One day down, two more to go and so far, I've made no major mess-ups. The only problem is Aidan has decided that as I'm leaving he should visit me more often, to lecture me about the perfect way to live and bring up a family.

Sitting at my usual spot on the edge of the window ledge in the living room, I watch Aidan walk away from the house. He doesn't seem to realise his talks only make me more grateful for my upbringing, more grateful for evading a life of unnecessary rules and guilt over actions not deemed pure or wholesome.

"How was Aidan's talk today?" Faryl smiles as he sits on the couch. This is the millionth smile he's given me since he found out I'm leaving in a couple of days. He's clearly happy about my departure.

"Very educational," I say flatly.

"Are you not reading today?" Max smirks sitting next to Faryl and Dorothea on the couch.

"No, I thought I'd look through some photos my fiance brought me. The only problem is I can't find them. You haven't seen them have you?" I smile sweetly and Max scowls.

Dorothea turns on the television and they all focus their attention on it in preparation for The State's daily update. This is the only television program deemed compulsory watching in this household. Maybe, it's every household.

Every night, I'm forced to sit through a show presented by two over-enthusiastic State loving maniacs who talk about how The State has purified society, allowing us to live in a safe virtuous society filled with happiness and purpose. It's all lies. I've visited the establishments they are saying have been eradicated for the last few decades. I know of hundreds of corrupt individuals, and I'm witnessing suffering and unhappiness in everyday life.

The television screen lights up with green and a large gold circle; the familiar theme tune starts. The music abruptly stops and a flicker makes me turn my head to focus back on the screen but the usual cheerful lying hosts have been replaced by blurred and grainy images.

Bright red words appear which I cannot read but they must be important because Dorothea, Faryl and Max gasp. In the background, masses of shuffling, hairless shadows sit in a bleak crumbling room. The image changes jerkily to show gaunt figures with thin frail arms moving frantically around large pieces of machinery. I can't figure out what they're doing but my gaze focuses in on the large crude squares on their wrists. This is footage from a Labour Camp.

More blood-red words appear along with more horrific images before they suddenly disappear and two tight-lipped State Hosts appear on the television. Excuses pour out their mouth; I hardly hear the words. I'm drowning in those grainy and hazy images. The faces of my mum, Grey and Teddy replace the hairless unidentifiable individuals.

Fingers wipe the tears I didn't know were rolling down my cheek. Arms wrap around me and a gentle soothing voice whispers in my ear, "Don't cry. You're here. You're safe with me."

I should shout out, but you're not safe with me. I don't. I lean into her and allow her to stroke my hair and hush into my ear while pretending she's my mum, but she never spoke so it doesn't feel right. I try to pretend it's Grey comforting me but the smell isn't right, the way he held me was different.

I pull away and stand up, wiping away the tears along with any emotion from my face. "I'm fine. I need to go to the bathroom."

Walking out, the images linger along with the unease. Grey and my mum may have been hung due to being connected with me but I refuse to let Teddy suffer too. I refuse to stand by and let any more people suffer.