:: Attempt 20 | Tragedy + Time ::

"On the edges of the sharpest knives,
In the middle of the darkest nights;
Always knew that I would find you here,
In a puddle of the bravest tears.

[...]

"And the bravest of faces,
Are the ones where we fake it
In the roles that we play."
- "Tragedy + Time" by Rise Against

x + x

"I said I'm fine." I say as he continues to hold me close to him, his green eyes still dark with what I now recognize as hatred.

Hatred not directed at Gakushu only, but also at himself, most likely for arriving later than he may have liked. Yet there is something else entirely: powerlessness mixed with something akin to helplessness, a sadness too great for words, yet evident in the way I feel that his fingers are trembling even through the fabric of my blazer.

He's blaming himself. I should know—I always see the same set of emotions whenever I look at myself in the mirror.

"Is this why ya' wanted me to wait fifteen minutes?"

I almost halt my footsteps at his sudden query, gazing up at him in confusion as I remain holding onto his jacket. Whispers have long since started to erupt around us, yet I pay them no heed as his gaze meets mine, a vague sense of seriousness in his eyes as he loosens his hold around my waist.

I catch myself before I stumble forwards, holding onto my messenger bag as he keeps his hand resting against my lower back, urging me to move. Away from the crowd of nosy bystanders, from the prejudiced outlook of the masses.

Away from the bastard better known as Asano Gakushu.

"What do you mean, Basil?"

He glances at me, before returning his gaze upon the streets, dodging passersby with ease. I wait for his response, a prickle of unease tickling the nape of my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

"...Never mind," he mutters, so low that I almost can't hear his reply. But I still do, and I frown, tugging at the sleeve of his jacket.

"It's obvious that you're bothered," I say, forcing the calm, rational yet somehow unaffected tone of my voice as we turn yet another corner, sending us out of view of Kunugigaoka's main gates.

We have somehow walked a little ways downtown in his silence, a tangible existence I find too disturbing to overcome or to simply ignore. It bothers me, to say the least; he always has something to say, some sort of comeback which will, in turn, force me to answer in a fit of annoyance.

That, however, doesn't seem to be the case as of this moment.

"Why won't you explain?"

He abruptly turns on his heel, facing me with a stormy look upon his face. I barely hold back a flinch as he asks, an undertone of something darker, something more painful than anything I ever thought could be within his voice.

"Then why? Why did ya' let him kiss you?"

Again, I freeze, the earlier chill locking my limbs in place as I unintentionally start to tremble. A choked gasp escapes my lips, barely muffled by my hand as I futilely attempt to stifle the sob building in my throat. I shouldn't cry. I shouldn't show my weaknesses so easily.

I'm not even supposed to feel this much pain.

I take in another tremulous breath, exhaling through my nose as the familiar burn starts to sting the back of my eyes.

"Do you think.." I swallow thickly, avoiding his gaze. His eyes are too penetrating, for lack of a better word.

He has always seen right through me; through all the walls I've built, all of the lies I have to tell. He just broke them down with a simple, sincere smile.

I don't even know how. He just did.

I try again, an errant tear trickling down my cheek and past my notice.

"Do you think.. I wanted him to? Do you think I wanted to kiss Asano Gakushu..?"

Right in front of you? Right where anyone can see? Do you really see me as someone who's easily taken advantage of?

There's so many questions I want to ask, so many answers I want to hear, so many lies I regret ever telling. But I don't say anything more.

Basil shakes his head, a torn look in his eyes.

"It didn't look it, no.. But you could've torn 'im off you.. Hell, you've thrown me across the room more times than I can count on fingers and toes. I just.." He pauses, looking up at me with those green eyes of his, a torrent of emotions sweeping through his gaze faster than I can ever decipher them.

"Why didn't you?"

I look away, a derisive laugh escaping my lips. "Why didn't I..?" I repeat softly, pressing a hand over my disheveled forelocks, pushing them away from my eyes.

I look at him, ignoring the tears which prick at my eyes, blurring my vision as they fall without my permission.

"How am I supposed to answer a question I don't even know the answer to?"

His eyes widen, realization flitting through the evergreen pools before he hangs his head, his arms wrapping around my waist as he pulls me into an embrace. His chin rests atop my head, his voice a low whisper in my ear.

"Take your time." He says quietly, even as I rest my head against his collarbone, the scent of mint from his school blazer infiltrating my sense of smell. "Just.. Make sure he doesn't make you do anything you don't want to do, 'kay?"

I close my eyes, letting the waters pull me down and under, into the darkness where I couldn't see anything, where I become numb to everything and anything around me—a limitless nothingness. Yet his warmth chases away the cold, bringing me back to the surface, back to the reality I don't want to face.

"I shouldn't even be crying." I say, my voice a hoarse, broken whisper as I relent to his silent plea, wrapping my arms around him.

He hums, the sound a gentle vibration which somehow soothes my frayed nerves. "It's fine. Crying can clear your face." He attempts to chuckle, only for it to come out as a weak laugh.

"Damn, I wish Abel was here.." He mutters under his breath.

I look up, a weak, humorless smile tugging at my lips as I push myself up onto my tiptoes. Simultaneously, I reach up, pulling him down as I rest my forehead against his.

"Abel... So that's the name of your little sister."

A soft hum slips from my mouth at the thought, and, before I think twice about the possible consequences of my actions, I lean in, brushing my lips against his cheek for a brief second.

"Thank you." I murmur after I pull away, averting my gaze from his.

His eyes widen as his grin grows, a small flicker of his usual self in his eyes. "Abel woulda' let me beat the shit out of that... Gakushit, was it?" He laughs, "I'll savor thy kiss, milady."

He winks, and I try my hardest to restrain the embarrassment I feel, the rapid pounding of my ever-so-gullible heart telling me that it's anything but that.

I feel my cheeks flush against my evident internal war against my own self. "Don't push it." I mutter irritably, lightly punching his shoulder. "Damn it.."

He'd really do anything, huh... Just like he promised—no, just like he said. He didn't promise me anything; it wasn't an oath—it was a truth. If it was a promise.. I don't think I'll be able to carry on if it breaks right in front of me. Not again.

He'd do anything, even punching that son of a bitch in the face—

Oh no.

I pause, stiffening in realization as I pull out of his arms, much to his confusion.

"Shit. You're in deep trouble, Basil."

He blinks, before he seems to catch on, and his shoulders lift up in a nonchalant shrug. "Eh, it was worth it."

I glance at him, a sigh leaving my lips. "Then again, having done that, the worst case scenario would be to drop you into Class E..."

Basil looks at me, another grin tugging at his lips as he slings an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to his side.

"Say, do ya' know a place where we can go an' eat? I'm starving."

I stifle an amused laugh, before I take a look at my surroundings, stiffening in shock. A crowd has gathered around us, whispering and pointing to the two of us, expressions of adoration upon their faces, some even squealing or cooing.

"Oh, they're so cute!"

"I wish my boyfriend was like that.."

"I know right! Such a cute couple—they're so lucky to have each other—"

Heat creeps up my cheeks faster than I think possible, and I look away, tugging at his jacket as I turn towards a familiar-looking cafe I had passed by on more than one occasion.

He gazes down at me, chuckling as he pokes at my flushed cheeks. "Aoi, you're as red as your hair."

I scowl, pushing the glass door open with a hand. "Shut the hell up before I decide to throw you face-first onto the incoming traffic."

A vacant booth rests against the corner of the cafe, and I walk over to its somewhat comfortable leather seats, taking up the spot by the window. Basil slides into the seat across from mine.

"That wouldn't be the first time, would it?" He whistles, shaking out his hand. "Damn, Gakushit had one hard jaw."

I stare at him for a brief moment, unsure if he's serious or just being his usual playful self. Before I can help myself, a peal of laughter escapes my lips, barely muffled by my hand. He cracks a grin, seemingly satisfied by my reaction.

"What? It's true—"

"What are your orders, ma'am—" A boy around our age, with dark hair and eyes which look like a shade of amber, questions, pausing as he glances at me. Realization crosses his face as —strangely enough—an 'ahoge' perks up atop his head. In his hands are a pen and a pad of paper, which I now notice are supposed to be used to take down our orders.

Strangely enough, he seems familiar, although I can't recall when I saw him. It is as though the memory lingers just out of my reach, infuriatingly close yet so far.

"..Hanazono-san? It's you, right?"

Basil glances at me, cocking his head in the direction of the boy. "Ya' know him, Aoi?"

The question seems to spark something akin to understanding in the boy's eyes, and he smiles somewhat wryly. "That's right, you've only just recently started in Class E. I'm the male class representative, Isogai Yuuma."

I nod slowly, before saying rather abruptly, "So you're working part-time here? I heard that Kunugigaoka students aren't supposed to be taking jobs of a sort, or is that just a rumor?"

Isogai nods, taking up his forgotten pen. "No, it's a rule of the school.." He stops, smiling sheepishly, "But that's a matter for another conversation. Can I take your orders, Hanazono-san? It's not exactly polite of me to intrude while you're on a date with your boyfriend.."

At his words, I immediately look towards Basil, who seems to turn just the slightest shade of crimson at the remark. He glances at me, and I look away, dreadfully aware of the rosy flush coloring my cheeks.

Why is it that a lot of people confuse us to be together in that way?!?

Isogai looks between the two of us, seemingly confused.

"He's—he's not my boyfriend—he's just a close friend of mine." I interject before the dark-haired boy can say anything. "He just transferred to Kunugigaoka today, and.." I cut off my incessant rambling, instead looking down at my hands.

"..I'll just take a blueberry cheesecake and a mocha frappe." I mumble under my breath, hoping that this may at least cover up some of my evident embarrassment.

Isogai nods once again, still very much puzzled at my abrupt denial, before he turns towards Basil, who mutters something low enough that I can't hear him. I sigh, resting my head against my palm as I take out my phone, texting a brief message to Tsubaki.

It's likely that she is starting to get worried by now. Or perhaps she has already gone ahead, and is now waiting for our return.

That is something I think will be the logical path, seeing that the sun is starting to set in the horizon, painting the sky various shades of gold, orange, red and blue.

Tomorrow will prove to be another tiresome day..

x + x

"How do you think it happened?"

"It looks like they're fighting over that red-haired girl, doesn't it?"

"Hey, isn't she Asano-kun's girlfriend? The one who was transferred to the End Class?"

"What does he even see in her?"

"Looks like she's nothing but trouble. She even got that new guy to punch her own boyfriend!"

"What a slut; clinging to another boy in front of Asano-kun? She doesn't even deserve him!"

"That's just the End Class scum."

Rumors, hissed whispers and gossip flies through the Friday atmosphere at rapid speeds, roughly a day or so since the midterms ended. In every direction you look, students clad in similar gray uniforms cluster together, murmuring their biased opinions, fueled by envy, jealousy and unjustified hatred.

He ignores their sibilant hisses, walking directly towards the Office of the Board Chairman. His brown hair is messy from his perpetual handling, green eyes serious amidst the early morning light. An infuriatingly familiar silhouette stands before the doors of the office, a nasty bruise standing out against his pale skin.

Basil stops just a few yards away, eyeing the strawberry-blond boy with a grim look seldom seen within his gaze.

"I won't apologize for what I did." He says succinctly, grasping his school bag tighter. "Not when ya' know you deserved it."

Asano Gakushu glances at the brunet, an unknown emotion in the purple irises. "I won't give up on her. I did that once, and I would rather not repeat the same mistake again."

"You're wrong if you think I'm letting her go back to you that easily." The green-eyed boy utters, before grasping the doorknob and pushing the door open.

"She's been hurt too much, and ya' weren't there when she needed you most." He turns to look at the Student Council president once more, a hard look in his eyes.

"You threw her away when all she needed was your understanding. And now you're trying to make things right after these years?"

Basil smiles—a cold, unforgiving grin which tells more than what he can ever say.

"Stop acting like a cliche piece of shit. This isn't some childish fantasy tale ya' can always go back to and retell the story how you like.

"This is reality, Asano. And the truth is you left her with the guilt, and broke her apart."

- To be continued.

[Word Count: 2,552. Originally written June 12th, 2016. Edited April 5th, 2017. Dedicated to greyhavensking / Arctic_Sky for the cover of this book. Digital art in the multimedia is created by my cousin, FayeeeM .]