Chapter Sixteen
The Funeral
Grace Cullen-Swan

Numb.

That was all that was left after exhausting every other emotion. An eerie, unsettling numbness that left me catatonic in the most extreme form.

"Can she hear us?" Esme asked softly, brushing some stray strands of hair away from my face from where she sat next to my hospital bed.

"I'm not sure." Carlisle sighed, crouching down beside me and blocking my view out of the window as he shined light into my eyes.

In an effort to stage Charlie's death, Carlisle decided to admit me to the hospital under the pretense of Charlie and I getting lost while on a difficult hike together. For the cover story, Carlisle had become worried when I hadn't picked up Elizabeth on time and so he had gone out to look for us. He found me frozen and injured on the trail with no sign of Charlie.

I couldn't remember how long I had been here, it couldn't have been more than a few hours since I was standing in that godforsaken field, however, it felt like an eternity ago.

"Grace? Sister? Can you hear me?" My sweet brother asked me gently, but I couldn't gather the energy to move. "I'll have to fake a breathing tube. She's not even breathing anymore."

"Or blinking for that matter." Esme frowned worriedly.

"Dad?" I heard Rosalie's voice as she entered the room and shut the door behind her. "We found some more of Charlie." She sighed heavily.

"Some?" Carlisle picked up on the key word, his face morphing into a quiet mask of terror.

"A leg." Rosalie responded grimly and a sobbing noise escaped my throat. "And a lot more blood."

"Where?" Carlisle asked, trying to keep himself from dry heaving as he ran his hands over my arm in an effort to soothe me.

"Not too far from the campsite. Way up in the trails." She replied.

"Okay." He nodded to collect himself. "We'll tell the officers in the search party that Charlie might've gotten confused in his effort to find help for Grace. We'll tell them that trail has some trees that look like some on our property. Delusion tricks people into doing some questionable things." He directed quickly. "I'll step out and call-"

"No, stay with your sister." Esme ordered him. "I'll go call everyone." She promised as she stood and ushered him into her seat before leaving the room.

"I'm so sorry, sister." Carlisle frowned painfully at me. "I can't imagine the amount of torture you must be in. But, I'm here for you. I won't leave your side." He swore to me, taking one of my hands in his tightly.

"C-Can we come in?" Bella's voice asked tearfully as she and Edward entered the room with Elizabeth.

"Of course, Bella." Carlisle nodded, quickly getting up and offering her the chair.

"Mom." She cried, her voice sounding painfully hoarse, as she came to sit next to me. "She looks de-" she stopped herself before saying the word and shook her head as she reached out to hold onto me.

"She's in shock. The loss of one's mate is a horrific experience, clearly." Carlisle sighed, placing a hand on Bella's shoulder.

"You were strong for me when I needed it and so I'l be strong for you now." She swore to me, her fathers brown eyes tormenting me as she stared into my soul. "Edward and I will take care of Elizabeth. Don't worry about anything."

I wanted to reach out and hold her. I wanted to cry and scream and apologize for taking her father from her. The only man that had ever loved her unconditionally every moment of her life, her greatest companion, was dead because of me and here she was acting like I'm an injured saint. It sickened me to see her cry and worry over me when she should be reviling me as a monster of the worst sorts.

"Bella, you should know...Rosalie and Emmett found a trace of Charlie a little ways away from the campsite on the trails. The police are going to find it and more than likely declare him dead from a wild animal attack." Carlisle spoke to her softly.

"A trace?" She questioned him. "What did they find?"

"One of his legs." Carlisle frowned grimly.

"Is there any chance that the Volturi just wants us to think he's gone? Maybe-"

"Bella." Carlisle cut her off with a heavy sigh. "If the Volturi were in fact orchestrating such a plan, with or without the intent to change him, no one could survive the change with the loss of such a major appendage. Maybe with applied pressure and a proper tourniquet, it would be possible to live long enough to survive surgery but not the change. I'm so sorry, Bella." He explained and more sobs wrenched through me.

"How long does she have to stay here?" Edward asked, handing Elizabeth to Carlisle as he came to sit on the bed and comfort me. "She should be at home so she can grieve properly."

"I agree, but it's necessary to avoid suspicion. She'll understand, I'm sure." Carlisle replied. "I'll most likely keep her under observation until the funeral, if she can make it through such an event, before taking her home. You both should go home, you've had a heavy loss today too. Rest while you can." He added, showing the three of them out of the room.

Time was moving at an odd pace to me, I felt like I had merely blinked one moment and the next Esme was helping me into a black dress and coat for Charlies' funeral. After getting dressed, I had managed to force myself to sit on the side bed, knowing that I was about to have to put on possibly the greatest performance of my life sitting through the funeral of my husband without having a massive breakdown, but regardless of how strong I was trying to be I struggled to put on my black high heels. A bad sign all around.

"Sister." Carlisle smiled weakly at me as he entered the room. "You're looking better." He praised.

"Makeup." Esme interjected. "The circles under her eyes would make people think she's wasting away."

"I suppose we can't let them think that, now can we?" Carlisle shook his head. "Are you both ready to go?" He asked.

I forced myself to stand, it was an awkward and painful movement, but at least I was trying. Carlisle immediately rushed to support me as I began to sway on my feet.

"It's a start." He nodded proudly at me when I looked at him in discomfort. "We need to leave now." He told me softly, leading me from the hospital room as Esme followed behind us with my things and a wheelchair in case I collapsed.

As we entered the main lobby, a crowd of officers were there to greet us solemnly. I had forgotten that I was now the widow of the youngest and the greatest police chief Forks had ever had.

"They're here to give us an escort." Carlisle explained, shushing me I soon realized, as quiet sobs began to leave my mouth unconsciously.

After getting me out to his car, Carlisle drove Esme and I through town with the police escort both in front of and behind his car. It seemed small towns always tended to use gymnasium auditoriums for deaths where they expected a large number to come and grieve, and Charlie was no exception. I scowled as we parked near the gym doors.

"Sister, why do you look so angry?" Carlisle asked me softly, turning in his seat to face me.

"This town that did nothing but talk badly of us and murmur every rumor it could think of suddenly has the audacity to come and mourn what a great person he was? As if they all weren't just against him a week ago?" I muttered weakly. "Pathetic."

"I agree." Carlisle nodded. "But that's not what funerals are about. Charlie deserves to be remembered and thanked by this town one last time." He assured me before climbing from the car and coming to open my door.

As he led me inside the gym overcrowded with flowers and banners and flags, I felt myself becoming overwhelmed. Our family were in seats on the front row and I steeled my expression as we neared them all.

"Mom." Bella cried as she hugged me tightly.

"Bella." I sobbed in return, hugging her just as tight. "I'm so sorry." I swore to her, willing my gift to keep tears from falling down my face.

"No. This is not your fault." She told me firmly, pulling away to look me in my eyes, and I flinched at seeing Charlie's brown eyes.

"What? Do I look that bad?" She asked me worriedly.

"You're beautiful." I shook my head, keeping my eyes shut tight. "It's your eyes." I practically whispered in an effort to keep myself from crying. "Oh, I'm exhausted." I lost it as uncontrollable tears started falling down my face.

"Sister." Carlisle cooed, taking the empty seat beside me and beginning to wipe the tears away.

"Elizabeth." I shook my head, pushing his hands away gently. "I want Elizabeth."

"Here." Edward crouched in front of me as he carefully handed her to me. "She's been asking for you non-stop." He spoke quietly to avoid the humans entering the room overhearing is.

She immediately snuggled her face into the crook of my neck and settled down in my arms before falling asleep soundly.

"So both of my girls are sleepless and grieving." I sighed heavily, loving the feeling of having my baby back in my arms. In the chaos of my grief I had forgotten how much I was missing my family.

The auditorium filled up quickly and the service began right on time. I kept my eyes fixed on the casket the entire time. I wondered what Carlisle and Esme had decided to do in my absence. I wondered if there was a singular leg residing within or if it was merely for show and an urn of ashes would be waiting at the house.

Not being able to stomach the preachers speech about service and loss, I tuned out entirely, that is, until Carlisle stood and went to the podium.

"From the moment I met Charlie, I liked him." Carlisle began in his most soothing tone. "We had a strong mutual respect for each other's professions and a shared work ethic in common. As my sister and Charlie began to date, and as I got to know more about him, I realized there was so much to the thoughtful person that was Charlie Swan. There was so much more that we had in common. Most importantly, we both had a devoted love for our families that only grew as Charlie and Grace married and brought Elizabeth into this world. I'm sure many of you thought Charlie to be a quiet contemplative police chief that spent most of his life serving this community the best he possibly could. Which, you would be correct. But, there was so much more to him than that. He was sarcastic, witty, and so intelligent that he managed to surprise us all constantly with his knowledge. He was a devoted father, husband, friend, ...and brother. A brother am I very sad to be losing so tragically soon. This town has lost its most valuable asset, but our family has lost its pillar of strength." He concluded, meeting my eyes with a heartbreakingly sad expression as he swiped at the tears I had unconsciously caused to run down his face.

As he took his seat beside me and bundled me up into his arms tightly, I realized I had thick tears running down my face and didn't have the strength left to cease them. As the service concluded, Carlisle kept me in his steady arms the entire time, allowing me to grieve in his protective bubble.

In the now very familiar blurring of time, I went from sitting there in Carlisle's arms to sitting by the fireplace in the living room with Elizabeth sleeping in my arms.

"Are you both doing alright?" Esme was suddenly cooing from the doorway. "Does she need a bottle or anything? Edward gave her one right before the funeral."

"Oh." I startled a little, surprised by my new surroundings. "No, I think she's fine. She's exhausted."

"So are you." Esme countered. "I could sit with her for a bit if you wanted to go hunt?"

"No." I shook my head. "Not thirsty."

"You look like you're starving." She sighed deeply, coming to sit in the chair opposite of me. "I know you're suffering deeply, but your kids still need you."

"Esme, I can't." I shook my head, feeling a crushing sensation gripping my ribcage.

"Okay." She cooed. "Just whenever you're ready then." She nodded, kissing my cheek before drifting out of the room.

She must've gone to get Carlisle, because a few moments later he was sitting next to me on the loveseat carefully petting Elizabeth's hair down fondly.

"She's just worried about you, we all are." He spoke softly.

"I know." I sighed deeply. "But I just can't right now. Maybe tomorrow."

"Okay." He nodded. "What did you think of the funeral?"

"I tuned out everything except your speech." I confessed quietly. "I thought what you said was very kind."

"It was all true." He shrugged uncharacteristically. "You know, I can't promise you that it will ever get any better. I can't promise that your pain and heartache will ease over time. I can't promise that you'll ever be yourself again. But I can promise you one very important thing."

"What's that?" I asked, feeling like I was about to cry again.

"That I will always be by your side to help you in any way I possibly can." He swore to me. "I love you so much, Sister."

"I love you too." I swore to him in return. "I just need some time."

"However long you need." He nodded, wrapping his arms around myself and Elizabeth in support.