SARAB ZAMAN HUMOR
STAR WARS EDITION

Sarab: Erik, you need to relax. Let go of the tension. Find your inner peace. Oh! May I suggest the teachings of the Jedi?

Erik: May I suggest the footing of your ass?

Sarab: [puts her finger to her temple and then extends it towards Erik, imitating a Jedi mind trick] This is not the ass you're looking for.

Erik: [stays silent]

Sarab: See? Now you don't know what to do.

[Sarab, Maddie, Marlena, Thalia, Jean, Ororo, and Jubilee are walking out of the movie theater after seeing Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back for the first time]

Jubilee: Darth Vader is totally bluffing! He's not Luke's real father!

Sarab: I wouldn't be too sure about that. There's obviously some connection between them. I mean, he was communicating with Luke through the Force!

Jubilee: He can probably do that with everyone.

Jean: Either way, I think that there's one thing we can all agree on.

Ororo: And what is that?

Jean: Han Solo is the cutest guy character in Star Wars and Harrison Ford is the hottest man alive.

Sarab: [gasps dramatically]

Thalia: [chuckles] Oh boy.

Maddie: [sighs tiredly] Here we go again.

Sarab [to Jean]: He is NOT! Luke Skywalker is so much cuter and Mark Hamil is the hottest man in the universe! Hotter than a hot tamale on a hot summer's day!

Jean: [plays along] Nuh uh!

Sarab: Yuh huh!

Jean: Nuh uh!

Sarab: Yuh huh!

Marlena: [jokes] Jabba the Hutt is obviously the cutest.

[Everyone falls silent]

Marlena: [smiles] There. I settled it.

[Maddie, Marlena, Thalia, Jean, Ororo, Jubilee, Hamza, Kurt, Scott, Charlie, Adrian, and Logan are all waiting for Sarab to finish getting ready so that Logan can take the teenagers to see Star Wars: Return of the Jedi. Everyone except Sarab is ready after about half an hour]

Marlena: I can't wait for this movie!

Logan: Well, you guys are gonna miss it if Queenie [Sarab] doesn't finish prepping up soon.

Kurt: Logan, do not be rude. It takes time for ladies to dress zemselves properly for a zertain event. Have patience.

Logan: [grumbles]

[Fifteen minutes later, Sarab comes walking out of her room into the living room where everyone is waiting. She is dressed in Princess Leia's iconic Alderaan gown, her hair styled perfectly in Princess Leia's cinnamon bun hairstyle. A huge grin is plastered on her face]

[Everyone is stunned. The girls are all smiling and grinning and admiring Sarab's costume. Kurt, Charlie, Adrian, and Scott are admiring her beauty. Hamza is quite unamused that everyone is staring at his sister Sarab. He glares at them. Logan leans forward in his chair and furrows his brows]

Sarab: [still grinning] Help me, Obi-Wan Kanobi. You're my only hope.

[Lengthy silence as everyone stares at Sarab]

Logan: [leans back as his eyes widen and he scrunches his nose in shock and annoyance] Holy Hell.

Kurt: [wrapped in wrapping paper] Okay, Sarab! Unwrap me!

Sarab: [chuckles] Uh....are you sure?

Kurt: Da! But be gentle please!

Sarab: [grins] Okay then.

[Sarab unwraps the wrapping paper to reveal a grinning Kurt dressed in Luke Skywalker's iconic A New Hope attire]

Sarab: [jaw drops]

Kurt: Ta da! [whips out a fake green lightsaber] I'm Luke Skywalker! I'm here to rescue you! Happy birthday, Schatzi!

Sarab: Oh. My. God.

Kurt: [frowns] Vhat? Vhat is it? Did I get ze costume wrong? Is my lightsaber ze wrong color?

Sarab: No. [grins] It's perfect. Everything that I've ever dreamed of.

Kurt: [smiles as his eyes light up] Really?

Sarab: YES! [wraps her arms around him] You are the BEST boyfriend EVER!

Kurt: Hooray!

Sarab: Hooray!

[Sarab, Maddie, Marlena, Thalia, Jean, Ororo, Jubilee, Hamza, Kurt, Scott, Charlie, and Adrian are re-watching Star Wars: Return of the Jedi together in Sarab and Maddie's dorm room]

Jean: I love Leia. Leia is awesome. She's brave, she's clever, she's kind, she's strong, she's a great leader. [turns to Sarab] Hey, she kinda reminds me of you, Sarab!

Kurt [to Sarab]: Da! She is also beautiful like you as well!

Sarab [to Jean and Kurt]: Aww, thanks, you guys! I'm so flattered! That's really sweet!

Scott [to Sarab]: Yeah. [chuckles jokingly] Leia is also stubborn like you, too.

Jean: [hits Scott gently in a scolding manner]

Sarab: [sarcastically to Scott] Ha ha. [to everyone else] Well, anyway, I'm flattered.

Jean: One of your nicknames is definitely gonna be Princess Leia now.

[Everyone except Sarab nods and murmurs in agreement]

Sarab: Yay!

[Sarab and Kurt are flipping through an orientation packet for Charles Xavier's School for the Gifted]

Sarab: [stops flipping and gasps] Oh my God, Kurt.

Kurt: [becomes more attentive] Vhat? Vhat is it?

Sarab: [gets excited] Mrs. Jade has a course called 'The Social Significance of Jedi Culture'!

Kurt: [chuckles fondly and twirls Sarab's hair with his tail]

Sarab: [continues reading the packet excitedly]

Scott: Hey, Sarab! My jacket is all the way on the other side of the room and I'm too tired to go get it. [sarcastically] You wanna use the force to bring it over to me? [snickers]

Sarab: [glares at him] Ha ha, very funny. [sighs] All right. I'll play along. [closes her eyes and holds her hand out]

Jean: [creeps up behind her and whispers] Use the force, Sarab.

Sarab: [crinkles her nose in annoyance]

Jean: [uses her telekinesis powers to make the jacket start floating towards Scott]

Sarab: [peeks and sees the jacket floating] Oh my God!

[Jean and Scott grin]

Sarab: [gets excited] I'm doing it! I'm using the force! Ha ha!

Kurt: [walks in] Hello, everyone! [looks confused] Vhy is Jean making Scott's jacket float towards Sarab?

[Sarab gasps and whirls around to see Scott and Jean. Jean and Scott groan and Jean stops using her powers]

Sarab: [crosses her arms] You guys are just jealous because you don't know the ways of the Force like I do. [smirks smugly and walks past them, snickering] Ha! Nerf herders.