I want to kiss her so badly that I give in to the urge. She's never been kissed before and that excites me. I deepen the kiss and she follows. I nip her lower lip and she opens to me. She's so sweet. I deepen the kiss forgetting everything, just lost to the feelings she invokes. I'm just about to take her over to the bed when she moans and brings me back to my senses.

I'm appalled for my actions. I'm her protector, not her seducer. It's obvious to me that she's completely innocent, and up until today never even been kissed. How she'd made it to her age with out a kiss is beyond me. Just what had her life been like on Earth anyway?

"I'm sorry Maha, I shouldn't have done that." But I'd do it again in a heartbeat and I want to oh so badly. But I'm too close to losing control and she deserves more than a quick-

"Are you?" She asks with an unsure voice.

"Am I what?"

"Sorry, about kissing me." She says boldly but there are tones of hurt there and I have to tell her the truth.

"No. At least...I should be Maha, but truth to tell I'd kiss you again and take it farther than you are ready for. Farther than I should. Hell, I shouldn't have kissed you, but" she cuts me off and kisses me again. She's a very fast learner.

"Maha, we have to stop." I fight with myself just to say that. "You aren't ready to take things any further." But I sure am. I have to keep reminding myself that she's an innocent and under my protection. I'm having a very difficult time remembering or caring.

I find myself picking her up and carrying her to the bed. I place her down and cover her. I can't hide how she's making me feel and she moans as I come in contact with her lower body.

His kisses are like fire and his touch like heaven. I need to touch him, feel him, I can't get enough of him. I've never felt like this before. His hardened self pushes against me and I want more. I put my legs around him and pull him down.

I lose my self in the fire and rush he brings me. I protest as he pulls against my legs until I feel his hands. Then I understand. I allow myself to be moved so he can remove my clothes. His hoarse voice, "Maha, oh damn, Maha we need to stop." But he doesn't want to cause he doesn't stop touching me.

Suddenly I'm cold and he's off me. As my fire dies I find myself naked on my bed and Rafe standing across the room struggling to catch his breath. He's not much more dressed than I am. "What have I done?" He says over and over again and drops to his knees.

Suddenly I feel even more cold and get dressed as fast as I can. I had very nearly had sex with Rafe, when before this day I hadn't even kissed a boy.

I'm dressed and not sure what to do long before Rafe pulls himself together enough to get himself redressed. He doesn't speak to me. He doesn't look at me either. Something that had ignited within me dies. He's rejecting me.

"Do you hate me now Rafe?" I ask in a wooden voice. The voice in the back of my head is mocking me, taunting me that he won't even look at me because he actually hates me.

His bitter laugh fills the room. "Hate you? No. If I hated you I'd be able to resist you no matter how beautiful you are. Even now I find it hard to not touch you, kiss you and finish what we just started. We can't be alone now. If you are ready I'll take you to the cafeteria for lunch."

I ache to ask him just how he does feel about me, but his voice made it so that I know the subject is closed. But he called me beautiful, I think. He desires me, I may be innocent but even I know what the bulge means.

Before I get back in my chair I ask him a question that I've really wanted the answer to. "Rafe, if I'm not human, what the hell am I? Just some genetic mock up? A freak? Or a different alien?"

At my question Rafe freezes. He's getting ready to lie to me I can tell. "Maha," he begins then his shoulders sag in defeat. "I'm not supposed to tell you this. We don't know what you are. Like I said you are almost perfectly a genetic replica of the humans. You were raised there, whether you were born there or not, that we don't know. If there is more known, it is kept from me as well."

He helps adjust me to the chair and wheels me out of my room. "Any further information will have to come from the Commander herself. I'm sorry I can't tell you more."

"Do I make you uncomfortable now, Rafe?" I hide my face from him not wanting him to see my tears.

His bitter laugh makes me jerk upright in the chair. "Only in that I want to take you back to the room and finish what we started. I have to report this Maha, it could affect my decisions in how to protect you. It's very likely that they'll take me off your protection. That's why I shouldn't have done what I did. I might never be allowed near you now." His pain is real, I hear it in his voice but I also know that he won't show a thing to the rest of the world.

After that there is no more talking. We walk into the cafeteria and as we work our way through, first silence and then a wave of noise swells around us.

The noise of the speculation surrounds us. Maha manages to remain aloof to it all. It seems that she's been the subject of rumors before.

I hand her a tray for her and she takes mine as well informing me that she wants me to drive with both hands, she doesn't want to end up in the door jamb or wall. So I don't fight with her about it. 

She picks some foods and I pick others.  I find us a table that is just for two and she sets the trays on top.

She eats but it's more like picking. I force myself to eat.

"I'll take you shopping before I make my report. Then I'll take you back to the infirmary. While there the doctor will see if you are up to being released and I'll make my report to the Commander. I might not be allowed to see you again at that point."

I can't eat anymore. Even the thought of shopping doesn't brighten my day now. We leave the cafeteria and he takes me to the shop on board. It rather surprises me that they have a store like this on their warship. But Rafe explains that they are away from home for years at a time and need to have access to non military items as well.

It makes sense, I guess. But I'm still shocked at the range of clothes and other items could be found in the store. 

Rafe makes sure that I have a large selection of clothes before taking me to the dressing rooms. He's very careful to makes sure that he doesn't come in with me. I'm hurt until I take a look at his face. He's fighting for control. I am doing that to him, he wants me. No one has ever wanted me, definitely not like that.

After making sure the clothes fit I open the door and Rafe is there waiting for me. Only a few things didn't fit, those he takes from me and places somewhere. 

"How many of these things am I allowed to get?" I ask shyly. The prices don't seem too bad but still items add up ridiculously fast.

"All of them." He says and hands me a card with my name on it. He shows me how to read the balance on the card. It's very like a debit card, only with a built in account balance. It's rather nifty. But the balance it shows shocks me. 

"Rafe, I am unfamiliar with your society and so I don't know, but this balance..."

"It's rather equal to that of your home on earth. California? I believe it was called." Rafe explains. I feel faint. They gave me a card that makes me a freaking millionaire at home.

"Your people, would they consider this a lot?" I fight to breath.

"Most of my people will never see anywhere near that amount of money in their life time."

"And you?"

Rafe comes around in front of the wheelchair, "I have."

At the confusion on my face he continues, "I come from the ruling class Maha, I come from money. Most of the officers do. Although not all of us. And money doesn't mean leadership roles either. We have to prove ourselves worthy of our places here. No matter how much money I have, if I hadn't earned my spot here I wouldn't be here."

"Why do I have so much money given to me?"

"I don't know the full answer to that Maha. We owe you though, for how you were first treated. Also I think it has to do with what they want from you. That and I think they are using it as a bribe. But you don't have to use it if you don't want to. I'll buy these things for you and as basic human rights you'll be given whatever you need."

"But, I'm not human," I whisper. Rafe enfolds me in his arms. 

"You're close enough Maha. It's up to you what you do with that card. I'll buy these things for you. Come, you are getting tired."

He takes me to the check out counter and then proceeds to pay for my things. I feel guilty, I have the card and it has more than enough money to take care of the purchase. Rafe touches my arm as if he knows my thoughts.

"It's alright Maha, I have more than enough for this." He had known my thoughts.

We leave the store and stop at my room only long enough for me to put away my new things. I find a few things I hadn't placed there. I look over at Rafe and he smiles at me.

After we get back to the infirmary, he helps me back into the bed. I want to kiss him but he stops me, "cameras." I understand.

He steps away and I can't hide my tears.

"I have to Maha," he whispers.

"I know," I reply and he's gone. I don't know if I'll ever see him again.