TRIGGER WARNING: SELFHARM
V
I woke up with headache, blurry vision, and ringing ears. I was staring at a grey ceiling, and it felt like I was on a bed. All of a sudden everything just rushed back to my head. This isn't my room. Did he kidnap me? Where am I. Did he hurt my parents? Did he hurt my friends? Why am I alive? Is he planning on killing me later? Questions ran through my head faster then I could mentally answer them.

"Good you're finally awake."

Jason.

"Get away from me! Where are we?"

"Christ be a bit nicer Ronnie, we're in a hotel room."

"I'm not your Ronnie."

"Funny because 3 months ago I remember differently."

"YOU TRIED TO KILL HUNDREDS OF INNOCENT STUDENTS."

"Oh calm down you and I both know they weren't innocent. Look, I brought you a sandwich since I thought you'd be hungry. See, I'm showing you I care."

"I'm not really hungry, but thanks I guess."

"You're weird." He said as he wrapped it back up and put it in the mini fridge.

"Are you going to kill me?" I genuinely wanted to know if I should be writing out my will or not.

"Course not V, we're going on an adventure."

~~~

I spent the rest of the day distancing myself from him. I was extremely angry at the prospect of being kidnapped, but I did miss him. No I can't like this this is sick. This is some bdsm shit and I'm not into that.

"You hungry yet?" He asked carefully. He knew I was angry. He knew that I was bound to be angry. Somewhere in that fucked up brain of his, he had a basic understanding of people's emotions.

"No."

~~~

He finally fell asleep. I decided to get up and look around. First I tried the room door. It was open. For some reason I couldn't leave though. I think that's why he left the door open and didn't restrain me. He knew I wouldn't leave, I wasn't strong enough. The hate I felt for him wasn't anything against the longing. But I missed my life desperately, and JD had left me with scars that would never heal. Scars on my body, and scars in my mind. It was those scars in my mind, that caused me to put more scars on my body. JD had told me earlier that he filled a bag with things he thought might be important. I started searching through the toiletry bag and found what I was looking for: my shaving razors. He packed my two, so went to the unused one and began to carefully dismantle it. After a little bit of work, I had 4 thin, flimsy blades. I never liked shaving razor blades, they break very easily.

Ever since I left Ohio I had started doing it, cutting, and burning. It made life less loud, if I could focus on letting go for a little bit. I pressed the blade lightly against my wrist. I rarely went for the wrist because the arms seem to reach more germs, equaling more chances to get an infection. I was running out of room on my thighs though and I wanted to go for the wrist. I could cut too deep and die, or i could cut normally and live, it's very weird what can happen with a slight change of pressure.

I pressed down more and then quickly ran the blade across my wrist. At first nothing, but then little beads of blood came up, and then the line became a little visible. It felt like I had been holding my breath, but had just let it out. I added a few more lines and then decided to stop and watch the blood. It stung a bit, but not enough to put me off. I finally decided to clean up my arm, and then once the bleeding stopped I rolled down my sleeve and went on my way.

JD was still asleep. It made sense considering it was around 2 in the morning. I looked over his face. The innocence in his sleeping face was weakening. I am fucking blind. I was falling for a monster, again. I looked down at my arm remembering the damage I'd done to myself. If he finds out he'll crucify me. I sighed and then went back to my bed, glad he got a room with two beds.

I'm fucked aren't I?