"Clara is twice your age."

"Still looks fab, though."

"..."

"No wrinkles."

"Wait a few years and she'll have ones."

"Look at you. Tsk tsk tsk."

"What."

"You have wrinkles around your mouth."

"They're called laugh lines, stupid."

"I want to kiss them."

(author squeals so very dramatically then continues to sip water)