whats up schlawgs..

been watching PUELLA MAGI MADOKA MAGICA recently . its been a struggle bc its a tv show and yk how i am with tv shows 😬😬 but ive gotten through like half t he series bc i think its like 12 eps long # bless look at me go . i think i watched the first like two eps.    months and months ago. and then i watched the other 4 eps this week. i lwk know some spoilers from madoka magica bc i dont rlly expect myself to read or watch anything so i tend to just let myself get spoiled for stuff . but its ok we ball. idrk the specifics so im sure any reveal will still take me aback . theres a character death that i knew happened but the time at which it happened was completely unexpected so it still took me aback . but anywhas moving on

some homuras ^_^  . i know some spoilers about her character i think which is what inspired these drawings but i might be wrong LOL

anwyhas a lot of pink accents in both drawings bc yk. madokas color is pink. bless.

rlly excited to finish watching bc ive heard the relationship bewteen homura and madoka is ultra yuri 😭😭 i think doomed yuri or toxic yuri but whatever LOL . theres something interesting going on between them . i can alr tell from what ive watched in the show so far (THEYRE MY GOATS!) but idk the specifics yet so cant wait to see more of them . tehe !

ts high school au 😊

electraa in this au is kind of ... how u say. the korean word is nanllali. someone who doesnt rlly care abt their academic life and prefers to just hang out ? LOL so his writing skill isnt great . so pua who spends all his time studying is almost horrified at the shit quality of his academic work . its ok i forgive him hes literally neurodivergent and a minor

i think electraa just doesnt rlly fw typical . school subjects. hes always been a creative soul . school environment suffocates him a little . he thrives in the ART CLASSROOM !

theres a question mark after respectfully bc pua would Not be nice abt it. electraa does not gaf abt pua criticizing his writing tho bc he doesnt gaf what people think abt his writing and also he already knows his writing isnt good. also theyre always arguing and bantering so any insults arent taken very seriously by either party LOLLL

ts amnesia swap au ^_^

no real reason to draw this . i just needed a drawing for my carrd and i lwk like the dancing imagery with these two .

middle aged men au and high school au interacting ^_^

when older pua says hes not sure when hell get used to this hes talking abt . Being Married / being in a relationship at all .

both of them in old man au have trouble forming interpersonal relationships but they differ in the marriage aspect bc electraa copes with his desire to form interpersonal relationships by trying to form as close a relationship as he can with the least amt of commitment with as many people as possible (Unhealthy) so hes always wanted to get married at some point . hes probably fantasized abt married life more often than hed like to admit .

pua copes with it by convincing himself he never wanted to form interpersonal relationships in the first place (also unhealthy) so he had kinda . given up on ? the idea of being married at all . he was ready to die unmarried . so he never even thought about it

not to mention they both spent a vast majority of their lives unmarried . and since they got married so late like. the fraction of their life that was spent married will always be smaller than the fraction spent unmarried . thats abt 50 years to just break even . so hes just not rlly used to it . tldr 50 years of life and marriage is a very New development 4 him. so it takes a bit of getting used to .

all this to say that whenevr he remembers that he is in fact married he gets kinda shy abt it . LOL

studies ^_^ . used a uhh. ummm. gradient map is what its cslled i think. for the coloring . i just did values with shades of black and then the gradient map made it all colorful #awesome #technology .

found some brushes on gumroad . by username haribo i think. jpen set or smth. his name is jeff i think.

the pen brushes are ok i dont rlly fw them that much bc theyre too scraggly and jagged for my taste with not enough width variation but the watercolor brushes are cool . awesome texture and blend and wtvr .

i kinda jusr wanted to . find new brushes. heh. idk. i still like my brush pen brush but i wanted an inking pen . brush pen brush does opacity variation by pressure so its very uhhhhh pencilish almost . i wanted to find a brush that only does width variation by pressure like a pen . which is why i was on gumroad. ended up just finding an awesome default procreate brush for what i wanted tho #bless #gensinski ink

more studies . unsure if i learned anything but we ball .

its actually been a struggle . its lwk so funny bc this art struggle started like almost immediately after i stopped hyperfixing 😭😭😭😭 evidently if im not actively losing my fucking mind over a group of fucking goobers then i must struggle or smth ?!?!?! Okay man.........

like the struggle is less so the studies themselves bc i think they come out fine great fnatastic even but the application is so fucking hhharrdddddddddd 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 ik i just have to brute force it bc i learned how to shade the face just by brute force drawing and coloring a lot of portraits so ik thats evidently how i learn but its SOOOO ANNOYINNNGGGUHHHHHHHHH

phoenix wright if capcom werent cowards 😭😭😭😭😭😭

why does edgeworth get to have his stupid little cravat but phoenix cant show a little bit of cleavage OKAY..... ARE YOU MISOGYNISTIC! ITS WHAT MIA WOULD HAVE WANTED 😭😭😭

Grimace. Hi guys. GOLING. so. heh. tehe. i mean ig this can TECHNICALLY count as oi . i literally purposefully made shit up for the entire thing bc i rlly fw their designs and general dynamic but i wanted to do oc development and not get restricted by any kind of canon . so . i converted them into ocs 😭😭😭😭😭 LMFAOOOO

left and top middle i was unsure which direction to go yet so those darwings r just regular old oi sandaxe . the other drawings are the ocfied versions .

giggling idk why this is so embarrassing  hehe ^_^ im shy! wiggling my toes

FIRST OFF! we have samuel elijah wells . who just goes by sam . the lore here is he owns an investigation firm and hes lwk Not very good at his job but he usually succeeds by dumb luck and hes like well if it works then it works (this is subject to change .) . hes not super financially well off and since hes not making negative profit its just better for him to keep running the business . im thinking he came to own the firm in the first place just through connections and again dumb luck and its better than his previous situation (which was Nothing) so hes just taking it .

then theres finn atan FUCKKKKK I AM CRINGE BUT I AM FREE!!!! I AM CRINGE BUT I AM FREE!!!!!!!! ok so finn basically hires sam to look for his missing sister parker and he tags along in his investigation stuff bc he insists and he feels uneasy just sitting around and doing nothing while his sister is missing .

ok. so basically the lore is  IM GUCKING GOLING.    the lore is. theyre living in an era similar to the us during wwii . 😄😄😄😄😄😄 the government is also corrupt . theres a lot of paranoia and general shortages bc of the war . the paranoia is similar to the cold war communism paranoia . fashion is also similar to the wwii era aka 1930s except its not the 1930s so i modified what i wanted .

the story is split into two parts which is pre incident and post incident .

pre incident is just them working together to find parker . its just some world building and relationship/character development . they work well together and theyre having fun despite the grim situation but their relationship is mostly surface level and they dont pry too deeply into each other . again its just a general era of paranoia and theyre technically an employer and employee relationship at this point so theres no explicit reason for them to get to know each other too much .

the incident itself happens in the first part as the ending . basically right before they find parker they encounter some people on the opposing side of the war . sam tries to shoot them (i think he has some trauma about the war that makes him do that but idk the specifics yet. mayhaps he served some time in the war and it gave him a disability . 🤔 this is funny bc i was literally thinking abt giving him a cane when i was drawing but then i was like well why would i do that.... i was getting a vision from future me evidently) and finn stops him which gives them time to run away .  this causes a huge conflict between them that only stops bc they find parker .

i think finns rationale for saving those people is just bc like. hes like man its not right to take out your trauma on innocent people . these people never did anything . whys it their fault that the govt sucks . war is not the choice of the people . hes Very aware of the governments corruption but bc he has too much to lose and has too little rights as an immigrant he cant rlly do anything abt it .

later sam tells finn that even tho hes pissed tf off he wont report him to the authorities for sympathizing with the opposing side (mccarthyism parallel) and finn just says ok . at this point theyve both seen each other at their worst and their relationship is lwk at rock bottom .

post incident is after a time skip of a couple years into the future . theyve been no contact that entire time and sam is working on a case that he is struggling Really Badly on . he keeps thinking abt working with finn again bc they worked well tgth and hes like fuckkkkkkk . at some point they meet again mostky by chance (im thinking sam gets blackout drunk and finn happens to find him and is like Jesus christ. and takes him home)

at this point finn has gotten over the incident mostly (in that he understands Why sam acted the way he did and that he cant blame him . but he still finds that his perspective in the world is Too different from his and is smth he cant compromise on.) while sam is still rlly hung up over it . i think maybe he had told finn abt the war disabling him which he usually doesnt like to talk about and so he took finn stopping him kinda personally . kinda like a "you know what they did to me so how could you stop me" . yeah.

the convo they have in their reunion is very Awkward and still surface level except with the added layer of theyre trying to avoid talking abt the Incident and they go their separate ways as soon as they can . theyre both thinking glad thats over and i never have to see him again (foreshadowing)

i think sfter that sam is doing smth while working on the case and it gets him stuck in a bad situation that finn gets him out of (vague . not many details yet) again by just happening to see him by chance . hes like what the fuck sre you doing u coupld have gotten rlly hurt there!! and sam is like im working on a case man leave me alone .

finn is a little bit corny so he does believe in fate an all that jazz so hes like ive seen this guy like twice now. so he offers to help him on the case . and sams first response is No way jose and finn is like man dont be like that what have u got to lose . its not like ur paying me. and sams like hmmmfgggggggg Fine. (trying soooo hard not to show that hes happy abt this)

theres def a parallel sometime in part 2 where somsone else is holding a gun to the head of someone on the opposing side of the war and sam shoots the guy with the gun instead of letting it happen .

also in part 2 theyre working tgth as equals compared to in part 1 where finn is employing him . so they get more personal compared to part 1 .

in part 2 finn has a huge burn scar that covers like his shoulder, a part of his back, and abt half of his arm bc of the war . either caught in burning rubble or was just too close to an explosion . it kinda fucks up his arm function permanently so even after it healed and scarred over completely his arm movement is a little limited. hypertrophic scars or smth i think. idk for sure tho i need to do more research so that little factoid is not 100% confirmed yet .

also i think finn was never drafted into the war js bc his height made him wayyyy too clumsy to send out to the warfront and also made him a super easy target 😭😭 . danger to not only himself but other people

in part 1 theyre 25-26 and in part 2 theyre like. early 30s vaguely.

Anyways now that all the lores out of the way . drawings explanation .

bottom comic is i think finn just sees his brother randomly on the street while hes with sam and hes like omg thats my brother haiiii ^_^ and he just introduces them . the joke here is he calls him his baby brother and he is significantly shorter than finn but compared to the average person he is not very Baby or Short .

top right drawing is them going to a bar and spencer and sam having a little convo while finn is away using the bathroom or wtvr . at this point spencer is like 99% convinced that theres smth going on between them which is why hes talking freely about this despite having no confirmation abt anything . hes not rlly the type to speculate smth that has no clear reasoning so . says a lot abt how they were acting more than anything .

in the context of this world being queer is . lwk criminalized ? pseudo illegal ? 😊? like its legal. technically. but if ur openly queer then its likelier for people to try to find dirt on you bc they suspect ur more liberal and thus likelier to be a sympathizer . smthsmth fascist authoritarian government . so basically increased chance of getting reported to the authorities (mccarthyism.........) so . yeah. like i said finn has too much to lose and not enough protection so hes not abt to risk any of that . him being openly queer is not That important to him .

however this also does show that spencer cares for finn a Lot bc hes obviously fine with finn liking men despite the societal standard . so yk. #bless #family

also he says that he wasnt expecting finn to like "someone like sam" as in someone who seems kinda cold and aloof . i think he had always expected his type to be someone doting and warm .

burn scar location . honestly might stretch it out even further but im unsure .

also sam and cane . his bad leg is his right one . im thinking he got shot in the shin and his bones healed weird and gave him a limp .

top right is sams horrific attempt at trynna employ some rizz . hes js trynna figure out if he has a chance but like i mentioned . being queer is lwk criminalized in this world so him asking this is kinda like asking a murderer who is trying to hide that theyre a murderer if they murdered anyone recently . just replace murder with. being gay. . thwt wasnt a great metaphor. but ygwim 😭😭. so finn gets paranoid abt it bc hes still Very deep in the closet. not a single person knows. so having someone ask freaks him out a little .

bottom right is just carrying each other #awesome

GRIN! this is uhhhhhh, uhhh . uhhhh. ? what was i saying. oh this is part 2 ^_^ . as aeen by longer hair finn and earring sam . i think there are probs other changes like. Clothes changes. and stuff. but ill figure that out Heh Later....

so yeah . this is part 2 so finn just isnt used to sam pulling. pranks. in part 1 their relationship is mostly professional (emphasis on Mostly they have some Interesting moments) so having sam pull smth so immature and giggle abt it is just very unexpected .

grini.  grin. FUCKKKKKKKK grin! who said that. crashing tf out rn . idk why but i reallyyyyy fw the wwi, wwii, cold war era (so just 20th century) (fuckkk like FUCKKKKKKKKKK its so fucking interesting the roaring 20s, the great depression, baby boomers and gi bill and suburbanization, imperialism, decolonization, proxy wars, THERES SOOOO MUUUCHHH and thats JUST THE US. holy fuckk im going on a tangent so hard rn but i took african history last semester and apparently the aids crisis in south africa got Super racialized bc of their apartheid history and was handled so poorly bc the government was Just starting to be autonomous following decolonization and an end to apartheid AND there was implementation of socialism in like tanzania i think and that was also HELLA racialized and almost perfectly reflected the cold war conditions fuckkkkk like so much of decolonization was Hella racialized bc of colonial history fuckkkkk HOLY FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK i fw 20th century history so heavy . and thats just africa and the us omfg dont even get me started on korea i have less info on kr its mostly just limited to a vague understanding of the cold war (kr war) and a slightly more specific understanding of the wwi wwii era (japanese occupation of korea) but FUCKKKKK ITS SOOOO FUCKING GOOOOODDDDD oh my god dont even get me started the 20th century is so incredibly HUMAN like learning abt it its so so so complex and it brought out the worst of mankind but also the very best of mankind its. so incredible fuckkkkk fuckkkkkk fuckkkkkk i wish i could take more history classes that focus on Just the 20th century bc that african history class was incredible but literally the first 2/3rds of the semester made me wanna kill myself )

sorry chat. anwyays GOLINNNNNG all this to say that this entire universe is  Really self indulgent.

mostly finalized part 1 and part 2 designs

yk jeans got popularized in the 50s bc of movie actors? Who said that. and it was popularized by minority groups? and it was seen as indication of bad behavior? which made it more popular? Who said that LOLLLLL but yah fun little factoid while i was doing fashion history research (FUCKKKKKKKK) . its probs not true in this universe but fun fact .

slightly super mega disproportionate DONT LOOK AT IT TOO HARD 😭😭😭😭 me when i take a big fat planning L . this is what happens when u dont sketch beforehand.

basically context is just that this is Very early on in a romantic relationship between them or hoenstly could just be the beginning of it too . before this point finn had become completely resigned to the idea of his parents arranging a marriage for him with some rich girl and had completely given up on romance in general just bc it felt so . unattainable for him . and hes been resigned for years now . so when he is able to genuinely experience Romance he just gets Very overwhelmed .

also i had smth in mind while drawing this about his burn scar . i think hes a lil insecure abt it js bc hes used to people commenting on it in a way thats intended to be lighthearted but . yeah . it made him self conscious. so i think when he reconnected with sam in part 2 he tried rlly hard to Not show him the scar . so when he eventually Does show it to him and sam doesnt give a shit hes a little touched

then comic. heh.

fuckkkkk crosshatching with this brush is soooo funnnnnn

huge huge huge grin. fuckkkkkk. anwyays, WHO SAID HTAT! anyways.

context for this comic is that finn goes to the firm late at night one day and sams like "what are you doing here." (hes still working even tho its late (workaholic behavior)) and finns like "hehe. no reason !" (he was feeling sad and lonely) so hes kinda just sitting in his office while he works and theyre chatting a little and sams like "ok. so u wanna tell me the real reason ur here" and finns like "^.^..........." and hes like "well.  im gonna get married soon i think" and sams like "?" bc its like thr last thing he was expecting.

 atp hes like 90% sure finn is gay and he also hasnt heard Anything abt a girlfriend much less a fiance . also his tone of voice is very. unlike someone whos about to be married . so sams like "explain" and finn basically just tells him that hes gotten too old now and that hes gotta get married eventually and his parents are willing to arrange a marriage for him with a richer girl . either that OR theres a rich girl willing to marry him from his connections bc hes fairly well known in the area for being tall and working a lot of odd jobs . either way. marriage to a rich girl with not a lot of emotion in it.

so Sams like "what the fuck r u talking about. what is this shit. u dont even want to get married?" and finns like "well yeah but yk . itll be good for my family. so its ok. it cant be that bad" and sams like "Bro what are you yapping about . why are you doing this shit." 

so basically . finns financial situation is in the gutter rn. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 hes been working his ass off to make money so he could send his siblings to college (at this point their ages are roughly 25, 24, 20, 20, and 17) but he never has enough so hes taken out a shit ton of loans to send them . hes taking them out instead of his parents bc he doesnt want his parents to have to deal with loan stuff esp bc theyre lwk disenfranchised and likelier to be taken advantage of bc theyre immigrants . his youngest sister is gonna go to college Very soon but hes taken out so many loans and is struggling to pay them on time and his credit score is lwk not looking too hot so he cant take out another loan for his youngest sister. so hes kind of in an emergency state rn where anything is ok with him . including getting married .

also his burn injury took him out of commission for a Really long time and even after he healed he couldnt do as much physical labor as he used to be able to do so he hasnt been able to make as much money as he needs .  

(alsoalso hes so obsesesd with sending his siblings to college bc first off HE really realy Really wanted to go to college but he couldnt bc of his financial situation . second off he saw how happy college made spencer and parker and how it gave them So many opportunities and it would kill him if he couldnt give that to All of his siblings.)

so he basicslly tells all this to sam which leads to the start of the comic. atp sam is alr pissed off bc hes listening to this entire shitshow only NOW and hes lwk upset that he never told him any of this even tho theyve been pretty good friends for a good while now . hes also kinda upset at himself for not noticing + not being dependable enough for finn to rely on .

also at this point his investigation firm is doing Really well (huge boom in business after their success in finding parker (im thinking her disappearance was linked to war stuff so it got a lot of coverage. but yeah)) and hes financially Very well off which is why hes telling him to just marry him if money is the issue .  

finn brings up his reputation bc sam is Very concerned abt his reputation and its obvious . his reputation directly affects his business and the subsequent money he makes which is Very important to him . finn knows this . thats why him saying like i give a shit is completely unexpected and it takes finn aback .

i think finn is so insistent on sam marrying someone he loves bc he does Not get that choice . so if he cant have that choice then his bestiiee should be able to have it . 

when finn is talking abt marriage being sacred sam is upset bc well first of all he thinks marriage is so sacred but hes marrying for financial reasons . so the hypocrisy of it all pisses him off. second off the Only thing this man wants is to marry finn . he wants it so bad his entire being hurts . so having him yap abt marrying someone he loves is pissing him off bc finn is That Guy Pal . but he cant rlly say that. also. having him yap abt sam marrying someone he loves with absolutely zero indication that the person he loves could ever be himself kinda stings bc to sam it sounds like finn doesnt have even a hint of romantic emotion about him which is yk its not unexpected. but it still kinda sucks . 

also finn saying i couldnt over and over again is him semi convincing himself too . i think to him the idea of marrying sam is Way too good to be true and if he doesnt keep convincing himself hes worried hell actually take his offer which goes against like All of his morals .

when he says "youre not..." he was gonna say "youre not taking anything from me" . bc if they did get married then its lit what he wants . but again he cant rlly say that .

hes pissed tf off bc not only is finn getting married to some rando, its some rando he doesnt even care abt . like if finn was getting married to someone he actually loved then sam would still be upset abt it but hed try to be happy for his sake bc his happiness is more important than his own bitterness. but thats not even the situation so him getting married for financial reasons and (knowing finn) being miserable abt it is smth that sam cant just stand by and watch . i think hed go crazy . its basically just "if i cant marry u then youve gotta marry someone who makes you happy so if ur not even gonna do that then u bet ur ass im gonna do everything in my power so that u dont get married"

heh. i love being neurodivergent. farewell my nakamas. smell ya later