One Month later
Ishita stood waiting excitedly at the airport that Saturday morning. Raman was coming back today, as he had twice every week for the past four weeks. But today was extra special, for today, he was bringing Ruhi and Adi with him.

They had made a lot of progress in the past month. Enough for her to know that they could make it work, enough for her to know that they could be together again.

They had had attended counseling regularly. Both accepted their faults in the whole sorry saga that had led to their parting, and both had realised just how close they had come to losing each other for ever. They had recognized their greatest failings - their failure to communicate, and how they let their overwhelming need to protect the other lead to keeping secrets from each other. They knew that their failings harked back to a need to have control of their destinies , and was the result of the rejections and disappointments they had suffered earlier in their lives.

Knowing was one thing, acting on it another, and they knew that they would need to work long and hard to change themselves. But still, they had made a start.

They were being more open about vocalizing their needs, about sharing their feelings.

She had told him how much his excessive drinking hurt her, how much it pained her to see him give in to his weaknesses in that manner. She had cried out about the hurt she felt when he insulted her in front of others, never giving her the benefit of the doubt.

He had told her how he felt about the fact that she put everything and everyone before him and their intimacy - how rejected he felt when every move he made toward her was knocked back.

She told him of the way her heart broke when she was pushed out of the house for every imagined slight.

He told her how his heart broke when she trusted strangers over him.

So each had spoken, and the other had listened. He had moved her out of the Guest House, had rented  a modern two bedroom apartment for her close to her clinic. And there they had spent their time together, still hesitant, still tentative, but making inroads into a better understanding of each other, and able to do so in privacy, without intrusions, without needing to always be careful about the reactions of relatives and third parties.

She missed her children, but otherwise she enjoyed her time on her own. She liked not having to constantly be at everyone's beck and call, to have the time to read, to reflect. But even though she enjoyed her time alone, she had to admit that she looked forward with a growing need to the days when he was with her.

She had kept to her rules. She did not want their overpowering passion to blind them to the cracks in their marriage, to gloss over those things that weren't quite so as perfect as their physical union always had been. So she had slept alone, even when he was home with her. Still, she hadn't been able to keep completely aloof from him.

She remembered how, a week ago, she had finally given in to her heart, and had allowed him to kiss her.

***********************************
*Flashback starts*

He had arrived in Simla when she had still been at work, and she had come home to find the central heating on, the room toasty warm, and the delicious smell of upma wafting from the kitchen.

She was delighted to see him in the kitchen, grateful that his appetite seemed to be coming back in leaps and bounds. The upma hadn't been bad either, and they had laughed together as they shared their meal, remembering the time early in their married lives when they had been locked alone at home, and he had made upma at her direction after her finger had been cut.

Recollecting that dinner had led to their recollecting its aftermath too, when they had become entangled in some curtains and had had to lie in each other's arms until papaji, mummyji and the others had come home and had freed them.

They were still laughing together about the memory even after the dishes had been washed and they were ready for bed, sitting together companionably in their nightgowns in the living room.

"You jumped on the bed Raman, yaad karo. Uss chor ke saath. All because of a cockroach. Aur phir parde mein aa kar gir gaye." Ishita giggled softly.
(You jumped on the bed Raman, remember? With that burglar. All because of a cockroach. And then we ended up in the curtains)

Raman looked at her, his heart soaring that the wife he had thought he had lost forever was safe with him, was laughing with him. He looked at her and grinned sheepishly.

"Ek baat bataoon madrassan" He said softly. (Can I tell you something madrassan)

"Kya" she whispered. (What?) It was hardly an endearment, but it meant more than all the endearments in the world to his madrassan.

Raman leaned forward "Uss raat, jab hum parde mein ulajh gaye theh...." (That night when we got entangled in the curtains....)

"Haan, toh?" ( Yes, so?)

"Mein uljha nahi tha" ( I wasn't trapped)

"Kya matlab Raman?" ( What do you mean Raman?)

"I wasn't trapped Ishita. I could have easily freed myself, freed us"

"Phir kyun....." ( Then why?)

"Because it just felt so good. Being that close to you. You looked so beautiful that night. You took my breath away. Mein tumse dur nahi hona chahta tha. Uss waqt wajah pata nahi tha, bas ehsaas tha." (I didn't want to be apart from you. I didn't know the reason why then, I just felt it)

He had been moving closer to her, leaning in, as he spoke, and his face was now mere inches from hers. Their bodies had somehow become angled towards each other, and they had caught up their hands, their fingers entwining. She had been dating her husband for three weeks now, and she knew that they had made enough progress not to get blinded by passion. They would still need to take things slow, but she wanted what he wanted too. Surely a kiss was permissible.

She tilted her head up, looking deep into his laughing eyes, and the smile died on his face, the laughter replaced by a darker, warmer emotion.

"You're so bad Raman" she whispered, as he dipped his head, one hand leaving hers to cup her face. She saw the question in his eyes, and she answered him with hers.

Then his lips were on hers, as he sweetly and gently reacquainted her with his touch. It was like a first kiss, Ishita thought in wonderment, sweet, a little unsure, a little unsteady. The passion was there, but it was banked up, hidden and restrained. This was merely a re-introduction to each other, a gentle re-awakening. Her hands had snaked around his neck, her fingers nestling in his hair, and she had kissed him back, wondering again at how magically they fit, at where noses went, and how tongues fitted.

They were both breathless when they drew apart, and afterwards they had stayed in each other's arms for a long time, holding each other close. It was then that Ishita had told him she wanted to see her children.

"But no one else Raman" she had whispered. "I'm not ready for anything else yet. I just want to see my babies."

"Yes meri jaan" he had assured her, knowing that this was another step in her return to him, his heart soaring at the realization. "I'll bring your babies over on Saturday."

*Flashback ends*

*************************************

"Ishima" Ishima"

She was wrenched back from her recollections by the sounds of her children's voices, and she dropped to her knees as they approached, rushing towards her from the arrivals gate, running in front of their father.

She gathered them both into her arms, rocking them back and forth, her voice breaking as she held them close, pressing kisses over their eager happy faces.

"Ruhi, Adi.....I'm so sorry betu ... I missed you both so much....my babies."

Raman had stood back for a while, watching this happy tableau with tears smarting in his own eyes, but then he had finally come up to them, had helped her to her feet, picked up Ruhi and then gathered them all within his embrace. They had stood there like that for long moments, the children's excited voices mingling with their mothers tears and their fathers contented smile.

******************************************
From the airport, they had gone to the apartment first and had dropped off the overnight bags that Simi had packed for the children. She had made preparations for lunch before leaving home that morning, and she watched with tears now as her children ate the parathas she quickly fried on the girdle, relishing the taste of their mothers cooking.

They were both full of stories to tell her, with no recriminations about the time spent apart.

Although she had been speaking to them every day of her absence, she knew she had done wrong by them, by leaving them behind. But her children had already been spoken to by their papa - he had assured them of her love, had told them that he alone was responsible for their mother not being with them, and that their grievance should be with him.

They told her of all the things they had done with papa - how he had helped them with their homework whenever he was at home, had gone to their parent teacher meetings, had taken them for drives, and for ice-cream.

"Sirf week mein 2 days nahi rehte theh, lekin aap ke saath theh, so it's okay" (Its just that he wasn't at home two days every week, but he was with you so that's okay) Adi had told her with a smile, and she had swallowed a lump in her throat, wondering again at how grown up her son had become. She pressed a kiss on his head and tried to place yet another paratha on his plate.

"Ishima" Adi said hesitatingly now, putting his hands over his plate and blocking her attempts to feed him more. "Paati said to give you her love, thata too."

Ishita looked down at her hands, her smile fading. "Accha" she said quietly. "Mein .. mein tumhara milkshake laati hoon." ( Okay, I....I"ll get your milkshake) She moved quickly into the kitchen, not wanting her children to see the tears that threatened at the mention of her parents.

Raman, who had been supervising Ruhi's lunch, saw the stricken look on Ishita's face and the guilty look on Adi's and motioned to his son to continue eating. He stood up, ruffling the hair of his oblivious daughter, happily munching her buttery paratha, and walked into the kitchen behind his wife.

She was standing at the sink, pouring milk into the blender, trying to stem the unwelcome tears which chased one another down her cheeks.

"Ishita, you forgave me, can't you forgive them too?" Raman spoke softly, not wanting Ruhi or Adi to overhear their conversation.

For the past month, while Raman had been coming over to see her regularly, he had not told anyone at home that he had found her, or that they were attempting to reconcile  and rebuild their lives. Of course they must have all suspected that something was amiss. Or rather, that something that had been amiss was now right. He had lost his haunted look, had started to eat, his face had lost his gauntness, and as promised to his wife, he had cut down on his drinking. When asked, he told his family that he had started something new , and would be going out of the city regularly for a while.

But two days ago, when he had told his children that he would be taking them to see their mother, the cat had been let out of the bag. He could not expect Adi and Ruhi to keep such a secret, and he did not ask them to. Even if he had, the sheer joy on his children's faces, when they found out that their papa would take them to their mother, would have given away every hidden truth.

The entire family had been delighted with the news, although both mummyji and amma had hung their heads, embarrassed at how they had thrown Ishita out, had not listened to her pleas to be allowed to see her husband, her heart wrenching cries that she had done it for him, to save him. They had asked Raman to bring her back home, had told him they would apologize, that their family was incomplete without her. He had said nothing - he wanted nothing more than to have his wife back with him, but the time of her return had to be of her own choosing.

Now, as he watched her fighting back her tears at her parents message, he wanted her to start thinking about going back home.

"There's less than a month to go for your contract here Ishita" He moved behind her, his hands pressing her shoulders, softly massaging, and she leaned back against him, letting her tears flow. " You will come back home with me, won't you? You have forgiven me, haven't you?"

"Yes" she whispered. "Yes"

"Phir unsab ko bhi maaf kardo Ishita. Woh bhi pyar karte hai tumse. Tumhaare bina humsab ki zindagi adhoori hai. Naaraz mat raho meri jaan."
(Then forgive everyone else too Ishita. They love you too. All our lives are incomplete without you. Don't stay angry, my love)

"Mein kisi se naraaz nahi hoon Raman" she cried softly as she turned around in his arms, letting him embrace her protectively. "Maafi unko nahi mujhe mangana chahiye. Sab ko bahut sara dard diya tha mein ne. Lekin Raman, mujhe ab lagta hai ki woh mera ghar nahi hai, jahan se koi bhi, kabhi bhi, mujhe dhakkhe maar kar nikal de. Meri galtiyaan par woh koi bhi sazaa de, lekin is tarah mujhe paraya kyun kardete hai? Jahan par mujhko har kisi ki parwah hoti hai, lekin mujhe koi nahi samajtha. Mujhe naraazgi nahi hai, mujhe sirf darr lagta hai, aisi jagah wapas jaane se."
(I'm not angry with anyone Raman. They are the ones who need to forgive me, I hurt everyone so much. But Raman, I just don't feel like that place is my home. If anyone, at any time, can kick me out, then how is that my home? They can give me any punishment for my mistakes, but why do they treat me as though I'm a stranger? If I have to care for everyone and yet no one has to try to understand me, then how is that my home? I'm not angry, I'm just scared of going back to a place like that)

He tightened his arms around her, murmuring reassuringly, wondering just what he could do to negate her fears, to make her feel secure. His grievance had been with her - when he had found her, when she had forgiven him, and he had been able to forgive himself, his world had tilted back on its axis, and he was whole again. But she had been hurt not just by him, but by the entire family, by years of being treated as though she was unworthy. Her journey back would need more than just his reassurance, but what.....

"Ishima" a voice piped up from the living room, and she pulled out of his embrace hurriedly. "Milkshaaaaaaaake."

"Coming beta" she moved away and started hurriedly assembling the drink, as her husband stared at her thoughtfully, an idea forming in his mind. Maybe, just maybe, there was a solution. He would think of that later though. Today was their day with the children, today was for fun.

********************************************
And fun they had had.

They drove to the hills, snug in the warm fleece jackets she had bought for everyone. They played in the snow until exhausted, visited a lodge for hot chocolate and cookies to warm up and had then returned to town, to see a movie of Ruhi's choice, playing at an old single screen cinema. The cinema was almost as cold as the snow clad hills, and they sat snuggled close together, Adi grumbling at the pixies and fairies his little sister stared enthralled at, but then smiling over her head at his mother and father, as they looked on proudly at him.

Finally it had been back to home, dinner together, and then Raman and Ishita had tucked their sleepy children into bed. Adi in a room by himself, Ruhi insisting she wanted to sleep with her parents. And so finally, after a month apart, they had climbed into the same bed, holding their little daughter between them, their hands clasped across her warm form.

They had agreed that Raman would bring the children back the following weekend, when their school holidays started, and they would stay with her for the two weeks of the holiday. Then ..... then her contract here would be over , and she would be free to return to Delhi with them. To return home....

Ruhi had fallen asleep talking about all the things she wanted to do in her holidays, and Ishita gazed at her tenderly now, her eyes filled with love. She tightened her grip on her husband's hand, and he stroked her fingers gently.

"Raman" she whispered, not wanting to disturb her tired little fireball. "I'll come back home with them when school starts. I can't....I'm still confused over some things, but I need to be with them."

"And me?" He asked hopefully.

"Yes" she said. " And you."

"I'll come back on Wednesday" he told her, smiling lovingly at her. "One final date alone, before these two come and take up all your time."

She smiled back at him, a soft blush coloring her cheeks. She knew what he meant, and she agreed with him. They had come a long way - it was time to piece together the final part of the puzzle, before returning to Delhi.

Tere ankhon ke sahaare mein khwab dekhoon saare
Ab lamha lamha guzre tere palkon ki sahaare
Pehle tha mein tanha mein tha awaara lamha
Ab tham gayi tujh me duniya meri
Tham gaye nazaare

Tujhse dur jo hota hoon
Tukdha tukdha sota hoon
Ankhon mein pirouta hoon ...mein raatein
Tujhse dur jo hota hoon
Khudko jaise khota hoon
Honthoon se sanjauta hoon teri baatein

Tujhme hi ab saas chalegi
Tujhme hi dhadhkan dhadkegi
Tu hi ab toh paas rahegi paas rahegi dil ke
Raatein na hongi tere bin
Na honge ab mere yeh din
Waqt chalega mera tujhko milke

Tujhse dur jo hota hoon
Tukdha tukdha sota hoon
Ankhon mein pirouta hoon ...mein raatein
Tujhse dur jo hota hoon
Khudko jaise khota hoon
Honthoon se sanjauta hoon teri baatein

Aaja behjaa, gallan kariye
Dil 'ch apne pyaar bhariye
Dejaa lejaa mera dil, deja
Aaja behjaa, gallan kariye

Tujhse dur jo hota hoon
Tukdha tukdha sota hoon
Ankhon mein pirouta hoon ...mein raatein
Tujhse dur jo hota hoon
Khudko jaise khota hoon
Honthoon se sanjauta hoon teri baatein

Tujhse dur jo hota hoon
Tukdha tukdha sota hoon
Ankhon mein pirouta hoon, pirouta hoon mein raatein

Aaja behjaa, gallan kariye
Dil 'ch apne pyaar bhariye
Dejaa lejaa mera dil, deja
Aaja behjaa, gallan kariye