"Damn, your eyes." - Unknown

DEDICATION: strikingradios for all the stupendous votes, awesome-sauce comments, and even writing a story that was inspired by this series. Thank you so much!

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"This is Wester-"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!"

"Retina? Why are you screaming?!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

"Are you being brutally stabbed to death?! What's going on?"

"I'm- pffttttt- on a- chhhhhhhhh-"

"Okay, firstly, that explains a whole load of nothing."

"Chhhhh- roller-"

"And secondly, either you're holding the phone out of a moving car's window- which is a rather unorthodox gesture, or someone is blowing into your microphone like it's a-"

"Coaster!"

"A rollercoaster? Why are you calling me on a roller coaster? Is that even legal?! Oh my Russian fudge, I don't want to be arrested for my number being dialled by a yogurt-hating Retina!"

"I- pshhhhhh- can't do anything- chhhhh- except scream- ahhhhhhh- right now!"

"Then why the frick did you call me?!"

"To- chhh- say -pshhhhh- that I-

"Uh, hello? Wait, hello?! Retina? Did you just die?!"

"..."

"What. An. Idiot."