croak in my throat once I felt Ezra's aching hardness sink into me. His soft sucking against my neck transformed into kisses that trailed up to my jaw. His fingers stroked my cheek when he lifted his head to admire at my lustful expression. He held himself inside of me, and he gazed at my lips his thumb ran across.

His soft wet mouth was edging closer to where my breath lingered, but I swiftly averted my head to the side and pushed myself on top. Wildly, I rocked back and forth over his hard frame. I felt how quickly Ezra tensed underneath me, his gasp and groans provoking me more.

His warm hand cupped the back of my neck, to pull my face near. Yet, I resisted his desire again.

There was immediate confusion along his face, and Ezra abruptly returned my back into the soft mattress. With my head still askew, gently tried to urge me to face him again.

"Ada," he panted.

"No kissing," I exhaled through ragged breaths– my eyes staring blankly into the distance.

Ezra immediately pushed away from me and refastened his pants. "Wha... how could you tell me..."

I still hadn't caught my breath when I sat up to look at him.

I glared at the way his chest moved from the erratic breathing, as he confessed,"You've done the worst to me all night. I know you can barely stand the sight of me but you weren't drinking to forget I existed. You did it because you knew I existed... and that I would see every drink on your face so you could fight every action, and force me to shun every question."

Unmoved, my attention rolled up to look him in the eyes.

He continued to puff with anger, though his face was pained, "And then you show me even less mercy, somehow giving me everything but yourself on that bed."

Finally, I had to turn away from his woeful gaze when I heard the familiar cracks in his voice, "To tell me I can't kiss you? Anything but that. You know I would do anything for you. But anything but that."

Incensed by his lack of memory, I reminded him, "You asked... for my open wounds to be yours."

He shook his head. "Not when you create them yourself to tear me apart even more. Not when I am the knife that you use to cut them open again. Even after I feel like I have nothing left, I still feel you in my chest... because I love you, Ada Young."

Wha... What?

My teeth gritted together. I trembled where I sat, refusing to look him in the eyes anymore. However, I broke the promise I just made to myself, gawking at Ezra when he feebly pulled his coat from the bed.

He looked down to me, his colorful eyes reddened from hurt as he slipped both of his arms through his sleeves. "I said, I love you, Ada Young. But I can't watch you hurt yourself to punish me. I refuse."

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Number of hidden songs: 1