Daniel James Howell

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"Although I hated life it felt beautiful to breathe."

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I WATCHED THE SNOW FALL GRACEFULLY FROM THE SKY like small angels descending from heaven onto Earth, and I am left to wonder how something so beautiful could annoy me so much. The snowflakes were beautifully crafted to look like stars falling from the sky but the icy cold it brought was dissatisfying. I wasn't dressed the best for this weather either.

I wore a dark blue beanie that mimicked the color of the deep ocean to protect the tips of my ears. I had taken the hat from my brother without telling him but I knew he wouldn't mind. My brother loved the winter, he could control the ice and manipulate it. He didn't need a stupid hat, I did. However, it wasn't going quite to plan. It felt like a thousand needles were piercing the tip of my nose and I was in constant fear of frost bites.

No one else had to face the foolish issues I did because I lived in a world where everyone could avoid it with their "gifts." They weren't really gifts, it was more of a trait you were born with; the norm. You either had super speed, super strength, the ability to read minds or something along the lines of that. The only thing they had to worry about was not getting dirt in their eyes as they looked down at people like me. It was something everyone had, these abilities were part of your identity. Your powers would help you and help others around you; it was a common blessing given to everyone. Except for me.

I was different and not the good kind of different that everyone praised. I was the horrible kind of different because I didn't have the any powers or unique abilities. This very fact caused me so much torment throughout my life that I chose to repress. I was just me and somehow that was a sin, a disgrace. I wasn't the cool kid who would walk with their head held high in confidence; instead I looked pissed off as I passed everyone. I tried to seem unapproachable, honestly I began to envy everyone around me. They didn't need any help from me at all, I was the most talentless person on the face of the planet.

I never introduced myself to anyone either or made friends. I didn't need to know their names to know they were far more superior to me. Who cares if the guy who controls fire and mind's name is Matt? They probably don't want my name either, who would? I could imagine the title of my autobiography now, "Dan Howell, The Most Unimpressive Human Ever. What a loser!" It would basically be a whole book about how my life was like I was passing the cool kid table every time I walked past someone.

I was just an ordinary person in a world filled with extraordinary people

I've tried to get used to it, but being the most un-special person isn't something that takes a few days to get over. I'm still not used to that fact after nineteen years. I'm struggling to feel welcomed in a society that sees me as nothing but a scrap at the bottom of the trash. I don't even have someone who would stick by my side either, a person to encourage me. I don't blame anyone either. Who would settle for leftovers when you could have the real thing? I guess that explains why I've never had a friend, never trusted anyone or loved anyone. It's pathetic.

I was taught that my parents would support me to the very end but my parents just treat me like I have a "Fragile" sticker on my forehead. They constantly shield me from things that I could handle. When I was a kid I wasn't allowed to go outside and play with the others kids but my brother was. He would control the snow and show off to the kids on the block, gaining popularity. No matter how many tears I shed and no matter how many times I pleaded, I wasn't allowed to make friends and be normal; or at least attempt to.

My parents realized my life was damaged beyond repair but never acknowledge that they were the cause of it. Instead, they send me to therapy groups for troubled teens. The first two groups didn't do anything and I was in the process of attending the third. I remember reading the description of the group online. Reading over the short paragraph made me realize that this group was for kids who didn't accept their powers, and didn't make friends because of it. I didn't fit in at all. I had no interest in attending but my parents insisted it would help me. They didn't even know half of my problems, if they did they would know this therapy wouldn't do jack shit for me. They can't fix me with this.

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I STARED AT THE SIGN THAT STATED THIS WAS a government controlled building meaning no use of powers allowed inside. I rolled my eyes, this therapy group thing might make cringe until I rip my skin off then.

The government has been restricting people, they control half the world and limit the use of powers. I heard they've been trying to figure out how to get rid of the abilities others have and make them normal, like I am. I have no idea why they would work so hard to get rid of something so unique. Why did they hate it so much?

Although I was a bit angry at not having powers, I don't want anyone else having to be normal like me. Being born without any powers is easier than having them snatched away. I'm used to being the way I am, I've adapted to it. If someone who could control fire suddenly can't, then it'll be hard to cope with. That person can't hear up their meal with their hands anymore. I don't wish that type of frustration on people.

I heard everyone in the whole world used to live without powers until there was a chemical outbreak or something stupid like that. It has evolved and mutated in many ways since then, in ways I can't explain. But then again I never paid attention in class when they talked about those stupid abilities. I just felt more pathetic and useless hearing it.

I opened the door to the therapy group, and entered with gentle steps, I didn't need anyone noticing me. I took a quick look around to see how many people were here. The room was almost filled and it seemed I was right on time. A lady with a bright smile and dull red nails told everyone to settle down. She looked plain, with brown eyes and blonde hair. Her face wrinkled when she smiled indicating she was about forty. Her makeup smudged around her right eye, but in general her makeup looked as if it were effortlessly slapped on.

I settled down in a chair and the lady brushed her hands on her red skirt and adjusted her white shirt. I was all the way in the back with two empty chairs in next to me. It seemed everyone had come here with a friends. Were these kids even "troubled?"

"Hello everyone, I am Margret Anne. I'd like to start off by everyone introducing themselves. Let's get right to it with this young man-" I ignored her and began to study her features instead. I began to wonder how her cheeks didn't hurt from all that smiling, her smile seemed fake as well as the rest of her. The boys in the front who had been shamelessly flirting with the two girls who sat behind them began the introductions.

"Well my name is-" I tuned them out, not caring what their names were. Their names were irrelevant to remember because I knew they wouldn't remember mine either. I heard the door open but ignored it and looked at my sneakers, one shoe seemed to have got untied.

"Excuse me in the back." Margret called out and I picked up my head, surely it couldn't be my turn to introduce myself. "Would you mind if this young man sits with you?" She asked, motioning to the boy who seemed to come late. I didn't know why she had to call out to me, the boy seemed like he could find his way to a seat.

His cheeks were light pink from the coldness outside and his ear were especially red because he didn't have any type of hat. I could tell from this distance that his eyes were blue, his black hair helped make that stand out. He licked his lips and stared at me, I assumed he was observing me as well.

I nodded to Margret and I heard a girl giggle. I turned my head towards the source and saw it was one of the girls from the front, she waved to me as she bit her lip. I blushed and turned away from her, looking back on my shoes. I hadn't received such a flirtatious glare from anyone before, it was strange and made me nervous.

"Hello." The boy greeted me as the previous person went on with their introduction. I waved, trying avoid the others, he must have caught the drift and began to listen to each person's name. I watched from the corner of my eye as he scribbled a few of the hard names down. How can someone be so interested in strangers? I don't think I've ever seen anyone focus on a stranger with such interest. I realized I was doing exactly that as I studied this stranger's features. His eyes sparkled blue, and his skin looked soft and relaxed. I envied him for that. It looked as if he had never had a spot in his life, meanwhile I have one ever week.

Soon enough it was his turn to introduce himself and he sent everyone a small smile. This time I paid close attention, focusing on how he crossed his fingers and spoke with a voice as soft as clouds as if to control his volume. I've never met someone so cautious, he was so heedful of his own actions.

"I'm Phil. Phil Lester." He introduced, yet his voice was still deep and dripping with seriousness.

"Is Phil short for something?" Margret asked with that painful smile still etched on her face. The more I looked at her the more unnatural her smile looked. At first glance she looked pretty normal and friendly but the hideous amount of red she wore was blinding me.

"Philip." He answered with a nod and everyone smiled. That's when the dread kicked in, everyone turned their eyes to me and I bit my lip.

"Dan." I stumbled over my own name. The girl from the front giggled again and I flicked my eyes to her and her right eye dropped in a wink.

I turned away with a blush but felt someone else's gaze on me. I looked next to me and saw Phil with a confused face that had an underlining of concentration. Once he noticed I was looking at him he flicked his eyes away as if he got caught checking a girl out.

"You don't have a last name?" Margret asked sarcastically with a small chuckle.

"I do." I answered.

"Well what is it?" She pestered with her smile going a bit dead. It kind of relieved me.

"Howell." I stated emotionless, Margret nodded with uncertainty and looked at the class with a smile.

"The first activity is getting to know your peers. Everyone turn to their partners and answer the key questions on the board behind me." Margret explained as she pulled the cover off a board that had plenty of questions written in red marker (what a surprise). Phil and I locked eyes at the same time and only two words raced through my mind.

Oh no.

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Okay. I sketched out and planned this idea. I was planning on never publishing it, but I decided why not? I don't want to keep a strict schedule, and just have fun with this. I've been writing this whenever I can, and so far I have ten chapters down, and writing more. I hope you guys enjoy it as well.