Chapter Seventeen
Wedding Jitters
Grace Cullen-Swan

"Mom, that's ridiculous, I'm not moving from Forks." Bella stated soundly, jarring me and forcing my mind to tune back in to my surroundings.

I was still sitting in the living room, Elizabeth was no longer in my arms, and I had changed from my black dress into a set of silk pajamas. Everyone was gathered in the living room, all in different clothes than the funeral, and I was surprised to see that Renee was standing opposite Bella towards the doorways. I hadn't realized she had come for the funeral.

"I'm sorry, what's going on?" I asked, hating the angry look Renee was giving my daughter. "I've been a little absent minded lately." I frowned, that was far from the truth.

"Bella should move back to Phoenix for college. There's nothing here for her anymore. Alaska is much too far for a girl her age to be away from family." Renee turned on me with a spiteful look in her eyes.

"Bella will always have a home with me." I stood to my feet as waves of anger washed through me, the first real emotion besides loss I've felt since losing Charlie. "She is my daughter, shares blood with Elizabeth, and regardless if her father is alive or not she is and always will be mine. I will always love her, protect her, and strive to be the best mother I can possibly be to her. Just because Charlie-" I cringed at the sound of his name leaving my voice "is d-gone doesn't mean that I'm no longer invested in Bella's life."

"She's my daughter." Renee gaped at me. "I should have final decision here. You're just some fake stepmother. Go mother your own daughter." She shot at me.

"She's more of my daughter than yours and we both know that." I snapped at her quietly. "And she's a grown woman now. Yes, she's still young and needs guidance at times, but she's more than capable to decide on her own future. You might have given birth to her and struggled to raise her, but I have been there for her through the most trying times of her life with unconditional love. When she was depressed and comatose I was the one that pulled her through it and got her back on her feet. You didn't even call her, Renee! Surgery, depression, Elizabeth's birth, reconnecting with the Cullens, graduation, and so much more that you don't deserve to know about, I have been there without a sign from you! Don't tell me that you have superiority here just because she came from your womb!"

"I can't believe this." Renee shook her head. "This is the most insulting thing I've ever heard in my life. I can't-"

"She's right." Bella stepped in. "I always called you my best friend. You were never much of a mothering kind of person and we both know that. I had to be the responsible one between us. I've never connected with someone so much as I have with Grace. I honestly wouldn't be alive right now if it wasn't for her." She smiled at me and I refrained from cringing at the sight of Charlie's eyes. "So I'm staying here in Forks and I'm going to Alaska for school with my mom here in Forks to look after me." Bella stated firmly. "But before we move off...Edward and I are getting married." She revealed.

"Okay, that's it." Renee threw her hands into the air exasperated. "If you want to ruin your life, have fun. Have fun getting stuck married young with a baby by the time you're twenty just like I was. Maybe then you'll realize that I wasn't such a bad mother. Goodbye, Bella." She huffed before marching from the room and slamming the front door behind her.

"Well, that was exciting." Emmett chuckled.

"You're getting married?" I questioned Bella and Edward. "When did I miss that?"

"I asked her the night before the newborn confrontation." Edward replied.

"I said yes." Bella added. "I'm sorry we didn't tell you. There just hasn't been a good time." She sighed.

"I know." I nodded, sitting down carefully as my head began to spin.

"Are you mad?" Bella asked worriedly.

"No." I shook my head. "Normally, I think I would be due to you both still having issues to work through, but I can't find myself to be anything but a little relieved right now." I sighed.

"Relieved?" Bella gaped at me. "Why?"

"Because I can't lose you too." I cried, tears beginning to run down my face. "I know I voted undecided before, but I'm changing my vote. I've already lost my mate because I was too concerned about what this stupid town might think. I will not lose my daughter because of a ridiculous moral debate over her soul." I spoke firmly.

"Then everything's settled." Alice chirped. "Wedding planning is already mostly completed. Now to start ordering! I have the perfect dress in mind for you Bella. And for bridesmaids I was thinking-"

I tuned out then, and time slipped back into the now very familiar blurry pattern I had been experiencing since losing Charlie.

Elizabeth, hunting, showering, crying in bed, up at three a.m. with a crying Elizabeth, bottles, diapers, hunting, sitting and looking out the window while soothing a crying Bella, Carlisle's arms around me. Everything came in snippets of images and unconscious movements and thoughts.

It seemed that Bella told me of her engagement one day, and the next Alice was forcing me into my bridesmaid dress, although I knew it had to have been several weeks.

Alice designed dresses for each of us girls in styles similar to the time periods we were changed in. Alice's resembled a flapper from the 20's while Rosalie's was reminiscent of a debutante from the same era. Esme's was more modest with a frilled skirt and bejeweled bodice. My dress resembled the cavalier dresses from my youth but in a more modern fit to go with the other girls. They were all varying shades of purple, mine being a dark plum that reminded me of the wine stained fabrics that were so popular during that time.

"You know I was forbidden to wear this style as a human, right?" I asked Alice, balancing Elizabeth on my hip as I played with hair options using my gift.

"No, I didn't." She answered as she fastened her adorable heels. "Carlisle said it was a popular style for your class."

"Yes, but I was a preachers daughter and a church worker." I countered. "I wore much more covering dresses."

"More covering? Than that?" She laughed at me. "I'm going to have to spend all day telling people that you're wearing a more covering dress than the rest of us because you're still getting into shape after having Elizabeth." She teased me.

"Funny girl." I smiled as much as I could.

"I appreciate the attempted smile, but that was a little sad." Alice frowned at me. "Are you sure you're okay enough to do this? No one would fault you for staying in bed today."

"I'm not missing my kids wedding." I shook my head. "Besides, everyone would wonder why I was absent."

"Okay." She nodded. "It's time to go get Bella ready. Are you ready?"

"Yes, let's go." I nodded, picking up the letter I had for Bella off of my vanity before following after Alice.

"Happy wedding day!" Alice cheered as we entered her bedroom, where Bella sat taking deep breaths at the vanity. "Are you excited?"

"Nervous, mostly." She replied. "You three look so beautiful." She smiled, reaching over to play with the lace on Elizabeth's lilac colored dress.

"Here." I passed Elizabeth to Bella and she instantly relaxed. "Also, I think you should read this before Alice starts your makeup." I told her, handing her the sealed envelope.

"What's this?" She asked me, putting Elizabeth in her lap as she tore open the seal.

"A letter from your dad." I told her, and her fathers brown eyes looked at me in a stunned expression. "He told me about it shortly before our wedding. He wanted to make sure I knew to give it to you. He wrote it when you were a baby." I explained and she hesitantly opened it and began to read his handwriting.

Although I was tempted to, I refrained from looking over Bella's shoulder to see what he had written. I knew that would only make the pain worse. I had gone to great lengths to avoid anything that would trigger painful emotions. I was staying at the Cullen house, had taken down any pictures with him in them, and had washed the smell of his blood out of his wedding ring that was now on a chain around my throat.

I did Bella's hair while Alice got her dress ready. As I worked, I kept careful eyes on Bella's reactions in the mirror. She was surprised at some things, moved by others, and by the end of the two page letter she was crying thick heavy tears soundlessly.

"I'm sorry if it upset you, Bella." I sighed as I put the last bobby pin in place. "I just wanted you to have a few pieces of him today. I know he would've loved to have been here."

"You didn't upset me." She shook her head. "I needed this." She promised me. "He thought he would've died in the field. He thought I would've never gotten to really know him with us being so far apart. He wanted to tell me just how much he really loved me." She sniffed, dabbing a tissue at her face.

"He loved you so much, Bella." I swore to her. "Have I ever told you about the night of the van incident at the school?" I asked her.

"No." She shook her head. "What happened?" She asked, wrapping her arms around Elizabeth in a sweet hug.

"I snuck into your dads room and found him sobbing while sitting on the the side of his bed." I told her and her eyes widened in shock. "He was devastated at the idea of having to organize your funeral. He cried while he told me how scared he was for you and that he didn't want to but he had to send you back to Phoenix."

"Phoenix?" She worried.

"He hated to be putting you in danger of both vampires and random accidents." I explained. "He knew you got his stubborn streak though, so he also knew he couldn't make you get on a plane if it wasn't your idea." I smiled softly at the memories of Charlies frustration over her stubborn streak. "He was so distraught over losing you when he was just getting to really know the wonderful woman you were becoming. Bella, everything your father did was always in your best interest. He loved you more than his own life. You have to know how special you are, to the both of us." I cooed.

"I do." She nodded, dabbing more tears away. "I love you, Grace. Thank you for not leaving alone in this." She told me, hugging me tightly.

"I love you too, sweet Bella." I cooed as I hugged her tightly in return, careful not to squish the baby in her lap. "Thank you for being patient with me. I'm trying."

"I know." She nodded, playing with Elizabeth's copper curls. "I'm so proud of you." She smiled at me and I couldn't help but kiss her cheek in thanks.

"Okay! Makeup time!" Alice clapped as she joined us, spinning Elizabeth playfully as she picked her up off of Bella's lap and put her back in my arms. "Sorry, Liz. I need all the space I can get here with those bags under Bella's eyes." Alice teased Bella playfully.

Elizabeth let out one of her delightful giggles as she grabbed at Alice. After I lent in so Elizabeth could touch her cheek, Alice sucked in a deep breath as she watched whatever Elizabeth was showing her. 

"Yes, I quite agree." Alice laughed at her. 

"What did she say?" Bella asked in awe.

"That you look so much prettier without the blue circles under your eyes." Alice relayed. "But she said she still loves you either way." Alice added, tickling Elizabeth's foot and getting her to laugh again.

"Sorry, bad dreams." Bella frowned. "I kept thinking about that empty bedroom across the hall." She sighed deeply.

"Maybe you should go see about the boys?" Alice turned to me. "Don't worry, I know what to say." She whispered quietly, motioning to the now stressed looking Bella.

"Okay." I nodded. "I'll be back before you get her in her dress." I told her before securing Elizabeth in my arms and going downstairs to Carlisle and Esme's bedroom where the boys were secluded.

"Hey, no girls allowed!" Emmett quipped playfully as he spun me and kissed both mine and Elizabeth's cheeks.

"Alice sent me down here to see how you all were holding up." I explained. "I think she needed a minuet alone with Bella."

"Is she still a bundle of nerves?" Carlisle asked me as he struggled to perfect Jasper's tie.

"Worse, I think." I sighed. "Charlie left a letter for her wedding day and I think it may have hurt more than helped."

"A letter?" Carlisle questioned with a sad, knowing look in his eyes. "Those are usually quite emotional, aren't they?"

"Yes, he wrote it when she was a baby in case something happened to him in the field." I explained. "Apparently it was quite a sweet letter, though I'm not surprised."

"She's been having some pretty horrific dreams involving him." Edward revealed, stepping out of the bathroom dressed in his tux.

"What kind of dreams?" I asked, knowing I might not want to hear the answer.

"Dreams of torture, mostly." He responded carefully but I couldn't help but cringe. "I think her denial is spurring them on. She seems to think the Volturi has him."

"Why wasn't I told about this?" I asked the room, borderline angry.

"You've been going through a lot, Mom." Edward sighed, putting an arm around me as he played with Elizabeth "I thought you wouldn't mind letting me handle some of the responsibilities. Soothing nightmares is the least I can do."

"Thank you." I told him, not knowing what else to say. "But if there's something going on in my daughters life I need to know about, I would appreciate being told. I may be going through a hard time, but so is she."

"I know, Mom. I'm sorry." Edward apologized, offering me a supportive hug.

"No, I'm sorry." I shook my head. "I'm bringing everyone's moods down on what's supposed to be the happiest day of your existence. I'm running my kids wedding."

"No, you're not." Edward chuckled, wrapping his other arm around me. "We're all just glad you're here. I promise." He squeezed me. "Can I have Elizabeth for a bit?" He asked me sweetly and I handed her off to him, earning another wonderful giggle from Elizabeth as she clung on to him.

"Okay, if everyone here is set, I'm going to go back up to the girls." I told the room before heading back upstairs to Alice's room.

As I entered, I was blown away at how perfect Bella looked. She was already beautiful to me, but Alice's natural makeup look had really highlighted her features and made her look ethereal.

"Oh Bella, you're so beautiful." I sobbed, feeling tears start to form in my eyes.

"Awe, Mom." Bella blushed. "Don't cry." She begged.

"These are happy tears, I swear." I shook my head.

"Okay, time for the dress!" Alice cheered as she dragged Bella into her walk-in closet to change.

After several yelps from Bella and some "stay stills" from Alice, Bella emerged from the closet in her custom made wedding dress looking every part of the perfect bride.

"Bella," I marveled, having to sit down at the vanity in my shock. "It's perfect." I swooned, in love with the dress. It was timeless, it looked as if Alice had found it back in the 1920's and kept for just this occasion. It was the perfect mixture of Edward and Bella.

"Do you have her other pieces?" Alice asked and I nodded as I handed her the small box I had placed on her vanity before getting ready this morning.

"Something old." I noted, watching Alice pin a cross broach from my youth that I wore on my wedding day to the bustle of Bella's skirt. "Something new." As Alice had Bella put on some diamond stud earrings that Carlisle and Esme gifted her for the wedding. "Something blue." I added while Alice pinned in Bella's grandmothers hairpin that I had added sapphires to. "And something borrowed." I told her as Alice tied a white band around Bella's arm and pinned Charlie's badge to it.

"It's perfect." Bella nodded. "Thank you." She smiled as she hugged me tightly.

"I thought you might need a little courage today." I told her as we pulled apart. "I didn't want you to feel like you were walking alone."

"Actually, I'm not going to walk alone." She shook her head.

"You're not?" Alice asked her worriedly in a borderline panic. "You're not getting married?"

"No, I am." Bella nodded. "I just don't want to walk down the aisle alone. I want you to walk me, Mom."

"Me?" I gasped. "Are you sure?"

"I wouldn't be alive right now if it wasn't for you pulling me through my depression and doing everything in your power to keep me alive through my pregnancy. If it wasn't for your choice to turn Edward, I wouldn't be getting married. Yes, I'd love for my dad to be by my side, but that's not possible. So, I can't imagine anyone else but you to be by my side right now. It makes sense for the woman that loved my dad and I the most to take his place today." She explained. "Will you walk me down the aisle, Mom?" She asked.

I couldn't process words, I could only run forward and wrap her into my arms tightly as emotions flooded through me. Love, mostly, with some underlying currents of guilt, anxiety, and sadness as I held her dearly.

"Is that a yes?" She asked me, giggling at my response.

"Yes." I snapped myself out of my daze. "Yes, of course I will sweet girl." I cooed as I made sure I hadn't wrinkled her dress or messed up her makeup. 

"Everyone's ready for you downstairs." Rosalie announced from the doorway. 

"Then let's go." Bella nodded, giving me an excited but anxious looking smile as I offered her my arm.