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Dear diary,

                      I saw that boy again today, he looked really cute! Hoseok hyung and Yoongi hyung said that I am 'gay' . What is gay? I asked appa and eomma but they just hit me and called me a freak as usual. They left me alone with jayla unnie and little cousin taehyungie, even though I'm only 7. I miss the cutie boy, I want to see him. He told me he liked my hair and I was so happy! I even turned pink? Oh. Eomma and appa are finally back! I'll write more at school!

-annyeong, Chimmy~ 🌟

[present jimin]

This memory played in my mind over and over. It could be seen as many things. The day I knew I might be gay, the day I talked to the 'cute boy' for the first time. Or even my personal favourite, the day my life was ruined.

[past jimin]

"wh-where is that failure? YAH JIMIN!"

I heard my dad shout from outside of my room before stumbling in. My mother following close behind. They smelt funny, I think they drank that  juice again. It makes them act all funny and hurt me. Last time, daddy touched my naughty place and he wouldn't stop. It really hurt so I told my teacher. I dont know where miss Moore went after that but I thought I heard her in the basement.

'good afternoon sir. How are you? What can I do for you?'

"hah! Its good to hear you acting like the slave you are! As for what you can do for me?..."

He unbuckled his belt and let his boxers down as well. He came close to my bed and pushed me down.

"how about you give me and your mum a little fun? Just like the last time? Or maybe harder for being a bad boy"

With one quick action, I was laying on my stomach with my trousers down. Mommy put her boobie in my face and said I should suck on it. Daddy put his pepper in me again like last time so I cried. But they only beat me harder.

------------------------- time skip  -------------------------

I sat on my bed with my head in my knees, crying because I was aching all over. Because I felt sick. Because they don't love me.

because i am weak.I am worthless. I am a toy. I have no one.

No. I have that cute boy. I have Hoseok hyung and Yoongi hyung. I have taehyungie and jayla. But most especially the boy.

[its a new day its a new dawn]

I think I will just ask the boy what gay is. He is really smart so he should know! I left with no breakfast and a slap instead of a kiss, from my parents, but its ok if I see that boy. He is like my hope. At school, we did multiplecakeshun before break. I sat next to the boy and he said hello to me. He doesn't talk a lot, so the conversation wasn't that interesting. Until,

'Hey jungie'

"Yes hyung?"

'What is gay?'

"What we are for eachother hyung."

'Eh?'

"Like a mommy and daddy but with two daddies and no mom"

'So what are we?'

"Gay lovers like a boyfriend"

'Oh... what do we do?'

"Mommy and daddy stuff. Kiss, cuddle, and maybe a baby"

'A baby?'

At home

'Appa I have a boyfriend now he can make me a baby not you.'

[present jimin]

I shivered remembering how that conversation ended. Me laying almost lifeless with blood and bruises all over. That was also the day they changed their torture techniques, seems they were too lazy to hurt me so thy opted to making me hurt myself. Guess it stuck.

"PARK HOW MANY GODANMED TIMES DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL YOU HUH? 2 HOURS DETENTION FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK!!"

'Thank you sir I can stay longer if you need? anything to get away from those monsters' I said the last part under my breath though. We don't need a repeat of miss Moore. 

"Oh really? In that case come early tomorrow to show around the new kid. And do some lesson planning after school and detention aswell. Sure your parents will allow it?"

I shuddered at the word. 

'Yes sir. Need anything else, anything at all?'

"Shut the hell up you whore"

Everyone instantly burst into laughter Jackson wang and mark tuan still wearing those smug grins on their faces. I absolutely despise them...then again I despise everyone. Maybe kookie a little less. But he abandoned me just like everyone else. No one really loves me. I have jayla, yoongi and hobi hyung but none of them really love me. I'm old enough to recognise the different types of love. Some of which I only felt with that boy. 

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Hi Felicia 

Buhbye juancock 🍥