Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.
Matthew 4:4

Johanna

I felt a sharp prick of sadness as I watched Melchour gently close the door behind him. Maybe it was the sudden hush that filled the room... or perhaps it was the way this room had been so silent for so long, and now the silence returned so swiftly, it almost felt like a slap. I couldn't deny that I had truly enjoyed his company, and I couldn't be more thankful for what he had done for me tonight. Thank goodness nothing serious had happened to him. But the quiet that followed his absence settled over me like a heavy, invisible blanket, wrapping me in a dull ache I didn't quite understand.

This day really has been filled with a lot of surprises. For the first time, even though I hadn't expected it, I sang for God today while leading worship. I'd never done anything in my life that gave me so much pure, unfiltered joy and deep fulfillment. There was nothing more breathtaking, more soul-stirring, than worshipping my Creator—my God—the One who loves me so unconditionally. And with each passing day, I found myself falling deeper in love with Him... my heart swelling with a sense of wonder I couldn't put into words.

As the clock struck 11, the bed's pull grew irresistible, as though it were calling me home to rest. But the moment I lay down, I found myself staring up at the ceiling instead, wide-eyed.

My word shall be your Bread

The preacher's words from earlier echoed again and again in my mind, soft but insistent, as though the very air around me was whispering them into my ears. My chest tightened. My, I really needed to get myself a Bible of my own.

The events of the day spun through my mind once more—unexpected worship leading, chance encounters with strangers, an unexpected street fight... and so many other twists I hadn't seen coming. It was as if ever since the day I'd accepted Christ as Lord and Savior, my world had become a whirlwind of change, every day a new chapter. I knew deep in my heart that this was only the beginning of a long journey... but I couldn't help hoping, silently and desperately, that the people I'd begun this journey with would still be by my side when I reached the end.

My thoughts wandered back to Melchour, replaying the day's events, my heart beginning to beat with an odd, nervous quickness. I hadn't expected him to be so kind, so gentle in his strength... and yet, at the same time, so rugged, so real.

The memory of the street fight earlier replayed vividly in my mind, the sounds of fists meeting flesh echoing in my ears. Never in my wildest thoughts had I imagined a man like him—a pastor, of all people—would get into a fistfight. I let out a tense, shuddering breath as I recalled the scene. It had felt as though I were watching an action movie unfold before my very eyes, except it was painfully real.

"Hm, and he's really handsome..." I heard myself whisper, the words slipping out into the silence of the night like a secret confession. My eyes widened in shock the moment I realized what I'd just said.

"Wait, what?" I whispered to myself in disbelief, my cheeks flushing hot. I shook my head frantically and coiled myself deeper under my blanket, hoping to bury the foolish thoughts away. "Gosh... crazy thought, crazy thought," I muttered, willing my mind to quiet down. Finally, sleep began to claim me, my last thought a whispered prayer.

Oh Lord... what is this feeling?

⸻

I lifted my bag onto my shoulder and headed for the door. It was already about seven in the morning, and I needed to catch the bus. I ran down the stairs quickly and made my way directly to the bus stop. Sure enough, after a few minutes of waiting, the bus finally arrived. I stepped inside, only to realize with a sigh that all the seats were occupied.

Hmm, looks like a lot of people are going somewhere early today. I gave a small shrug and looked around for a pole to hold on to. But just as I was about to reach out, the bus lurched forward suddenly.

In that split second, the law of inertia betrayed me. My eyes instinctively squeezed shut, bracing for the pain of hitting the floor, but instead... I felt warmth, steady and solid. When I opened my eyes, I found myself leaning against a man's arm.

My breath hitched. Slowly, I lifted my gaze, and embarrassment washed over me in a wave as I recognized the face.

This is not happening.

"Hi there..." I murmured, my voice cracking as I forced myself to speak.

"Uh, h-hi..." I stammered awkwardly, my cheeks blazing red.

Of all the things that could happen this beautiful morning, why this? I scrambled to stand up straight, my mind racing, trying to compose myself.

"Good morning, Anna," Melchour said, his grin wide and effortless, as though nothing at all had just happened. Oh—how I wished I had that kind of easy confidence! "Hey, what's with that face? Are you okay?" he asked, his voice warm and filled with concern.

"Uh, yeah, of course, I'm fine... I, uh, didn't know you actually rode the bus," I blurted.

"Yup, of course I do. I'm glad to see you here though. How was your night?"

"Oh, about that, I really couldn't sleep last night." Partly because of you, I almost added. "I think I should get a Bible of my own already. Do you think you can help me find one? I realized I might be the only Christian in the world who doesn't own a Bible," I added, half-laughing, half-cringing.

"Anna, you're not the only one... there are plenty of others in the same boat," he said with a soft chuckle, his voice brushing over me like a warm breeze. "That's good though. Yes, you should definitely get a Bible. If you want, I can take you to some stores and show you some good versions," he offered, his tone light but sincere. My heart lifted with a soft warmth.

"Yes! That would be perfect, Manung." I said with a shy smile, tapping his arm in gratitude. A few minutes later, we reached the next bus stop, and I couldn't help but notice the growing crowd outside. There must have been around thirty people waiting.

"They're going to the town plaza," I heard Melchour murmur, his voice low near my ear.

"Huh? Why? What's going on at the plaza?"

"There's a rally... against the city mayor. They say he's involved in a... drug syndicate or something. Didn't you hear the news?"

"Oh, I didn't have time last night and I was rushing this morning, so I didn't get a chance to turn on the news," I replied, my voice dropping a notch, feeling a little sheepish as we shifted to the edge of the bus to make room for the passengers piling in.

"Well, at least now you know. There's a lot going on in the world. Praise God we're not of the world, even though we live in it," he said softly, his words settling into me like a quiet truth.

"Huh? Do you mind explaining that, Pastor?" I asked, curiosity piquing even through the distraction.

"Oh, I, uh..." he started, but his reply was cut off as we both noticed the crowd pushing their way inside. We were already pressed to the very edge of the bus, but people kept coming in, as though space were infinite.

"What do these people plan to do, turn this bus into a can of sardines?" I whispered with a nervous laugh, stepping back, only to realize my feet had nowhere else to go. My heart thudded against my ribcage, the shrinking space making me acutely aware of the man in front of me.

"That I don't know, Anna, but, uh, you might want to brace yourself... five more are coming in," Melchour said, moving a step closer.

Five!?

My face heated. "Uh, yeah, but–" I kept my gaze fixed downward, feeling my cheeks flush hotter with each passing second. I could feel the closeness of his body, the warmth of his presence. I drew in a shaky breath, only to catch a faint trace of his scent– he smelt– oh dear Lord, calm my heart.

I shook my head. Now is not the time for this, Johanna!

"Are you okay, Anna? You seem to be struggling a bit. You look—"

I lifted my gaze briefly, my heart hammering. He was right. I was struggling—struggling to keep my heart calm!

"Uh, isn't this bus overloading already?" I managed to say, my voice unsteady. The bus started moving again, and now all I could see was his chest.

"Yes, it's definitely overloading, Anna, but the driver doesn't seem to mind," he said with a small laugh.

"Uh... uh, Melchour, you're—you're, uh-" I stammered, the words catching in my throat. I wanted to tell him he was far too close, but I couldn't bring myself to say it. The feeling was sending my thoughts spinning. I couldn't even look at him directly. I dared a glance upward and was startled to see... was he... smiling?