We seek life to get a little easier after moving past a hurdle, either losing something valuable on the way or healing ourselves a bit more in the process.

The entire human existence seeks for one thing. They wake up every morning, running behind and working endlessly, hoping to acquire it at some point. Peace. The sighing peace after long working hours, the peace that tags along soon after the assignments and homework is complete, the peace that settles inside the mind of a mother as soon as her child walk in through the door at 2 in the morning safe and sound, and the peace that resides while looking at the antiques passed by your grandfather. It's all the same at the end of the day.

And then there is one thing that people desperately want to keep away. Hurt. It is that dangerous weapon that holds the power to slash you into pieces. It pains you to a point until you feel nothing. Unconditional numbness, that slowly creeps you into a black hole of absolute nothingness and immense darkness. One that could effortlessly push an optimistic soul into deranged anguish by just accomplishing one simple trick.

But you know the irony of it all? We all encounter a certain single, for whom we are willing to endure all that pain and suffering that the person brings, with a smile, willing to climb the highest mountain and travel the seven seas, just for their sake.

The guy that stood in front of me was one among those crazy heads. It probably had been a few seconds, but standing with him that way felt like hours, peace settling through every single nerve inside my skin.

Our breathings were ragged, synchronized. Neither of us dared to open our eyes and calculate the distance between us, which was as close as non-existence.

He gently leaned forward and I had my eyes screwed shut. After an anticipatory moment, I felt his lips pecking at the tip of my nose, shortly followed by the gentlest kiss on my forehead, making me lose a few beats. His lips lingered on my forehead for a few moments, and I didn't object.

As soon as he withdrew his lips, I found my arms snaking around his neck and snuggling under his embrace. The comforting feeling intensified when he hugged me back even tighter.

I stood that way for a long time, enjoying the moment of pure bliss. All my unsettling intrusive thoughts vanished into thin air at that moment. Nothing else mattered, other than him and I.

“You shouldn't have left. We would have figured it out together.” He softly whispered.

“I thought it was the best thing to do. Dragging you into my mess would have been very unfair to you.” I said, still holding him tight.

“That doesn't even make sense, Maya.”

“It does. Relationships require certain objectives to accomplish. It needs love, compatibility, companionship, communication, respect, emotional support, and also physical intimacy. It is one of the important parts of a healthy relationship. And I just… I couldn't give it to you, and that would have been unfair to you, Shawn. I would have felt that I am… limiting your choices? And that I'm preventing you from basic human needs.”

“Out of all the points you mentioned, that is the thing you wear your brain out?” I raised my head and watched a playful smile etched on his face.

I narrowed my eyes at him, implying that he wasn't helping.

“I don't even care about those kinds of stuff, Maya. I actually don't even need physical intimacy to express my feelings and what you mean to me, Maya. You being here with me is more than enough, more than anything ever could be.” He stated simply as if it was the most natural thing to say.

Is it just me or does he really have his way with words?

This man is determined to get me a heart attack by making me skip beats.

“I-I…”

“You don't need to say anything. I just wanted you to know that's what my answer would have been back then. I was already aware of your phobia, remember? I would never try to force you into things you don't want to.”His grips tightened around my waist while I gaped at him, speechless.

“I thought… I thought you wouldn't have understood.” I lowered my gaze.

He unbuckled one of his hands and lifted my chin by his fingers, bringing me to look back at him.

“Who would understand my Tinkerbell better than me?” He lowered his head to look at my eyes directly, the smile still plastered across his face.

It was impossible to hold back the smile and I grinned like a maniac. He chuckled, frantically shaking his head.

“You're such a child.” 

He let in a lazy yawn and I smiled asking him, “Wanna go to bed?” He nodded immediately and I let go of him, freeing him from my captive.

“You can take the bed. I will hit the couch.” He said and began walking towards it.

I stopped him on his track by gripping his hand and taking him in the opposite direction. “Or you could sleep next to me,” I suggested.

“Eager much? It's been only a day and you already want cuddles from me?” He smirked.

“In your dream, Pretty boy. And it's not like we haven't done it before.” 

“Hmm… true. But that doesn't hide your excitement.” 

“Shut up before I change my mind.” I glared at him.

His body immediately tensed and he said, “Yes Mam.” saluting with his right hand.

We crawled into the sheets and Shawn literally tucked me in with the blanket. It was those small moments that drove me insane. 

His arm touched mine and I lifted myself slightly allowing him to snuggle his arm in and his other hand clutching mine.

“Better?” He mumbled softly.

“It's perfect,” I replied, closing my eyes.

It finally feels like home.

After what felt like an eternity, I finally slept more peacefully than I had in months.

~

The sunny rays slowly crawled up to my skin in no hurry, and surprisingly, I welcomed it today. I squinted my eyes, adjusting to the brightness, and turned my head around, only to find the bed empty. It smelled like him. Before I could lift myself up to check the room, I heard the sound of running water hitting the tiles coming from the bathroom.

I smiled to myself before launching back on the bed. I have a few more minutes to sleep.

But, of course, my union with my never-ending love for sleep was cut short by the repeated notification of texts howling through a foreign source. That wasn’t mine, for sure.

I groaned under my pillow before pushing myself up and searching for the device. I climbed out of the bed and discovered Shawn’s phone vibrating restlessly at the table counter.

“Shawn, someone is texting you non-stop. It is disturbing my sleep!” I yelled as loud as I could in the early morning so that I was audible enough.

“Could you see it for me? I think it’s from Dr. Dannell’s assistant. She was supposed to fix an appointment early through his schedule.” He yelled back.

I bid goodbye to my sleep. Chloe was more important than that.

“What’s your password?” I yelled again, as I noticed a pin password as I pressed the power button.

“You know it.” He answered.

I raised my eyebrow but smiled nonetheless. It didn’t need Sherlock to guess it.

1-2-3-4. The phone unlocked immediately, I flipped my hair in victory.

Very complex. I mocked. Why do people even bother putting up a password for something as easy as this? A one year toddler could crack it.

Ten new messages were flashing on the notification panel. I opened the chatbox, discovering 39 unread messages from the same contact number.

That doesn't remotely seem professional.

My eyes widened, staring at the name that I least expected. Quinn.

I almost put the phone down, not wanting to snoop into his personal contacts and start baseless assumptions. But then, he was the one who told me to check the messages. So I did.

“Babe, why aren’t you calling me back?”

“I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday, but you are simply ghosting me.”

“I am your girlfriend, goddamnit!”

“I have the right to at least know that you are okay.”

“Call me ASAP, babe.”

“I’m worried for you.”

I exited the application before I could read more.

You’ve gotta be kidding me! This can’t be real.

I felt something built inside me and suddenly crushed. The demon inside, that constantly tried to pull me down into a never-ending cycle of self-doubt, stiffened up, tensing alert; slowly swelling inside me, consuming every inch of my soul. A fire burnt against my skin, beginning to burn away all logic and reason that I had left, irrational anger driving me henceforth.

I wasn't quite sure how long I stood there, spacing out. I zoned in when Shawn yanked me by my shoulder.

“Where did you zone out, Tinkerbell? It's 9 a.m. and you're already daydreaming?” He smirked, rubbing his head with a towel, droplets of water sprinkling out in the mid-air.

“Who was it?” He looked at me with curiosity, when I didn't make out what he had asked, he cleared himself, “Who texted?”

My words escalated before I could catch them.

“Your most caring girlfriend who is worried sick about you.” I crossed my arms, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

He narrowed his eyes, not understanding my change of tone but immediately caught up, his expression changing.

“Let me guess, Quinn?” He asked dryly.

“Bingo! You should definitely text her. She is worried for you.” I walked away a few steps but stopped, turning again, “Let me get one thing straight, is she your girlfriend, calling you babe and all?” 

Please say no.

He rubbed his forehead, smoothing the creases that began to appear.

”When you ask and put it like that, I guess so.”

“Guess so? Are you for real? You're telling me that you have a girlfriend yet you said all those… sweet things to me and slept next to me the whole night?”

“I didn't initiate the idea, you did.”

“Yes, because I didn't know you had a girlfriend for damn's sake. How could you do that?”

“Calm down, Maya. Stop acting out irrationally. It's... complicated.” He sighed.

“It always is, isn't it?” I looked away, not believing this conversation was actually happening.

“She isn't even my girlfriend by my own free will. She just… declared herself as one.”

“Are you even listening to yourself? You sound insane!” I raised my hands up in incredulity.

“Yeah, now that I say it out loud, it sounds pathetic. I think I didn't care about it before until now. Just hear me out once.”

I sighed in anticipation. I shook my head. 

“This is too much to process at once, Shawn. I need to think clearly. I need some air.” I began walking towards the door.

“Please don't walk out again, Maya. Please. Just hear me out.” I turned my head, to find his pleading face. My weak heart felt like being ripped out of my chest by watching the look on his face. 

“I need a little time alone, please.” And just like that, I walked out of the door.

It was merely ten steps when I realized I'm still in his t-shirt and shorts and I can't possibly go out dressed like this.

Great. Just great.

~

After roaming around the floor for an hour, I decided to go back in. Letting my mind run loose to think about infinite possibilities about the entire situation was just pointless.

As pathetic I was at that moment, I knew what it felt like last night. It wasn't forged, or wrong. It just felt so… right.

And the one thing I learned from life was, never leave before hearing every side of the story or an assumed theory of your own. It always did more harm than good.

I turned the doorknob, revealing me a pacing back-and-forth Shawn, his face brewed a worrisome look. His eyes fled up as soon as he heard the clicking of the door and rushed towards me immediately.

He pulled me into a strong hug, squeezing my body to a point where I began to struggle for a free passage of air.

“You're choking me.” I managed to let out a few words and he released me immediately.

“I thought you walked away again.” His hands cupped my face.

“No more. At least not until you tell me what is going on.” He nodded slightly, taking my hand and directing me towards the bed.

He motioned me to sit and I did. He sat next to me, leaving a calculable distance.

“I don't even know how it started. It actually never did. I was in a vulnerable state when you left, you know. And Chloe's sickness broke in. I was not in a good place. I missed my mom so much. My dad's presence was as good as none. I never cared about it anyway. My world felt snatched away from me. Watching Chloe suffer that way haunted me for nights. I felt like I couldn't talk through my feelings with anyone. I just couldn't bring myself to, as I did with you. You were the closest thing I had to home, Maya. 

I just wanted to take my mind off of everything, and Quinn asked if she could take me out for a movie, so I would feel better, and I agreed. She began hanging out and I didn't mind the company unless she began quoting everything as a date and addressing me as his boyfriend. I retorted for a while but considering how big of a controlling freak she was turning out to be, I stopped trying and let her do whatever she wanted. I know, it was a stupid thing to do. It went too far. I am sorry you had to find it this way.” His gaze remained glued to the ground the entire time. He was trying his best not to sound vulnerable.

“I am sorry you had to go through it alone. I am sorry for everything.” I whispered, a tear rolling down and landed at the back of his hand. 

“It's just that I felt I was the ‘other person’ wrecking your relationship.”

“There will never be someone like you for me.” He muttered to himself.

I inched closer to him and pulled him into a hug, which due to our position was more like a side hug, with both hands encasing.

I snuggled into his neck and deeper and we sat there like that, for I didn't know how long.

~

“I will drive you back to your apartment. I have a few errands to run anyway.” He grabbed his keys as we began to depart.

I donned into one of his plain white t-shirts and my jeans from last night. I am beginning to grow fonder of the scent lingering around my body through his clothes. It's slowly becoming my favorite scent. Mint and Vanilla.

“Sure. I could really use a ride.” I flashed a bright smile and he returned it with an even brighter one.

We snuck into our seats and put on the seat belts. As we drove, the hurling wind rushed past me, hitting my skin with a cooler breeze, rejuvenating me bits by bits.

My hand reached towards the radio and I turned to Shawn, asking if he would mind. He nodded his head, implying me to go on and I did.

And every time we talk
Every single word builds up to this moment
And I gotta convince myself
I don't want it even though I do

I widened my eyes at the irony.

You could break my heart in two
But when it heals, it beats for you
I know it's forward but it's true

Why do the right songs play at the most wrong yet right timing? 

I wanna hold you when I'm not supposed to
When I'm lying close to someone else
You're stuck in my head and I can't get you out of it
If I could do it all again
I know I'd go back to you.

I didn't dare to turn my sight sideways, I could already feel his eyes on me, and a devilish grin sculpted across his pretty face, I'm assuming.

I turned the radio off and banged my back a little harder at the seat than I intended to. Shawn let out a small laugh at this but quickly ended it.

“Just take a left from here.” I pointed him in the direction.

“There,” I pointed at the white duplex, “That's where I live,” I informed.

We got out and Shawn scanned the area for a second before turning to me.

He pulled me into a hug and I instantly hugged him back. 

“Call me if you need anything.” He said.

“I'm pretty sure this should be the other way around. You call me if you need anything.”

“Maya! Where the fuck have you been?” A fuming voice lashed out of somewhere and I encountered a very worried yet furious Niall trudging towards us.

“Do you have any idea how worried I was? Why don't you answer your fucking phone woman? I thought something bad happened to you!” He shrieked, his voice an equal blend of rage and anguish.

“Calm down, Niall. It's all okay.” I tried to diffuse the situation.

His eyes lingered upon me for a few seconds, relief flooding toward his demeanor, before turning his attention to Shawn.

“Who the fuck are you?” He snarled in an irritated tone.

“And who the fuck are you?” Shawn replied, with an equal amount of resentment.

Both of their eyes landed upon me, as if asking me to answer all of their questions.

Shit.

Hey y'all! I hope you are having a good day!

It's so difficult to juggle between studies and assignments and writing! My respect for authors always reach a new heights every passing day.

What's your comfort food? Mine would be pizza lol :p

I hope you liked this chapter.

Feel free to vote and comment.

I'll see you guys soon.
Stay tuned♡.

~Loveya~( ˘ ³˘)