Shawns P.O.V

The world slipped under my feet. I could hear my heart pounding, ears burning red and my body temperature suddenly amplifying.

I didn't realize that she still held the power to sweep the ground under my feet and make me feel weak in my knees. Just a mere sight of her could still tingle the inside of my stomach and burst uncontrollable bittersweet emotions that I didn't realize I kept hidden from the world, including myself.

My eyes involuntarily scanned her from her hair to toenail, like it was its task with utmost priority, numerous times, unable to believe between reality or a sick, sweet dream. I couldn't blink, afraid I might lose sight of her the second I do. But it didn't.

She watched me in awe, equally stunned at our destiny to bring us back again in the same room after all this time in a completely unknown city. We stood there quietly, without exchanging a word, staring into each other's eyes like it was the only thing left to do and we couldn't get enough, and maybe, even trying to figure out our own unanswered questions.

I didn't want to waste a single second. My eyes were eager to absorb all her sight to make up for the past eighteen months because I knew the moment we talked, I wouldn't want to be anywhere near her. But no amount of time could make up for all the lost time.

But my emotions got the best of me and I found myself whispering out her name, the name that escaped my lips after a year in the most desirable tone.

“Maya?”

She looked different. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun, and not the usual ponytail she used to. She looked pale, skinnier than the last time I saw her. Her eye bags were prominently visible, she didn't even bother to conceal them. She never liked makeup, and I was oddly glad that some things didn't change. But her complete persona seemed tired.

She never knew how to take care of herself. She seemed weak, exhausted. Yet, she was still the most beautiful angel I had ever laid my eyes on.

A sudden controllable urge emerged inside me to hold her with all my might and never let go. I lost count of how many times I imagined this moment and about all the things I would say to her, but all of that disappeared into thin air. Something inside me pulled me back from doing so. Hurt.

All the memories came rushing back to the surface and the hurt laced along with it.

“Shawn? Wha- How What are you doing here? How did you find me?” The words escaped her mouth reluctantly, her eyes too afraid to meet mine now.

The train of memory suddenly hit me and all I could think about was how the memories of the past eighteen months flashed in front of my eyes.

I let out a strong breath and looked at her for one extra second before turning on my heel and began walking out.

I neither had the time nor the energy to put up with another drama for the night that wasn't worth the effort, not for someone who simply walked away and disappeared as if nothing mattered and it was the most casual thing to do. I couldn't halt the tear that rolled right down my cheek, contemptuously announcing the power she still held to shatter every shred of my soul.

I hurriedly stepped out of the bar and began pacing my steps through the empty street. My hotel was a thirty-minute walk. I mentally lectured myself for not taking a cab instead, but at that moment, all I wanted was to get away from that place.

It wasn't long when I heard a voice behind me, a voice that I desperately wanted to hear in the past eighteen months, a voice that was music to my ear. But today, all I wanted was to do anything but hear that voice, that wasn't any less than a siren song.

I reluctantly turned back and saw her standing, her eyes foreshadowing thousands of emotions and it took every ounce of my will to not meet it for the moment.

“What do you want?” My voice rather came out cold and harsh, as I asked looking away.

There was a momentary silence, she was at a loss for words as I assumed while the tension around the air started growing thicker as moments passed by and we stood there, my eyes daring not to meet hers.

“What are you doing here, Shawn?” I finally turned my eyes to face her, her eyes trying to interpret mine as they longed for an answer.

“Not here for you, that's for sure. And I don't think you have the right to ask me that anymore.” I couldn't believe the words that escaped my lips, but at that point, I didn't care anymore.

“Shawn plea-”

“It is just a coincidence, Maya. I am not here for you. I didn't even know that you came here after your little runaway.”

Her eyes quivered in shock.

“Oh.” was all she managed to mutter.

The chilled breeze was cold against my skin, but the temperature in my body felt increasing with every passing second while we stood there silently.

“How are you?” She finally spoke, urging me to look at her.

“Are we really doing that small talk shit?” I surprised us both when the vengeful words crawled out to the surface.

She began to form a few words but I cut in before she could say anything.

“I am sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I am just in a shitty mood and it's been a shitty day.” I explained honestly. I was in a bad mood.

“Is... everything alright?” She asked nervously. She was trying hard to choose her words carefully around me.

“No, not really. It's about Chloe. She isn't well.”

What the hell? Did I really tell her about Chloe when she couldn't even care less?

I couldn't believe I just told her about her. Shit. I should have said something else, came up with a lie. I did not want her to know about Chloe. She's the one who left, she couldn't even care less about her. My subconscious screamed.

Of course, she didn't.

“Chloe? What's wrong with her? Is she alright?” Panic evident in her voice and her face was filled with worry.

“Why do you care?” I said it out too loud.

“Excuse me? What do you mean? Do you think I don't care about her?” She asked in an incredulous tone, raising her voice.

“Evidently, yes. If you did, you would have asked your mom about us or her, I am pretty sure Mrs. Matthews wouldn't have kept it from you if you asked. So tell me, did you?” I couldn't believe my clouded judgment would betray me and break out instead of just shutting up and walking out of the conversation.

She stared at the ground instead.

“Thought so,” I smirked in disdain and turned around to walk away.

“I am sorry.” She muttered, still staring at the ground, making me turn around.

“What for?”

“For everything.” I knew she wanted to say more but decided against it.

“It doesn't change anything, Maya.”

I wanted this to be over, get past everything and go back to how we used to be. I wanted that so much. But I knew that could never happen. A lot of things have changed. No matter how badly I wanted to deny it, they did.

“I mean it, Shawn. I really do. You have no idea how much I missed you. How much I wanted to see that pretty face and that unbelievable cocky attitude. I did not want to admit it to myself before but I did, I really did.”

I felt a weird tuck in my chest and it oddly felt good. I didn't know if this is what they called feeling butterflies since I may have heard it being felt in the stomach or something.

I quickly reverted from my unwelcome thoughts and presented a straight face, refusing to show the exciting feeling I had just a moment ago.

“It would have been nicer if you simply showed that instead of merely uttering. It doesn't change anything, Maya nor does it bring back the past eighteen months.”

“Shaw-”

“The damage is done, Maya.”

If being away from her wasn't painful enough, the look on her face right now surely did the trick. Her still, soft face shouted pain and hurt. She stood there frozen, staring at her grey wedges.

I don't know how the past one and a half years went down for her. I didn't have the slightest clue. For what it seemed like, it wasn't any better, or that's what I would like to think. But it wasn't the best for me either. Hell, it was the worst if I had to compare. I was mad at her. Beyond mad. And hurt. It took every last bit of my sanity to stay glued in my step and not go and take her in my embrace and comfort her, just to prove my point.

”I should get going. It was nice seeing you again.” What is wrong with me?

As I was about to leave, she called me in a soft voice.

“Where are you staying?” She asked.

“Skyridge, Arcade Avenue,” I answered without thinking.

I am high and I didn't even have a single drink. I groan internally.

“Goodbye, Maya.” I muttered and left, not daring to look back.

I kept walking until I took a turn. Once I made sure I was out of sight, I let out a heavy breath that I didn't realize I was holding.

What an uneventful turn of events. My subconscious mocked.

My mind was all over the place. I couldn't think straight. I didn't have the slightest clue what a new day was going to bring along. I shoved aside my unsettling rambling of thoughts and just as I was about to start walking, my phone began buzzing.

I groaned and lifted my phone to check who was calling me this late. Quinn.

Why am I not surprised?

I put the phone in silent mode and shoved it back into my pocket.

I will deal with this drama later. I had enough for one night.

Hey guys, I hope you liked this chapter. I had a lot of fun writing this, conflicting Shawn between his heart and mind.

And we reached 10k! You guys have no idea what that means to me! I love you guys so much!

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I'll see you guys soon.
Stay tuned♡.

~Loveya~( ˘ ³˘)