Warning: This chapter contains content that might be triggering to some readers as it involves recollection of traumatic events and mention of a certain phobia.
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Before we knew it, it was time for Christmas. I was officially discharged from my home quarantine and was granted permission to leave the house as I pleased. Shawn's family was supposed to visit our house this evening and so I bought three extra gifts than usual like I always did. I really wish that they like them.

I wandered around my room, constantly checking if I looked alright or not. I wore a sleeveless wide black and white striped crop top with a lemon yellow skirt with a bow knot belt and paired it with white platform high heels. 

Am I looking fat? Is it too much? Or am I underdressed? Is this going with my hairstyle? Are the shoes too casual? Ugh, 
Shut up!

My conflicting thoughts were disrupted by the sudden echo of the doorbell. I mentally confirmed the dress and without letting a second thought rummage through my head, I headed downstairs to receive the guests.

My mom welcomed Shawn's family and greeted them with warmth as she invited them in. Chloe held her dad's hands while Shawn carried the boxes of gifts. He wore a dark grey t-shirt and a deep blue denim jacket with black ripped jeans from the knee and paired them with navy blue sneakers. His hair was disheveled as usual but that was one of the many things that made him more attractive.

His eyes wandered around the house and a wide smile spread across his face as his eyes landed upon me.

We all gathered in the living room, talking, and having a great time. The atmosphere simply made me feel happy; people I loved gathered around; Christmas songs playing in the background; the house was as bright as stars because of all the fairy lights decorations and the Christmas tree dressed beautifully with presents filled up underneath. 

The table was set up magnificently. The tablecloth was a deep red color with gorgeous swirly gold designs. On top of that were a little Christmas tree and a sparkly candle in the middle. Shiny silverware was wrapped in green cloth napkins, sitting next to the plates. Mom brought the best part of the evening now: the food! I woke up in the morning with excitement from the aroma hitting my nostrils of my mom cooking in the kitchen. 

I helped my mom to carry all the food to the table. We all sat on our seats, mumbling our prayer in unison. And then we started to talk and enjoyed the food. Not only did it smell great, but it also tasted delicious! 

After the feast, we all gathered in the living room and started exchanging and unwrapping our gifts.

"I hope you bought something badass for me," Shawn said as he started to unwrap my gift.

I really hoped that he liked it.

I bought him two watches. Well, actually one for him and the other one for me. The quote was one of my favorites. ‘In life, it's not where you go, It's who you go with.’

I asked the horologist to sculpt them differently so that the former watch always needs the latter watch to be complete. I didn't know if that sounded silly but I wanted it in a way that they both needed each other to complete each other, just like us. He was everything that I wasn't. In our own messed-up way, we both complemented each other. Although, I highly doubted I would ever be able to explain that to him.

He looked at it for a while before turning back to me, looking up at me to explain to him the meaning of it.

"I thought you might like it and that quote is a life teaching quote. I just liked it the very instant my eyes landed on them." I fibbed.

"Am I supposed to wear both of them?" He laughed.

"No, one of them is for me, you idiot." I told and clasped the second watch.

"Well..." He said, loudly enough to grasp the attention of others. "I need one more gift from you, Tinkerbell." 

I raised my eyebrow in astonishment.

"You have to come with me to a party which is about in an hour." He announced.

"No-" 

"Yes, she would love to, Shawn!" My mom barged in and cut me off before I could disagree.

"Mom!" 

"You should go, sweetie. It's been ages since you've last attended a party. Just go out and have fun like a normal teenage girl. Do this for us, sweetie." 

I hung my head down in defeat. There was no point in arguing with her. I shot Shawn a quick furious glance and headed upstairs to get ready as quickly as possible.

I wore a black evening cocktail dress with black pointed heels and paired it with a matching quilted chain-strap purse. I swept my hair in a messy bun and applied a rosy nude lipstick. After checking myself for the umpteenth time, I finally headed downstairs to join Shawn.
                                   ~

It took us about an hour to reach the location. Shawn was pretty chilled as he drove while I, on the other hand, was constantly trying to calm down my thumping chest which felt like it would collapse anytime.

It wasn't my first time. No, I've been to a pretty good number of parties back in junior year. But my anxiety grew when someone spiked my glass of water. No, I didn't drink. It was never my forte. A drunk moron maliciously spiked my drink and I was as close as to get raped that night if it wasn't for Mason who arrived at the right time.

Shawn sensed my uneasiness and took my hand and entangled it with his. It did soothe me to some extent but I couldn't surpass the gut feeling that ushered inside me that something was about to happen tonight.

I landed my feet on the ground as Shawn opened the car door for me and took my hand and led the way to the party. The outdoor party was filled with hundreds of hormonal teenagers who were scattered everywhere into small groups. Strings of fairy lights hung on the deck, the fence, and even the tree branches overhead. 

I looked around as I made myself comfortable on a bench and Shawn departed to call out his friends. A few people clustered on one side were engrossed playing beer pong while on the other side, couples clustered in a corner, canoodling. I tried to overbear the feeling that aroused inside my chest as I stared at them longingly. Although I was quite happy with my no dating life, yet sometimes in weak moments like this, I would wonder what that would feel like and a sheer feeling of emptiness would settle inside me.

I didn't notice Shawn returning and taking a seat next to mine. He extended his hand to offer me a drink, snapping me out of my thoughts, and asked, "Enjoying yourself?"

"I'm good," I answered while rejecting the glass by shaking my head.

"You never had a boyfriend, did you?" He asked while looking in the same direction as me, sipping his drink.

"Who said I didn't?"

He choked in his drink while looking at me with his eyes wide open. He stared at me, telepathically signaling me to start talking.

"There isn't much to say." I started as I adjusted my position to get a better view of him, "It was a long time ago. Probably around when I was in sophomore year. His name was Charlie. Charlie Davis. We had almost every class together and he was the first and only guy I had a serious crush on. After a few weeks, it came to my notice that he liked me too. He would drop anonymous letters in my locker and pass chits during classes. He would bring me chocolates and a rose every time we met. Pretty cliche, I know. But I lived for that shit. What would you expect from a 15 years old girl? We just clicked... you know and we started dating at the beginning of junior year."

"What went wrong then?" He asked, listening keenly to every word I said while sipping his drink.

I let out a small smile and recollected the distant memories. "We were pretty great together. We dated for a couple of months. They called us the power couple of the school as I was the typical nerd and he was the captain of the basketball team. But my little bubble of perfect life burst when he started to ask for intimacy. Hugs and kisses were fine but, sex was too intimate for me. I still wasn't ready for it."

"Was he that bad?" He joked.

"I have genophobia," I replied bluntly.

"You wha- Really?" He asked in astonishment, his eyes clearly were about to pop out.

I just nodded and continued, looking away.

"At first, when I told him that I wasn't ready, he said that he understood and respected my decision and that he would wait for me until I was ready. But after a few days, he constantly began asking for it and that really started to annoy me, and that frustrated him even more. But he crossed the line when he drugged me so that he could sleep with me. I learned about it the next day when Olivia informed me that I was dragged out of the party, unconscious and Charlie carried me in the streets to his place that was a few blocks away but fortunately, the cops were patrolling the street at the very same time so he panicked and threw me on the ground and ran off, leaving me lying unconscious on the road. They found me shortly after and escorted me to the nearest hospital."

Shawn stared at me blankly for a moment. He didn't move an inch. The revelation surely did stagger him. And it was natural for him to do so. 

It wasn't one of my proudest moments. My body still quivered on any memory of it. Not that it added more to my genophobia, it also made me lose my faith in people. I really did love him. Well, I thought I did. And trust me, I loved him enough that I almost convinced myself to give in to him only for him to do the worst thing anyone could possibly ever do to someone and break every single chunk of my trust. One cannot imagine the amount of shriek pain and disbelief that thundered inside me when I learned what he did to me. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. My mind felt too numb to hear anything else. I felt my world collapse under my feet. Not for love, I was too numb to not understand that he wouldn't spare me even for the sake of humanity. I lost my faith and ability to trust people at that very instant.

"Stop gawking at me. If you are planning for some pity party, don't bother. I've moved past it. It was a long time ago."

"Did you report him for what he did to you?" was all he managed to speak.

"Yes, we did. He was in jail for three days. We wanted to continue to press charges but his parents cried at our doorstep, begging us to withdraw all the charges as it would cost him his entire life. I honestly didn't want to but his parents promised me that they would shift to another city and I would never have to see his face again. I've not seen or heard of him ever since."

He just nodded, placing his glass on the bench, and stood up lengthening his hand asking for mine, and I did and he pulled me in a strong tight hug. I instinctively hugged him back and strangely, I felt safe under his embrace.

We stood there for a while before pulling away. He whispered in my ears that he would now introduce me to his friends and he took my hand into his and led me the way.
                                   ~

Shawn led me to the most secluded area of the party where I could only figure four people, where two of them were browsing through their phones, one was leaning back with his hands folded behind his head and his feet resting on the wooden bench, and the last one leaned down on the ground, probably searching for something.

An instinctive gut feeling rushed through me and I knew that they were going to be trouble. A pink-haired girl finally looked up from her phone screen and eyed me from head to toe, checking me out. A feeling of uneasiness emerged inside me as I reflexively lifted my hands to cover myself. A smirk made its way on her face as she stood up and started walking in my direction.

She stopped just a few inches away from me and raised her eyebrows saying, "Is she the ‘friend’ you were talking about?" She twitched her lips and continued, “Seems like a poor charity case to me."

She turned around her head to see the reaction of the others and they all had a smirk carved on their faces.

Excuse me? What did she just say?

Without any further thought, I slowly stepped towards her and sleekly took her phone away from her grip, showing it off on her face, and gracefully jerked my hand, letting my grip loosen, and tossed it in the pool of water.

Her face turned blank and I smirked in victory. 

"Oops! I dropped your phone, I'm sorry I'm a klutz. I guess you have to summon some people to take it out. Might as well buy a new phone, perhaps? But do you have the money for it? I mean, out of pure assumption, it seems like a lot of money is spent on your hair and clothes only. Seems like you're the charity case now." 

I had no idea where this sudden blast of confidence came from.

There was an immediate 'whoa' from the little crowd that sat in front of us and the guy who was leaning down on the ground now started applauding with his chest held high.

"I like her already." The second, blonde girl said while she stood up and walked closer towards me, standing right beside me.

Her right hand traveled and landed on my right shoulder, pulling me closer. 

"Me too." The other two guys tweeted one after the other.

"Yeah, she's one of us now." The pink-haired girl remarked, the smirk still plastered on her face.

I shot her an astonishing look.

Did she really say that after I threw her iPhone in the goddamn swimming pool?

"Welcome to the Weirdo group, Maya," Shawn spoke softly.

I tilted my head to get a better look at him and he flashed me a small smile.

"Maya, this is Lexi." He introduced pointing to the pink-haired girl and further continued, "And she is Maddie." Pointing to the blonde girl who was at the same height as Lexi.

He took my hand and stepped forward to reach closer to the boys. "This is David" He pointed to a tall brunette guy who was sitting on the chair with his feet resting on the table, "And lastly, this is Andy." He concluded after pointing to the petite-sized blonde guy who applauded. 

I just smiled awkwardly at all of them and they must have sensed it. I just made a bitchy first impression on them, which I didn't mean to, and I didn't know how I was supposed to act around them now.

The two girls now made a tapping noise on the ground with their pointed heels as they approached closer towards me.

"She's one of our bitches now. Nobody dares to touch her from now on." Lexi smirked and Maddie nodded in agreement.

"Don't mind Lexi. She loves to call her people bitches and dickheads." David acquainted as he moved towards Shawn and Lexi pouted.

"She can be my gaming buddy. No no, wait! She can be my food buddy!" Andy jumped in excitement. I suppose he was the goofy one among the group.

"We are all your people from now on," Shawn said and the group agreed in unison.

"I-uh..." I stammered, unsure of how to respond.

My... People? I didn't know if I should feel happy or overwhelmed. I never had anyone who I can call 'my people'. 

That was until I met Shawn and my life slowly turned upside down. I felt a constant nagging from my subconscious that I might end up getting hurt, once again, and that part of me was holding me back from agreeing to it but at the same time, another part of me wanted to jump out in passion and squeal and tell them that it's the only thing that I had ever wanted. 

But this time, I wasn't going to hold myself back. I just for once didn't want to listen and overpower my mind over my heart. I just for once wanted to feel like a normal teenager and not carry the baggage I've been holding my entire life.

"I would... like that, yeah." I somehow managed to form the sentence and gave them a weak yet genuine smile.

We soon started talking about anything and everything and to my surprise, we just... vibed. I actually felt a little better than I thought. I was right. They were going to be trouble.

Hey guys, I hope you're all doing good.
This chapter honestly took me almost three days to complete and it was one of the most difficult chapters I've written so far.

A lot of you might have focused on chapter 2 where Veronica mentions an ex named Char...but Maya interrupts her and many of you asked me why she did that and what's the story behind it so here it is.

This chapter was actually a little more difficult to write than I thought because I've known a lot of people who faced it and it was kind of difficult to showcase that feeling into words but I tried my best. Also, I just wanted to say this to even a single reader who might have had the same experience as this is "Just never give in until you're fully ready and not just do it for the sake of making your significant one happy. It is okay to not be ready."

Drop me your thoughts on this chapter.

And feel free to vote and...

I'll see you guys soon.
Stay tuned♡.

~Loveya~( ˘ ³˘)♥