I began pondering if spilling my life out in the open was the smartest thing to do, in front of a supposedly stranger, that somehow happened to be my therapist and a person who meant something to me, I can’t put my finger on what exactly, that barely cared for me anymore.

I couldn’t dare to look at anyone directly. It would be just too much. I stared right in front of the mirror hanging at the back of the wall, displaying our reflections. I glanced aside and looked at the figure sitting next to me. He was staring right into me. His eyes refused to leave my sight. I analyzed closely, his eyes radiated emotions that I wasn't able to get hold of, but a few of them were clearly evident, sorrow and sympathy. 

Sympathy is a funny thing. I always hated being sympathized. Most of the time it amounts to just a string or two of hollow words, spoken merely out of social etiquette; they don't mean a thing. An annoying thing to which you can't think of a retort, but to simply nod your head in dismay. It makes you the object of pity. Sympathy strikes me as too close to pity and that's something I never want to be, I never want to be pitied.

“Maya.” I looked up, Sophia finally breaking the silence, “What you confessed was a very brave act. You should be proud of yourself. I am not going to ask you how you feel after you spilled your heart out in front of us. I want you to know how strong of a person you are, and you should be proud of yourself just as I am.”

“Umm… thanks, I guess?” I didn't know what to say. “But I'm not sure if proud and brave should be the words to use for me. If I was brave enough I would have-” She cut me off before I could finish.

“Do not say that. What you experienced was horrific. If I was in your shoes, I do not know how I would have ever passed that phase.”

“You are just saying that to make me feel better.” I rolled my eyes yet a small, weak smile sneaked up at the corner of my lips.

“You are a strong and beautiful girl, Maya. Confronting your past was the first step into healing yourself. You just achieved your first milestone. Accepting it and moving on from it is your next step. And I'll be here to help you with everything I can.” She shot me a reassuring smile.

I simply nodded and got up from my seat. “I think we should leave now,” I said and she nodded, pulling me in for a warm hug.

My body stiffened in surprise but quickly returned the gesture. I pulled out and tugged my shirt down, smoothing the edges.

My eyes landed on him for the first time after the whole confession fiasco, finding his eyes still fixed on me. I widened my eyes, gesturing for him to get up so that we could leave. He didn't follow through.

I booted him on his shin, snapping him out of his clouded world, and gestured to him to get up.

“It was nice… meeting you, Sophia.” He finally spoke as we began to leave.

“Same here, Shawn.” We began to walk away before she called again, “Shawn, would you mind if I could talk to you for a minute?”

He looked at me and I shot him a confused look.

“You go ahead. I'll meet you outside.” He said, not meeting my eyes.

Umm…

“O-Okay. I'll be in the car.” I blurted but he walked out and joined Sophia.

I walked out of the door as soon as my legs could permit as a supposed walking and dashed off as soon as I shut the door closed behind them.

I'm such an idiot. This was a bad idea. I can barely hold the tears back anymore and I burst out into silent sobs in the empty elevator.

I hurried back to my car, pressed the key, and opened the door, swiftly seated on the leather seat and banged my head into the steering wheel, bursting into fits of inaudible sobs. I wasn't entirely sure of the reason for my breakdown, but I did until the physical throbbing pain took over the emotional one.

~

Around ten minutes later, Shawn arrived and got into the car. I put on my earphones right before he came into sight, just to avoid any possible conversation. I simply didn't have the energy.

I put the volume louder as I figured his lips were moving, probably saying something to me. Before I knew it, he plucked out one of my earphones out of my ear.

“Hey!” I whined, stunned at his behavior when he was the one giving me cold shoulders a few minutes ago.

“I asked something.” He said.

“What?”

“Were you crying?” His voice softened.

“No!” I said, almost immediately.

“You could never lie to me, Maya Matthews. Look at me.” He cupped my chin, forcing me to look up at him, “Your eyes are swollen and your cheeks are damped with tear stains. Why even bother lying?” He stated, with a slight smirk curing across his lips.

Damn that foundation. 

In my defense, I wanted to look presentable before meeting Shawn this morning. I just dabbed the liquid all over my face and it only made me look like a goat tortured with a makeover.

“Do you want me to take you to your hotel?” I asked, trying to shift the subject.

He watched me in a startled manner for a bit before regaining is his composition and said, 

“No, not really. I'm craving some ice cream, to be honest. It's been a while since I had one. Do you know any ice cream parlors nearby?”

“Huh?” I wasn't expecting this.

“Do you know any or should leave it to google maps?” He asked, a grin spreading across his face.

“Uh-... Yeah. Of course. I do.” I turned the engine into life and drove to the location in complete silence.

~

“Earth to Maya!” A voice called out, snapping me out of unconsciousness. Now I'm zoning out. Great. I rolled my gaze up. It was Shawn's.

“What were you saying?” I asked, bringing my left palm on my chin, resting my elbow on the counter.

“I asked if you agree with me?” A playful smile danced across his face. I missed his smile.

“Uh-yeah, of course!” I agreed. I have no idea what he was talking about.

“So you agree that chocolate chip cookie dough is a weird flavor?” 

“Hey, I take personal offense to that statement!” I retorted. “You do know how much I like them!”

“But you just agreed otherwise.” He said, shooting his smirk victoriously.

“Uh… I-I thought you were talking about… strawberries.” 

“Second most boring flavor I was ever tortured with. Chloe made me taste them.” He uttered the last statement almost as a whisper.

“What's the ‘first’ most boring then?” I tried to change the subject.

“Vanilla. Hell, I hate that flavor.” He ran his hand through his hair, his voicing regaining its composure.

“Okay, I can agree on that. It's more- basic. Yeah, that's the word. But I wouldn't say it's the most boring flavor-”

“Sure.” He smirked, as if not considering my argument.

"Ahem.” A voice cleared his throat. I directed my eyes on the source and encountered a, I don't really know what a person working on an ice cream shop called, waiting for us to order, running out of patience.

Apparently, we had been stalling the queue for quite some time now.

“Hello, I would like to have a Belgian chocolate and-” I turned to Shawn.

“A mint chocolate chip for me.” He completed it.

“That would be all.” I slid my credit card out and pushed it across the counter.

“I am not letting you pay.” He shook his head, attempting to take my card back.

“I am not negotiating here. Just go back to our seats. People are waiting to order too, you know?”

“I am not going to let you pay. It was my idea in the first place.” He debated.

“It's already done.” I turned around and flashed a small smile to the cashier who completely ignored our bantering and slid the card into the machine. I entered the pin and made the payment, shooting a victorious grin at Shawn.

He shot him a murderous glare and I literally dragged him to our seats.

He huffed loudly and took out his phone and began playing his fingers on the screen.

He took this supposedly very well and didn't go all 'I am a man and I should pay for all the stuff'  on me.

A notification beeped on my phone screen and I unlocked my phone to check it.

A Venmo notification that said, 

Shawn Daniel just paid Maya Matthews

The title said,
For being the most stubborn girl.

What a smartass!

I tapped on it and saw the huge ten-dollar sign in the bold and enlarged font. I gritted my teeth and let out a huff in annoyance and began fiddling my fingers as well, turning the tables around.

His phone beeped a notification this time and I set my back on my seat, crossing my hand and a bragging smile plastered across my lips.

He narrowed his eyes close to the screen for a while before turning his eyes on me.

“Really? Sending me the money back? Very mature.” 

“I am, thank you very much. And half of it. I sent you half of your money. Let's go dutch. It is only fair.”

He pondered for a moment before finally answering.

“Fine. Fuck, you are so stubborn for heaven's sake.”

“It's a gift.” I shrugged teasingly.

It was times like this that made everything seem so normal. As if, nothing ever really changed. As much as it seemed natural and comforting, there was a constant nagging at the back of my head that cried out that it just wasn't the same anymore.

“Are you okay?” He inquired softly, sensing my deep thoughts.

I wasn't really sure what he was referring to so I nodded, “Yeah, I'm fine.” 

He took a small pause before mumbling an 'okay.'

We decided to take off shortly after a short while.

The walk to the car was silent yet soothing. We exchanged a few tight-lipped glances and that was all.

My mind wanted to reckon about the events that took place and the repercussions that followed but my subconscious was too apprehensive to dive in. 

The constant battle that was fought inside exhausted me, both mentally and physically. I just wanted to snuggle inside my comfy blanket and never come out until I lay on my deathbed. Yep, that's the plan.

I'm never meeting people again. 

Before I knew it, we were parked outside his hotel. My hands refused to unclutch my fingers from the steering wheel, and his bottom refused to lift and crawl out of the passenger seat.

After waiting for another dreadful minute, I decided to speak.

“In case you haven't noticed, we are here. At your hotel.” I plainly declared. His eyes hung over me for a second before shifting it outside of the tinted window.

“Oh. I didn't realize. I was too busy in my thoughts.” He answered casually, but I was certain that he was fibbing.

“Ok...kay. Aren't you gonna go?”

“I would. But I was hoping you would walk me out?” 

I was taken by surprise. Am I hallucinating?

I was about to come up with a snarky remark, a 'what are you? Five' but shove the urgency back into the pothole.

“Yeah, okay sure.” I alighted from the car, walking a 180 degree, and stood beside him.

As presumed, we didn't speak a single word even in the very short walk to the entrance door.

Today's entire events leading up to this very moment made me think if coming out was the best choice. I must look like a freak show. I wouldn't blame Shawn for not wanting to have anything to do with me anymore. I wouldn't want to have anything to do with myself too.

And maybe, just maybe, I should give up on the tiny possibility of reconciliation. 

What was I thinking? That I would open up some deep screwed up shit from my past and that would make up for the terrible things I've done to everyone and he would forgive and welcome me with open arms and love? Stupid little me.

At that point, I didn't even know what I was gonna do anymore. My entire existence just felt drained.

We reached the vestibule and paused on our steps. I turned to flash a subtle smile and bid him goodbye.

“So this is it, I guess. I should probably leave. It's getting dark. I'll see you… again. And good luck with whatever you came here looking for. Take care, Shawn.” My voice began to trail off by the end. 

Saying goodbye is the most difficult and the worst feeling that ever existed. Life would have been so much simpler if we never met the ones who were destined to leave and make the ones stay for as long as we could who are already in it.

But life is that sinister bitch who sat down to plot the perfect mess and create quite a binge-worthy drama and sprinkle unending chaos and tragedies that are entirely yours to clean.

I looked at him for a moment longer, memorizing every detail of his angelic face one last time, and turned away, walking off.

“Stay.” His words echoed around open-air but that reverberated inside my head for a few seconds before fully understanding it.

I turned around and stared at him and he stared back at me with equal intensity.

I am definitely hallucinating now.

Before acting and making a perfect fool of myself, I asked, “What?”

“I said stay. I don't want you to leave. Not again. Stay here with me.” I stared at him, asking for any sort of satire but he gave none. He was serious.

”I don't think that's a good idea.” My voice was barely a whisper.

“Nothing ever really is.” He quoted.

~

I found myself staring at the ceiling, my hands supporting my weight that rested on his bed.

I couldn't seem to find any rational reason as to what I was doing there in the first place.

Shawn went inside the bathroom to freshen up while he left me to rummage through his closet and find myself a decently fitting cloth from his 'manly' collection. That's what he liked to quote them.

His entire wardrobe was filled with comfortable-looking t-shirts and casual shorts. He just looked adorable in casual clothing. Who was I kidding? That guy would still manage to look adorable in a garbage bag dress.

I took out a plain black t-shirt and grabbed black shorts hurriedly. One of his boxers tagged along with his shorts and I threw it back almost immediately.

The top touched just my thighs and the shorts just above my knees. I untied my hair and let it cascade in a swirl.

The door clicked open and Shawn walked out, rubbing the towel on his hair. His gaze drifted towards me. His grey eyes sparkled and he subtly took in the sight of me. Let me rephrase that. It was anything but subtle. He didn't even try to hide.

“That looks way better on you than it ever did on me.” He tried to feign a pout but failed miserably.

“You're just exaggerating. You look better in anything.” I whined teasingly.

“Did you just admit that you find me hot?” He began walking towards me, a playful smirk etched across his face.

“Don't flatter yourself. I'm actually complimenting the clothes. You are just an object forced to fit in it.”

“Is that so?” He asked, now in a very dangerously close distance from me.

“Mmhmm.” I look up, meeting his eyes, his body almost towering over me.

“I missed those sassy little comebacks.” He gently spoke, tucking a few strands behind my ears.

“I-...” I didn't know what to say.

“Your biceps look bigger. Have you been working out?” I mentally slap myself for coming up with such senseless topics.

He let out a chuckle, shaking his head, “Yeah, I had been. Channelizing my anger and frustration into the gym. Don't I just look devastatingly handsome? You should feel what I have done with my abs. I have been working on my lower abs lately.”

“Keep dreaming and no, as much as I desperately want to, I shall pass.” I  shot a devilish grin at him.

“Ouch, that hurt my feelings, Maya.” He feigned a dagger stabbing his chest dramatically.

He both laughed until our guts began to hurt. He then slowly snaked his arm around my waist, pulling me closer and making me skip several beats.

He leaned closer and rested his forehead against mine.

“I have missed you, Maya.” He mumbled softly. His eyes were closed, his breaths softly crashed against my skin.

“I missed you, too,” I admitted, my voice ragged.

My hands involuntarily landed on his chest feeling his delicate heartbeat against my palm.

He unwrapped his hands from my waist and traveled them all across my face holding them with a steady grip. His thumbs caressed both my cheeks and it was enough to ignite the heat all over my skin.

His head slowly leaned over towards mine and I squeezed my eyes shut.

“Don't do something that you might regret doing when you wake up the next day.” My voice was almost inaudible. I could hear the thumping of my heartbeat very distinctly.

“Nothing makes me regret when it comes to you, Maya Matthews.” I could feel him smiling and it was enough to let my mind wander in euphoria. 

Hey guys! How are you doing? I feel like I don't engage with my readers that much. I try to, as much as I can, but it sometimes doesn't feel enough.

So I'll be engaging with you all and know you better. I would ask you a question after every update, hoping to know y'all better.

What is your top three escape from reality? Mine would be reading fiction, binge-watching shows, and series, and listening to music per se my mood.

I hope you liked this chapter.

Feel free to vote and comment.

I'll see you guys soon.
Stay tuned♡.

~Loveya~( ˘ ³˘)