It took us three days to perfectly execute the slightest details. I decided to go for something simpler so it wouldn't be ‘too much’. 

I decided to go with a similar setting just like the perfect date we had. I chose the perfect point where the city looked magical, like the glistening stars spread across the velvety dark.

It wasn't possible to arrange a goddamn bus within such a short span of time, so I chose my last best option. I asked Niall if I could borrow his pickup truck for a night. He questioned why I needed it, I lied telling him that the guys wanted to go for some sightseeing. Pathetic excuse, I know.  He didn't press me further though and agreed to it.

I decorated the truck with a comfy mattress and fluffy cushions, along with pizza, pringles, and two buckets of ice creams. His favorites.

I asked the girls to bring Shawn to the spot, or else I would have downright spoiled everything. I was not the best to plan surprises and keep them a secret. I would have just started laughing and then ruined everything.

My hands were clammy. My heart hammered against my chest. My ears got warmer with each passing second and my cheeks began to burn. I could feel the tiny cold-warm moisture running down my forehead. I was nervous. No, that would be an understatement. I was almost on the verge of losing my calm and sanity. Maybe I should abort. Should I just run away? Will they buy my ‘chased by a bear’ excuse? Probably not. Ugh.

I wondered if Shawn felt the same way I was at that moment. How did one even bear the anxiety? It took every bit of self-confidence and almost everything inside me to make myself stand where I was standing right now. It must have took him all the courage he had to tell me about his feelings, only to get rejected by me.

Damn! I began to curse myself for being the most idiotic person in the world. That must have been so humiliating. And so self-doubting. I couldn’t believe I put him through all of that. And now, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I might face the same fate as he did. What if he refuses me? What if he doesn’t feel the same way about me anymore? What if-

My train of relentless thoughts was thrown into a halt when a car honked beside me. I turned around. It was the girls and Shawn. I noticed a black piece of cloth wrapped around his eyes. I turned towards Maddie and she pointed to Lexi, who simply shrugged, signaling that she did what she had to. Classic Lexi.

The girl both grabbed Shawn's arms each and pulled him out of his seat. They walked him over towards me, while he cautiously measured his steps. He had become more alert ever since Lexi and Maddie blindfolded him once and led him into a ditch. It wasn’t a pretty sight, but it sure was hilarious.

They opened his blinds and he rapidly blinked a few times, adjusting the sight of the surroundings. The girls shot a wink at me while unclutching their hands from his.

“Enjoy your night, Pretty Boy.” Lexi waved her hand in the air while they walked away.

“It’s Shawn for you.” He yelled at them, as they were soon disappearing into the distance.

“Sure, Shawnie poo.” They yelled back as they got into their seats. Before he could respond, the sound of the roaring engine surrounded the air and soon they were out of sight.

Shawn huffed, while he smirked a little and turned towards me.

“Hey.” He smiled as he pulled me into a hug.

“Hey.” I hugged him back. He quickly pulled out, the smile still lingering onto his lips. Shawn now looked around for the first time and his eyes widened.

“Is that…?” He began to say something but trailed off.

“Not really. It’s not the bus, but still...:”

“Bummer.” He smirked, his eyes still glued at the scene.

I decided to remain quiet. I just kept gazing at him. It was rare for me to simply just gaze at him. No talking. God, he really is beautiful!

“Why did you do all this though? You said you wanted to hang out. Don’t you think it’s a little overboard?” He curiously searched my eyes for answers.

I wasn't sure if he was actually being so clueless or simply teasing me to get me to speak what he wanted to hear. Either way, it wasn’t helping me and only added to my nervousness.

“I just wanted to… recreate special memories I guess.” 

He stared at me for a while, his eyes wide opened. I was sure he didn’t expect to hear that.

“Why this? Why specifically this? He took a step towards me.

“Because I wanted to recreate this specific moment, I guess.” I took a step forward as well.

He surely didn’t expect me to step forward hence he shifted aside but stumbled. He quickly got a hold of himself. He let in a deep breath, too deep, and shut his eyes tight.

“I have something to tell you.” I walked towards the truck.

“Maya-”

“I wrote something in my diary, you know. Sophia gave it to me a few months ago to transfer my feelings into words. It was ironic how I could write pages for my assignments and homework but not a single sentence about my feelings. But yesterday, I stared at the page, and words just flew out until I poured all of my rambling thoughts into coherent sentences.”

He just gazed at me, his eyes gleaming from the lights.

“Would you want to hear it?” I pulled the perfectly folded paper out from the cushion I hid it under.

I began and he nodded at the same time.

“Dear Diary.” Typical, I know.

“I grew up watching endless rom-com movies. Mostly romantic, but yeah, rom-com movies. I admired that. It filled my non-existent love life, fictionalized by my mind, with butterflies and endless somersaults inside my chest. I admired the love they shared. How they made each other's life a little better each day and regardless of the hardships and hurdles that fell into their paths, they always somehow found their way back to each other. They always do. Because they are meant to be.

I always wondered what that would have felt like. Is it really that great of a feeling like they make them out to be? Something which holds the power to let you through all the dark and tough times just with a smile and a bear hug, whispering 'it's gonna be okay ' and just that person alongside you. Something that leaves you with numbness and intense, unimaginable pain and emptiness by just watching that person walking out of your life or see the world a little brighter and are thankful to the person for simply existing.

But over the years I realized, as much as it sounded amazing, it wasn't real. That doesn't exist in real life. I wouldn't lie, that hurt a little for a while but life isn't all rainbows and sunshine, right?

But now, I think I might have to reconsider my decision. Everyone, once in their lives, has been asked this question, “What is love?” Believe me, I have heard innumerable answers to that very question in all different forms of feeling, some of them a little vague, while few of them perfectly knitted into words. I wouldn't bore you with all the cheesy definitions. But I did reconsider my own definition of it. 

I never felt romanticized love, or love so passionate that it consumes you entirely, sweeping you off the ground. Nope, I never felt anything remotely close to that. But let me tell you something, I did feel something even better than that. 

You know how much I love pizza or any food in general. I would kill anybody who even tries to steal it. Not only I actually shared it with him, you know who, or more like he took it from me without permission, I find myself thinking about him and how much he would love the food and actually leave out equal pieces or wrap half or a quarter of the food that I had, for him. Why do I do that?

I call him over to my place at midnight, shutting off the lights and building a little pillow fort around my bed with cushions and blankets by our side to binge-watch horror movies. I know he hates it. He was never a fan of horror movies, yet he would still come over anyway. I would eagerly wait for any horror scenes or more specifically, the screaming scenes, where he would shut his eyes so tightly or shout back in return and scoop in a little closer to me, grabbing my hand with all his might and his head pressed against my shoulder until the scene is completely over. Why do I secretly love that so much?

Why after a fight with anyone, out of all the little number of friends I have, I always find myself calling him, even at 3 a.m. to rant about how frustrating people are and how shitty the world is and he would still listen to me, even in his half-sleep state. Also, when things get a little bit more extreme and I am on the verge of a breakdown, he would walk into my room with two buckets of ice cream, my favorite ones, if I may add, and listen to me attentively, not letting me cry but when I do, he would let me bury my head into his chest, pulling me in and he would hold me with just the perfect strength to put back the broken pieces together. The faint sound of his heart beating calms me instantly. Why do I find it so comforting?

For me, love is peaceful. It is that peace and comfort that you seek to find after a long, tiring day of the unstoppable hustle of the work, and you wish to hold it forever. Peace is everything I want in my life. He is everything I want in my life.

Why him? I sometimes question myself. Well now, I may finally have a few answers to that. For starters, he is a jackass. And yes I'm not sorry for stating the fact. He can be a huge pain in the ass sometimes. He is obnoxious, sarcastic, and sure as hell cocky. But he is everything that I am not. Optimistic, considerate, loving, supportive, I can go on. But he does something that I never did. Accepting me for exactly who I am with open arms, where I couldn't even look at myself without disappointment rushing all over my existence. He accepted me for something that I never did for myself. How can someone be this open-minded and compassionate?

I don't acknowledge it enough, but I couldn't help but thank my lucky stars for sending a shooting star disguised in the form of a man. He is indeed my shooting star. A wish that I prayed long before, brightening the darkness that existed for longer than I acknowledged.

So, I finally decided on something. I would ask him something.

I would meet him and ask him, ‘Why do you do that? Why do you make me feel like I am the most important person in the world? I am not used to it, at all.’ But I won't deny, I love it more than anything.

After a few chit-chats and heartfelt waves of laughter, I would gather every ounce of courage that I have and finally ask him. I would ask him if he would be my permanent horror movie partner? I would ask him if he would be my constant shoulder to lean on, no matter the situation. I would ask him if he would be my favorite pillow, the one that I hold on tightly after a long day of pretense and war where I finally give in and cry my heart out, soaking in my tears and providing the comfort of its warmth. I would ask him if he would be crazy enough to take a total psycho like me?

Regardless of his answer, I would finally admit it to him.”

I threw the page aside, not that I was actually reading through it. I had it framed inside my mind, I just kept going, looking into his eyes.

I slowly fell on both of my knees. Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined myself doing it. But he was worth it.

“I love you, Shawn. I really, really love you. So damn much. I wish I wasn't such an idiot for not realizing it sooner and saying it back to you that night. It took me eighteen months of being away from you to finally dawn the obvious in me. I really am an idiot. But despite all that, would you... Would you make me the luckiest and happiest girl alive on the planet by going out with me?”

He just gazed at me with awe. I couldn't make out much of his expression from the darkness, but it was surely not sadness or anger or anything rather negative. It was a good sign, right?

I saw the cutest smile making its way across his face and he didn't try to hide it as well. We didn't move from our position for a long time.

“Umm Shawn, I know this all too much of a confession dumped on you right now but my knees are starting to feel sore and the grass isn't really very comfortable.” No wonder guys wear full-length pants during their proposal. The knee-length dress was a bad idea.

“It would be nice if you could say something now. And it would be nicer if you don't repeat the stupidity I did by walking out like a mad person.” I bit my lips hard on the memory.

He chuckled and leaned down as well, staring directly into me.

“You’re an idiot, you know that?”

“I might have mentioned it once or twice.” I couldn’t stop the sarcastic smirk carving across my face.

“You are an idiot because you didn’t have to do all this just to tell me this. If you would have said the same thing over a text too, I would still be over the moon.” He smoothed a loose lock of my hair behind my ear.

“But this was better.” My words came out more as a question, my voice desperately longing.

“A thousand times better.” He smiled, he stepped towards me walking through his knees.

He still didn’t say a word about my confession and that started to scare me a little. As if reading my thoughts, he finally spoke,

“Your proposal was better than mine.” He feigned annoyance and pouted his face. He is so adorable sometimes.

“You are crazy.” I shook my head incredulously.

“You are amazing. There could never be anyone else like you.”

After a brief silence that hugged us, he softly spoke, resting his forehead on mine.

“I love you, Maya Matthews. So damn much. Now you are stuck with me forever.” A sweet smile crept upon his face, my action mirroring his.

Nothing else mattered to me anymore at that moment. It was just him, me, and the little bubble of happiness we created around ourselves. I was over the moon, and I couldn’t have asked for more. 

Hey guys! Finally, the moment that you all have waited for so much. I loved writing this chapter so much!

Anyways, how are you all?

Question of the day: Which is your top 3 fandom?
Mine would be The Vampire Diaries (if that isn't obvious XD)
One Direction
I'm not entirely sure about the 3rd one, tbh.

I hope you liked this chapter.

Feel free to vote and comment.

I'll see you guys soon.
Stay tuned♡.

~Loveya~( ˘ ³˘)