Chapter 8~Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained
I gawked at him for a few moments, my brain too slow to process. I wasn't sure if what I heard just now was really what he said just now.
"Wait what?" I asked incredulously, my mouth gaped apart.
"Are you telling me that you pulled out all those stunts just to get my attention and make me think about you?" I squeaked with a tint of astoundment in my voice.
"Uh-huh." He replied.
"That is the most stupid and ridiculous thing I've ever heard," I remarked.
"Mm-hmm." He responded.
Who's the taciturn now?
"Shawn!" I warned.
"Geez girl! Relax." He said, pushing himself by his hands to sit back.
"Care to explain why'd you do that?" I demanded, composing myself.
"Okay." Facing me, he continued, "let's take this scenario. If... I hadn't done all of those silly pranks and been mean to you a few times and would have just been a normal guy who you tutor or just would have been the guy from the football team, would you have ever noticed me or talked to me? If it wasn't for the tutoring you give me for the sake of impressing Mr. Johnson, would you as much as spare a glance towards my direction?" He asked quietly.
Ouch! The last line hurt.
But... He did make a point. If it wasn't for the sake of Mr. Johnson, I wouldn't have been giving any of my time to Shawn. Heck, I wouldn't even have noticed him for all that it mattered.
"Umm... No." I answered honestly. "But that still doesn't explain the reason behind it."
"Let me cut to the chase. I just want one thing from you." He answered.
I gulped hard. Suddenly I began to sweat. I wasn't sure what but it was just the way he said it that made my body tense up.
"I just want to be friends with you." He confessed, looking up.
Phew. That wasn't exactly what I thought but... Okay!
Thank God it wasn't what I was thinking I- Urgh! Stop talking!
"Friends?" I asked, bewildered.
"Yes. I only want to be friends with you," He admitted.
"If that's the way you ask someone to be your friend... Real classic." I commented sarcastically.
I didn't know what to make out of it and how to react.
Should I be pissed? Frustrated? I didn't know.
"I didn't know how to ask you that." He admitted softly, looking down.
I raised my eyebrow at him. "How about... Hey Maya! Can we be friends? It's as simple as that." I suggested.
"It's not that simple for me. I'm not so expressive with people when it comes to things like this. Usually, that just happens with other people but you are a tough nut to crack Maya."
I let out a small laugh at his remark.
"But why me?" I asked earnestly, my insecurities began crawling up. I didn't have the best record when it came to making friends. It was not that I never had one. I had a few. But not anymore.
"Why me?" I questioned again, and after a considerable long pause, I added, "Any girl would kill to be friends with you. Heck, they are obsessed with you!" I apprised.
"And that's exactly why. Even though I love all the attention, I don't want to be friends with people who only care about my good looks or popularity. The world is already full of too many fake people. I don't wish to add more of them to my life. And that's exactly why. You don't care about popularity in school. You are so engrossed in your own cute little world. And trust me, I've tried so many times to charm you with my looks but you were a tough row to hoe.”
I couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle. I took a glimpse and studied his face for any sign of witticism. But there were none.
"So..." He said, waiting for an answer.
"So... what?" I asked back, acting naively.
"Friends?" He asked.
I took an anxiously long time to answer to make him antsy. His face started to frown at the pause.
"Friends," I replied.
His face lightened up followed by a bright smile and my action mirrored his.
~
We reached my house at 11:56 p.m. Exactly before midnight, just as he promised.
We stopped at the porch before bidding our goodnights.
"I had fun tonight," I confessed.
"Me too." He replied with a small smile.
"Won't you come in?" I asked.
"No. It's already late. I should head back home."
"Oh, okay. Goodnight Shawn."
"Good night, Maya." He said, turning back and started walking but stopped midway.
"And Maya.." He spoke, turning his head to face me, "I am assuming we won't be continuing with our silly bickering?" He asked, twitching his lips.
"Only if you stop annoying me." I propounded.
"That's what friends actually do so... yeah, not happening." He argued.
"Yeah right."
"Goodnight Maya." He said and walked off.
"Goodnight," I said and turned back to unlock the door.
"You're back princess." I heard my dad's voice as soon as I entered the house.
"Dad?" I called when I saw him sitting on the couch, "You're still awake? Why aren't you in your bed by now?" I asked.
"I was waiting for you. You know I couldn't sleep until I knew you were home safe." He answered.
"Dad. You didn't have to. See I'm fine." I said walking up to him and sitting next to him.
"You are not a parent so you won't understand it just yet." He explained, smiling.
I rolled my eyes. I laid down my head on his lap. I loved doing it. I always loved doing it more with my dad than with my mom.
"So how was your dance sweetie? Did you have fun?" He asked, untangling my hair.
"Honestly, it was nice. It was great. I actually had fun. It felt quite nice."
"I am so glad to hear that sweetie," He said while caressing my hair.
I just kept quiet for a moment. Countless thoughts spiraled through my head that I wasn't able to hold onto one and reckon about it.
"Dad...?”
"Yes, princess?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"Of course you can. Anything you want."
"How do you convince yourself to go for something without it scaring you to death about its consequences and the constant nagging of the what-ifs scenario in your head?" The words slipped through my mouth without any deliberation.
His expressions remained unchanged. It felt as if he had been expecting it all along.
"Princess..." He started, adjusting his posture, "The biggest risk is not taking any risk at all. Your mind will just trick you to play safe and hold you back in life. Sometimes, you need to take risks, challenge yourself, and try harder at things, if you want to grow stronger and become better. Don't be afraid, my baby girl. Don't be afraid of failure and success. They are all just a part of it. And even if you fail, see that as an opportunity to do better and embrace every obstacle as the way forward. The biggest hurdle in your way will be making a step. Making that important decision to take a step is hard. It's the biggest hurdle to achieving anything worthwhile in life. Ask yourself if the reward is worth the risk. The risk may very well be worth taking. Life is too short to be afraid sweetie. Sometimes you need to take a leap of faith in yourself and go for it. It'll just help you grow and discover who you truly are. Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary."
I pushed back the tears that started to build up in the corner of my eyes. This always happened when someone confronted me about my insecurities or the things I was scared about.
"Wow! That was... inspiring." I was barely able to choose a more precise word. "You're quite the motivator, you know."
"Well, I have to be one when it comes to guide and show the right path to my daughter."He bragged, a playful smile etching across his face.
"But I meant everything I said, princess. Don't be afraid. You have to take a risk to get something good out of it." He reminded me.
"Thank you, Dad. I feel a lot better now. I love you."
"Love you too princess, I'm always here when you need to talk. Always remember that."
"I know." I smiled and hugged him tightly.
~
I freshened up and donned into my pajamas and landed on my precious bed.
I threw the pillow over my head, drawing the light blanket up against my chin.
I couldn't stop thinking about the conversation with Shawn earlier. I knew it sounded silly to think over something so harmless but I couldn't help but revisit the memory lane of my past experience with 'friends'. I had not always been this quiet lone girl. I made two friends in my junior year. I didn't really like to think about them, but long story short, I had got a fault inside me, and that was I trusted people easily, and maybe a little too deeply. Only to be left with a broken trust in the end.
It is not easy for a person who has trust issues, to trust someone with their stuff and secrets. It takes a lot of guts and courage to do that. And when that very someone breaks it, it is devastating. You start blaming yourself for letting your guards down and throwing yourself at a situation as such.
And that was exactly what I did. I shut myself off from people. Nevertheless, it was better that way. No people equaled no disappointments and expectations.
But now what am I gonna do?
I already agreed to Shawn but no matter how much I tried to dodge it off, the imperilment always crawled out.
But this time, I was not going to hold myself back because of it. I was gonna listen to my dad's wise words. Maybe I should just take a leap of faith and go for it without over-analyzing.
I remembered Professor Adam's words in that very instinct. "You would lose all your possibilities to do better in life if you keep holding onto your fears. You have to face it someday and overcome it. This is not an easy process. But you have to start somewhere." Those were his exact words. It made so much sense now.
"Okay!" I mumbled to myself, picking up my phone from the nightstand. I swiped up through the contacts from my messenger and tapped on his profile.
'Hey! It's Maya. I just texted to know if you reached home safely and if you did then I wish you goodnight-'
I erased the text by backspacing.
Come up with something casual Maya!
'Hey, I know you know I'm May-'
I deleted the text again.
Argh!
Why is it so difficult for you to send a simple text!
Improvise, Maya!
'Hey, sorry for texting this late but I was wondering if you reached home safely? *smiley emoji*'
I pressed the send button.
I tossed over my bed anxiously and rested my forehead in my palms as I anticipated his reply. It had already been ten minutes.
Did he think that I was some sort of a freak? Did I sound clingy? Was the message too much?
Ugh! This was a bad idea.
I sank my face into the pillow, trying to drift off to sleep. When I was almost on the verge of it, my phone buzzed with a text.
I checked the time before checking on the text specifics. 2:16 a.m.
Who texts in such a somnolent hour?
I unlocked my screen to look at the text.
It was Shawn's. I immediately tapped on the chat to open it.
'Hey! Sorry I was taking a shower.'
'And yes, I reached home safely.'
'Thanks for asking.'
'I see you have already started to worry about me. *devil smiling emoji*"
Pretty boy didn't seem to get over cockiness even during the most drowsy and vulnerable hours.
Before I could think of what to reply, I tossed my phone aside and landed back straight to my pillow, and drifted off to sleep.
'I am not going to exploit my time of sleep for some random texting at 2 a.m.' I thought in my sleep, smiling as I tugged my penguin soft toy, Mr. Snuggles closer to my embrace and dozed off.
Hey guys! I hope you liked this chapter.
I know it wasn't too exciting but I thought we have reached far enough to start getting to know the characters a little more understandably.
Not gonna lie, I firstly wrote the scene with Maya and her mom. But then I thought it's unfair to her dad since I already made a chapter with them and left him out. And since Maya is a lot closer to her dad, why not make a scene with them too? Do you think it was the right choice to pick his dad for the guidance talk with Maya? Comment down your views. (^~^)
If you liked this chapter, don't forget to tap on my star icon right at the bottom. I'll see you guys real soon.
Stay tuned♡.
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